Just What I Needed

Grinderman
The Warfield, San Francisco
November 29, 2010


On another November 29th MANY years ago, Umlaut was at this show:

Trivia: It was Metallica's first headlining show in San Francisco and Exodus with a baby-faced Kirk Hammett opened the night. Fast forward to the 21st Century and I found myself seeing Nick Cave grace The Warfield's stage for the 9th time; previously I'd seen Nick at The Warfield in 1990, 1992, 1998 (2 nights), 2002, 2003, 2008 (2 nights). So, yeah, I have ALOT of Music Geek history with Nick.

Three years ago Grinderman played a mere FOUR shows in North America and TWO of them were CLUB shows in San Francisco. It was AMAZING.... Click HERE to read Umlaut's reaction to those pair of special nights. To be honest, I haven't really gotten into the new Grinderman album compared to how enamored I was with the first album 3 years ago. However, I was more than ready to witness the new songs live since that's where Nick is best... and I was hoping the new songs would win me over onstage.

The band swaggered out from the darkness of stage left and launched into the new opener 'Mickey Mouse and the Goodbye Man'... and Cave immediately charged to the lip of the stage and I knew right away it was going to be a great night. According to the Umlaut Archives this was my 18th (!) time seeing Nick live. It was like seeing an old friend again.

Photo courtesy of Photo Ray

Nick was in full blown swagger and he was on a par with some of the best performances that I've seen in years past. I was glad to see that he has shaved off the 70's porn star moustache of 3 years ago and he worked the stage in that bad ass way that only he can. Part Preacher... Part Rock Star... All Bad Ass Motherfucker. It's funny to think of Grinderman as Nick's "side project" when the rest of the band are in his band the Bad Seeds. It's not much different seeing Jim Sclavunos on drums and Martin Casey on bass... but Warren Ellis is a whole new demon in Grinderman than he is with the Bad Seeds and his own band the Dirty Three. Remember when Warren was sort of that dorky Australian guy who told funny stories onstage with Dirty Three while wearing an AC/DC shirt?? Me too... In recent years I've been both fascinated and a bit concerned by Warren's transformation from the dorky intellectual of Dirty Three into the bearded, multi-instrumentalist mad scientist that he is with Grinderman and the Bad Seeds.

The 90 minute set was fairly balanced between songs from the first Grinderman album and new songs. The band were ferocious... They were inspiring... They were badass. Grinderman were exactly the band I needed to see at this point in my year. The new song 'Palaces of Montezuma' was like a Bob Dylan anthem that I've been wanting to hear again for the first time; I found myself completely caught up in the song... which was cool because I'd ignored it when listening to the new album. On the flipside 'What I Know' is one of the worst songs Nick has ever done IMO; it just seems too forced trying to be lyrically clever. However, even Nick's "bad" songs are better than most others' "good" songs... but I still liked the songs from the first album more tonight. Those first Grinderman songs have that extra bit of badass that puts them over the top... 'No Pussy Blues'... 'Get It On'... 'Honey Bee'. Nick dedicated 'Honey Bee' to someone name Tara Jane who he's dedicated songs to at shows in the past. What a lucky girl, right?

I've been going to way too many Metal shows recently and feeling burned out and jaded about most Metal bands. Thankfully, leave it to my hero Nick Cave to revive my faith in music and the live music experience. Nick is the only musician who I've followed blindly over the years since I first discovered him back in 1989. I still buy all of his releases and see him live even when I haven't liked what he's created... but in the end Nick has always won me over. As I said earlier, it was like seeing an old friend again.

To bring this November 29th full circle with my past, evidently Kirk Hammett was in the house tonight as well. Metal Militia! As a friend later observed, I was doing the same thing tonight as I was doing exactly 28 years (!) ago: Seeing a concert. Hope I die before I get old.

If you bought one of every Grinderman merch item you would have paid around $250. For such an artistic and intellectual guy, Nick has always had THE WORST tour shirt designs; this tour was no exception. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Man, I'm ready to ditch alot of the Metal bands that I've been listening to and going to see lately. They just bore the shit out of me... We'll see how this plays out.

Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from the night!

Burned Out

Dimmu Borgir / Enslaved / Blood Red Throne
The Regency, San Francisco
November 28, 2010

According to the Umlaut Archives this was my 70th show of the year... and to be honest I think I've hit a wall with Metal shows. I'm feeling burned out and jaded about most Metal bands right now. Anyway, they say a picture is worth a thousand words... so here's 1,000 words about tonight's show:

(Photo courtesy of Photo Ray)

If you bought one of every Enslaved merch item you would have paid $75. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Quote of the night in the Men's Room: "Everyone is an enemy in The Pit..."

The Rocking Dead

Jason Bonham's Led Zeppelin Experience
The Warfield, San Francisco
November 24, 2010

Of course I like alot of bands and artists from past decades and generations, but I hated Led Zeppelin as a kid because the "normal" kids and Jocks liked them. However, I eventually discovered their greatness in my 20's and have been fanatical about their legacy ever since. That being said, I still actively seek out artists and bands from here in the 21st Century... because to stay stagnant with your record collection is to become a zombie.

One of Umlaut's favorite new t.v. shows is The Walking Dead. I like it so much that I've started to read the long-running comic book series that the show is based on. While The Walking Dead is set in a stereotypical post-apocalyptic zombie world, what makes the story transcend the usual Horror fare is how much effort it spends to depict the human side of the survivors and how their situations affect them emotionally and psychologically. There is always an underlying melancholy with the characters. No matter how tough or hardened they might seem they're still haunted by their lives before the zombies; a better time when things were good.

The audience at tonight's show were Classic Rock Zombies who are easy to trap with nostalgia and also easily led to believe they can relive the past or even experience something from a previous generation that they missed. Nostalgia is like fresh meat to Classic Rock Zombies and Jason Bonham's Led Zeppelin Experience (JBLZE) fed and engorged them on this night before Thanksgiving.

This was an odd show right from the start, with chairs and tables set up in the downstairs area which is usually general admission. Umlaut is an Old Fart and I think the last time I was at a seated event at The Warfield was back in the 80's when it was still completely theater seating from its original days as a movie palace in the 1920's. We found our seats and for the first couple of songs it was actually alright because I was caught up in hearing THE SONGS. The JBLZE opened with 'Rock And Roll' and went into 'Celebration Day', the latter being one of my favorite Zeppelin songs.

Feeding the S.F. Classic Rock Zombies
(Photo courtesy of Photo Ray)

However, it didn't take long for reality to hit me and I remembered that I was watching a cover band. Yes, it was billed as a Led Zeppelin "experience" and a "tribute"... but it was still a cover band... albeit a cover band with actual DNA of the subject band in the lineup.... but still a COVER BAND.

• The singer looked like Chris Daughtry and it was CREEPY watching a bald Ed Hardy / Tapout-type guy sing 'The Lemon Song' ("Squeeze my lemon 'til the juice runs down my leg..."). The song's demeanor came off more like an ode to date rape with that guy on the mic.... Sorry, just being honest; Zeppelin songs should only be sung by dudes with long hair.
  

• The guitarist played well enough, but it was CREEPY how he did EVERY Jimmy Page move and mannerism and even facial expression that I've ever seen in vintage Zeppelin footage and photos. I imagined that he's been playing in Zeppelin cover bands for decades and perfected all of the moves in front of a mirror... When he pulled out a violin bow during 'Dazed and Confused' I literally laughed out loud. Trivia: Umlaut has stood within 5 feet of Jimmy Fucking Page and I didn't have the balls to talk to him. True story.
  

• The bassist was an anonymous long-haired guy playing a Fender. He would have looked better as this cover band's singer. That's all I got...
  

• The band was rounded out by another guitarist who also played occasional keyboards. It's a testament to Led Zeppelin that it required 5 mortals to recreate their songs that had originally been performed by only 4 Rock Gods. Having that extra musician onstage annoyed me. No, I'm not a musician, but it felt like the cover band was cheating by using that extra musician to recreate these iconic songs. Cover bands... can't live with 'em... can't kill 'em.

• Jason Bonham reminded me of Ricky Gervais as he did his monologues in between songs about memories of his dad. The monologues were accompanied by old home movies and family photos and had some entertaining anecdotes... but they only served to pull the heartstrings, crank up the nostalgia, and effectively distract the audience from the fact they were watching a COVER BAND. However, I got a CREEPY feeling that I was watching someone use the stage as therapy to publicly deal with some deeply-rooted abandonment issues... At one point Bonham said how he had lost his dad but "You (pointing at the audience) lost your favorite band...." and I said out loud "Iron Maiden??" Sorry... sometimes my smart ass side gets the best of me.

Ironically, I was sitting with two people who actually saw Led Zeppelin in concert and we all shared the same feelings about what we were seeing... Ranging from "WTF" to "WTF" to "You've got to be kidding...". Low point: Bonham playing a drum duet with his father during 'Moby Dick' using synchronized vintage video of Bonzo (some of it I recognized from The Song Remains The Same). The Classic Rock Zombies ate it up and gave the spectacle a standing ovation; I wanted to point out to them that the JBLZE version of 'Moby Dick' had only lasted 10 minutes and Zeppelin's live versions would sometimes extend to 30-45 minutes. I'm just saying...

During 'Dazed and Confused' the cover band threw a huge chunk of fresh meat to the audience by performing that old Summer of Love Hippie Shit anthem 'San Francisco' in the middle of the song.


Of course, the local Classic Rock Zombies became engorged on this fresh nostalgia flesh and ate it up. My stomach turned and I had to look away from the feeding frenzy. It was awful... just awful.

I became more interested in watching the people around me and became fascinated by how zombie-like the crowd reaction was... The band was the fresh meat representing a long-dead beloved band and the audience stumbled after them and were blank stare drawn to them. There was the guy in the front row wearing a sleeveless t-shirt pumping his fist to every song... The older hippie woman in tie-dye dancing and twirling... Another woman who did interpretive hand gestures to each song... The wasted biker dude at the bar who kept shouting "BONZO!!"... The MILF-riffic mom sitting to my left who practically gave me a lap dance as she danced while her teenage son sat next to her looking bored (I probably should have tipped her..). I was in the midst of a Classic Rock Zombie apocalypse; this was an event geared for music fans who look to the past and dead (or near dead) bands for their musical entertainment. The smell of nostalgia-drenched flesh drew the Classic Rock Zombies out and their blind and mindless pursuit of the Zeppelin memory was awful and horrifying to witness... and I had to escape. I had to get as far away from The Rocking Dead as possible. RUN.


The first part of the evening ("Act I") lasted around 70 minutes and 10 songs. After 'Moby Dick' there was a scheduled 15 minute intermission that was to be followed by "Act II" of the JBLZE. I realized there was no way in Hell I could sit through the cover band playing 'Stairway To Heaven'. NO... FUCKING... WAY. So we left just as "Act II" started. RUN.

If you bought one of every JBLZE merch item you would have paid around $170. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. I don't want to be a zombie! To quote H.P. Lovecraft: "That is not dead which can eternal lie... and with strange aeons even death may die." Hope I die before I get old.

No Veggie Option

Watain / Goatwhore / Black Anvil
DNA Lounge, San Francisco
November 17, 2010


It had been 19 days since my last gig, which I think is the longest break I’ve had all year between seeing bands. Those of you who know what I do to pay my mortgage know that even when I’m not seeing bands I’m still *around* bands… So, yeah, my life pretty much revolves around bands 24/7… for better or worse. I had been looking forward to this show ever since this tour was announced in the wake of the Behemoth / Watain tour being cancelled. However, I’ll just cut to the chase and say sometimes anticipation and reality don’t always live up to the hype in my head... but sometimes life is like that, man.

I *think* I saw a bit of Black Anvil's set back in March at the Scion Rock Fest in Ohio. I liked what their guitarist was doing tonight... but couldn't figure out if his sound was supposed to be that way or if it was because the sound mix was fucked up; I think it was probably a combination. I like Black Anvil’s New Yawk City take on “Black Metal”; Metal with a touch of Hardcore and they perform it well. Unfortunately, as much as I like the DNA, this was one of those DNA shows where the sound was not dialed in the way it should have been. Satan needs a new sound guy.

By my count this was Goatwhore's 5th or 6th Bay Area show on this album cycle; Umlaut always appreciates Road Dogs. However, while I respect their Road Dog ways this was one of the weakest Goatwhore sets I’ve seen. Maybe it was the smallish crowd during their set or their sound that was on the wrong side of shitty, but the set was simply routine to me. Gauntlet…fist… point… scream… guitar solo. Repeat. I hate to knock the boyz from N’awlins… but I’m not going to lie... I wasn't feeling 'em tonight. Gauntlet…fist… point… scream… guitar solo. Man, I would love an oyster po’boy right now.

Evidently Vancouver has been the only city so far on this tour that Watain has been allowed to use all of their stage props (pyro, a dozen or so rotting pigs heads, and pigs blood). I was hoping S.F. would live up to its liberal stereotype and be just as open minded as the Canadians... but, alas, the local health and fire codes reduced the Swedes to simply smearing pigs blood on themselves and their stage clothes. I guess having tofu impaled onstage would not have had the same effect as the pigs heads... and given the sanitized nature of the show it was funny to still see the stage monitors wrapped in plastic to protect them.

Come to think of it, I suppose it's probably not the healthiest thing to be in the front row for Watain and have pigs blood mixed with Swedish sweat splashed on you during a show... but Watain fans are certainly more hardcore than those pussies at a GWAR concert who simply get sprayed with colored water.

Watain annoints San Francisco with blood and sweat... literally.
(Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

Opening with the new song ‘Malfeitor’, Watain were still visually effective despite being denied their usual staging. The banners and metal tritons and upside down crosses set the tone even before the band came onstage... Although the tritons would have been more impressively Black Metal with pigs heads affixed to them. The initial attack provided by the band's Dean guitar endorsement was compelling at first... but I quickly started thinking again that Satan needs a new sound guy; the sound was muddy at best.

I've liked Watain's recorded works and their latest Lawless Darkness CD has been in heavy rotation for me since its release. However, as with other Black Metal bands in their class, Watain's live sound frustrates me. The genre’s elite tend to have thin guitar tones that are meant to blend with the rest of the band to create one engulfing Black Metal cloud. While this works in the studio, it generally means a shitty live sound in most cases (at least to my ears). The sound is like a carcass with no meat on the bone; there’s nothing to chew on. There's no TONE... Sinking your teeth into a mass of meat (or wheat gluton for my vegetarian / vegan friends) is infinitely more satisfying than gnawing on a bone… at least that’s the way I like it. That being said, Watain do legitimately fly the Black Metal flag under the stage lights... but some pyro and the stench and sight of animal carcasses onstage would have distracted me from the shitty sound.

(Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

Anyway, I wasn’t inspired by this show at all; I know, not very Metal of me. It was nice to get out on a Wednesday night… It was nice to see some bands… It was nice to see some friends… but it was one of those nights where the show didn’t live up to the hype in my head. It was the complete opposite of my recent Triptykon experience.

If you bought one of every Watain merch item you would have paid around $220. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. The next morning I saw Neal Schon's Porsche in the parking lot at work; I think it's safe to say Neal In The Sky has never played with a pig's head impaled onstage.

HAIL SEITAN!

Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from the night!

The Streets Of San Francisco

THE coolest memorial in the entire city...

(Pic by Umlaut)

It's somewhere in North Beach... but I'm not going to tell you where. Half the fun is finding it!

"Bass solo, take one..."

Return Of The King

Thrones / Acid King / Christian Mistress
Hemlock Tavern, San Francisco
Rocktober 29, 2010

I met up with Photo Ray and Sensory Abuse in the Lower Haight where we had to dodge the hipster idiots in order to enjoy a pre-show Rosamunde / Toronado combo... but it was all good especially with Slayer playing on Toronado's jukebox. Then we few, we happy few, made our way in the rain across town to Polk Street for The Rock Show.

Acid King recently returned from their debut tour of Australia... but this show was the band's first hometown show in almost exactly a year. However, given the band's infrequent hometown appearances (2 shows in 4 years...) it was cool to see the hype the show was given by the local press, including the SF Bay Guardian who said:

"Imagine this mythical union: L7 and Sleep joined in holy heavy matrimony, spitting out a bell-bottomed babe with a book titled Say You Love Satan in hand. Overlay this with indigo, fog, fuzz, a killer Hawkwind cover (the first song ever, it is said, to feature the word "parallelogram"), and dreamy female vocals dripping with distortion and demonic dew and doom. D-d-duhhh! This show is a no-brainer: formed back in 1993, Acid King is seminal SF stoner metal." - SF Bay Guardian

It's bizarre how Acid King has been virtually ignored by the local music press over the past 17 (SEVENTEEN!) years... but better late than never, mofos! Remember when Acid King shared a bill with L7 at Slim's? Me too.

In the past the Hemlock has been one of my least favorite local venues because the bar attracts a certain drunk hipster clientele and the space where the bands play is smaller than my living room (capacity 80)... but tonight the Hemlock was the perfect place to spend a pre-Halloween Friday night.

I've been wanting to see Christian Mistress for awhile... and they were alright... but they were so NWOBHM-ish that my head kept clicking on "cover band" during most of their songs. I mean, it's cool that a whole new generation has "discovered" NWOBHM again but since I had the Jaguar demo on cassette I can't get past hearing the riffs of my youth in these new bands. Just being old fart honest.


"To Brian"... Just saying. Anyway...

Indeed, it had been exactly 1 year and 4 days since Acid King last played in their hometown. I won't mince words: This band is family to me (AWWW...) and their music is part of the soundtrack to my life. I've known this band since before they were a band... since before The Internets... and when people talk about the longevity of bands I always think of Acid King. They are not out to crush the world... or change the world... or be the next band that hipsters like and Tweet and Facebook about. Acid King are one of those bands who exist outside of time and space and, while their sound can be labeled "retro", to me it's timeless... and loud... very loud.

It was cool that only 6 days after seeing Tommy G. Warrior and his TONE that I was in the same room as Lori and her TONE again. The Hemlock's back room was a little oversold packed, hot, and sweaty and made perfect when the band lurched into the opening song and the 2 people to my left both lit up joints. Contact high was in full effect, dude.

Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse

The moments of the night that completely caught me off guard was when Acid King played 2 new songs (tentatively titled 'Red River' and 'Coming Down From Outer Space'). Dude, the songs were HUGE!! MONSTROUS! Over the years Acid King has developed into an unreal volume beast that lays down a groove like few other bands... Rather than taking a club to bash you over the head, they put your head in a vice and slowly tighten it. It's a slow, low gear volume burn that I find more compelling than almost anything else involving Marshall stacks. It's pretty great that after all these years Acid King are spiking creatively again with a lineup that is beyond solid at this point. When the band is at full roar it's rare to witness a band operating as a single unit as profoundly as Lori, Joey (drums), and Mark (bass) do. HUGE. The 40 minute session closed with the hypnotic 'Sunshine And Sorrow' which is a song that could go on forever; I imagine it's what immortality sounds like.

Apologies to Thrones, but after squeezing out of the Hemlock's sweaty back room I spent the rest of the night chatting and catching up with numerous Umlaut Nation friends... including Black Cobra and members of Ludicra and Saviours. 'Twas a really great hang session that lasted until bar time. Good times.

According to the Umlaut Archives I've seen Acid King 28x (that is not a typo) dating back to their very first show in November 1993 (!); my car was broken into while they played. Remember when Acid King were on that bill with Hawkwind and Sleep in '94? Me too.

If you bought one of every Acid King merch item you would have paid $130. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. This was one of those surgically precise, fun, and easy nights that makes me appreciate being in San Francisco... Orange & Black, mofos!

Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from the night!