Thursday, September 08, 2005

The Menu and Diary Of A Madman

MENU OF A MADMAN

An anonymous source provided Umlaut with the following insight into Ozzy's recent backstage eating habits.

Note:
Phone numbers and e-mail addresses have been censored to prevent any shenanigans that could result in Sharon Osbourne going Iron Maiden on my ass...

NO GREEN FURNITURE.

"Let's go crazy!!"

===
"OZZY" NFL DRESSING ROOMS, CATERING REQUIREMENTS:

WE WILL NEED A TOTAL OF TWO [2] DRESSING ROOMS
*Please make sure there are clean linen tablecloths, fine quality dishes, and flatware in each of the Artists' Dressing Rooms. All Dressing Room Catering inquiries will be addressed to the Wardrobe Manager, Martha Heckman CEL. 510 456 xxxx

ONE (1) PRIVATE dressing room for OZZY OSBOURNE within the venue dressing room area. Please provide the following by 9:00 AM:
ONE (1) dressing room for OZZY OSBOURNE within the venue dressing room area.
Please provide the following by 9:00 AM:

NO GREEN FURNITURE:
* One (1) Sofa.
* Two (2) Arm Chairs.
* One (1) Coffee Table.
* Two (2) End Tables.
* Two (2) Lamps.
* Two (2) Folding Chairs.
* One (1) Full Length Mirror.
* Two (2) Banquet Tables or Comparable Counter space.
* One (1) Garment Rack.
* One (1) Clean Wastebasket with liner.
* Clean Carpeting or Area Rugs.
* *Please provide a SMALL REFRIGERATOR in Ozzy's room for chilled items, and a lined trash can.
This room must have adequate Air-conditioning/Heating and enough power supply to facilitate catering, stereos, lamps, and Wardrobe equipment.
Lavatory facilities must be CLEAN and supplied with paper towels, toilet paper, and hand soap. Lavatories must be in or close proximity to the Dressing Rooms.

AND

ONE (1) dressing room for OZZY OSBOURNE BAND within the venue dressing room area.

OZZY OSBOURNE PRODUCTION CONTACTS:
PRODUCTION MANAGER
CHARLIE HERNANDEZ
Office Tel: +312-543-xxxx
Office Fax: +1877-847-xxxx
Cell Tel: +1312-543-xxxx
E-Mail: CHALLIANCE@xxxxx.COM

PRODUCTION ASSISTANT
Alicia Loggan
Cell: 720 201 xxxx
E-Fax: 509-275-xxxx
E-Mail: ALOGGAN@xxxxx.com

*OZZY OSBOURNE DRESSING ROOM CATERING:

-One (1) small fresh fruit tray (skinned and sliced Papaya, Mangoes, Blueberries, Raspberries, Strawberries, Oranges, Pineapple, Etc.)
-Two RIPE skinned, peeled and sliced Mangoes
-One (1) small fruit bowl with Green and Golden Delicious Apples, Seedless Grapes, and Bananas
-(24) 1-liter bottles of Evian Water
-(12) 1-liter plastic bottles of Water (any brand)
-Four (4) Fresh New York Style Bagels, or Fresh Wheat or Rye Bread
-One (1) large bottle Pellegrino Sparkling Water
-One (1) Qt. of fresh squeezed Orange Juice (NO Tropicana or Florida Natural)
-6 Cans of Red Bull
-Two (2) Gallons of Spring Water
-One (1) Container of Lemon-Lime Powdered Gatorade
-Four (4) Cans of regular Coca Cola
-Four (4) small bottles of DIET Orangina
-Two (2) Lemons with cutting board and Knife
-One (1) small box of "PG Tips" English Tea Bags, (British Import Store Item)
-One (1) small box "Yorkshire Gold" English Tea Bags (British Import Store Item)
-One (1) box of Organic Green Tea
-One (1) small carton of non-fat milk
-Sugar, Splenda, Honey
-Three (3) sets of China and Flatware
-Three (3) Cloth Napkins
-Three (3) large glasses
-Three (3) large Coffee Mugs
-Three (3) Teaspoons
-(24) 16-oz Clear Solo drinking cups
-One (1) Hot water Kettle
-One (1) Electric Blender
-One (1) Microwave Oven
-One (1) box of Kleenex
-Clean Ice in Ice Bucket with tongs
-Paper napkins
-One (1) Bar of Soap

*MR. OSBOURNE'S DINNER TO BE DELIVERED AT 5:30 PM upon arrival at the venue, and the same meal meal at 10:30 PM, or tbd by MARTHA HECKMAN.
**Please prepare as fresh as possible**

*CHICKEN MEAL MAY BE REPLACED WITH (PLEASE CONFIRM WITH MARTHA HECKMAN)
-Two (2) PLAIN boneless, skinless chicken breast with NOTHING on it (no salt, grease, butter, spices!) BAKED or GRILLED
-One (1) Baked Potato
-Fresh GREEN salad (no iceburg lettuce) with cherry tomatoes ONLY
-Balsamic Vinegar and Oil for dressing on the side
-Two (2) large pieces of boneless white fish (Sea Bass, Halibut, or Red Snapper)
-Two (2) Mangoes, peeled and sliced on a plastic plate covered with plastic wrap
-One (1) bowl of SHORT GRAIN Brown Rice with chopped Leeks & Portobello Mushrooms mix in
-One (1) bowl of steamed Spinach
-One (1) bowl of Portobello Mushrooms

**OZZY OSBOURNE BAND DRESSING ROOM RIDER:

-One (1) Freshly Cut Fruit Tray
-One (1) DELI-TRAY FOR 10 PEOPLE NO PROCESSED MEATS
-One (1) small Assorted Cheese and Cracker Tray
CONDIMENTS [MAYO, BUTTER, MUSTARD ETC.]
1 LOAF WHEAT BREAD
1 16OZ. CONTAINER OF HUMMUS
1 PACKAGE OF PITA BREAD
-TWELVE (12) small Orange Gatorades
-TWELVE (12) small Green Gatorades
-TWENTY-FOUR (24) 1-liter Bottles of Evian Water
-Eight (8) 16OZ.Large bottles of Perrier Sparkling water
-Six (6) Diet Pepsi's
-Six (6) Diet Coke
-One (1) Bottle of low-cal Cranberry Juice
-One (1) Gallon of Spring Water for boiling
-One (1) Small box of PG Tip's Tea Bags (British Import Store Item)
-One (1) Small Carton 2% Milk
-Lemons, Honey, Sugar, Equal
-Teaspoons
-Three (3) Sets of China and Flatware
-Three (3) Cloth Napkins
-Three (3) Large Glasses
-Three (3) Large Coffee Mugs
-(12) 16oz. Clear Solo drinking cups
-Clean Ice in Ice Bucket with Tongs
-Paper Napkins
-One (1) box of Kleenex
-One (1) bar of soap
- Six (6) bottles of "oxygenated" water- stage drink PENTA is a brand name.
-One (1) Hot water Kettle


===
DIARY OF A MADMAN

A couple of months before Diary Of A Madman was released, Ozzy played a big outdoor show at Oakland Stadium on July 4th, 1981 (The bill: Heart / Blue Oyster Cult / Pat Travers / Loverboy / Ozzy).



It was America's 205th Birthday and Ozzy was on his first solo tour. He was also fat, but he worked the stage like nobody's business and Randy Rhoads was godlike on guitar.. BUT, Loverboy rated higher on the bill than Ozzy! He went on 2nd right after local band 415 (featuring the future singer of that crap band Mr. Big on vocals).

In December of that year Ozzy & Co. were back in the Bay Area headlining the Cow Palace on the Diary Of A Madman Tour. The show was sold out to the maximum.



We waited in line all day ala Heavy Metal Parking Lot. By the time the doors were supposed to open, the crowd outside the Cow Palace was huge and impatient. However, the doors didn't open on time... and when they still didn't open the crowd started to turn mob-like.

Some dudes at the front of the line charged past security and tried to break the doors down. Meanwhile, a mass of people at the back of the line charged forward to cut to the front of the line. Then, just to make the situation even more Metal, other impatient fans took some wooden pallets and set them ablaze.

RIOT!

Rich Hellhound was with Umlaut and recalls:

"There was a small, blue garbage truck-like vehicle parked in front of the building and people started throwing bottles at it. This went on for some time. Finally, it was moved but there was a lot of alcohol pooled in the area. I don't remember pallets, but someone did set the ground on fire. I remember it being the alcohol that burned."

"Police in full riot gear were standing in front of the building after the fire burned out. I remember clearly we were in the middle part of the line. It was the people in the back of the line that knocked down the metal barricades and started marching on the door. The riot police held them off. Our part of the line was pretty mellow compared to those other two parts, and I recall just watching, sort of dumbfounded. It was amusing, but surreal, like something out of a movie."


Umlaut remembers it being rather medieval.

Finally the doors did open and, to make a long story short, we saw Ozzy with Randy Rhoads again.. although not without further incident.

Rich Hellhound:

"During the latter part of Ozzy's set, the giant mechanical hand that was supposed to come out from under the tall drum riser with Ozzy in its palm malfunctioned. I remember all the fog onstage, the doors opening, and this giant hand just sort of bobbing up and down slowly (but not extending)."

"The doors closed, and Ozzy came out, flashing his peace signs. They did one more song, then that was it. No explanation or anything; the house lights just came on. It seemed like a short set. The crowd once again became angry. I remember a bottle thrown from the crowd striking Tommy Aldridge's drum kit."


Ozzy with Randy Rhoads - Cow Palace, S.F. - 12/30/81
(From the Umlaut Archives)


Less than 3 months later Randy Rhoads was dead and Umlaut hasn't seen Ozzy solo since.

"Don't need no astrology, it's inside of you and me..."