The Gauntlet

The Gauntlet is one of Umlaut's favorite Clint Eastwood movies and also Umlaut's favorite movie set in Phoenix.

The plot is completely ridiculous but the finale is oh so METAL! Yes, Umlaut owns The Gauntlet on DVD and as we boarded Southwest Flight 686 I imagined myself as Ben Shockley returning to Phoenix.

Ludicra / Black Hell / Landmine Marathon / Nightgaun
The Underground, Mesa, Arizona
April 28, 2010

The saga of Ludicra's U.S. Tour is one of THE Metal stories of 2010 and I ranted about it HERE. However, even before the drama unfolded, Photo Ray and Umlaut had already plotted to be in Arizona for this bill featuring not only the undisputed headliners of The Bay Area Metal Scene (LUDICRA!) but also the mighty LANDMINE MARATHON! The fact that 2 of my favorite bands were sharing a bill made this road trip a no-brainer. However, after Ludicra's misfortune, the trip became even more important for Umlaut to be there simply to show support for bands who mean alot to me. Muslims make the pilgrimage to Mecca. Christians trek to wherever the image of Jesus appears in the bark of a tree or on a piece of toast. Umlaut goes where his bands are... because Metal (and Music in general) is as close to religion as I've ever experienced.

To quote *that* band: "Let the music be your Master... will you heed the Master's call?"

Our hotel was right out of No Country For Old Men and I hoped I wouldn't be pulling a bullet out of my leg in bloody bath water later that night. From what I was told, The Underground was a legendary Phoenix-area venue back in The Day and the fact that it recently reopened is a big deal. Very cool. Tonight's show was being held in the venue's basement gig space (appropriately called "The Basement"). The only buzz kill (literally) was that the venue doesn't have a liquor license, so Umlaut had to figure out something else to do during the show with his right hand instead of holding a beer.....

When we showed up at the venue the bands were shocked (or freaked out) that we'd made the trek, but I guess they still don't know who they're dealing with... Umlaut comes from the generation of Metalheads who had to WORK for their Metal. I was the nerdy Metal kid in the pre-Internet days who took a bus to a BART station and spent 90 minutes traveling each way just to visit a record store that MIGHT have a new import only 7" single or album by one of my favorite bands. No... I never called record stores to ask them if they had something in stock... The trek was part of the adventure... and now that Umlaut lives in a retarded version of adulthood here in the 21st Century that same mindset translates into how I follow bands. In my Inner Teenage Metalhead mind, it's perfectly reasonable to travel 800 miles to see two of my favorite bands in a basement club in bumfuck Mesa, Arizona. However, I guess I probably should have called first... My bad.

Best Quotes:

• "What's San Francisco doing here??" - Christy of Ludicra
• "You guys are insane..." - Ryan of Landmine Marathon

Nightgaun: Nightgaun belongs in that fraternity of Hardcore bands who have been playing basement venues like The Underground since time began. To be honest I lost interest after a song or two... but I think I would have dug them more if I could have had a fucking beer in my right hand. Sorry dudes... I know I was on your turf.. but Umlaut was thirsty... but not miserable.

Landmine Marathon: It felt like it had been years since Umlaut's Big Adventure with Landmine in Ohio and Texas, but it had only been just over a month. Time is weird, man. Also, this was my 7th time seeing Landmine and I've had to take a plane to 6 of those shows. WTF... Dude, they FINALLY played 'Steadfast Hate' with Umlaut in the room! It was the best 7 minutes I've spent in Arizona to date. EPIC. The vibe of their set was different than the recent Landmine shows I've witnessed, which had been out of town showcase deals in foreign lands. The vibe at those was different simply because Landmine was on the road as their self-contained combat unit out to fuck with any and all comers. Tonight it was about them detonating in front of a hometown crowd of friends. The energy was different in that there wasn't that nervous violence I'd witnessed a month earlier; Grace didn't kick any dudes in the nuts tonight. Since this was the middle of the week and a school night, instead of being fueled by on tour combat rage this set seemed more about Landmine using their time onstage as a catharsis for the bullshit of their real world week; like 40 minutes of volume therapy. Everybody's workin' for the weekend! I've said it before in this space: It's been cool watching Landmine perform under so many different circumstances and witnessing them be consistent in channeling their demons (or whatever) into mayhem that feels comfortable to me. They're like a noose of barbed wire around my neck that's about to give me that blast of enlightening silence. Landmine will be marching out on a U.S. Tour in June / July and they are the type of band who are more dangerous when they're away from home... So get in the ring, motherfuckers!

Black Hell: It was funny that I recognized the drummer as also being in the Phoenix band Sorrower; I think Umlaut has been around too many Arizonians recently. I wasn't familiar with Black Hell prior to the show, but unfortunately this was their final show. It was obvious they meant alot to the locals and I liked their retro Rock sound, which featured some excellent dual leads (LIZZY!) and strong vocals. For lack of a better comparison, they were like a more sober version of Saviours. It's a bummer this was their final curtain call, but it was cool I got to witness it... but a bummer they didn't have any merch (CDs / vinyl) for sale.

Ludicra: This was the final show outside of California for Ludicra on their arduous 2010 U.S. Tour; only 36 days previously Umlaut had witnessed what was basically the first show of the tour when the band supported and wiped the stage with Pentagram. Whereas Landmine Marathon were in their hometown comfort zone tonight, Ludicra were deep in their on tour combat zone. I was interested to see how The Undisputed Headliners of The Bay Area Metal Scene were channeling the drama and daily grind of touring (27 shows in 27 days!!) into their performance; I got my answer as the first notes of 'Stagnant Pond' kicked the set off. Having seen Ludicra at least a dozen times at home, it was an epiphany of sorts watching them destroy a crowd in a foreign land. The Arizona crowd was in the palm of their hand from the start and many seemed to know the new songs. When they launched into an old song like 'Veils' it was as if a landmine (pun intended) had gone off in the small room as the new Ludicra did the Wonder Twin Powers thing with the old Ludicra. Fucking mind blowing... and the Arizona crowd got some really nice pit action going; I can't remember the last time there was a pit like the one in this basement at a Ludicra show in S.F.. The crowd also pressed down front and it was cute to see a pair of young Metal girls with their arms around each others shoulders raging in unison in front of Laurie. Man, after weeks on the road Ludicra are performing at a terrifying level of precision now. Even via a basement venue's PA Ludicra's music transcended the average and approached something larger. Ludicra are the type of band who could change your life; their music is that cerebral and that violent and that beautiful... and that terrifying. Listen to their albums... see them live... DONE.

Then it was over... Two of Umlaut's favorite bands... on the same bill... in the desert. All that had been missing was a fucking beer in my right hand. Cheers to Photo Ray and to Lilia for the shuttle service. Cheers to Ludicra for being such a terrifying force on and off stage. Cheers to Landmine Marathon for including me in their desert violence and for being Umlaut Nation friends. Oh, and cheers to Metal Val for keeping a secret.

Landmine Marathon ... 1/5 of Ludicra... Umlaut..

If you bought one of every Landmine merch item you would have paid around $80. On the way back to San Francisco, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags... which makes sense I guess. On the local news the next morning they announced that Shakira was arriving in Phoenix to protest Arizona's new immigration law. In the rental car the next morning, Phoenix Rock Radio 93.3 played 'Arizona' by the Scorpions and Klaus & Co. said it all: "Arizona really was a gas!" ... but not in the same way that Belsen was a gas for the Sex Pistols.. I hope.




Maybe The Gauntlet wasn't so far fetched after all! I need to watch it again...

Bonded By Blood +25

THANKS to Umlaut friend Invisible Oranges for reminding me that the album Bonded By Blood by Exodus was released 25 years ago yesterday (March 25, 1985). Time flies, right? For Umlaut, Bonded By Blood is THE album from those heady, bloody, drunken early days of The Bay Area Metal Scene. Not to be a nostalgic old fart, but those times defined who I am.....

Exodus were THE HEART of The Bay Area Metal Scene. Yeah, Metallica were the headliners but they also weren't originally from The Bay Area. Exodus were fucking 100% local! East Bay, motherfuckers! Long story short: Exodus meant ALOT to Umlaut back then and I spent ALOT of time at their gigs, hanging out with them, drinking with them, and just being METAL with them. Paul Baloff was a brother and Gary Holt is still a brother. When Bonded By Blood came out it meant more to alot of us than Kill 'Em All did simply because we'd spent so much time with Exodus leading up to the album. We were brothers AND sisters... bonded by blood.

Click HERE to see Umlaut's treasured memories of those METAL times. Yeah, and for the record, at least a couple of Umlaut's old photos are featured in the original Bonded By Blood packaging and I am honored to have my name in the liner notes.

Trivia: Umlaut was at the show that inspired the song 'Bonded By Blood'; it was at one of Exodus' many shows at Ruthie's Inn in Berkeley. During the show people had put drinking glasses on the stage and when Exodus commenced their mayhem some of the glasses were broken. As a result, people had their hands and arms cut on the broken glass and the front of the stage soon had blood smeared all over it. Then Baloff instructed the crowd to "sacrifice a poser" to him... and the crowd obliged by throwing some hapless kid onstage who landed at Baloff's feet. So, now when you read the lyrics to 'Bonded By Blood' appreciate how it was inspired by actual events... and also realize how pussy most Metal shows are here in the 21st Century.

Bonded By Blood probably sounds dated to alot of kidz here in the 21st Century who are into processed blast beats and who can get ANYTHING from their fucking computer keyboard. I simply hope people appreciate that Bonded By Blood is a time capsule from a time when Metal was still innocently underground (before Hair Metal changed the way the mainstream perceived Metal) and when it was also truly violent... and we (band and fans) were all just stupid pimply-faced kidz having fun. It was a time when you really had to WORK to be a Metalhead... to find that new band's demo... to find that band's new 7" single... to get to a show... and, to quote Exodus, to fight for what you believe to be right.... to crush with all your might... and to laugh at their pitiful cries. Hope I die before I get old.

HAIL Exodus... HAIL Bonded By Blood.... Rest In Peace Baloff.


Black magic rites on this black evil night
Begin with the slice of the blade
Metal and blood come together as one
Onlookers they gasp in dismay
Taste the sweet blood of one another
Sharing without any greed
Bang your head as if up from the dead
Intense metal is all that you need

Murder in the front row
Crowd begins to bang
And there's blood upon the stage
Bang your head against the stage
And metal takes its price
Bonded by blood

Metal takes hold death starts to unfold
It's loud like the worlds at an end
You're in a blood fury the metal won't stop
Onlookers they bang at command
Cutting your palm and drinking your blood
The power that few others dare
You feed the need to go out and kill
The same need that your blood brother shares

Murder in the front row crowd begins to bang
And there's blood upon the stage
Bang your head against the stage
And metal takes its price
Bonded by blood

Overkill... Literally..

Overkill / Vader / God Dethroned / Warbringer / Evile
The Regency, San Francisco
April 18, 2010


This was a weird concert lineup for Umlaut. Although the headliner is from *my* generation of Metal, I can't say that I've ever been a fan of Overkill. Full disclosure: When Overkill were starting up my head was starting to get out of Metal. Sad but true, but that's what happened to Umlaut. For around a 5 year period I turned my back on Metal and listened to alot of other Music. Of course, those years made Umlaut a MUCH more educated Music Geek; I can quote Bob Dylan AND Slayer lyrics at the drop of a hat equally well. However, once my Music Geek education was advanced enough, The Rock Godz led me back to METAL, but that's a story for another time. So, in hindsight, I have no regrets that I didn't see Overkill at The Stone in 1986 or whenever.

This was also one of those Metal package tours that are the industry standard now.. Which generally means too many bands playing sets that are too short. Tonight it was 5 bands with the first 4 allotted a paltry 30 minutes onstage while the headliner got 90 minutes. I know it's about economics, but I miss having 3 quality bands on a bill playing decent sets versus the talent show / battle of the bands lineups. Another thing these package tours take away is the Music Geek tradition of geeking out over the bands' equipment as they switch over between sets since everyone (except the headliner) uses the same backline. Although Umlaut friend Dave and I managed to make the best of it (noting the pentagram grill on the Peavey cabinets, etc. etc.) I had to be the buzz kill and tell him that ALL the support bands were using the same backline. Sorry, Dave. Anyway..........

Evile (England): To be honest, I don't know much about Evile other than their debut album was produced by Flemming Rasmussen and their bassist had passed away suddenly 6 months ago. They play solid retro Thrash Metal, but to be honest after 3 songs I was done and went to the lobby for a beer and meet up with some friends. For the newbies: You will find that Umlaut can be a very jaded Metalhead and I won't sugar coat that; sometimes I'm just not into watching a band after a certain point. It doesn't mean I think the band sucks (and I'd say so if I did), it's just how I keep my sanity by not forcing myself to watch something that I'm not engaged in. Sorry Evile, just being honest.

Warbringer (Southern California): Ironically, Warbringer were the band I wanted to see the most on the bill. Umlaut isn't really into Thrash Metal anymore (I'm more of a Doom / Death guy now..) because it sounds dated to me most of the time; it makes jaded Umlaut say "been there, done that". I have a hard time getting into the new bands who are recreating that sound, but Warbringer and a couple of other new bands (specifically 3 Inches Of Blood) do the retro thing well and I do dig them. Umlaut has listened to the their latest Waking Into Nightmares CD quite a bit and I keep hearing Death Angel in it, which is a good thing of course. Before Warbringer came out they inexplicably played 'Maggie's Farm' by Bob Fuckin' Dylan over the PA... Come on! Throw the horns with me! Anyway, Warbringer brought a strong set and the band has obviously watched all the right old Metal videos which translates into how they work a stage. At first I was getting annoyed by John's front man posing and the fact drummer Nic was using a click track via headphones to keep time... but I reminded myself these were just kidz onstage and I was watching them through jaded Umlaut eyes. Once I made that attitude adjustment it was all good. 'Prey For Death' absolutely killed live and at the end of their set, guitarist John jumped down into the photo pit to rage with the front row and vocalist John dove into the crowd:

Nicely done, lads. OH! During Warbringer's set a pair of skinny, probably 14-year old boys were standing next to me at the edge of The Pit gawking at the crowd action. One of them wanted to join The Pit so bad but he couldn't get his timing right to join in the mosh. Kid, you can't "wait" for The Pit to let you in! You just have to fucking GO!! At one point he turned to his buddy and I could see he was frustrated, but his buddy was a pussy and wasn't going to join him. When the kid turned back towards The Pit a 200 pound dude slammed into him. CUTE! Poor kid... don't take drugs.

God Dethroned (Holland): I was hanging in the lobby with friends when the Dutch took the stage.. They had already played a song and I was about to head back in to watch them when Photo Ray returned from the photo pit and said "One of the dudes is wearing a polo shirt..." That was reason enough for Umlaut to stay in the lobby with a beer and his friends. Sorry God Dethroned. One of the things Umlaut can't abide is a Metal band wearing polo shirts onstage.

Vader (Poland): As much as I like Vader, I've always been dubious about a band naming themselves after a Star Wars character, especially such an obvious one. Maybe Sarlaac was already taken?? However, I cut Vader slack because they have delivered the appropriate darkness that behooves that name. The Poles took the stage and their Eastern European Death Metal was EXACTLY what I wanted here in the 21st Century. Vader's most recent album Necropolis was in rotation on Umlaut's playlist after its release last Summer. Vader reminded me why, despite my wider Music Geek base, I will ultimately always bleed Metal. Dense and bludgeoning riffs speak straight to my soul. Vader are one of those bands who have been around so long that, aside from Peter, they've had too many members for Umlaut to keep track of and I'm not even going to try at this point. Anyway, with Peter leading the band as always, I think the lead guitarist on this tour is a dude named Marco and he brought the volume in a very workmanlike way. It was also nice to see the drummer (who I assume was Paul) bringing the thunder without the use of a click track like the youngster in Warbringer. During their set security shut a guy down for lighting up a bowl down front... and THEN THEY KICKED HIM OUT!!? WTF Regency Security!? I thought this was San Franfuckincisco!?? Way to harsh The Metal, man. We're NOT fuckin' Hippies! Anyway, despite the buzz kill, Vader owned the stage and wiped the floor with the rest of the bill. How do you say "buzz kill" in Polish?

Overkill (New Jersey): As I said earlier, by the time Overkill were hitting The Metal Scene in the mid-80's I was just starting my hiatus from Metal and was more likely to be found at a Jesus & Mary Chain show. Before they came on, Umlaut was back in the lobby when Dave came up and said "You gotta see this...." We followed him back into the venue and The Jersey Boyz had a rather silly stage that was a bit much for The Regency: ramps, stairs, strobe towers. I don't mean to be a dick because I understand this is the band's 25th Anniversary Tour, but if you took away some of props you might have been able to knock a couple of bucks off the ticket price and gotten a bigger crowd in the house. Just saying. Anyway, when the lights went down and the smoke machine kicked in it was the 80's all over again. The veteran band did sound and perform good... but I have to be honest and say vintage Thrash Metal sounds so dated to Umlaut and, in all honesty, it makes me feel old. It really does. Aside from a couple of key Thrash albums from that era, I feel no nostalgia for it...


Anyway, after 4 songs I headed out the door and back into the 21st Century. Evidently the final song of Overkill's set was.... their cover of.... 'Overkill' by Motörhead. Cheeky.

Over the past month, the Metal shows on Umlaut's calendar have featured some pretty great hang sessions with friends. In the past Umlaut has been more surgically precise with shows and the social aspect has been minimal. This evening turned out to be ALOT more fun than I thought it was going to be because it was a perfect balance of a couple of bands who I genuinely like and having members of the Umlaut Nation in the house to shoot the shit with... So a quick shout out to Timo, Dave, Photo Ray, Nikki Blakk, Sven, HRC, Taylor, and Alan.

Warbringer had 4 shirts for sale but only had them in size SMALL... Ooops. (Merch 101: Metal bands should ALWAYS have plenty of size XL in stock... 'cause alot of BIG BOYZ listen to Metal..). If you bought one of every Overkill merch item you would have paid $253 and if you bought one of every Vader merch item you would have paid $105. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. The next morning Alan told me that Jeff Walker of Carcass had been at the show! WTF!? He was stranded in the U.S. after his brief tour with Brujeria because of the Icelandic volcano eruption. That whole volcano thing is pretty METAL, right?

Weather Report

The Dead Weather
The Fillmore, San Francisco
April 15, 2010

Hmm... The last time Jack White and I were in The Fillmore together was back in June 2002 when The White Stripes were there. I must have been on a guest list because I don't have a ticket stub from that gig in the Umlaut Archives, but I do have the poster:


The last time Alison Mosshart and I were in The Fillmore together was last May when The Kills were there. Regretfully, I wasn't able to see The Dead Weather's San Francisco debut last Summer at the Outside Lands Festival. Remember when The White Stripes and The Kills only had enough S.F. fans to play at Bottom of the Hill? Me too.

This show marked a rare concert appearance by Skychick, who has been a way bigger fan of The Dead Weather CD than Umlaut; she has it memorized and I could only admit to liking 1/2 of the disc. In fact, she had to remind me when we arrived at The Fillmore that Jack White plays DRUMS in Dead Weather. IT'S TRUE! Yeah, I've had my head into Metal WAY too much lately.


Several trusted Music Geek friends had already seen The Dead Weather and raved about them live... so something in the back of my head suspected the following might happen: The houselights went down at exactly 9:15 and over the next 90 minutes I became fanatical about the band. The songs that I didn't *get* from listening to the CD finally clicked in my head... Dear Dead Weather, please be gentle pulling the hook out of my mouth.

Dead Weather being called a "super group" is silly to me because (aside from Jack White) it's not a collection of iconic musicians like Shrinebuilder or Damn Yankees... I mean, the band is made up of the boy 1/2 of The White Stripes, the girl 1/2 of The Kills, the guy with glasses from The Raconteurs, and one of the recent guys in Queens Of The Stone Age. That doesn't add up to a "super group" with my math and I'm Asian! However, onstage The Dead Weather prove themselves to be a legitimately great band with enough intense mojo to make them special. It's not often that Umlaut's jaded Music Geek senses are blown away... but they were on this Thursday night in San Franfuckincisco.

The band's staging was predictably dark, but with blue instead of black.. which made the ambiance of the set even more compelling especially when combined with the requisite smoke machine.


They played in blue shadows most of the night, which fit the music and the controlled fury onstage. Despite the draw of Jack White, it was immediately obvious that Alison is the star of this band. I've always thought that when I've seen The Kills she would be amazing fronting a traditional Rock band (guitar, bass, drums) and now that image has become reality. Alison is a true Rock Star and she has a swagger and confidence that only dudes usually display in bands... Stalking the stage with a fag in her mouth... Standing on the monitors to reign over the audience like a Rock God(dess)... Playing a guitar and looking like a guitarist and not simply a girl posing with a guitar. She's a street walkin' cheetah with a heart full of napalm personified. Watching her transfix the sold out Fillmore crowd reminded me of seeing Robert Plant & Alison Krauss a couple of years ago and witnessing that audience realizing the magnitude of Krauss' talent. Just as most people went to see Plant and left enthralled by Krauss, I would bet alot of the crowd at The Fillmore were there because of Jack White but left enthralled by Mosshart... AND isn't it Music Geek ironic that BOTH women are named ALISON!? The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways.

Full disclosure time: As much as the band had me mesmerized, much of the crowd annoyed me. I was surrounded by normal people... hipster normal people... old hippie older people... normal people. I've had my head into Metal WAY too much lately, but when I'm in a Metal crowd I generally feel like I'm with my people. I didn't feel that at Dead Weather... BUT I wasn't there to make friends, right? I was there for THE MUSIC. However, I will say that I came close to punching a guy behind us who got very excited when Jack White first put on a guitar for a song.... and then he fucking TALKED about Jack White playing the guitar for almost that entire song. WTF, man!? Why are you even here??

Anyway, Umlaut's Music Geek friends will be proud of me for this observation: Both Alison and Jack played a style of guitar associated with the great Bo Diddley. Allison playing a rectangular Gretsch and Jack a version of Diddley's custom "Cadillac" guitar.

Someone throw me the horns already! The Geeks shall inherit The Earth. Anyway back to the performance...

So, the band's set mirrored the album by opening with '60 Feet Tall' and it was one of those performances where I was enthralled by how fluid the band played together and how they weaved an air of mystery about themselves. However, instead of being completely aloof, they managed to remain engaged and not distant from the audience. Also, while White was mainly stationed behind the drums, he did play guitar on a couple of songs... and at least a pair of new songs were played as well that fit right in with the current... but the groove Dead Weather dug themselves into during 'So Far From Your Weapon' was especially badass. It was such a deep groove you could have driven a BART train through it.

Despite my annoyances with some of the crowd, this will go down as one of Umlaut's favorite shows of the year. Jack White is obviously a student of Music history, and when he acknowledged The Fillmore a couple of times during the night it seemed genuine. However, the traditional post-show giveaway Fillmore poster was NOT done for these Dead Weather shows! WTFBOO!! BUT you could buy a poster printed by the band commemorating the show at the merch table. That Jack White knows the music AND the business, man. Respect.

Slayer hoodies = 1. If you bought one of every Dead Weather merch item you would have paid $190. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. I know Doom Metal purists will be outraged, but I fucking dig the fact that The Dead Weather covered Pentagram. It's only available on a cool iTunes digital EP that features live tracks and video and also on a limited edition 7" single via Jack White's label Third Man Records:

(From the Umlaut Archives)

It's an inspired cover IMO. They could easily have picked a more obvious song or band, ya know? Me likey... and they definitely play it better than Pentagram did last month in San Franfuckincisco.

Midlife Crisis

Faith No More / El Camino High School Cheerleaders / White Trash Debutantes
The Warfield, San Francisco
April 14, 2010

Yeah, Faith No More are another legendary band from the San Franfuckincisco Bay Area and personally Umlaut was obsessed with their Angel Dust album when it came out. However, I hadn't seen Faith No More in almost 18 years (!) and I'd never seen them without Jim Martin in the band. The last time I saw FNM:

Angel Dust Tour
(From the Umlaut Archives)

Fast forward to the 21st Century and I have to say that in the years since the Angel Dust album and Martin's departure I've been way more interested in Mike Patton's solo projects (Yes, Fantômas, but especially Mr. Bungle and Tomahawk). On the flipside, Billy Gould has been known to attend events at Casa de Umlaut:

Case de Umlaut Holiday Party ~ 2000

This was the final night of FNM's triumphant 3 night stand in their hometown, which were also their 1st U.S. shows in 12 years. Kinda cool, right? Tickets for the shows sold out immediately and were going for around 3x face online. However, people were dumping extra tics for ½ face value out front before the show. Lesson: Greed doesn’t pay, dude. So, I guess there are still alot of folks who still give a shit about FNM and alot of folks traveled from out of state (Hi Umlaut friends Val, Tim, and Jessica from the 480!).

All of the old bands coming back from the dead is eerie. However, unlike Alice In Chains who have breathed new life into their legacy or Saint Vitus who validated their legendary status, FNM's resurrection seems more about cashing in on nostalgia than anything else. Sorry, just being honest. This is fine, but FNM nostalgia isn't something I'm invested in so I went into the show feeling like I was about to see someone I knew 18 years ago and hadn't thought about in years.

Each night of FNM's Warfield stand was hosted by the perfectly inappropriate Neil Hamburger and featured different eclectic opening acts. If you haven't experienced Hamburger's act I won't go into it here, but when he opened for Tenacious D. in S.F. several years back he was pelted with coins, etc. thrown by the crowd. Tonight's other acts were the White Trash Debutantes and the El Camino High School cheerleading squad (!). Yep, a band fronted by a tranny and cheerleaders! Only in San Franfuckincisco. The White Trash Debutantes (or at least Ginger Coyote on vocals) have been around FOREVER and Umlaut has worked with at least 2 former members. It was a bit sad that no one around me seemed to recognize their covers of 'Time Warp' from Rocky Horror or L7's 'Shitlist'... and, uh, yeah... they were followed by around 20 high school cheerleaders who did their cheerleading thang. I didn't envy the press photographers as they struggled with the moral implications of how to photograph underage girls like that... of course they didn’t have to be taking photos at all…. Just saying.

Faith No More... It’s still kinda weird to me that they've become so revered over the decade+ they've been inactive; I suppose alot of people have seen the video for 'Epic' over and over on VH1 Classic in that time. Of course, all of FNM are solid musicians but as far as a live entity it's all about Mike Patton onstage. Whether it’s a clever schtick or not, their ironic cover versions of pop songs probably seem edgy to the masses who are used to more formulaic setlists. Peaches & Herb's 'Reunited' opened the set and launched straight into 'From Out Of Nowhere', which I’ve always liked as a FNM set opener. The song also featured Patton tossing his mic stand into the crowd old school style and diving into the crowd. It was a good start to a 2 hour set that ultimately lost steam for me as the night progressed. The opening of 'Epic' emerged from a wall of feedback and noise, which was promising... but the band's biggest hit sounded tepid and anything but epic. Heavy S.F. rotation in the 80's was 'Lights' by Journey... Heavy S.F. rotation in the 90's was 'Epic' by Faith No More... but at least they played 'Midlife Crisis' (my fave track off Angel Dust).

In all honesty this was the perfect show to display just how much of a jaded mofo Umlaut can be now. When Patton climbed onto the speakers at stage right and dramatically leaped into the crowd it was cool... but I couldn't help thinking back on an epic Mr. Bungle show on New Year's Eve 1992 (with the Melvins supporting) when someone gave Patton a rose and he dropped his pants and stuck the rose up his ass stem first, thorns and all. I couldn't help imagining how that stunt would have gone over here in 2010 in front of a nostalgic FNM crowd. Probably not as well as Patton landing on their heads and sweating on them.

The high point of the night came as the encores started and original singer Chuck Mosley casually wandered onstage with the band for the first time in over 20 years. It was the perfect hometown thing to do, even if it teetered on being a train wreck with Mosley struggling with both singing and the lyrics. However, the band managed to hold it together for 4 songs from the 1st album. Most of the crowd around me didn't seem to know FNM had an original singer, except for a guy next to me who just about shit his pants when Chuck walked out and he immediately screamed like a little school girl (LITERALLY) and left his girlfriend without a word and bolted towards the stage. His girlfriend ordered a beer from a passing waitress and didn't seem to mind. Nice. The show closed with ‘Introduce Yourself’ featuring both Mosley and Patton on vocals and it was funny how they still said “JIM!” in the song.

The Bay Area vibe was thick in air of course and the Umlaut Nation was nicely represented (Quick shout outs to Timo, Photo Ray, Paschke, Secret Serpents, Wexford Girl, The Bassist, HRC, Nikki Blakk, Billy, Taylor, and the 480 Crue..) . When I was standing in the lobby in between acts 2 different guys walked up to me and shook my hand like they knew me but I couldn't place them. SORRY, guys... If you're reading this shoot me an e-mail.

Number of Ludicra shirts = 1 (mine). If you bought one of every FNM merch item you would have paid around $235. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Yeah, I don’t know man. All of these 90’s bands coming back to life… Next up: Soundgarden. Thankfully Nirvana is safely buried, but I’m still holding out for L7 or at least Tad.

Talking 'Bout My Generation

Orchid
Thee Parkside, San Francisco
April 11, 2010

It was a Sunday night and the amount of rain falling on San Franfuckincisco was Biblical... but I still floated the Prius to Thee Parkside, which is oddly starting to become one of my favorite local venues these days.


I wasn't expecting much from tonight and only wanted to see Orchid, who were first on the bill and due to go on at 8:30pm (Sorry Slough Feg and Bible Of The Devil who were also on the bill..). I was expecting to be back inside the warm and dry confines of Casa de Umlaut early. However, not long after arriving I found myself with a beer in hand chatting to Mark of Orchid, Photo Ray, Scott, and Leah (who Umlaut has known since the Reagan Administration!) and the vibe of the evening became special. Another pleasant surprise was how nicely Thee Parkside filled up early for Orchid's set. It was storming outside, but inside the club it felt cozy. The Scene.

Indeed, Orchid's sound is unashamedly Sabbath but I've realized what sets Orchid apart from most of the other local bands is their veteran musicianship and sense of style (for lack of a better term). Like Umlaut, Orchid grew up and were influenced by a time when real Rock Stars roamed The Earth and when you discovered music by listening to an AM radio late at night in your bedroom. Mark channels every 70's guitar god, Theo channels every 70's front man, Carter channels every 70's Rock drummer, Nickel channels every 70's Rock bassist... and Orchid as a band channels every 70's Arena Rock band. Bad company 'til the day they die.

(Pic courtesy of Photo Ray)

Perhaps fueled by all the family and friends who were in the house, Orchid seemed to be playing on a special level tonight. They were in a groove from the first song and it was something that Orchid veteran Photo Ray noted as well. At one point, as Mark held a note that teetered on going over the edge into feedback he looked over at the rest of the band, Theo stomped his foot, and Carter and Nickel kicked in with their bottom end stomp... and Mark's Hand of Doom blasted off into a solo that reached back into time. Dude, where's the bong?? The set closing 'No One Makes A Sound' was really, really epic.


Umlaut is an Old Fart and Orchid, along with those other local retro heroes Saviours and Drunk Horse, are the bridge between *my* world and the rest of the local Metal Scene. The 70's Rock shit is in my blood because it's what changed my life in my pre-teen years listening to an AM radio late at night in my bedroom in ancient times. Humble Pie is as much a part of my DNA as Celtic Frost, man. Talking 'bout my ge-ge-generation.

Vid by Umlaut

Originally I was going to bail right after Orchid's set but, with the rain falling heavily on the tin roof of Thee Parkside's outside patio, it felt better to get another beer and wait the storm out. So, for the second time in a week, I found myself having an epic hang session on the club's patio shooting the shit with kindred Music Geek spirits. Very cool. Anytime when The Faces AND The Sisters Of Mercy come up in the same conversation it's special to me, man.

Again, apologies to Slough Feg and Bible Of The Devil for blowing them off, but the hang time was too precious. However, at one point when Bible Of The Devil were onstage I noted how they sounded like Thin Lizzy. When I ducked inside to check them out for a minute they launched into a decent cover of Lizzy's 'Hollywood'. Nicely done, guys. Talking 'bout my ge-ge-generation.

If you bought one of every Orchid merch item you would have paid $40 (I think). On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Rain, rain, rain... and as I'm typing this it's 10:45pm and the sump pump in the crawl space underneath Casa de Umlaut is making a funny noise... am I gonna have to go down there? Uh... yeah I do. Hope I die before I get old... 'til the day I die.

25 Years Ago Today

Slayer blew Venom off the stage that night in San Franfuckincisco...

(From the Umlaut Archives)

Rich Hellhound remembered that day in THIS post:

When I saw Venom at the Kabuki Theater in S.F. (with Slayer in '84?), there were a couple of Skinheads harassing Metalheads in the underground parking lot after the show. They were stereotype 'Skins; no shirts, suspenders, Doc Martens, etc., and one was trying to arrange a fight between his buddy (who stood in classic boxer pose, and never said anything) and whichever passing Metalhead would accept the challenge. The "sales pitch" was pretty amusing; it went something like "Just you and him, one on one," repeated over and over. In fact, I think that's literally all the guy said.

Granted my friends and I only paused for a moment to watch one of the exchanges, but I never actually saw a fight. They were still attempting to start something as we drove away. I remember wondering at the time if it wasn't all planned (Skinhead One: "Hey, there's a Metal show at the Kabuki." Skinhead Two: "Cool, let's hang out in the parking lot after the show lets out, and kick some Dirt Head ass!").

Perhaps (and this is a far more interesting theory), there is some sort of cosmic connection between Venom and Skinheads; an ancient, eternal battle that has raged for centuries. For surely the Black Metal Gods must have their adversaries, and would not this nemesis be the polar opposite of the mighty, long-haired warriors?

Oh, and Venom did suck live. I remember being pissed at how Cronos "altered" Countess Bathory (my fave Venom song at the time), so he could sing and play it at the same time. Most of the time he was singing, he wasn't really even playing (just holding chords, as if it were a guitar). Cronos was being spit on repeatedly, and at one point yelled at the crowd, "See that lighting rig up there? If you don't stop spitting it's coming right down on your fucking heads!" I also remember Mantas' lame Karate kicks at the end of the show.

Two Nights

Light This City / The Funeral Pyre / Early Graves
Thee Parkside, San Francisco
April 8, 2010


I had met The Funeral Pyre at SXSW last month and it's always cool to reconnect with people who you meet while on tour... You meet some really amazing people on The Road. It was a nice touch that the Will Call guy knew who I was and already looking for my name on the list before I even said anything. Thanks, dude! The Scene.

During Early Graves set I thought to myself "I went to a Metal show... and I'm watching a Punk show." They're not really my thing... you silly Metalcore kidz... but the girlz in the crowd were sporting some very stylish handbags and purses. The Funeral Pyre wanted the stage lights to be dimmed, but that's not how Thee Parkside rolls and it was either lights on or lights off; they chose the latter. They opened with 3 new substance abuse-fueled songs that worked well in the darkness. Judging by her reaction, the girl standing next to me with the denim vest and Mayhem back patch agreed. However, she was NOT sporting a very stylish handbag or purse.

I didn't watch any of Light This City. Sorry kidz... I heard this was your final tour. Bummer. After The Pyre's set Photo Ray and I spent the next, like, 2 hours hanging out with John Funeral Pyre shooting the shit over beerz and geeking out about the songwriting of Morrissey. An epic hang session, my brothers! On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Back at Casa de Umlaut I had a bowl of cereal.

Fear Factory / Amon Amarth
The Regency, San Francisco
April 9, 2010

The scheduling of this show was total bullshit, man. The show STARTED at 7:00pm... and since one of the opening bands didn't make it all the sets were pushed up as well. As a result, Amon Amarth (the only band I cared about..) were due to go on at 8:00pm, so all I had time to do after getting home from work was feed the animals and jump back into the Prius to battle rush hour traffic. Odin give me strength.

I'm happy to report that The Regency still has the most ridiculously thorough ass patting security check in The Bay Area outside of The Hall Of Justice or County Jail; luckily I hid all of my concert contraband up my ass. At Will Call my +1 was in place but my planned date couldn't make it due to the early set times. I asked the kid behind me in line if he had a ticket and he gave me a "WTF" look and said "No.." so I told the Will Call guy that the kid was my +1. The kid looked shocked and the Will Call guy had a look that said "That's the coolest thing I've seen all day.." Dudes, THAT'S what METAL is all about; Umlaut was just paying The Metal forward.

It's been 2 years since the Vikings last landed their long boats on the shores of San Franfuckincisco. This was only the 2nd show on the band's U.S. Tour and for the first couple of shows bassist Ted Lundström was at home in Valhalla due to the birth of a new member to his clan. As he has in the past, Steve Drennan was on the 4-string for the Swedes... However, Steve is English and considering how the Vikings treated Britain back in The Day I'm sure The Queen isn't happy about that.


I totally dig Amon Amarth's brand of Viking Metal since it's firmly grounded in Old European Metal, with actual guitar solos grounded in solid harmonies... and NO KEYBOARDS! HAIL. At one point a friend said Amon Amarth were sounding repetitive... Dude! That's the point! Repetitive Viking Metal = Viking rowing. It's music for pushing your long boats forward and for storming onto Christian shores to rape and pillage and pillage and rape. The music is also for synchronized hair swinging. The highlight of the set for Umlaut was 'Death In Fire'... "FIRE!!".. Odin be praised... but the kidz really went off during 'Guardians Of Asgaard". Trivia: When Umlaut was 18 I worked as a clerk at a liquor store chain called Asgard; one of the managers would score us booze AND we'd get an employee discount. HAIL.

Sidebar Rant: Seriously, Dethklok are basically an Amon Amarth cover band. I hope Brendon Small is paying Amon Amarth some kind of licensing fee for copping their sound for his animated entertainment empire.

It warmed my heart when Johann Hegg commented how it was nice to be playing in "The Home of American Metal"; a nice reality check about how the rest of the world views the San Franfuckincisco Bay Area. However, to the kid who was waving a NORWEGIAN flag early in the set: Uhhh... Amon Amarth are SWEDISH, dude... I know their flags look the same, but they are two different countries... really... they are... Public Schools Rule!

For the newbies: NORWAY on the left.. SWEDEN on the right. Tonight was a one-off show with Fear Factory headlining. I've never been a Fear Factory fan, but this was the last time I saw them:

The debut version of OzzFest in 1996 when it only played in Phoenix and San Bernardino. Unfortunately, my favorite memories of that day don't include Fear Factory. Trivia: I was on tour with Neurosis and San Bernardino was Sepultura's final U.S. show with the original lineup; Umlaut watched them from onstage and it was amazing. Biohazard were also on the bill and a porn movie was shot on their tour bus; I have a pic "somewhere" of Ron Jeremy walking past Neurosis' bus. Also, Sharon Osbourne gave Scott Kelly of Neurosis an armful of free OzzFest shirts (Sharon was courting Neurosis to sign with her record label at the time).

Fear Factory... Yes, the legend Gene Hoglan of Dethklok was on drums, but after a couple of songs my brain was telling me FOOD would be better for me than blast beats... and I kept having flashbacks to this day at work a couple of years ago:


Out on the sidewalk I almost ran into Johan Hegg... I shook his hand and he gave me a big Viking smile and said "Thanks!"... He had obviously gone back to the band's bus to change since he was wearing a nice button down shirt instead of the sweaty sleeveless black tee he'd had onstage. Viking GQ!

Kudos to the drunk kid who stumbled up to us in between bands and announced that it was his 23rd birthday and who slurred how happy he was that we were all there to celebrate with him... and that he couldn't find his friends. Kid, the ONLY friend you need is METAL. Remember that... always.

The merch line for Amon Amarth was insane after their set. Note to their merch company: I wish I had an Amon Amarth horn to drink my beer out of... If you bought one of every Amon Amarth merch item you would have paid $295. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Odin would have approved of the post-Viking Metal food session at Rosamunde in The Mission. HAIL.

Lifers Redux

The exciting sequel to Lifers!

The tale of Ludicra has quickly become THE story of The Bay Area Metal Scene for 2010. The outpouring of support for them in the wake of a medical emergency has been beyond amazing. It's also reminded me why I'm proud to say The Bay Area is my place of birth and my homeland. The San Franfuckincisco Bay Area Metal Scene is a tight community, but it's inspiring to see how The Metal Scene nation / worldwide has responded. METALHEADS: We take care of our own.

Earlier today, longtime Umlaut friend Billy Anderson asked me to post his contribution to Ludicra's cause. For the newbies: Billy is a legend for his work producing bands such as Sleep, Melvins, Eyehategod, Mr. Bungle, Black Cobra, and MANY others. His discography also includes Ludicra's Another Great Love Song album.

Lifers forever, man. To quote Billy: "This is not a hobby." So, without further ado, here's Billy:

To all fans of good music and musicians, to fans of music that i have worked with and stand behind, and to wishers of good will and gesture, and especially to to keepers of the faith:

PLEASE HELP LUDICRA.

(Included in this note is a link to the Profound Lore Records site with info galore, and a link to the press release put together by Nathan Carson of Nanotear Booking and Wolves in the Throne Room from Olympia WA. It has gone out to Blabbermouth, Pitchfork Media, and other online and music related media outlets.)

John Cobbett, guitar wizard and co-founder of Ludicra, founder of Hammers of Misfortune-to name only a couple- is in dire need of your help. He is at this moment being released from the hospital in Washington state after having been there almost a week after a misdiagnosed appendix attack, then the eventual rupture, near death and eventual treatment of appendicitis-all while embarking on Ludicra's biggest and most important tour in its 12-year history...

The outpouring of support from the music community has been plentiful and inspiring so far.. John is out of the hospital today (Wed. 4-7-2010) and resting in the Northwest before rejoining the rest of Ludicra in New York on the 13th..I believe they are playing at least a few shows as a 4-piece until John meets them, so...catch those shows as an EXTREME rarity and buy a shirt and bring friends!!! Please forward this to anyone who might be concerned or is a fan of Ludicra or Hammers of Misfortune, as a personal favor to John, the band, myself and the spirit of true and real music.

Please help if you can. 10 bucks, 20 bucks, 13 Pesos, A few Rupees, whatever you can do... Even if you are dirt-ass broke, go see them on the rest of their tour when they come to your town and call all your friends in other cities of the tour, post tour dates, buy merch, support the tour in any way you can. Because its important.

Wolves in the Throne Room has stepped up and made a generous offer to anyone who raises a certain amount of money. In keeping with that notion, i want to do my part as well in one of the ways i can..

My offer:

This offer is extended to: Any band, label, management or booking agency, radio station, gear broker, band member, friend of band member, understanding and awesome girlfriend, well-off and supportive parent or family member of anyone associated with music and the recording of it-- Any entity or combined effort of entities mentioned above that can raise a substantial amount of money (starting at $100 US-and above, up to any amount you can raise..) to donate to John Cobbett/Ludicra, I hereby offer my professional services as Producer/ Engine-Ear. Dollar for dollar.

If your band, radio station, store, etc (i will call it "entity" ) raises and donates 100 bucks, i will donate to your entity 100 dollars worth of my time/services to your entity. If you raise 5 grand, i donate 5 grand worth. Simple. This offer is extended with no real "expiration date", as i am sure John's medical expenses combined with touring expenses will set John and Ludicra back for quite some time.

I offer this as a gesture of good will and faith, and a bit of a fundraising challenge. And on a more personal note, John totally saved my ass when we were recording "Another Great Love Song"-scooping me from a near-death zombie state, rushing me to a couple E.R.s and helping cover me financially when i had a nasty and untreated tooth infection. I never forgot that.

BACK STORY:

The back story is, for me, the main reason this is all such a dire circumstance and the reason there is a need for the music-NAMELY THE METAL-community to unite and pull together for the greater good.

Ludicra are not only one of my favorite bands ever, they are also my good friends, most of them for well over a decade. John Cobbett, Ludicra, and Hammers of Misfortune are long-time unsung spokes-heroes for San Francisco music and metal in general. They have slugged it out for over a decade with no major touring or even recognition on the level they deserve. They caught a break when asked to do a direct-support slot on Mayhem's upcoming U.S. tour. But just when they FINALLY get a wind behind them- Mayhem cancelled. Ludicra, bloodied but motivated-forged ahead. Along with the steadfast skills of Nathan Carson at Nanotear Booking and the other bands/their people, the tour was booked anyway. To kickstart the tour in San Francisco, Ludicra opened for Pentagram. Though John had his first (and misdiagnosed) attack of appendicitis and been in the emergency room for hours JUST before the show- he showed up at doors, no soundcheck, and to a packed hometown audience, Ludicra routinely and summarily DESTROYED. Days later, after the very first "official" show of the tour in Portland, Or., John's appendix burst, endangering his life and putting him in the hospital-and in the arms of the health care system, uninsured. He's been in the hospital for almost a week now at the mercy of the system, surgeries, and unthinkable bills. Each day that passes is one more show Ludicra cannot play. And another day the rest of the band is away from home and losing precious money.

There you go. Like the statement/ release made by Wolves in the Throne Room, i don't want to sound like a telethon or infomercial or cause anyone to feel sorry for John or anything like that. This is a genuine call to arms for anyone who cares about metal, about music and about a great band who is finally getting their due. Its also a way to give a bit of yourself to help John Cobbett, an important and legendary figure in music in San Francisco and certainly, the world.

Thank you for reading.

REGARDING THE OFFER MADE BY ME:

Please email me to make arrangements about redeeming my services. billy@billyanderson.net

or on Facebook:
Billy Anderson on Facebook

or Myspace:
Billy Anderson Myspace

DONATIONS:

To make a donation to LUDICRA/John Cobbett directly through Profound Lore, simply send a payment via paypal here: profoundlorerecords@gmail.com

This is the general donation fund.

Anyone wanting to take advantage of my offer, PLEASE put in the subject: LUDICRA John Cobbett/BILLY ANDERSON OFFER

I will arrange with Ludicra/Profound Lore the documentation and eventual settlement between anyone who meets the challenge and the eventual redemption of the final amount.
Thank you.

Other links:

Profound Lore Records/Ludicra info plus other links and donation options:
http://www.profoundlorerecords.com//index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=901&Itemid=2

Wolves in the Throne Room statement/ info:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=10894259&blogID=532297242

Remaining shows of the tour:
http://collect.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=bandprofile.listAllShows&friendid=2320836&n=Ludicra

Lifers

Ludicra are one of the most inspiring Metal bands that Umlaut has ever witnessed. The fact that they're a hometown band is even better, and they are part of a VERY long list of amazing Metal bands that have been spawned here in the San Franfuckincisco Bay Area.

I'm a Lifer. Metal has been part of my life since I was a teenager here in The Bay Area during the magical, amazing era of the early-80's. For the newbies: Click HERE for a quick visual history lesson. Metal is not a casual thing for me, especially as I've gotten older. It's one thing that acts as a reality check about who I am as a person... and, ironically, it's something that is part of my professional life as well. Metal is, and should be, a lifestyle... and I don't mean just in regards to your fashion sense. If you're serious, Metal is a religion... and it's the closest thing to a religion that I've ever embraced. Metal has helped me to focus my worldview, focused my thoughts when I've needed it, been my friend when I was a lonely, and has also introduced me to some of my best friends... and it continues to do all of those things for me. Metal is not simply "music" to me.

Ludicra are Lifers too. Most of you reading this already know about their current situation, and it breaks my Metal Heart to think about the frustration and stress the band is going through; this trek should be Ludicra's triumphant march across the continent. It's hard enough being an artist here in the 21st Century without having to deal with this kind of reality. Of course, it's terrifying (in a GOOD way) to think how Ludicra will take this adversity and channel it into their music... but first they have to take care of business. Below is the latest info on the band's tour and also how you can help them if you're so inclined. True artists who make sacrifices for their calling are a rare thing these days... alot of other bands would have returned home... defeated... beaten down... but Ludicra are Lifers. METAL.


Courtesy of Profound Lord:

LUDICRA - Tour Update, Donation Info Posted

Figure with word going around on the status and fate of LUDICRA’s “De-Cancellation” tour, it’s time we gave an official update on the situation. The plan is for LUDICRA to soldier on their tour in St. Paul, MN (on April 08) as a four piece until John Cobbett full recovers and can re-join the band for the rest of the tour. Read on how you can help LUDICRA in this time of need...

After having their first big break, in their illustrious ten-plus year career, yanked from them when Mayhem unceremoniously decided to cancel their initially planned return to the U.S. (where LUDICRA were direct support), LUDICRA weren’t going to let this blemish get in the way of touring in lieu of their new album “The Tenant” (which has, so far, become one of the most acclaimed albums of the year). So the band decided to last-minute book a full-on 31 date tour in place of the canceled Mayhem one.

As the tour began, the second day in the tour, guitarist John Cobbett (also the mastermind in HAMMERS OF MISFORTUNE of course) felt a pain in his stomach/abdominal area and it was revealed he had appendicitis and that his appendix had burst, along with having an abscess growing inside his body which, in a weird twist of fate, actually helped him. Prior to the tour, before the Pentagram show in SF which LUDICRA recently played, Cobbett felt the symptoms of such a sickness and went to get checked out. Even though he went to get checked out though, the ever reliable and helpful (sarcasm) doctors at San Francisco General Hospital simply dismissed it and told Cobbett there was nothing wrong with him.

So in Olympia WA, Cobbett had to be rushed to the emergency room to be tendered to. He is currently still in the hospital in Olympia and is awaiting word on the doctors of when he can re-join his band mates and is recovering really quickly.

The outpouring from the fans of support has been immense and it just shows the kind of dedicated community a band like LUDICRA can create.

DONATION INFO

There have been people showing interest and asking on how to make any kind of donation as these medical bills continue to surmount and pile up (that’s U.S. health care for you). But we have posted several donation options (which will remain active for the duration of the tour) for those who want to donate (anything helps of course) and help LUDICRA:

Option 1: If you would like to make a donation to LUDICRA/John Cobbett directly through Profound Lore, simply send a manual payment via paypal here: profoundlorerecords@gmail.com and in the subject line please write “Ludicra Donation” just so we can distinguish it.

Option 2: LUDICRA’s friends WOLVES IN THE THRONE ROOM have also reached out to help. They have posted all their donation info etc. via their myspace blog HERE.

Option 3: Casey C-P , has created a cool poster for the band’s show in Portland and is selling them. All proceed from sales of this poster will go towards LUDICRA. Go HERE to see where you can buy the poster.

Of course any updates (prior to us leaving on April 12th for Roadbrun Fest) will be posted. For the most recent updates on LUDICRA, best to check our twitter account HERE.

And of course we want to thank all the LUDICRA supporters out there who have shown their concern and support towards one of the best American metal bands today. Your support means a lot.

So the De-Cancellation tour now looks like this:

04/08 - St Paul, MN @ Turf Club
04/09 - Milwaukee, WI @ Jackpot Gallery
04/10 - Chicago @ The Underground Lounge (w/Clad in Darkness)
04/11 - Indianapolis, IN @ Melody Inn
04/12 - Lansing, MI @ Mac's Bar (w/Wastelander, Sauron)
04/13 - Rochester, NY @ Bug Jar (w/KRALLICE, CRUCIFIST)
04/14 - Toronto, ON @ Rancho Relaxo (w/KRALLICE)
04/15 - Montreal, QC @ Il Motore (w/KRALLICE)
04/16 - Portland, ME @ Geno's (w/Ocean, KRALLICE, Aok Suicide Forest)
04/17 - Boston, MA @ O'Briens (2pm day show) (w/Tombs, KRALLICE)
04/18 - Brooklyn, NY @ Europa (w/KRALLICE, CASTEVET, Attake)
04/19 - Philadelphia @ M Room (w/Lair of the Minotaur, Tombs, KRALLICE)
04/20 - Baltimore, MD @ Hexagon (w/Tombs, KRALLICE)
04/21 - Richmond, VA @ The Triple (w/KRALLICE)
04/22 – Atlanta, GA @ Drunken Unicorn (w/Music Hates You)
04/23 – Knoxville, TN @ Pilot Light
04/24 – Little Rock, AR @ Downtown Music
04/25 - Austin, TX @ Emo's
04/27 - Las Cruces, NM @ The Trainyard
04/28 - Phoenix, AZ @ Nile Basement (w/LANDMINE MARATHON)
04/29 – San Diego, CA @ Radio Room
04/30 – Los Angeles, CA @ Sabor Lounge
05/01 - Santa Cruz, CA @ Coaster's (w/Dusted Angel)
05/08 - San Francisco, CA @ Cafe Du Nord(w/Kowloon Walled City - CD release show for “The Tenant”)

The Tenant

The undisputed headliners of The Bay Area Metal Scene are being challenged by misfortune. Help them if you can, because it's not easy being an artist these days... and this type of situation is terrible under any circumstances.

LUDICRA 4-1-10: John Cobbett fundraiser

***All profits from the sale of this poster will go toward the medical bills of Ludicra's guitarist, John Cobbett.***


This poster was for bay-area black metal maestros, Ludicra, and the Portland kickoff date of their 5 week spring tour. Unfortunately disaster struck on the second night of the tour, when lead guitarist John Cobbett's appendix burst. They have had to cancel dates, and the fate of the tour is uncertain. John is recovering well, but he is now crippled with medical bills and the band is losing money due to the canceled tour dates. Which is where this humble designer comes in. I am donating all proceeds from this poster (after taking a small portion to cover printing and shipping costs) toward Cobbett's medical expenses.

Awesome poster for a great price and a great cause = no brainer.

Click HERE to order the poster.

Starf*cker '92

As the header of this space says, Umlaut was a xeroxed zine from 1992-95. Like most who grew up in the loving embrace of Mass Media, Umlaut is not above being a starfucker when the opportunity presents itself... and this was especially true back in 1992:

Legendary author Harry Crews (The Gospel Singer, A Childhood, Blood And Grits, The Knockout Artist, etc.) at Printer's Ink, Palo Alto, CA with Umlaut #2. Kim Gordon (Sonic Youth) and Lydia Lunch named their 1989 side band Harry Crews.

Fresh-faced Steve Von Till and Scott Kelly of Neurosis with Umlaut #2 at Brave New World (R.I.P.) in San Franfuckincisco. Umlaut went on tour a couple of times with the East Bay crusties before they became the influential volume legends that they are today.. Epic times, dude.

Metallica's Kirk Hammett with Umlaut #4 backstage at the Cow Palace, S.F.. Metallica had just played the first of two homecoming shows on the Black Album Tour and had the #1 Album in the country. The Glory Days before Napster and band therapists.

James Hetfield of Metallica with Umlaut #4 backstage at the Cow Palace, S.F.. The Rock God of his generation years before Napster and band therapists. Umlaut and Hetfield actually had a really profound conversation; it was the first time we'd seen each other in around 8 years.

Old Umlaut friends Greg and John prepare to have Laibach autograph Umlaut #5. The Slovenian industrial legends were confused.

Dave Edwardson of Neurosis and Umlaut #5 hanging out at a Melvins / Helmet show at F/X (R.I.P.) in downtown San Jose. I'd probably been drinking.

Dave Mustaine of Megadeth with Umlaut #5 on the Megadeth tour bus in San Jose, CA. Umlaut was interviewing Mustaine for the book Metallica: Unbound (Note the "professional" notepad and cassette recorder); the interview can be found on pages 43-45 of the book.

1992: Good times, man. Good times. I miss those glue stick 'n paper cut 'zine days sometimes. Yeah, online shit is way easier, but I'd like to see you kidz get photos of Rock Stars posing with your blog... Just saying.