23 Years Ago Today

It feels like it was a million years ago now, but THANKS to None But My Own for reminding Umlaut about this anniversary.

(From the Umlaut Archives)

Cliff.. always.

It Might Get Loud

It Might Get Loud just might be the greatest Music Geek film ever made...


The screening that Umlaut saw finished 3 hours ago and my mind is still freaking and geeking out over this film. Long story short: Director Davis Guggenheim put Jack White, The Edge, and Jimmy Fucking Page in the same room and they discussed their thoughts on not only their weapon of choice (the guitar) but also their struggles with creativity and their paths to becoming the Guitar Heroes of their respective generations. From this Music Geek's perspective, it's an unbelievably riveting and fascinating viewing experience. I don't want to spoil it too much for anybody who hasn't seen it yet, but the film portrays these iconic musicians, not only as gifted musicians, but also as Music Geeks just like you and me.

It's interesting hearing each guitarist discuss his approach to the instrument and to how they create music: The Edge is all about using modern technology and effects to push his musical envelope. Jack White only seems concerned with sinking his head into the long ago past to inspire his musical journey. Jimmy Fucking Page is simply the benevolent Guitar God who started playing before there was such a thing as Rock & Roll and whose musical journey is the most fascinating of them all because he didn't have a road map to follow.

Over my Music Geek career I've been a fan of both The Edge and Jack White at various times and I found their stories interesting... However, in the film both always pale in comparison to Jimmy Fucking Page. My favorite moments:

• The camera panning around and an electric guitar is heard being strummed... and then the camera focuses and it's Jimmy Fucking Page in his basement amidst his guitar collection playing 'Ramble On'... Chills, dude. Chills.
• Jimmy Fucking Page going through his RECORD COLLECTION, pulling out a Link Wray 45... putting it on his turntable... and then AIR GUITARING to 'Rumble'... Jimmy Fucking Page... air guitaring. Chills, dude. Chills.
• Jimmy Fucking Page returning to Headley Grange where they wrote and recorded the Zeppelin IV album and saying how the music seemed to come out of the air magically... songs like 'Stairway To Heaven'. Chills, dude.. Chills.
  

The unabashed joy in Jimmy Fucking Page's eyes as he talks about music and the guitar is awe inspiring.... and the look in the eyes of The Edge and Jack White as they watch Jimmy Fucking Page play is awe inspiring as well. You can see that, despite their own fame and success, they understand they are in the presence of THE Guitar God. In fact, every time a Zeppelin riff started playing in the film I got chills down my spine. However, the film also links these 3 guitarists as kindred spirits with various segments, such as when they each recount how they got their first guitar. Magical shit, man.

After the screening we found ourselves driving down Page Street in S.F.. Of course we did... The Rock Godz send their messages in obvious ways sometimes. This is one film that I will buy on DVD and watch again and again over the coming years to remind me what it is to be a Music Geek.

Jimmy Fucking Page.

OM

OM / Lichens
The Independent, San Francisco
September 24, 2009



According to the Umlaut Archives I saw Sleep at least a dozen times back in The Day. The problem I've had with OM is that no matter what they play, the original lineup of Al and Chris would ALWAYS be 2/3 of Sleep to me... and I simply couldn't get past that. However, now that Chris has reportedly retired from music and Al is working with new drummer Emil Amos, my interest in OM had come back *on* to see what new music Al would create with this new dynamic.

Long story short: Al and I go WAY back... so far back that I remember a time before Sleep... before he was even in a band... before he could buy alcohol legally. So, it was nice that we ran into him as soon as we entered the club and he graciously ushered us back to the dressing room and offered us exotic imported beer from the band's backstage bucket. What does Tecate mean in English anyway?

Umlaut > Al

At one point a guy who I didn't know came into the dressing room and apologized for having his bag next to me on the couch... which was not even a problem.. but he apologized and moved it anyway. Then out of the blue he and Al did a vocal warm up together and the guy headed towards the stage. After a moment I went out to watch Lichens... and realized "Lichens" was the guy who I'd just met backstage... DOH. I caught him mid-song while he was singing acapella and performing some trippy vocal gymnastics. I didn't really know what to make of it... and not to marginalize his performance because it was impressive and unique... but at that moment I went to the bar to get a beer.

As much as I'll always respect Al in his musical travels, OM has never connected with me. However, as Al took the stage with the new drummer and also Lichens (who sat behind a table at stage left with a keyboard, an electric guitar, and some other instruments) I was hopeful that this would be a more fully realized experience for me than the last time I saw OM. They were also joined by Lorraine Rath (who has worked with Amber Asylum in the past) on flute for a song or two.

I enjoyed the first part of the set but, since I'm not familiar with OM's material, I focused more on watching how Al interacted with this latest incarnation of his band.. OM's music isn't necessarily dark.. but it's not happy either... it's somber... serious... and maybe too serious for Umlaut.. After awhile, since I was up in the VIP balcony, I found myself looking down and watching most of the crowd bob their heads and sway to the trance vibe coming from the stage. It was all rather Hippie... and I'm not sure if I mean that in a bad or a good way.


One thing that struck me as I watched OM was that Al is a WAY more spiritual person than I am... and that translates into his music... but I'm in a different mindset and, while I did enjoy this set more than the last time I saw OM, I have to admit it didn't engage me. That being said, as I type this it's 1:00AM and I'm listening to OM's latest CD God Is Good for the first time and I'm feeling the music in this context and environment: Alone with my thoughts... typing these thoughts into words... nothing else.. Maybe this is the way I should listen to OM versus in a crowded club.

Anyway, as OM plays in the background, I must give thanks for spending the evening around Umlaut Nation friends / family... so a shout out to Timo, Lori, Sarah, Richard, Pam, Justin, Alan, and Jen.

No merch audit... but a CD cost $12. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. It was cool seeing OM at The Independent... For the newbies: Back in The Day the space was called The Kennel Club and Sleep played there many times... many.... times... good... times.

Grotus / Neurosis / Sleep
The Kennel Club - May 1992
(From the Umlaut Archives)

Stir Crazy

In Flames / Between The Buried And Me / 3 Inches Of Blood
The Regency Ballroom, San Francisco
September 21, 2009



A week ago Umlaut was struck down by an intense flu that had my insides boiling with a 101-102 degree fever for most of a night. After hours of fearing the worst, thankfully the fever broke by morning, so I did NOT have Swine Flu. Ironically, I was stricken during the longest lull between gigs that I've experienced all year. However, probably due to my sick time, after going gigless for 10 days I was starting to go stir crazy with that itchy feeling that I needed to see a Metal show... and any Metal show would do... So at the last minute I was able to make my way to The Regency for this bill although I can't say I was a fan of any of the bands going in... but it was cool to enter the venue and see it nicely packed on a Monday night. I was immediately glad that I left the house.

I completely missed the first band (sorry to The Faceless... not really impressed by your name though... just being honest..) but I've been wanting to see 3 Inches Of Blood (3IOB) for awhile but always missed them in the past. Oh man, I had an epic sense of deja vu during their set! These Canadians are like practically every band I followed in the early-80's down to their greasy long hair and denim vests... AND they have their very own doppelganger of James Hetfield circa 1985 on guitar / backing vox:

The guy's retro Hetfield look was tripping me out... From his stage clothes.. to his White V.. to how his hair was teased... to how he'd throw his head back and sing... all just like Hetfield in his youth.. The only thing missing was a singing voice.. but I digress. Despite the doppelganger, I liked 3IOB quite a bit and their retro Metal songs came across better live than on album... especially new tracks like 'Call Of The Hammer' and ' Battles And Brotherhood'. Musically the band are straight outta 1984-85 which isn't a bad thing at all in this day and age. Ironically, I've had the same conversation with various people (friends and record label peeps) recently about how *my* Metal (early-80's era) has been "discovered" by young bands and fans and it's translating into what alot of new bands are doing now. I find this really fascinating and may have to explore that subject in this space in the near future..

Anyway, back to the evening: Between The Buried And Me (BTBAM) have one of those long names that immediately makes me not take them seriously.. 5 words!? Ridiculous. I knew within 30 seconds of the band taking the stage that I wouldn't like them: The bassist held his bass high up in that Jazz musician way which is simply NOT METAL. Note to The Kidz: If you play bass and guitar in a METAL band you should wear your weapons slung LOW like a gunslinger. Otherwise you look like you're dry humping your instrument onstage... which is fine if you're in a Jazz band... but dry humping is NOT Metal. Also, the way the normal looking singer bounced around from the front of the stage to his KEYBOARDS made me want to swing a battle axe at his head. BTBAM made me realize I do not *get* The Kidz these days sometimes. They were AWFUL.. but The Kidz luv 'em. Hope I die before I get old.

After watching a couple of BTBAM's godawful songs and getting annoyed by how The Kidz were going off for them, Photo Ray and I retired to the empty lobby for a beer and conversation... where we also were able to say "Hey, man... Good set.." to 3IOB's bassist and guitarist.. However, we skillfully avoided the rookie mistake of attempting to take the conversation past the kudos stage. Note to The Kidz: When you randomly encounter a band at a show simply compliment them in a cool dude way... but attempt a real conversation at your own risk. However, if you're a chick... go for it.

I'm not a fan of In Flames, but The Kidz sure like them... This was around my 3rd time seeing the Swedes and I've only ever seen them because they've been on the bill with a band I want to see.. According to the Umlaut Archives the last time I was in the same room as In Flames was last November when they had their asses handed to them by Gojira at The Warfield.. Anyway, I can appreciate where they're coming from with their clean harmonized guitars that sometimes recall Thin Lizzy... but it doesn't work for me... but The Kidz sure luv 'em!

This was the type of B-Level Metal show where I knew I would not run into many, if any, Umlaut Nation members... but a shout out to Photo Ray, Nikki Blakk, and Photo Alan who were there doing their thing and keeping it real.

If you bought one of every 3 Inches Of Blood merch item you would have paid around $60. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. The Prius was docked back at Casa de Umlaut by 11:00PM and I was able to consume a late night sandwich before The Witching Hour. All in all an extremely routine night... but it was nice to get out.

Epic Tales

Around a year and a half ago, Umlaut created what I consider to be perhaps the greatest Mix (tape or CD) of my Music Geek career: EPIC TALES!

1. The Verse of The Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien (1952)
2. Kill The King - Rainbow (1978)
3. "Hell" from Gladiator
4. Iron Fist - Motörhead (1982)
5. "Dawn" from Excalibur
6. Die By The Sword - Slayer (1983)
7. "Never Late" from The Fellowship of The Ring ("FOTR")
8. The Wizard - Black Sabbath (1970)
9. "Ride Out" from The Two Towers
10. Power & The Glory - Saxon (1983)
11. "Arise Riders" from The Return Of The King ("ROTK")
12. The Trooper - Iron Maiden (1983)
13. "Hail" from ROTK
14. Glory Hunter - Armored Saint(1984)
15. "Pledge" from FOTR
16. Kings And Queens - Aerosmith (1977)
17. "What Is Best" from Conan The Barbarian ("Conan")
18. Freya - The Sword (2006)
19. "English" from Braveheart
20. Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin (1970)
21. "Steel" from Conan
22. Swords & Tequila - Riot (1981)
23. "Lancelot Love" from Excalibur
24. Forever My Queen - Pentagram (1973)
25. "They Shall Drown" from Conan
26. The Prince - Metallica (1988)
27. "Revenge" from Conan
28. Dark Avenger - Manowar with Orson Wells (1982)
29. "The End" from ROTK
30. A Farewell To Kings - Rush (Live 1978)

Obviously Epic Tales combines the things that shaped me most in my Salad Days: Classic Heavy Metal / Rock and Swords 'N Sorcery movies. Until now only a chosen few have heard this compilation... but now, thanks to modern technology, the Umlaut Nation can be inspired by it.

Click HERE to download the MP3s and track listing / cover art.

Enjoy... and understand that it's not hard to be epic in your own life... all you need is a swift steed, a sharp sword, and a stout heart.. and the ability to live in a retarded state of adulthood.

To be played at maximum volume... By order of The King!!

This Week In Music Geek

It's always special when something beautiful and unique arrives in Umlaut's mailbox.. and today was special! To coincide with Black Cobra's tour of Japan this month, Red Cobalt has issued a BEAUTIFUL reissue in Japan of the band's Bestial CD that was designed by Umlaut Nation friend Alan Forbes:


This is a super-deluxe limited edition import version of Black Cobra's Bestial CD. This release includes:

* Foldout / Matchbook style jacket with green foil stamping, circle die-cut on thick cardboard.
* All new art by Alan Forbes including the following: b/w 2 panel insert, full color 4 panel insert, 6 panel poster, and sticker.
* Vellum insert
* Limited to 1,000 copies due to cost of materials.

Includes track "Dragon And Phoenix" from the U.S. version of the Feather and Stone CD. This was not available on the previous Japanese version of Feather and Stone.

Track Listing:

1. One Nine
2. Thrown From Great Heights
3. El Equis
4. Beneath
5. Omniscient
6. The Cry Of Melora
7. Broken On The Wheel
8. Sugar Water
9. El Doce De Octubre
10. Sombra De Bestia
11. Kay-Dur-Twenty
12. Dragon And Phoenix

"Limited edition"... "Foil stamping"... "Die cut"... "Vellum insert".. Music Geek Porn! Can a man fall in love with a CD package? Yes.. yes he can.

In other news: Jason and Rafa just left for their invasion of Japan and Australia. Highlights will include sharing a bill in Tokyo with Coffins (!) and 4 dates Down Under with Nick Oliveri.

• Sep 19th - Tokyo, Japan @ Livehouse WALL w/ Slight Slappers
• Sep 20th - Nagoya, Japan @ Club Zion (as part of Deep Connect vol.47 Extreme Festival)
• Sep 21st - Osaka, Japan @ Fandango w/ Eternal Elysium
• Sep 22nd - Kyoto, Japan @ Socrates w/ Eternal Elysium
• Sep 23rd - Gifu, Japan @ 51 w/ Eternal Elysium
• Sep 26th - Yokohama, Japan @ Club 24 West w/ DOT(.)
• Sep 27th - Tokyo, Japan @ Earthdom w/ Melt Banana Lite & Coffins
• Sep 30th - Hobart, TAS Australia @ The Brisbane Hotel
• Oct 1st - Geelong, Victoria Australia @ The National Hotel
• Oct 2nd - Melbourne, Victoria Australia @ The Arthouse
• Oct 3rd - Adelaide, SA Australia @ Enigma Bar
• Oct 4th - Melbourne,Victoria Australia @ The Tote
• Oct 6th - Canberra, ACT Australia @ ANU Bar

with Nick Oliveri

• Oct 7th - Wollongong New South Wales Australia @ The Harp Hotel
• Oct 8th - Gold Coast, Queensland Australia @ The Del Plaza
• Oct 9th - Brisbane, Queensland Australia @ The Step In
• Oct 10th - Sydney, New South Wales Australia @ Hopetoun Hotel

The new Black Cobra album Chronomega drops on September 29th on the mighty Southern Lord Records and the lads will immediately march out on a U.S. Tour with Pelican.

• Oct 20th - The Marquis Theatre, Denver, Colorado
• Oct 21st - Club Vegas, Salt Lake City, Utah
• Oct 22nd - Neurolix, Boise, Idaho
• Oct 24th - El Corazon, Seattle, Washington
• Oct 25th - Hawthorne Theatre, Portland, Oregon
• Oct 27th - The Independent, San Francisco, California
• Oct 28th - The Troubador, Los Angeles, California
• Oct 29th - The Casbah, San Diego, California
• Oct 30th - The Clubhouse, Tempe, Arizona
• Nov 1st - Emo’s, Austin, Texas
• Nov 2nd - Granada Theatre, Dallas, Texas
• Nov 4th - Outland Ballroom, Springfield, Missouri
• Nov 5th - The Picador, Iowa City, Iowa
• Nov 28th - The Shelter, Detroit, Michigan
• Nov 29th - Soundlab, Buffalo, New York
• Dec 1st - First Unitarian Church, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
• Dec 3rd - Harper’s Ferry, Allston, Massachusetts
• Dec 4th - Rock and Roll Hotel, Washington DC
• Dec 5th - The Orange Peel, Asheville, North Carolina
• Dec 7th - The Earl, Atlanta, Georgia
• Dec 8th - Bottletree, Birmingham, Alabama
• Dec 9th - Cider House, Knoxville, Tennessee
• Dec 10th - Ravari Room, Columbus, Ohio
• Dec 11th - Empty Bottle, Chicago, Illinois

Umlaut couldn't be happier for Jason and Rafa... Go forth and conquer, my brothers!

Hometown Heroes

Metallica
A Benefit For Marin Rocks
Marin Veterans Memorial Auditorium, San Rafael, CA
September 11, 2009

It's been a pretty amazing year for Umlaut when it comes to Metallica. I came full circle with the band both as a friend and a fan which gave me a surreal sense of how life really can take you on weird adventures... If I hadn't met certain people 27 years ago... or if I'd gone to a different show 27 years ago... or if I'd listened to a different album 27 years ago.. or if I'd read a different music magazine 27 years ago.. I would not be in the place I am with Metallica today. For the newbies, click HERE for the back story on what I'm talking about.

This concert was a benefit for Marin Rocks, a local non-profit that plans to open a music center in Marin County to serve as a museum for the area's rich musical history (unfortunately alot of Hippie Shit, but that's cool I guess..) as well as a place that will serve to teach kids an appreciation of music and music history; a very noble and cool mission statement. It was cool that Metallica chose to support such a local cause since most of them reside in Marin and their families are part of the community.

Umlaut wasn't planning to attend the event due to the hefty benefit ticket prices, but The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways and a ticket came my way 48 hours before show time. Hail! Once I realized I would be attending, my Inner Teenage Metalhead started geeking out over (1) Metallica were playing in a small 1,960 seat venue (the smallest local venue they've played since their 2003 shows at The Fillmore) and (2) it would be a chance to see them on a regular stage versus the in-the-round stage they've toured arenas with for the past decade or so.

The tone for the evening was set as soon as we arrived in the parking lot: A dude literally chased us down to tell me that he and his buddy recognized me from back in The Old Metal Dayz... He then gave me a beer, so Timo and I hung out and chatted with them for awhile. Nice dudes... and in a twist of fate they were sitting directly behind me during the show! Metal.

We didn't want to watch the opening set by Moonalice, a band fronted by former Saturday Night Live / Hall & Oates / Bob Dylan guitarist GE Smith because they were definitely NOT METAL and it was *so* Marin that kind of band was opening, but whatever. Anyway, we hung out in the lobby bar and had some adventures there instead. It was a good decision since I ran into alot of friends and also met a couple of guys who had traveled from POLAND for the show.. POLAND! Crazy fans. Oh, a shout out to Timo, Photo Ray, Leah, Paschke, Vickie, Photo Alan, Tinman Bruce, Craig, Bret, and Harald O..

The mood in the lobby was so mellow that it was hard to remember this was a Metallica concert... I mean, you could buy COOKIES with your beer or wine at the bar.. Cookies with beer!? Yeah, I had a cookie with my Lagunitas IPA because I was starving.. but if this had been a Metallica show circa 1989 it would have been cookies with Jaeger.. I'm just saying. However, my mood quickly changed.

Umlaut had decided to wear his Anvil - 'Metal On Metal' shirt to the show just to see if anybody would acknowledge it since Anvil are the feel-good Metal story of the year. After purchasing my cookie and beer, a dude got my attention and told me my 'Metal On Metal' shirt was the best shirt he'd seen all day and said how he'd seen Anvil supporting Slayer in New Mexico in the 80's. Metal! Awhile later, I visited the Men's Room and fucking lo and behold but a dude directly in front of me in line was wearing... a 'Metal On Metal' shirt!!

Metal On Metal Twinsies

Hilarious, right!? We took a quick pic (for which the dude wanted to pose with his pipe) and then he proceeded to quiz me about Anvil! HaHa! "What's your favorite Anvil album??" When I answered honestly 'Metal On Metal'... He gave me one of those "Are you a poser??" looks and lectured me how Anvil's best albums were 'Forged In Fire' and 'Pound For Pound'... I defered to him.. but made it understood that I was, indeed, as Old Metal as him. After the show I spotted another dude wearing an Anvil shirt... but enough about Anvil.

When I found my 11th row seat, I was sitting next to a woman who was an über Metallica fan who had traveled from out of state. She told me almost right away this was her 18th Metallica concert... and then she asked me how many times I'd seen them. To be honest, I get uncomfortable interacting with über fans because sometimes they seem more concerned about bragging rights than anything else ("I'm a bigger fan than YOU...")... So I simply told her the truth: This was my 36th time seeing Metallica. She looked at me blankly for a second and said "Oh... wow.." However, she was wearing a shirt that said this on the back:

Metal.

There is no other band that I'm more jaded about than Metallica, but as soon as the houselights went down and the band's standard 'Ecstacy Of Gold' intro tape started my Inner Teenage Metalhead slammed aside my Inner Umlaut Adult and took over my psyche as the hometown heroes charged onstage with 'Creeping Death' > ' For Whom The Bell Tolls' to open..

Creeping Death!

Fuck yeah!! 'Creeping Death' is the band's quintessential opener.. and whenever they put the song in the opening slot it makes their set that much better IMO. The band played on a bare bones stage with only a backline and drum riser; it was just like the Ride The Lightning Tour sans even a stage backdrop. It was stunning to see the band without their usual Arena Rock trappings and for one gig it was just about THE MUSIC again and not The Big Rock Show. Given the relaxed hometown vibe of the night the entire band was noticeably loose and on fire... Dude, I'm serious, the vibe from the band was so much like 1985 I got chills down my spine a couple of times.

Now when I say the show was "like 1985" I don't necessarily mean they played only old songs; although the set was heavy on old classics the band also pounded out 'Fuel' and 2 songs from Death Magnetic.. What I mean is that they performed like it was The Old Dayz again.. On this night Metallica played with a fire and energy that echoed those long ago magical Metal times, and because of that the setlist was elevated to another level not because of the songs, but because of the performance. Metallica on this night were the mightiest band on the fucking planet.

• Creeping Death
• For Whom The Bell Tolls
• Fuel
• Harvester Of Sorrow
• Fade To Black
• Broken, Beat, and Scarred
• Cyanide
• Sad But True
• One
• Master Of Puppets
• Battery
• Nothing Else Matters
• Enter Sandman

• Hit The Lights
• Seek And Destroy

Something else that was profoundly amazing about the show was the band's sound. Normally Metallica has amazing live sound anyway, but within the small confines of this auditorium their sound was "crunchier" than at any other time I can remember since the Ride The Lightning Tour... Everything had more of a "bite" then the band's usual Arena Rock mix.. and, when you combined that with the fact the venue was basically the size of a college lecture hall and the band onstage was Metallica at the top of their game, it made for a special and epic night.

As I type this my voice is still hoarse from singing; I haven't sang along to Metallica in concert since Cliff Burton roamed The Earth, man... but it felt right to do it at this show. I can't say enough about how old school the vibe was in the room.. My favorite song of the night was the brutality of 'Harvester Of Sorrow'... "Anger... misery... you'll suffer unto me.. Harvester of Sorrow.... language of the mad..." Fuck yeah... but the sequence that sent things over the edge was the bludgeoning 1-2-3-4 punch of 'Sad But True' > 'One' > 'Master Of Puppets' > 'Battery'... Go ahead and read that again... I know, right?! Holy shit. The old school vibe of the night extended to Kirk's solo spot, where he included the riff from the Tygers Of Pan Tang song 'Tyger Bay'... NICE!

Speaking of The Lead Guitarist: His performance in Marin was even more on another level than the rest of the band.. His trademark solos were even tighter and his breaks during 'Master Of Puppets' and 'Battery' in particular really pulled those songs from the past and into the present as his solos seemed to be exorcising demons all over again for the first time. My Inner Teenage Metalhead almost lost it.

During the thunderous version of 'Enter Sandman' that closed the main set I finally admitted to myself that I've been in denial about Metallica for a long time. When it comes down to it I have to admit, more to myself than anyone else, that Metallica are my favorite band... I simply have too much history with them to deny it... Sad but true... and the next morning I had a very cool message exchange with The Lead Guitarist that only supported this epiphany. Also, I've gone off a couple of times in this post about how the show felt like it was 1985 again.. Well, The Lead Guitarist said that it felt the same way from the stage! So there you go; it wasn't just my imagination. Metal.

If you bought one of every event merch item you would have paid $240. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. They say a picture is worth a thousand words... so here are 1,000 words about how epic this show was (Thanks to Umlaut Nation friend Rob for sending this over!):

Marin Metal

After crossing the Golden Gate Bridge back into San Franfuckingcisco, Timo and I stopped at our go-to late night Mission stop Taqueria Cancun for much needed food. The night ended with fantastic parking karma, a typically excellent burrito, and then a quick run back to Casa de Umlaut.

Epilogue: Umlaut was woken up at around 4:00AM in the morning by a rare and unexpected thunder and lightning storm... The Rock Godz send their messages in mysterious ways sometimes. Cue Ride The Lightning.

Routine Metal

Obituary / Goatwhore / Krisiun
Slim's, San Francisco
September 10, 2009



Prior to the show Timo and I made a pre-Metal Show stop at The Irish Bank, which was unusually crowded with suits and tourists for a weeknight due to the day's heatwave weather. It was a routine visit to Umlaut's favorite fish 'n chips establishment... so let's move on.

Krisiun obliterated Slim's back in March and it was cool to see more people waiting to see them this time around. Man, Krisiun are total Road Dogs and have been on tour around the world from Brazil to Russia practically non-stop since the release of their latest album Southern Storm last Summer... and it looks like they won't be stopping until Christmas Day when they play a show in their Brazilian homeland. The fact they've been on the road for over a year was evident in how tight the 3 brothers are onstage... but it was cool how humble they are when addressing the crowd before brutal versions of songs like 'Slaying Steel'. Everything I said about Krisiun in this space back in March still rang true... When you see these 3 brothers from Brazil onstage the sense that the band is their only option in life is palpable.. and that survival instinct translates into everything they do. Krisiun are the real fucking deal, man.


In between bands I tried to do an audit of the dude-to-chick ratio and I couldn't count more than 11 chicks before the houselights went down... which, if my math is correct, made the dude-to-chick ratio about 18-1. You gotta like them odds, right ladies?

Goatwhore hit the stage with 2 older songs and I had that feeling of deja vu when the band had underwhelmed me several times in the past. However, from the 3rd song on their set consisted of songs from their excellent latest album (Carving Out The Eyes Of God) and the difference between the old and new songs was obvious. When they launched into new songs such as 'Apocalyptic Havoc' it showed that the band's improved songwriting and execution as musicians (especially Sammy on guitar) has taken them to a whole other level over the past couple of years. At one point Ben told the crowd that it was O.K. to download their new album, but to at least buy some merch to help support the band. A sympathetic fan standing next to me responded with "I only download porn!" Metal.

Goatwhore had an impressive range of merch for sale... and my Inner Metalhead was very tempted to support the band... but I asked myself "Will I really wear a shirt that says "Goatwhore" that often?"... and unfortunately my Inner Old Fart said "Uhhh, no... no you won't.."... so no merch purchases for Umlaut.. although I probably could have worn the shirt that said "Stay Sick, Stay Fuck, Hail Satan" while doing yardwork. Regrets. Hope I die before I get old.


After Goatwhore's blistering set I could have bailed and returned to Casa de Umlaut, since I was only there to see the middle bands. Next up were Florida Death Metal legends Obituary, and I'm man enough to admit I've never been into them. However, I got caught up in the crowd's excitement over the headliner and liked their sludgy and humid guitar tone which came across as very Southern to my ears. Also, Obituary probably had the silliest (in a good way) Metal stage backdrop that I'll see this year. It featured the cover art from their latest album:


Dragon? Check. Dude in armor swinging a big ass sword? Check. Dragon blood splatters? Check. Bats? Check. I was into their set for the first 4 songs or so... and then it all started sounding the same... so Photo Ray, Timo, and I had one more beverage before calling it a night.

Kids who gave me props for my General Surgery shirt = 1. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. This was a very routine night for Umlaut.. everything was surgically precise and I had the Prius docked back at Casa de Umlaut by around 11:30PM... but Metal's not just a job, it's an adventure.. even the routine nights.

Classic Rock

Umlaut Nation friend Bret sent over these action shots from this past week's Def Leppard / Poison / Cheap Trick shows:

Shoreline Amphitheatre
Mountain View, CA

A random fight down front being broken up during Cheap Trick's set:


The guy next to me (not pictured) was telling me in all seriousness how he was going to KILL the other guy if he came back, etc.. Can I please watch Cheap Trick's 40 minute set in peace????

Sleeptrain Amphitheatre
Marysville, CA

A bra from the previous show at the venue...


THANKS for the stellar photojournalism, Bret!

Umlaut did some research and the previous show in Marysville was... Nickelback. So there you go!

Head Like A Hole

Nine Inch Nails
Henry Fonda Theater, Los Angeles, CA
September 3, 2009

Umlaut and The Sheriff have talked about doing a road trip together for years. However, we were hard pressed to find a band who we shared a strong mutual fandom about to make travel plans over... The Sheriff: Pearl Jam... Umlaut: Slayer... Oil and water... Then in July an event was announced that seemed like a good enough opportunity to make this dream happen.

Trent Reznor announced a series of 10 "final" NIN club and small theater shows in NYC, Chicago, and L.A.. I've never been a huge NIN and have only seen them a handful of times over the years, but this sounded like a cool event and The Sheriff is a big NIN fan.. Plus the L.A. shows seemed easy. Tickets for these small shows went onsale via the NIN website only, so there was the expected online frenzy as fans worldwide vied for the golden tickets to these final appearances.

Long story short, we scored tickets to the 3rd to the last show at the Henry Fonda Theater... 1,300 capacity... The last time I was there was 5 years ago. Cool, right? I started to decide what I was going to wear to the show......

Then at 3:47AM on the day of the show I noticed I had text messages that led me to this announcement on the NIN web site:

9.3.09: No show tonight at Henry Fonda Theater

We're very sorry to announce that Trent is ill, and on his doctor's orders we will not be able to perform tonight's show at the Henry Fonda Theater. This is the only information we have at this time, we're posting this early announcement as a convenience for those of you who had plans to attend. Reimbursement details will be posted as soon as we figure them out; likely within the next 24 hours. We wish this wasn't necessary and we're very sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you for your understanding.

Oh well, obviously it wasn't meant to be. On the way back to bed, some imaginary pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Note to The Sheriff: Let's keep trying about this Road Trip thing, brother! Obviously The Rock Godz did not think this show was worthy for us.. and we must abide by their decision.