SPF 666

The exciting sequel to Swinging On The Gallows Pole and A Rainy Night!

Warped Tour
Pier 30/32, San Francisco
June 26, 2009

Although Umlaut has been going to Warped off and on for years, the recent ones have sort of *required* my attendance due to bizness relationships (Hey Kurt!). At around 9:30AM on this Saturday morning I noticed this Twitter from Gallows:

gallowsofficial we're playing at 11am today on the Hurley stage in San Francisco. Everyone's still asleep hahaha

FUCK ME... Gallows were basically the only band I wanted to see this year!! Thankfully BART was running flawlessy and I made it into the festival site along the S.F. waterfront with 15 minutes to spare before the lads hit the stage. To make things better, S.F. was already starting to bake under this weekend's SPF 666 heatwave! Hot fun in the Summertime.

This was my 4th time seeing Gallows (after Warped 2007, New York City 2007, and Slim's 2008) and it raised the level of my fandom even more. As I've said from Day One: Gallows are the real fucking deal! They just go out and do it, no matter how big or small their audience might be... They take a situation and make it their own... and THAT'S the sign of a great band! It was 11:00AM... most of the kidz were still waiting in line trying to get inside or still at home getting ready for the all day festivities... but Gallows rose to the occasion to serve us a breakfast of mayhem.

At around 11:00AM they launched into 'Friendly Bombs' and the next 30 minutes or so was one of the best sets I've seen a band play all year! After the first 2 songs Frank and his brother Stephen climbed over the barrier and performed the next 4 songs from The Pit amongst the growing crowd of kids. It was awesome... WAY more awesome than the dive into The Pit Frank took at their Bay Area debut at Warped 2007. For their first song amongst the people, Frank changed the lyrics of 'London Is The Reason' to "S.F. is the reason!" Nicely done, lad.

Frank goes over the wall while Stephen waits his turn
(Pic by Umlaut)

As I was watching the performance standing on the barrier I noticed a good number of youngsters pushing their way to the front and being completely oblivious that 2/5 of the band was behind them... yet they dutifully watched the rest of the band perform and not once did I see it register on their faces "Wait a minute... none of the guys onstage are singing.. where is the singer!?" It didn't happen... stupid kidz.. However, the hundreds of kidz who were paying attention became one with the band for the rest of their set, including an awesome crowd participation version of 'Gold Dust' that had Frank directing a pit to circle around the soundboard:

(Vids by Umlaut)

In the 2nd video, note Frank and Stephen in the middle of The Pit... and Stephen taking off and joining The Pit while still playing guitar! EPIC! I fucking love this band so much, man... and, dude, all of that action happened before Noon... and I had only had coffee for breakfast! The tone of my day was thus set. A couple of hours later I was walking backstage and noticed a setlist trampled on the ground and noticed "London" printed on it.. and I immediately knew what band it was and picked it up... SCORE!


"S.F. is the reason!"

After Gallows, my day could have been over but instead I spent the next 6-7 hours walking... walking... walking.. walking trying to check out other bands on the festivals 7-8 stages... walking to go chat with Bizness friends... walking as I waded through the sea of humanity. Thankfully I had Photo Ray and HRC to keep me company for the day.. with guest appearances by Alan, The Man & His Lady, and a literally 10 second appearance by Nikki Blakk.

I'll just go ahead and say it: Warped is for The Kidz and not for an Old Fart like me. I find the vast majority of the bands to be crapola and derivative of other bands who came before them... but the majority of the sold out crowd of around 35,000 kids didn't care since, to quote Poison (which is something I loath to do, but it fits the mindset), "It ain't nothin' but a good time"..

On the other hand, Warped Tour is a branding juggernaut and a celebration of Vans and the company's 43 year (!) history. For the newbies, if you don't know the history of Vans it's a pretty cool one and the people there are some of the coolest and legit folks I know... and this year I was once again introduced to Steve Van Doren (aka VANS) , whose family started the company in 1966... which trips me out. Yes, Vans was started by one person with a vision. Crazy, right? The Van Doren legacy can be seen on the feet of the thousands of kidz at Warped; I always trip on how practically EVERY kid at a Warped Tour show is wearing Vans. Vans are everywhere, and that's a good thing.

Anyway, back to the bands... Aside from the Old Skool Stage, most of the bands were simply 3rd generation versions of one band or another.. but I did spend time watching a few:

D.I.: I swear, at last year's Warped Tour at Shoreline I arrived at the Old Skool Stage just as D.I. were playing 'Richard Hung Himself'... Fast forward to 2009 in S.F. and as I arrived at the Old School Stage, D.I. were playing 'Richard Hung Himself' again. Weird.

Dommin: I've missed seeing this band twice over the past year, but seeing their dramatic Gothy selves in daylight wasn't ideal... However, the band was entertaining and opened with a raw version of their signature song 'My Heart, Your Hands'... but the best part of their set was facilitating a heartwarming HRC > Kristofer Dommin special moment before the set.

Dommin (Pic by Umlaut)

Duane Peters Gunfight: Back at the Old Skool Stage, I had no idea who this band was and had to ask the kid standing in front of me ("Gee Mister... Why, it's the Duane Peters Gunfight..").. The band is fronted by pro skater Duane Peters and they were straight up old school Punk Rock with 6 members including a guitarist who was dead ringer for a more road-weary Ron Wood. Their 3 guitar attack and seasoned musicianship made them stand out amongst all the newbie band pretenders. Me likey.

Bad Religion: I've seen Bad Religion so many times... same as it ever was... I've never really been a fan.. so there you go... Took some pics from the Photo Pit.. Then a mean security person told us to leave despite our VIP passes.. Whatever, Little Napoleon!

TSOL: Again at the Old Skool Stage... The last time I saw TSOL they were playing the Old Skool Stage at last year's Warped and I had exactly the same thought all over again: THAT'S the band in Suburbia?! Darker my love.....

Adolescents: Still at the Old Skool Stage, it was funny how I still know the lyrics to 'Amoeba' after all these years. Also, one of the guitarists looked exactly like a guy I used to work with in the Lock 'N Loll Biz... and it was tripping me out.. and not in a good way.

In This Moment: They basically were playing on a small flatbed truck with the Ernie Ball logo on it. Unfortunately, Maria Brink's dimensions were more impressive than their songs. After a song and a half it was time to wander around some more...

Flipper: No Krist Novoselic on bass this time around. The last time I saw Flipper they were sloppy and great at The Fillmore. This time they were a bit tighter.. and they played 'Sacrifice'.. but I didn't enjoy them as much for some reason... and I said goodbye to the Old Skool Stage and didn't stick around for The Dickies again this year; I probably should have at least stayed to hear 'Gigantor'.. Oh well.

Shooter Jennings: Waylon's only son on the Warped Tour!? According to the setlist they were supposed to play 6 songs, but one song was crossed out so all we got was 5 tunes... His brand of Country Rock was the perfect alternative to all of the crappy new Punk and Metal bands that had polluted my day; the song 'California Via Tennessee' was the highlight for me. Seeing a band with legit musicians was exactly what I needed late in the afternoon of this hot day. Plus, Shooter looks exactly like his dad..

Shooter Jennings (Pic by Umlaut)

Black Tide: This was my 4th time seeing these Metal youngsters (when their debut album came out last year the band ranged in age from a mere 14 to 19 years old).. Long story short, although I liked their album, I have not been impressed with the band onstage at all. That being said, this time around Black Tide were better... more seasoned.. although I was very amused how the band's front kid Gabriel is all tough and inked now and asked the crowd if they liked to "suck cock" and also something about "hairy assholes" (perhaps a homage to San Francisco and it being Gay Pride Weekend...).. I wonder what his Mom would have said if she'd been there to hear her teenage son say such nasty things?! "Gabriel!! You go straight to your tour bus!! And no strippers for you tonight, young man!!" You go, Black Tide kidz! Just start working on your 2nd album already.....

NOFX: For the hell of it, as I made my way to the exit, HRC and I wandered onstage to watch a bit of NOFX. I noticed a large group of people standing near the stage ramp, but we walked past them and up the ramp like we belonged there. Minutes later that side of the stage became jam packed with NOFX's guests and families (including an Asian S.F. Hell's Angel 1% brutha..). After 30 seconds of their first song I decided it was time to go home since I couldn't see shit from that vantage point and I was over wading through the humanity. Bye bye.

THANKS as always to Kurt SuperSix8 for sorting our passes, etc.! He's a host in the truest sense of the term.

Merch audit: There was alot of merch (The End).. On the way back to BART, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. All in all it was a good afternoon to spend outdoors, but that evening I was completely loopy from all the sun, which almost caused me problems while driving through a DUI check point near Casa de Umlaut... Thank dog for sunscreen!

Bubbles

An FYI for the San Franfuckincisco Bay Area locals: Jeff Koons' iconic Michael Jackson and Bubbles sculpture is part of the SFMOMA's permanent collection:

It's how Umlaut chooses to remember the Self-Proclaimed King Of Pop.. Thanks to CMoore for reminding me about this!

Thriller

In the wake of the 24/7 media mourning that's taking place over the death of The Self-Proclaimed King Of Pop, Umlaut felt compelled to state for the record that in 1982 when Thriller came out I was NOT a fan... at all... in any way shape or form. Thriller did not change my life... at all.. in any way shape or form. For the record, this is what was melting my turntable and cassette deck when 'Beat It' was making its way up the charts:

• Accept - Restless and Wild
• Aerosmith - Rock In A Hard Place
  
• Anvil - Metal On Metal
• Baron Rojo - Volumen Brutal
• Blackfoot - Highway Song Live
• Iron Maiden - The Number Of The Beast
• Jaguar - Power Games
• Judas Priest - Screaming For Vengeance
• Krokus - One Vice At A Time
• Loudness - Devil Soldier
• Manowar - Battle Hymns
• Mercyful Fate - Mercyful Fate EP
• Metallica - No Life 'Til Leather Demo Tape
  
• Motörhead - Iron Fist
• Raven - Wiped Out
• Scorpions - Blackout
• Tank - Filth Hounds Of Hades
• Venom - Black Metal
• Witchfinder General - Death Penalty
• Y&T - Black Tiger

Indeed, 1982 was a landmark year for music... but it's all a matter of perspective. For the record, THIS was THE defining moment for me in 1982 (and for many others as well..).

On another note, Umlaut thinks it's funny that when Jacko was down the media called him the "Self-Proclaimed King of Pop" but now that he's dead the same media is calling him "The King of Pop".. Respect is a dish best served cold I guess.

Maiden... always.

Scenes From My 'Hood

At least the violent homeless people in my 'hood are educated!

Physics discussion ends in skateboard attack

Henry K. Lee, Chronicle Staff Writer
Thursday, June 25, 2009
13:20 PDT SOUTH SAN FRANCISCO

A homeless man is on trial in San Mateo County on charges that he smacked a fellow transient in the face with a skateboard as the victim was engaged in a conversation about quantum physics, authorities said Wednesday.

Jason Everett Keller, 40, allegedly accosted another homeless man, Stephan Fava, on the 200 block of Grand Avenue in South San Francisco about 1:45 p.m. March 30.

At the time, Fava was chatting with an acquaintance, who is also homeless, about "quantum physics and the splitting of atoms," according to prosecutors. Keller joined in the conversation and, for reasons unknown, got upset, authorities said. He picked up his skateboard and hit Fava in the face with it, splitting his lip, prosecutors said.

Fava also fell and broke his ankle, although how this happened wasn't known, authorities said.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/06/25/BAH118D37E.DTL

Bye Bye

This does not make me feel old... but my Inner Child of The 70's is sad. All of the posters that I had on my bedroom wall are *gone* now: Star Wars, KISS, and now Farrah. At least Farrah left with her self-respect... unlike the other two. Meanwhile, here in the 21st Century...

Isis Redux

The exciting sequel to Isis!

Isis
Great American Music Hall, San Francisco
June 23, 2009

It's been awhile since Umlaut has gone to a gig solo... and it's been awhile since I've seen a band on back-to-back nights in different cities as well. I don't really know why I felt compelled to see Isis twice in 48 hours; I like them, but I can't call myself a fanatic. It just felt like something I needed to do for some reason.

The set Isis played in San Jose the night before was brilliant, but performed in a venue that is only 1/3 the size of the Great American (GAMH). I was interested to see how the band's performances might differ because of the stage they found themselves on each night: one night they were basically in a garage... the next night at one of the great historic venues on the West Coast.

I entered the GAMH as Helms Alee were onstage and it was a different vibe than the previous night right away.. The crowd wasn't as "Metal" as the San Jose crowd and there were more "normal" looking people in the crowd.. which was fine of course since they were all there for Isis.. but I found that contrast interesting.... 'cause I'm a Geek about crap like that. Also, I was sort of mentally prepared to be anonymous at the gig since I was flying solo, but I ended up running into people who I knew.. which was fine of course: I talked Rock Biz with Alan and Justin of Secret Serpents and it was nice that HRC was there keeping things real.

The set itself had a different vibe for me as well.. Before they started playing, Aaron announced that the set was dedicated to their Tour Manager, who was going through a rough time at the moment. You gotta love a band who looks after their crew! From there they set sail with 'Hall Of The Dead' and for the next 90 minutes it was another soul cleansing Isis experience.

I stood towards the back in order to be near the "sweet spot" for the sound.. because with Isis for me it's all about how their sound streams out of a PA in profound textures. Watching Isis in their element on the regal stage of the GAMH was in stark contrast to their San Jose show the previous night on the tiny stage at The Blank Club. In S.F. each member had his own space on the bigger stage and their focused ferocity was allowed to really blaze. Another difference was the band returned for an encore and laid waste to S.F. with a great, but abbreviated, version of 'Celestial'... which ended abruptly when Aaron's amp crapped out. Ferocity comes with a price.

If you bought one of every Isis merch item you would have paid >$200. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. It must be noted that Isis shirts were $3 more in S.F. than they were in San Jose the previous night. Everything is more expensive in The Big City! Discuss amongst yourselves.

Isis

"Isis, oh, Isis, you mystical child..." - from 'Isis' by Bob Dylan

(Trivia: 'Isis' is Umlaut's favorite Bob Dylan song..)

Isis
The Blank Club, San Jose, CA
June 22, 2009

For the newbies: Isis are from the generation of bands begat by Umlaut's old friends Neurosis.. and sonically they also remind me of The Swans at times.. and then there's the Tool similarities.. but Isis are worthy of this lineage.. and here in the 21st Century Isis are now like the more nerdy older brother of the more commercially successful Mastodon. In short, an intellectual band who likes to shake the walls with volume while combining it with an intellectual aesthetic to everything they do. NERDS!

Umlaut hasn't really followed Isis closely in almost 5 years, but I really like their new album (Wavering Radiant); back in 2004 I was all kinds of crazy about their Panopticon album with its cover art featuring an aerial photograph of Casa de Umlaut (Seriously, you can see Casa de Umlaut if you know where to look..). Since then, I became all kinds of crazy about Red Sparowes (a side project of Isis' keyboard / guitarist Bryant Clifford Meyer). So, now I guess it's appropriate for me to come full circle and be all kinds of crazy about Isis again.

For the 2nd time in 19 days I traveled down to a club in the valley of my birth for a gig; last year I made the same trek only once all year. Prior to the show, Timo and Umlaut had a last minute dinner and some quality time with the lovely and charming RJ and Kat at the forever excellent Super Taq. Upon arrival at The Blank Club, we took advantage of the liberal in-and-out policy and hung outside while enjoying the balmy Summer nighttime Downtown San Jose weather. S.F. can talk smack about S.J... but S.J. will win the weather war every time.

The Blank Club's knee-high stage is tiny and shoved in a corner and this configuration required the drum kit to be set up BEHIND the back line in order to fit the 5-man Isis onstage; Michael Gallagher's effects board looked almost as big as the stage as it was being set up. This was the 2nd time in 4 days that my ears and senses were assaulted by a band wielding aluminum guitars! First it was Shellac and their vintage Travis Beans, and now it was Isis and their EGC aluminum axes. METAL.. literally!

It was cool to see a sold out Metal show in Downtown San Jose on a Monday night; things are different since I lived there a million years ago! At 10:55PM the band hopped (literally) onstage and launched into the new song 'Hall Of The Dead' and it was 80 minutes of mind cleansing volume that I needed and appreciated. It was also cool to see Isis in a tiny club (The Blank Club capacity = 200) with a suburban audience who were both into the band and also obviously familiar with their music. At several times during the show it seemed like everyone in the club was banging their heads in unison to Isis' volume... and a couple of times I realized I had closed my eyes and was focusing on one instrument during a song. Every once in awhile a band makes me do that: I focus all my attention on one instrument and trip on it. Is that Hippie Shit? Probably.. but I don't do drugs and I did not have any alcohol all evening so this behavior is purely GEEK.

I had to pick my head up off the floor a couple of times because it had been blown away by the band's performance; despite being crammed onto a tiny stage they rose to the occasion and seriously delivered. Also, the sound was surprisingly perfect for a tiny suburban venue! Hail The Blank Club... and it was weird when Aaron Turner said his first words to the audience right before the final song of the set; it was the first time the band addressed the audience. Hearing a human speaking voice after being sonically assaulted and cleansed for the previous hour or so was kind of jarring.. but I had to be brought back to reality at some point.

The merch table was shoved into a dark corner and I couldn't do a merch audit because the only lighting came from the club's red colored light bulbs (club ambiance over functional lighting, dude..); black apparel under red lights in a dark room = practically invisible! On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. We stood in front of the soundboard for Isis and before they came on I noticed the club's DJ had Ludicra and Buzzov*en CDs lined up to play; things are different since I lived in Downtown San Jose a million years ago!

Old Habits

PJ Harvey & John Parish
The Warfield, San Francisco
June 19, 2009



I've been following PJ Harvey (PJH) since Day One and the first time I saw her was on her debut U.S. Tour at Slim's back in 1992. However, at this point I follow PJH out of habit more than anything else; I don't want my fanboy record to be broken now that I've come so far with her. It's been almost 5 years since PJ Harvey last played in San Francisco and my fandom hasn't been easy in recent years since her last 2 albums have not really engaged me at all... but old habits are hard to break.

This tour is co-billed as PJ Harvey and her longtime collaborator John Parish with a setlist featuring only songs from the albums they've recorded together: The latest album A Woman A Man Walked By and 1996's Dance Hall At Louse Point. The partnership dates back to their first band, Automatic Dlamini, in the late 80's and Parish has also played on several of PJH's albums over the years and been a member of her touring band as well.

It was obvious what kind of performance it was going to be as soon as PJH and the band walked single file onto the stage: the guys were dressed in suits and ties and PJH was barefoot in a plain black dress. Besides Parish the band consisted of PJH's other long time cohort (and S.F. resident) Eric Drew Feldman and two new Euro guys on drums and bass / guitar respectively. The set kicked off with 'Black Hearted Love' from the new album and it was a stellar performance, but after 90 minutes I was honest enough to admit I was not a fan of the setlist. I can't argue the artistic decision for PJH only playing songs from her catalog with Parish, but after an almost 5 year absence it was a bummer that all of her best (and most well-known) songs were left on the shelf. Although the audience was enthusiastic, I couldn't help but wonder how many of them didn't know any of the songs in the set; I would venture to guess quite a few.

(Pic by Umlaut)

As I said, I can't argue with PJH's artistic decision regarding this tour, but I was disappointed that the set did not at least include my 2 favorite songs from the PJH / Parish collaborations; there was no 'That Was My Veil' and no 'Losing Ground'... Which was disappointing since it's not like the PJH / Parish catalog is huge (2 albums and a couple of non-LP B-sides)! So, with even those songs missing in action, I have to say the set left me feeling indifferent, which has never happened to me in the 6 times I've seen PJH live. Bummer.... but when you follow an artist out of habit you gotta take the disappointments with the good.

If you bought one of every PJ Harvey merch item you would have paid $75. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. After the show, we made a suspicious delivery in SoMa and then dodged alot of late night Mission 911 action for a post gig burrito at Cancun.


The End.

Indie Rock

Shellac / Arcwelder
Great American Music Hall, San Francisco
June 18, 2009

For the newbies: Shellac is fronted by Steve Albini... who also fronted Big Black in the 80's... and who has produced a staggering number of albums by the likes of Nirvana, PJ Harvey, Pixies, Superchunk, The Jesus Lizard, High On Fire, Cheap Trick, Flogging Molly, Mogwai, Neurosis... among others.

Trivia: Although Umlaut has a Metal reputation, the truth is my Metal Years spiked when I was, like, in my early-20's. Yes, I've gravitated back to Metal in recent years but, truth be told, the late-80's / early-90's Indie Rock scene is just as important to me as Old Metal. Dude, I was way into most of the Touch & Go and Amphetamine Reptile bands... WAY.. and those bands were a huge part of the soundtrack to the original xeroxed 'zine version of Umlaut.

Anyway, fast forward to the 21st Century and this was the last night of Shellac's packed 2-night stand at the Great American, which was part of their current 11 shows in 7 cities U.S. Tour; the last time Shellac toured was 4 years ago. Having two longtime Touch & Go bands like Shellac and Arcwelder on the bill gave this show a circa 1994 Midwest Indie Rock vibe, which was cool. These are the type of band that "Indie Rock" used to represent: bands who wield volume deftly and who are profound in their aggression. They are the complete opposite of the neutered pussy stuff that defines "Indie Rock" here in the 21st Century.

Arcwelder were one of those Touch & Go bands who I didn't really follow back in The Day but they were great... like Hüsker Dü's younger cousin visiting San Francisco for the first time.. wide eyed and excited and wrapped in that 1994 Midwest Indie Rock aura. Good stuff.

Onstage, Shellac's signature bass and guitar tones via Albini and Bob Weston's Travis Beans create a glorious wall of volume behind Todd Trainer's freight train drumming. I was tripping how the Travis Beans (with their mostly aluminum construction) don't sound like other guitars; the chords erupt from the instruments more from a vibration of metal instead of resonating from wood... This was especially powerful when Albini would hit a chord to wrestle feedback from his metal axe and it sounded like a metallic animal being unleashed from its steel cage... and the leash keeping the volume beast focused was Trainer's steady work with the sticks that was equal parts Punk and Jazz.

Shellac also display that trait I love about alot of the old school Noise bands: They don't just slash and burn with volume and feedback, but they also lay it all down into a groove versus just pounding it out. At around 10:50PM the band launched into the volume groove godhead that is 'Steady As She Goes' and my evening was complete.

As is a tradition with Shellac, Weston did a brief mid-set Q&A session with the audience.. with questions ranging from inquiries about the band's amps to a question about his favorite type of sausage from a specific brand (a Midwest brand I assume.. but I didn't catch the name).. For the record, Bob listed his favorites as Elk, Buffalo, and a couple of other cloven hoofed animals... and Albini chimed in that his favorite sausage is the Unicorn. Yummy!

After 90 minutes of blow torching the stage, and as the final song melted down to a close, Albini and Weston started to dismantle the drum kit as Trainer kept a beat on the snare... until even that was taken away. Thankyougoodnight!

There seemed to be an unusual number of dorky guys wearing glasses in the crowd (guilty!). If you bought one of every Shellac merch item you would have paid NOTHING; the band refused to sell any because they didn't want to pay the GAMH its standard merch percentage. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. For the newbies: Yes, venues take a cut of band's merch sales... Everyone wants a piece of the pie, kids.

The Return Of The King

Acid King / Black Cobra
Bender's, San Francisco
June 13, 2009



This night was epic. It was epic because 2 of my favorite bands were sharing the bill. It was epic because the occasion was to celebrate the art of one of my favorite Lock 'N Loll artists. It was epic because Umlaut was surrounded by some of his dearest friends all night (which happened to include the 2 bands).

Besides the one-two punch of Acid King and Black Cobra, the evening also featured the art of the bands' graphic artist Alan Forbes, with examples of his Lock 'N Loll posters hanging around the club and being offered for sale at the merch table. You might not be familiar with Alan's name, but there's a good chance you've seen his work before. Umlaut was totally gobsmacked when he learned awhile back that Alan is responsible for the Black Crowes' original logo (Dude, the first 3 Crowes' albums are Umlaut faves..):

Black Crowes 1990 Tour Button
(From the Umlaut Archives)

Alan has also done work for AC/DC, Queens Of The Stone Age, Faith No More, Mars Volta and many other of our fave bands. Check out his website for more info and geek out on his work.

Since I pretended I was a roadie and helped Lori Acid King carry in her equipment, I was given the Bender's band stamp which entitled me to as many cans of PBR as I could drink all night... Dude! I thought it was cute how the young bartender opened the PBR pull tabs for her customers and also used an old style can opener to punch a vent hole in the top of the can as well. Who does that anymore?? I haven't seen a can of beer opened like that since, like, WAY back in the 20th Century.

Lori and Umlaut's All You Can Drink PBR stamps

Bender's is a cool space but, man, it was really packed by show time and it became a fucking sweatbox as the bands started to play. At one point a girl came up to me and asked if I was a "Music Journalist.."... I said "Not really.."... and she said "Oh.. 'cause you look like one..".. and when I didn't really bite on that she commented on my Iron Maiden shirt and that was that; I took the interaction as a compliment (Thank you, young lady!).. but maybe I should stop walking around shows with a pen behind my ear.

Mark my words, you'll be hearing alot about Black Cobra by the end of the year. This was the final show before Rafa and Jason enter the studio to record a new album for their new label, the mighty Southern Lord, with legendary producer Billy Anderson. The kids down front for Black Cobra were the drinkers and beer can tossers and it was cute to see some decent crowd action erupt... and deservedly so.. 'cause, holy fuck, the band's 12-song set was tighter than a bolt rusted onto a nut. I've said before that Rafa and Jason are like a force of nature and it's been cool to be able to watch them develop and evolve as a band... Just when you think you know where they're going with one of their sonic stabbings onstage they veer off into another groove within the blink of an eye and their volume knife is suddenly at your throat; a force of nature (Note: I think the sonic stabbings > volume knife analogy is pretty good... I'm just saying..).

The mighty Acid King are returning to thunder across Europe this Summer, but not before making their first hometown appearance in almost 3 YEARS (!). Although they've toured Europe twice since their last S.F. show, the last time The King graced a stage in San Franfuckincisco was in October 2006 when they supported Boris at Slim's... on Umlaut's birthday no less! Another epic night.

The kids down front for Acid King were the stoners and it was cute to see some decent headbanging and fists in the air erupt... and deservedly so.. 'cause, holy fuck, the band sounded so great. It was beyond good to hear Lori (The Queen of Tone!) laying down her trademark hot asphalt riffs again as Joey and Mark followed with their steamroller rhythm (Note: I think the hot asphalt > steamroller analogy is pretty good... I'm just saying..). The King's set was augmented by a cool video montage projected onto the screen behind them that featured vintage footage of Anton LaVey leading spooky Satanic rituals and Hell's Angels riding around on hot asphalt; it added a whole other dimension to the band's performance. The entire presentation was perfect and I was reminded how much I had missed seeing and hearing The King's volume groove...

According to the Umlaut Archives, I've seen Acid King at least 30x (thirty... times..) over the years and this was one of my favorite performances mainly because it was cool to see fanboys (and girls) singing along with Lori and it was cool that at the end of the set the fanboys (and girls) gave the band a rousing, sweaty cheer as they left the stage. Hopefully Acid King will use a different calendar moving forward and not let 1,000 days go by before they play in their hometown again.

After the sweat settled, I snagged The King's setlist and had Rafa write down Black Cobra's set from memory... just 'cause it's what Music Geeks do:


Maybe look for this gem on Ebay in the near future...

As I said at the beginning, this was an epic night... and it was all the more special because I was surrounded by dear friends; many of them have been coming to Casa de Umlaut for BBQs and potlucks for years (YEARS!). I didn't do a merch audit, but there was some COOL swag for sale between the bands and Alan's art, so I hope The Kidz didn't spend all of their money at the bar. On the way back to the car, some pimpy-faced teenagers called me a fag. If you missed this magical night, perhaps you can experience it for yourself in the near future:

Black Cobra 2009 Tour:

• July 24th - Blue Lagoon, Santa Cruz, CA
• July 29th - Thee Parkside, San Franfuckincisco, CA
• September 19th - Tokyo, Japan
• September 20th - Loud Festival, Nagoya, Japan
  
• September 21st - Osaka, Japan
  
• September 22nd - Kyoto, Japan
  
• September 23rd - Gifu, Japan
  
• September 26th - Yokohama, Japan
  
• September 27th - Tokyo, Japan
  

Acid King European Summer 2009 Tour:

• July 29th - Hamburg, Germany
• July 30th - Berlin, Germany
• July 31st - Dresden, Germany
• August 1st - Reims, France
• August 2nd - Geneva, Switzerland
• August 3rd - Sierre, Switzerland
• August 4th - Milano, Italy
• August 5th - Graz, Austria
• August 6th - Wien, Austria
• August 7th - Innsbruck, Austria
• August 8th - Sauzipf Rocks Festival, Kärnten, Austria

Check the bands' websites for venue and show information, dude. Tell the bands Umlaut sent you... and then buy some merch.

Over The Wall

Testament
The Fillmore, San Francisco
June 12, 2009

In the 3 months since this show was announced it's been one of those big events on my calendar... The type of show where I've asked someone "Are you going?" almost every week... This show was a fucking event: Hometown (well, Oakland!) Metal heroes headlining the premiere hometown venue on the final night of their current North American Tour. Umlaut loves this kinda shit!

In classic old school fashion, Umlaut met up with Old Metal Tim and Photo Ray at the nearby Benihana (Metal?) for a nice pre-show dinner and hang session. I'm pretty sure I hadn't been to a Benihana's since, like, high school... Afterwards we few, we happy few, made our way to The Fillmore.

Given the magnitude of the night, The Umlaut / Old Metal Nation was out in force.. so a shout out to Photo Ray, Old Metal Tim, Pam, Craig, Timo, Erik, Lisa, Quonsan, Jerry, Sven, Jenn, Scaparro, Joe, Nikki Blakk... and at least a couple of others who I'm spacing on right now (sorry guys...).

The Fillmore's floor and balcony were packed as Testament hit the stage and it was obvious they were going to have a great set when the crowd action erupted after the band had been onstage for literally 10 seconds... literally. They kicked off with 'The Preacher' and then things went into overdrive and by the set's 4th song, 'Over The Wall', the crowd action had hit its stride and kept going strong for the entire set. Nicely done, hometown! On the current tour, the band asked their fans in each city to vote online for what setlist they wanted to hear in their town.. so it looks like "Setlist C" won in S.F. and it was tight.

Unfortunately, the mix was rather muddy and the bottom end bounced around like a cannon ball in a rubber room up in the balcony.. Down on the floor it sounded better and the band rose to the occasion of their homecoming by charging through a spirited 90 minute set. I'm not alone when I say Alex Skolnick is my favorite Bay Area virtuoso Metal Guitar God (Sorry Kirk...) and it's always a treat watching him work his axe magic wielding his diverse musical powers. In the bigger picture, Testament are such a solid unit onstage in their current incarnation... and Chuck Billy is larger than life, man.

During 'Over The Wall'

It was cool to see such a large crowd out in force to support Testament's return. The show also lived up to expectations due to the healthy East Bay Old Metal vibe in the room, which of course meant a good number of thrown beers, dudes with neck tattoos, and a more even male / female ratio than alot of other Metal shows. I was kind of surprised I didn't hear anyone shout "RAAAIDEERS!".. but it is baseball season right now. I'm sure some of the East Bay Crew hit the first game of The Bay Bridge Series over at AT&T Park earlier in the evening before marching over to The Fillmore in time for the headliners... Too bad for them Lincecom shut the A's down.

THANKS to Old Metal Tim for sorting me as his +1.

Number of dudes manhandled out of the venue by security = 4. If you bought one of every Testament merch item you would have paid around $355. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. On another note, it was bullshit that The Fillmore didn't deem this show worthy of a poster, especially since it was a local Bay Area band who packed the place on this Friday night. Bullshit.

Spamalot

Monty Python's Spamalot
Golden Gate Theatre, San Francisco
June 11, 2009



As an awkward teenager, Monty Python was one of the biggest influences on my young mind and it helped to create the awkward adult that I am today; Python's t.v. show, movies, and albums are sacred shit to me. I used to watch the t.v. episodes religiously when they were broadcast on the local PBS station and Life Of Brian (Bwian!!) was the first R-rated movie I ever saw in a theater (my Dad took me to see it for my birthday and all of the humor went over his head..).. and Monty Python & the Holy Grail was a fixture of the midnight movies at The Varsity Theatre (R.I.P.) when I was in high school and staying out late on weekends.

Inexplicably, I've been procrastinating about seeing Spamalot for the past 2 months that it's been playing in San Franfuckincisco. WTF, right? However, due to the recent all out media blitz about the show ending it's S.F. run in early July, I finally pulled the trigger and bought tickets... 11th row center seats, dude!

Even as Skychick and I approached the venue, I was completely geeking out.. I was so "aware" that I even recognized the music being played as the audience was being seated as the incidental music from the closing credits of Python's t.v. show. Also, the show's program had the look and feel of one of the vintage Monty Python books from the 70's with wacky layout and inside jokes (a quick glance at the credits says the program was written and edited by Eric Idle.. natch!).

(Pic by Umlaut)

The San Francisco production stars John O'Hurley, who was J. Peterman on Seinfeld, and features a cast of 24 other actors and an orchestra / band (of course). Basically, Spamalot is based on Monty Python & the Holy Grail, with the movie's key scenes acting as the storyline. However, Spamalot also reimagines some the movie's scenes, storyline, and even characters and adds other elements (and SONGS!) to create SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! Python humor + Python show tunes = FUCKING AMAZING!

I can safely say I've seen Holy Grail more times than any other movie; I'm one of those freaks who knows every line in every scene by heart. The way Spamalot takes these familiar scenes and makes them new again is unbelievably gobsmacking great! The Broadway musical version of Holy Grail's Camelot scene left me speechless and teary-eyed from laughing ("What happens in Camelot, stays in Camelot.."). Other scenes and musical numbers include "I Am Not Dead Yet", "Find Your Grail", "The French Castle" (!!) and "The Killer Rabbit" (!!!). BEYOND hilarious... and the opening scene (that is not from the movie) is so out of left field that I could practically hear half of the audience saying "What the fuck??" and the other half (like myself) having a huge Python Geek Moment.

The show also incorporates a few other famous Python bits (such as 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life'), but it was also hilarious how they subtly added references to pop culture and current events into the show, such as The Knights Who Say Ni briefly riffing on California's current budget crisis; unexpected and brilliant! I wonder what bits the show adds to the jokes in other cities for those local audiences?!

Normally, Umlaut is more likely to see Celine Dion or Swedish Death Metal than a Broadway musical. Seeing a stage production like this is such a rare thing for Umlaut that I was easily caught up in the live orchestra, the set changes, the costume changes, and the clever special effects. All I can say is Spamalot was better than most of the concerts I'll see this year! The ACTORS.. the MUSIC... the COSTUMES... the STAGE PRODUCTION... the SPECTACLE.. (cue deep GIRLY sigh)! This show is easily one of my top Music Geek Moments of the year.. and as the cast was taking their bows I said to Skychick "I WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN!!"

In a brilliant display of merch insight, they are selling officially licensed cans of Spamalot Spam! Brilliant!


If you bought one of every Spamalot merch item you would have paid around $300. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Trivia: Iron Maiden plays 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life' after every concert as the houselights go up and the crowd leaves the show.

Kids These Days Don't Even Know

Back in The Day, man... back in The Day..



Thank Dog they interviewed Bruce Dickenson and not, like, Ron Keel.

Back In Black Metal On Metal

The exciting sequel to Metal On Metal, Forged In Fire, and 666! Anvil will be supporting AC/DC at their 2 massive East Coast stadium shows next month!

For Immediate Release-

HARD ROCK LEGENDS AC/DC TAP CANADIAN METAL BAND ANVIL OF THE CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILM “ANVIL! THE STORY OF ANVIL” AS OPENERS FOR JULY 28 SHOW AT GILLETTE STADIUM AND JULY 31 SHOW AT GIANTS STADIUM

New York, NY (June 8, 2009)- Based on the overwhelming response to and incredible buzz created by the critically acclaimed documentary “Anvil! The Story of Anvil,” the band has been chosen to fill the spot as opening act for rock legends AC/DC at their Gillette Stadium show on July 28th and their Giants Stadium show on July 31st. Anvil band members, Steve “Lips” Kudlow and Robb Reiner will see their dreams come true as they are set to open for one of the greatest hard rock bands in the world, AC/DC, for the two biggest shows on their Black Ice World Tour. This opportunity marks a stellar comeback for the 30 year-old band that continues to reach new heights with the success and continued expansion of their documentary and recent features in Newsweek and Rolling Stone.

“Anvil! The Story of Anvil” is the directorial debut of screenwriter Sacha Gervasi (“The Terminal”) and was produced by Rebecca Yeldham (“The Kite Runner” and “The Motorcycle Diaries”). The film follows Steve “Lips” Kudlow and Robb Reiner and their band, Anvil, which released one of the heaviest albums in metal history, 1982’s Metal on Metal. The album influenced an entire musical generation of rock bands, including Metallica, Slayer, and Anthrax, who all went on to sell millions of records. Anvil, on the other hand, took a different path—straight to obscurity. The film is both entertaining and touching as it follows their last-ditch quest for the fame and fortune that has been so elusive to them. “Anvil! The Story of Anvil” is a timeless tale of survival and the unadulterated passion it takes to follow your dream, year after year.

Praised as “The best documentary I’ve seen in years,” by documentarian Michael Moore, “Anvil! The Story of Anvil” contains appearances by an array of heavy metal icons, including Metallica’s Lars Ulrich, former member of Guns N’ Roses’ Slash, Anthrax’s Scott Ian, and Slayer’s Tom Araya, among others.

Celebrities unconnected to the film have rallied around it, urging their fans to see “Anvil” in theaters. Among them are: Ryan Gosling, Dustin Hoffman, Benji and Joel Madden of Good Charlotte, Maroon 5, John Mayer, Mandy Moore, Keanu Reeves, Morgan Spurlock, Steve-O, Chris Martin, Rob Thomas and Rainn Wilson.

“Anvil! The Story of Anvil,” currently playing in theaters, is distributed by VH1 in association with Abramorama. This fall, VH1 will release the film on television and DVD under its Emmy Award-winning “VH1 Rock Docs” franchise. VH1 has been heavily supporting the theatrical distribution by Abramorama with a network-wide, multi-platform promotional campaign.

AC/DC kicked off their Black Ice World Tour in late October 2008, crisscrossing North America and Europe garnering raves from critics along the way. The Black Ice World Tour was given the ‘Major Tour of the Year’ award at the 20th Annual Pollstar Concert Industry Awards.

Black Ice made history debuting at #1 on album charts in 29 countries and also has the distinction of being Columbia Records’ biggest debut album (since Nielsen SoundScan began tracking sales data in 1991). Black Ice has been certified Multi Platinum in eighteen countries, including the US, Australia, Canada, Switzerland, Sweden, Norway, Germany, France, Italy, Argentina and the Czech Republic.

Tickets are available via Ticketmaster and the band's website, www.acdc.com.

The 'Burbs

Death Angel
Voodoo Lounge, San Jose, CA
June 5, 2009

A year ago almost to the day, Death Angel played an epic homecoming show at Slim's that ranked as one of the best gigs I saw last year. Fast forward to now and things have changed dramatically for the band. First, there was the departure of original bassist Dennis Pepa earlier this year... but the band soldiered on with Sam Diosdado holding down the bottom end and they played a great set with Carcass in March. However, a couple of weeks ago another change was announced as original drummer Andy Galeon departed the band.

I'll be completely honest and say this latest news really took the wind out of my sails for Death Angel; Andy is one of favorite Metal drummers and it also magnified the fact that DA now only has 2 original members. Of course, bands change lineups and soldier on all the time, but DA's lineup has always been special because they were that gang of Filipino kids who were literally bonded by blood (For the newbies: All of the original DA members were cousins). The idea of seeing DA with 2 white guys in the lineup seemed.... odd.

According to the city's web site, San Jose's motto is now "The Fun Never Stops".. My response to that statement would be "When did "The Fun" begin??".. Discuss amongst yourselves. Given Death Angel's recent lineup change, I wasn't really looking forward to traveling back down to my old stomping grounds for this gig... and I was still haunted by the memories of my last visit to San Jose for a concert...

Prior to the show, Timo, Photo Ray, and I settled down at Gordon Biersch for a great pre-show hangout session... Then we few, we happy few, walked around the corner to the show. I'd never been to the Voodoo Lounge before and it was a pleasant surprise to discover it's a pretty cool venue. I was expecting a hole in the wall, but it's actually a large space with a nice bar and a good size stage and sound system... in San Jose!? Who woulda thunk?! Besides the impressive venue it was also nice to see a large crowd out for The Metal on this night as well.

I'll cut to the chase: I was wrong to doubt the band's ability to make the best of their recent changes; Death Angel still rules. The new lineup was TIGHT and they pulled out some old songs they haven't played since reforming. New drummer Will Carroll (Old Grandad, Scarecrow) was appropriately pounding and for the Old Metalheads: His playing reminded me of Nigel Glockler for some unexplained reason... and I haven't even thought about Nigel Glockler in years! One of the club's bartenders was wearing a Scarecrow shirt and he kinda went a little nuts when DA launched into 'Dethroned'... which was the best song of the set IMO... but the set closing classic ' Kill As One' (which the band launched into at 1:04AM) never fails to make me happy.

Metalheads in The Big City can be such snobs (guilty!), so this show was a nice reality check for Umlaut... Sometimes seeing a Metal show in The 'Burbs is the perfect thing since it's where most of the authentic Metalheads call home. It was also cool that besides Timo and Photo Ray there were other members of the Umlaut Nation in attendance like Metal CPA and Nikki Blakk; Nikki revealed that 107.7 The Bone Metal Zone is done with "magic" (!)...

There was an unusually large number of Motörhead shirts in the crowd. I didn't do a thorough merch audit, but I think it's safe to say that if you spent $140 you would have gone home with every Death Angel merch item. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Do you know the way to San Jose? Sometimes the road is paved with Metal..

No Class

A project that Umlaut brokered last year is finally hitting the streets this month:


Although this project was associated with a bullshit-riddled work situation (a situation that had NOTHING to do with Motörhead), I'm still VERY proud to have contributed to the band's legacy with this. It's also a nice compliment to THIS previous project on my resume. Anything for Lemmy, man.

Click HERE to see Hurley's entire Motörhead collection.

Mayhem

Mayhem
DNA Lounge, San Francisco
June 3, 2009

On the morning of this show I woke up in Las Vegas. However, I traveled back home on the Black Wings of Hell and was able to make it to the DNA in surgically precise fashion.

I don't know about bands in other genres, but it seems like underground European Metal bands have the most problems obtaining the proper visas to enter the United States of America. I don't know if it's due to poor document management on the band side or discrimination by the State Department, but it seems to happen quite often. The latest example is Swedish Metal legends Marduk, who were supposed to be on this tour but who never arrived in the States... a bummer since I believe the Swedes haven't visited this country in 8 years.

This year marks the 25th Anniversary of Mayhem. For the newbies: Mayhem are probably THE most infamous Metal band ever... It's funny that normal people would probably cite Marilyn Manson as a terrifying example of the evil of Metal, but Brian Warner's claim to darkness cannot compare to these moments in Mayhem's history (the following was stolen from Wiki since I'm too lazy to write it up myself right now):

On 8 April 1991, Dead committed suicide in the house owned by the band. He was found by Euronymous with slit wrists and a shotgun round to the head. Dead's suicide note read "Excuse all the blood" and included an apology for firing the weapon indoors. Instead of calling the police, Euronymous went to a nearby store and bought a disposable camera to photograph the corpse, after re-arranging some items.

On 10 August 1993, Varg Vikernes murdered guitarist Euronymous. On that night, Vikernes and Snorre Ruch travelled from Bergen to Euronymous’s apartment in Oslo. Upon their arrival a confrontation began, which ended when Vikernes fatally stabbed Euronymous. His body was found outside the apartment with twenty-three cut wounds – two to the head, five to the neck, and sixteen to the back. Vikernes claims that Euronymous had plotted to torture him to death and videotape the event – using a meeting about an unsigned contract as a pretext. On the night of the murder, Vikernes claims he intended to hand Euronymous the signed contract and "tell him to fuck off", but that Euronymous attacked him first. Additionally, Vikernes defends that most of Euronymous’s cut wounds were caused by broken glass he had fallen on during the struggle. Regardless of the circumstances, Vikernes was arrested within days, and a few months later he was sentenced to 21 years in prison for both the murder and church arsons.

Band suicide, murder, church burnings; Marilyn Manson is a pussy compared to the original members of Mayhem! You can laugh, but those original Mayhem dudes were the real deal when it came to their chosen music and lifestyle. For the newbies, you really should read the book Lords Of Chaos.

Fast forward to the 21st Century, and Necrobutcher (bass) is the only original member of Mayhem left, but the band's legacy is still a solid draw. There's an aura around Mayhem that few, if any, bands can match: At one time a murder victim AND his killer were in the band at the same time. How METAL is that!? This was Mayhem's first visit to S.F. in almost 10 years and the DNA was packed solid.

The anticipation before Mayhem hit the stage was thick enough to cut with a knife, so anticlimactic is an understatement when the band lurched into its first song and the volume level seemed to be on, like, "5" instead of "11".. It was so quiet I had a brief conversation with the person next to me and we could easily hear each other. I suspect the volume being less than 11 was due to the ongoing battle the DNA has been fighting with "regulation" authorities; this was the type of show where my clothes should have been vibrating from the volume.. Seriously... especially since legendary producer Billy Anderson is doing Mayhem's sound on this tour (Hail Billy!).

I'll cut to the chase and say that it took me at least 30 minutes to get into Mayhem's set... and after 90 minutes I was ready to go home. I could not get into Attila's frontman antics at all; at past shows on the tour he's performed in standard Black Metal makeup and in a badass retro SS uniform.. but in S.F. his stage attire was mainly centered around a noose that he used as a prop.... AND I usually have a hard time not laughing out loud when a Black Metal singer doesn't break character and talks to the crowd in his "METAL" voice.. Yes, I did laugh out loud when Attila addressed the crowd... a couple of times.



Is Umlaut a poser when it comes to Black Metal? Yes. When it comes down to it, I'm a product of a different generation of Metal... BUT I saw Venom and Mercyful Fate on their first visits to the States so my Metal Cred is too legit to quit.

It's always funny when there are hardcore Christian protesters at a Nine Inch Nails show, but when a band comes to town whose history includes actual warfare against Christianity (church burnings, outspoken blasphemy, etc.) there is not a Christian protesting anywhere. Discuss amongst yourselves.

THANKS to Photo Ray for sorting me as his +1 for the show. Rock Star sightings: Dave of Neurosis and Leila of Saros... and Jello stood within 3 feet of me at a show for the 5th time this year; he was also two-fisting his drinks tonight. Metal.

When I checked the merch table prior to their set, Mayhem only had dudes' shirts in SMALL and MEDIUM for sale!! WTF... They lost out on serious $$ of merch sales in S.F.; running out of XL shirts at a testosterone fueled Metal show like this!? In Nomine Satanas, that's ridiculous! On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Whoever is doing Mayhem's merch really should be slaughtered in a ritual sacrifice... I'm just saying.

Click HERE to see Taija's great photos from Mayhem's Orlando show.