Ümlaut was a fanzine that existed from 1992-95. Despite limited distribution, readers included Hipsters from coast to coast and Rock Stars of various credibility, including Sonic Youth and Metallica. To quote The Cramps: “I dig that goddam Rock ‘N Roll.. The kind of stuff that don’t save souls.”
Needless to say it's chock full of amazing behind-the-scenes and rare photos of the Misfits, Samhain, and Danzig combined with insightful and entertaining text. The book is presented in chronological order so you get a sense of Eerie's trek from teenage angst in New Jersey in the 70's to the Arena Rock implosion with Danzig in the 90's. Umlaut especially liked the content documenting the times in the 80's and early-90's when Danzig hung out and toured with Metallica and both bands were at the top of their Metal Powers... The images from these times include a drawing Eerie did of Metallica as "Alcoholica" shortly before Cliff Burton's death.
Some other nice WTF photos include the Misfits visiting Graceland in 1984, Jesse James (!?) working as Danzig's tour security guy back in The Day (!?), and Danzig with a rather hippie looking Rob Zombie (circa 'Thunder Kiss '65' White Zombie) hanging out with H.R. Giger.
When we last left our hero, Kyle and his parents had just visited the secret Northern California headquarters of Metallica. Would Kyle make it to the big Metallica homecoming show??! Would Kyle meet his Rock Star heroes??! Would Kyle smile???!
Kyle’s Great Metalli-Adventure, Part II by K.J. Doughton
Still dazed from his visit to the Official Metallica HQ, including tours of band studio, rehearsal room, instruments, game room, merchandise center, etc., Kyle gears up for an actual Metalli-SHOW. The real deal. Arena rock nirvana.
Dad is nervous about some unforeseen event throwing a fly in the ointment. Hyper-vigilant about driving on San Jose streets, he wrestles with visions of flat tires, fender-benders, and over-heating radiators. But we push on.
It’s Saturday evening, December 12th, and Dad lets out a sigh of relief. The rental car has made it to San Jose’s massive HP Pavilion. Will call tickets and VIP passes have been claimed (Thanks, Vickie!!!). All is going as planned.
From the venue’s parking lot, we are amused by dozens of tailgate parties taking form. A particularly lively group of forty-ish, balding men (I’m noticing that bald is becoming the equivalent of the mullet for New Millennium metalheads) are drinking heavily and taunting passers-by with comments like, “You look like you’re going to a Hanna Montana concert!” Leather-clad women too old to be exposing their cleavage mill around in too much make-up, too much hair, and too little clothing.
We enter the venue and find our seats. 11th row. Not bad.
Metal concerts can become unexpected reunions, especially if you’ve been around the headbanger block a few times. Kyle is oblivious to this history. So when I spot hulking Testament frontman Chuck Billy sitting one row ahead, it doesn’t mean much to my oblivious wife and son. But when some twenty-something metal chick approaches him and exclaims, “I bow down to you,” my family is intrigued. Even more so when another fan, armed with a tour program and sharpie, begs Chuck for an autograph. I explain the band’s lineage, and how they inhabited the same Bay Area metal frat house that spawned Metallica and other speed-metal successors.
Kyle and my wife thinks that Chuck looks like Hagrid from “Harry Potter.” Kyle says he’s heard their stuff on Youtube.
The nostalgic vibe intensifies when someone taps me on the shoulder from behind. It’s Ian Kallen, metal veteran from San Fran’s Rampage Radio and Metal Mania fanzine. After decades of going in separate life directions and being somewhat disconnected from the scene, both Ian and myself were privileged to be part of Metallica’s recent Hall of Fame induction ceremony/party in Cleveland.
Ian has brought his daughter to the show. Suddenly, there’s an emotional undercurrent to the reality that two one-time Metalheads are now passing the torch to a new generation. It’s an awesome thing. Gone are the long hair, denim, and leather, but here we are. Watching Metallica 25 years later. With our kids.
After Kyle critiques two opening bands as “okay,” Metallica takes the stage surrounded by electric laser beams of green and blue. My son quickly grapples for his cell phone, with which to generate a steady stream of digital pics and movies. He texts them to a buddy living back in Washington.
Metallica rules. Dad has never seen them so strong, even though the band members have reached their mid-forties, and this marks the final show of their exhausting U.S. “Death Magnetic” tour. In Cleveland, the band’s Hall of Fame inductor Flea said it best: “When that magic happens in a band, it’s not something that you can add up with regular math. It’s a cosmic chemistry, and it is inexplicable.”
He’s right. The band’s flawless performance seems almost superhuman. Maybe it is. “Fight Fire With Fire” has lost none of its furious, attack-mode thunder. In fact, it’s faster and more powerful than ever before.
It’s weird. Unlike my generation of music collectors, my son has the advantage of Youtube with which to sniff out and research rock bands. He also has Guitar Hero Metallica to fall back on.
At twelve years old, he can name every Metallica song on every Metallica album in perfect chronology. He can tell you what types of guitars Kirk plays, and which LP’s were produced by Bob Rock. He knows which unique sound effects on “Master of Puppets” were generated through Cliff Burton’s bass playing innovations. He knows more than I do, all because of the Internet (and the fact that he’s a genius, which has nothing to do with any parental bias).
Another thing that strikes me while watching Metallica live is the transforming power of parenting. These days, the band appears less pissed off and more fulfilled. Some of the rage is gone. But unlike most bands that lose their anger, Metallica has forfeited none of their charisma, vitality, or power. I notice a small, partitioned-off area stage left. Various kids view the show from this select vantage point. I’m sure they’re band family members.
I can’t help but sense a correlation between family life and the positive vibe emanating from the stage. Fewer F-bombs. James’ onstage proclamation that, “We’re here to make you feel better,” and his empowering question, “ARE YOU ALIVE!?!” This is music-as-fuel, sound-as-energy, communal rock-as-inspiration. It’s quite something.
Balls of fire. Flames erupting in shades of green, red, and yellow. A hundred black beach balls dropping from the rafters.
When it’s all over, Kyle is wiped out. I can’t begin to fathom what’s going on in his 12-year old head, now ringing with the residual hum of a truly potent rock show.
But he’s still not smiling.
Phase II of Kyle’s Metalli-Birthday bash has been realized. As the house lights come on and we rush to the backstage VIP room, two questions remain.
Will Kyle meet “The Guys”?
And will he EVER smile for the camera?
Stay tuned for Part III!!!
Click HERE for Part Three of "Kyle Meets Metallica"!
K.J. Doughton and Umlaut have a friendship that spans over 25 years. We became friends mainly due to a cassette demo tape by some band called Metallica. This was when literally only 10 people knew about the band and eventually K.J. ran the band's initial fan club out of his parents' basement for the first 4 years of their career. It's been a long strange trip for us with The Rock Stars and this piece literally brought tears to my eyes.. If K.J. doesn't win "Dad Of The Year" I will be outraged. Life can be so METAL sometimes!
Kyle’s Great Metalli-Adventure, Part One by K.J. Doughton
Prologue: None of the following would have happened without the support of Grandma and Grandpa. Thanks to both of you for making this dream a reality.
My son Kyle never smiles for the camera.
He is, however, a fledgling guitarist and fan of loud music who turned twelve several days ago. What better birthday present than a Metallica adventure in San Francisco? Dad’s ancient history as helmer of the band’s first fan club (and a longtime supporter of Metallica’s early phases, through fanzine promotion and demo tape distribution) has its benefits. Perhaps by contacting some of Metallica’s key players, Dad could set Kyle up for a surreal trip through the world of our planet’s biggest metal band.
Mission #1: Contact Metallica Fan Club coordinator Vickie Strate, and ask if she could set up a tour of the band’s “HQ” center, where they rehearse, record, practice, sell their merchandise and Fan Club packages, and unwind by playing Kirk’s “Creature of the Black Lagoon” pinball machine.
Mission accomplished. Not only does Vickie send Kyle a birthday gift box (signed drum head, “Jump In the Fire” monster figurine, guitar picks, t-shirt), but she also arranges an HQ visit. The topper to all this is her willingness to get us into the band’s final “Death Magnetic” North American concert in San Jose on Saturday, December 12th. Not only that… she also provides VIP passes so that hopefully, Kyle can meet his favorite musicians in the flesh.
What a birthday present, eh?!?
With Mom and Dad in tow at 6:05 in the morning on a cloudy Thursday morning, Kyle jumps onto a plane and lands at SFO. The next morning, he’s en route to the legendary Metallica “HQ.” We’re greeted by Vickie, who set this dream into motion and proves to be the most generous and personable human being one could ever hope to meet. Dad provides her with some old fan club newsletters and bios from the early eighties, before she begins the tour.
One room is packed to the gills with various t-shirts and other merchandise. The mind boggles. Dad used to sell a couple of Metallica shirts each day from his parents’ basement when he ran the fan club. Now, with the holiday demand in full swing, the band has sold an astounding amount of merchandise in just the past 24 hours. Walls of black file cabinets house tens of thousands of membership files. It’s an awe-inspiring reminder of what a phenomenon the band has become since their inception in 1982. Kyle is overwhelmed and excited, but refuses to smile for the camera.
Vickie then transports us into the band’s game room, which boasts two pinball machines, an air hockey table, and various other diversions. Amidst foosball tables, Kyle poses for a pic. He’s having fun, but still no smile. What a rebel.
Next stop is the Metallica recording studio. Vickie confirms that the band produced “St. Anger,” and much of “Death Magnetic,” in this very room, a technical mishmash of knobs, buttons, consoles, mixing desks, mics, and amps.
Soon, we’re guided into the Metallica rehearsal studio, now stuffed with instrument cases destined for the band’s upcoming South American tour. Kyle poses in front of a never-ending wall of guitars (James’ personal stash), which resembles a shelf stuffed with oversized library books.
He’s tempted to touch one of Robert Trujillo’s bass guitars, but resists the urge. Ditto for the battered, bashed Flying V housed in a nearby guitar stand that James wielded during the “Kill ‘em All” era! Dad is about to have a cardiac, his heart is beating so fast.
Kyle gawks at the hundreds of fan-scribed banners wallpapering this practice warehouse, and poses in front of a spray painted mural of the band’s logo (James’ handiwork. Is there anything the man can’t do?) Meanwhile, Dad is intrigued by the “Wall of Inspiration,” a hallway decked out with framed covers of influential records most cherished by the band. Dad spots Thin Lizzy’s “Live and Dangerous,” the first Iron Maiden album, veteran NWOBHM’ers Tygers of Pan Tang’s “Wildcat,” and tons more. Cool, or what?
Thanks a million to Vickie and the other HQ reps who helped to make my son’s birthday present such an unforgettable dream come true.
Meanwhile, the question remains… will Kyle make it to the HP Pavilion in San Jose to get eyebrows singed by onstage pyro flames? Will he experience the punishing live power of “Fight Fire With Fire”? Will he actually meet the metal legends in person?
Most intriguing of all… will he ever smile for the camera? Stay tuned for Part II of “Kyle’s Big Metalli-adventure”!!!
Click HERE for Part Two of "Kyle Meets Metallica"!
Is there anything better than celebrating The Holidays AND the end of a North American Tour with Rock Stars? Nope.
A historic San Francisco location... a few hundred guests... Food, food, food... Drinks, drinks, drinks... Santa... and a photo booth that produced cool multi-frame souvenir pics...
The Lead Guitarist to Umlaut: "I saw you from the stage in Sacramento... sorry we didn't play 'Trapped'.." (Umlaut had requested 'Trapped Under Ice' prior to the show)... and Umlaut FINALLY met the band's legendary soundman Big Mick after all these years.
Yes, The Rock Stars know how to throw a magnificent party! A REALLY fun evening, man. REALLY fun. Happy Holidays... and dog bless us... every ONE.
This might be the most beautiful thing Umlaut has seen all year by one of my favorite bands:
KYLESA STATIC TENSIONS WOODEN BOX SET 2XLP
The Kylesa “Static Tensions” Wooden Box Set contains the following:
• Solid wood box made of pine and birch, with silkscreened cover artwork • Screenprinted 12×24 wrap around cover on metallic purple paper • Turntable slipmat with cover artwork • Full color A2 sized poster of album artwork • 8 page full LP sized booklet of lyrics and art • Sticker • 2xLP, 45 R.P.M. vinyl version of Static Tensions on exclusive “Purple Haze” colored vinyl • All boxes individually hand-numbered 1-150
Although the run is 150 copies, only 115 copies are being sold via the 20BuckSpin website. Oh, here's a video of Laura of Kylesa talking about this Music Geek's wet dream... although the German interviewer is a LOSER ("I'm actually not a vinyl collector..")..
YES! Umlaut scored a copy... Now I just have to wait and see what number copy I get in the sequence. The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth! This message was posted on the 20 Buck Spin site later in the day:
Kylesa Box Sets Gone December 10, 2009
Unbelievable. You maniacs cleaned us out in 30 minutes! Now please bear with us as we sort through this madness. Thanks to all who ordered for your support of Kylesa and 20 Buck Spin.
(color removed to make it harder for sneaky fucks to counterfeit)
This was Umlaut's final concert of 2009... #84 for those keeping score... which is an average of a show every 4.3 days.. which isn't bad for an Old Fart like me. Appropriately my final show of the year was Metallica. Long time readers of this space know what an amazing full circle of life year it's been for me with this band. For the newbies click HERE and HERE to read about it... Go ahead... I'll wait.
Also appropriately, my concert year ended with an old fashioned road trip with Umlaut Nation brothers Timo, Photo Ray, and Old Metal Tim... and in old school fashion Timo borrowed his dad's SWEET armored personnel carrier as he had back in July when we traveled into the dark heart of California to see Judas Priest at a county fair... EPIC... and, yes, we're mentally still 16-year old Teenagers. "Dad, can I borrow the car?"
The SWEET Armored Personnel Carrier
This was my 3rd visit to the Sacramento area for a show this year and my 2nd visit to Arco Arena. I like Arco Arena: It's slightly smaller than the other big arenas in NorCal that are commonly used for concerts (Oracle Arena in Oakland and HP Pavilion in San Jose) and its round configuration versus the more traditional oval shape of the other venues makes a difference. Because of its design, Arco feels more intimate despite the fact it holds 17,000 people... and since Metallica's stage was in the round that intimacy was magnified.
The show started early at 7:00pm so those other hometown heroes Machine Head were already onstage when we arrived... which was a bummer since I wanted to see them as much as the headliners. MH are one of my favorite live bands and it was weird seeing them on Metallica's in-the-round stage but they made the best of it. Unfortunately Robb Flynn's wireless unit for his axe had gone out so he was tethered to his amp via an old school guitar cable... and Robb looked like a pit bull on a leash trying to get away from his collar so he could run around. Born free, as free as the wind blows... Since today was the 5th Anniversary of Dimebag Darrell's death, MH busted out their cover of Pantera's 'Fucking Hostile' and did a Jaeger toast to Dime as well. Nicely done. Eventually, Robb's leash got the best of him and he ended up getting the cable tangled up on some gear, so he tossed the guitar down and did the final song without it and let Phil Demmel carry the axe duties. This was my 3rd time seeing Machine Fucking Head on this tour and it's pretty amazing that by the time they play their final show in Europe early next year they will have been on the road for almost 3 YEARS on this album cycle. MH are road dogs of the highest order who unabashedly fly the flag for Bay Area Metal. Dog bless 'em.
It's been awhile since I've seen Metallica 4x on a tour, actually 5x when you count the Death Magnetic tour rehearsal. At this point, I've seen the band so many times over the years (37x and counting) that for much of their shows I'm more interested in watching the production and the crowd reaction more than watching The Rock Stars... It's also gotten to the point now where I know what song is coming in the set by details such as what guitar Kirk is given by his tech (Black Jackson = 'Sad But True') or by what seemingly random guitar doodle Kirk or James play. Total Geek shit.
I have to say that at this point in my history with the band, my favorite part of a Metallica show is the moment when the houselights go down and their 'Ecstasy Of Gold' (For the newbies: From The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly movie soundtrack) intro tape starts... The fans know the intro tape as well as any of the band's songs and the roof is always blown off by the crowd reaction when those first notes start in the darkness of the venue. The band has been using that intro tape since practically Day One in the clubs and that connection to the past means alot to an Old Fart fan like me.. Tradition, man... Tradition.
Anyway, show highlights for Umlaut:
'Fade To Black' performed with James alternating between an acoustic and electric guitar. The band has never performed it that way before. Awesome.
The part in 'Fade To Black' when Kirk goes into his solo and Lars steps up with the double bass. METAL.. I've loved that part of the song since the first time I heard the song in 1984...
Kirk had a problem with his guitar during 'Enter Sandman' but, in a display of why he's a true Guitar God, he casually walked to the side of the stage, took the guitar off and was immediately handed another one by his tech, and within several seconds (literally) he was back at the lip of the stage at his wah wah pedal and hit his solo in the song without missing a note. This all happened in a matter of seconds and I'm sure not many fans even noticed it. You do NOT learn that kind of musicianship by playing fucking video games like Guitar Hero.
Looking to my right during 'Nothing Else Matters' (still yawning... after all these years..) and seeing Umlaut Nation Metal brother DeVito standing 2 sections over from me... and both of us waving at each other and saying in that unspoken Old Metal Brother way that we were simply waiting for the next song.
Favorite songs of the set: 'Sad But True' and 'Breadfan'... Especially the opening moments of 'Sad' when Kirk bent the note before James started singing. As he bent the note and held it for a moment, Kirk leaned backwards... pointing his Black Jackson at the sky as a spotlight bathed him in Arena Metal glory... FUCK YEAH.. and the riff in 'Breadfan' is still total godhead. Budgie!
'Fight Fire With Fire'... PYRO.... GOOD.
(Vid by Umlaut)
After the show we made our way to the designated elevator that would take us into the bowels of Arco Arena to the "VIP Club" for the obligatory After Show "wait and see what happens" tedium. It was your typical Arena Rock after show set up... snacks... drink tickets... bar.. standing around..
Joking aside, the best part of the After Show is that I met up with old friends and acquaintances to chat and catch up. At this point in my history with Metallica, going to their shows is very much like attending a high school reunion because I see so many people who I met back in The Day because of the band and there's a friendship and a bond there. It's pretty fucking cool.. and a shout out to John Marshall and to Paschke and his O.G. Trouble patch:
At one point a girl wearing a laminate came up to me and asked "Are you Brian??" and I said "Umm, yes.." and she said "Lars wants to see you.." I almost laughed out loud because that sounded funny (actually I think I did laugh out loud..)... and I wondered how Lars described me to her ("Go find the one Oriental Metalhead in the VIP Room...").... HAHA! Long story short, I was soon escorted to a dressing room where... I had a VERY nice personal conversation with The Drummer. I haven't had a mellow one-on-one conversation with The Drummer like that since The Reagan Administration; we used to bullshit like that all the time back in The Day, man. We chatted about life, the show, etc... but I was most impressed that he remembered my parents' house is in Sunnyvale. It was cool.. and say what you will about The Drummer... but I can't talk shit about him.
All in all, it was another FUN night in the land of Metallica. As I've stated in this space before, I've come to terms this year with the fact that Metallica are my favorite band... However, they are not my favorite band because I'm fanatical about their music... No, they're my favorite band simply because I have so much HISTORY with them... and they acknowledge that history and their organization goes out of its way to do stuff like calling to see if I want to attend a show. Remember, they're now in The Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame and they are basically the Led Zeppelin of their generation... The fact that they still give me the time of day is pretty fucking amazing to me.
Anyway, it was another successful 180 mile round trip for Metal... On the way back to San Francisco, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags... which makes sense I guess. THANKS to Timo for driving and to his dad for allowing us to borrow his SWEET armored personnel carrier... and so another year of concerts comes to an end for Umlaut. See y'all in the pit next year.
A friend recently asked me how Umlaut can attend so many shows; according to the Umlaut Archives this was my 83rd show of the year. The secret is I try to make each show as surgically precise as possible... and this show was a perfect example. It was one of those 5 band Metal shows that started at 7:30pm... With apologies to the other bands (Mantic Ritual, Black Anvil, and Merrimack), the only bands I wanted to see were Nachtmystium and Marduk. Nothing wears me down faster than having to sit through opening bands who I don't want to see. Yeah, there is the chance I'll miss a band who I might actually like, but I'm okay with the odds that I'll be happier chilling on my couch until the last minute versus being in a club wishing I was on my couch.
Prior to the show Timo and I made our monthly pilgrimage to The Irish Bank for pre-show fish 'n chips and pints. With apologies to the opening bands, I can't imagine they were more METAL than our meal. Sorry, just being honest... Oh, and 'Ace Of Spades' was played on the pub's jukebox while we were there too... Motörhead is always a good dinner companion.
It was nice to see a big crowd out for a Metal show on a rainy and cold Sunday night. We arrived during Mantic Ritual's set and the first thought in my head was "What year is this??" It's not that they were bad... but the whole retro NWOTM (New Wave Of Traditional Metal) that's getting so much hype kind of freaks me out because it's based on the production sound and style of Metal that was underground when I was a Teenage Metalhead... and bands back then had that production sound because they couldn't afford anything better... and now that sound is what the NWOTM bands strive for... WEIRD. Anyway, Mantic Ritual... not necesarily bad.. but I would have liked them more in 1983. After their set Timo reminded me that we had seen them with Destruction earlier this year... but I have no memory of them from that show.
Nachtmystium sound like they're European, the boots they wear suggest they're European, but there's something else going on with them that's different from Euro bands... So you ask "Where are they from??"... and when you find out "Chicago.." your first thought is probably "Really? Dah Bears..". Unfortunately, Umlaut was out of town when Nachtmystium visited San Francisco earlier this year with Pentagram. Since missing that show, I've been listening to their latest CD Assassins: Black Meddle Part 1 ALOT... and the band's Prog / Psychedelic elements appeal to me in the same way that I'm drawn to the non-Metal elements in the music of Saros, Mastodon, and Kylesa.
It warmed my heart when guitarist Jeff Wilson played the opening riff to Slayer's 'Black Magic' during the monitor check as they set up. Since this was going to be Umlaut's final club show of 2009, I wanted to be right up front during Nachtmystium's set, so I planted myself next to Photo Ray against the stage for their entire set.
It's nice to know that I can still hold my own down front... I can still take a shot to the kidney and roll with it... and I can still throw an elbow into overzealous fans invading my space. Umlaut's old school pit advice: If you're against the stage, avoid turning around to look at the pit action, because most likely that's when you'll get hit in the face. The band slashed into 'Assassins' > 'Ghosts Of Grace', the opening tracks from their latest album, late in the set and I could tell alot of punters knew the album because of all of the slams and punches I received in the back and the back of my head during the songs; it was fun being 19 years old again for 45 minutes. Nachtmystium completely owned San Franfuckingcisco on this cold, rainy night.
"We feel nothing... and are nothing!"
I think it's been 8 years since Marduk last toured America and earlier this year they couldn't get into the country for a tour with Mayhem.. As with most of the pioneering Nordic Black Metal bands, Marduk's lineup is a shadow version of the original band. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think 3/4 of the band were different from the last time they visited S.F. in 2001 except for Morgan on guitar.
In what is common in package Metal tours like this here in the 21st Century all of the bands basically used the same backline and drum kit... which seems odd to me but I'm sure that's the reality of tour economics now. However, I can't imagine Venom and Slayer sharing their gear on tour back in The Day.... Just saying. At any rate, Nachtmystium and Marduk both had sound problems of various degrees, but I was interested by how each band handled the situation. Both bands did their soundchecks just prior to their sets during the changeover, which was a red flag.
Nachtmystium set up their own gear and realized there were monitor problems immediately and spent a good 10-15 minutes trying to sort it out before they returned to the stage. When they were onstage you could tell they were a seasoned touring band and if any sound problems came up they powered through them like professionals so their set didn't lose any momentum. A solid live Metal band onstage is like a shark... It MUST keep moving to survive.
On the flip side, Marduk had a lone roadie set up all their equipment who also noticed problems with the monitors, but these didn't get resolved before the band came onstage. For the first 3 songs Marduk sounded like absolute shit... The water bottles that were onstage were higher up in the mix than Morgan's camo Jeff Hanneman signature ESP guitar; the guitar was literally nowhere.
The sound did improve by the 4th song, but monitor and mic problems plagued Marduk their entire set to the point where I think Mortuus might have taken his frustrations out on a shirtless fan who jumped onstage. The poor kid ended up being thrown out of the club and was seen afterwards standing in the rain outside... pissed off... cold... and still sans shirt. Bummer, dude... However, Mortuus' little tantrums onstage were an interesting contrast to Nachtmystium onstage.
Despite the sound issues, it was still a METAL show. A chick standing not far in front of me had her iPhone knocked out of her hand by the pit action. The iPhone slid across the beer slicked floor towards me and I stopped it with my foot; when she picked it up she gave me the thumbs up in thanks. 21st Century pit etiquette... I guess.
Okay, I got bored during Marduk's set... maybe the sound problems had something to do with it.. or maybe not. I like Marduk's new CD Wormwood quite a bit, but the acid test for any Metal band is how the songs come across live... and their live presentation just didn't have a *bite* and the magic wasn't there for me. Sorry, just being honest.
Late in the set I moved down front, stage right, and I did enjoy them a bit more from that perspective... but I also knew that having watched 45 minutes of their scheduled 60 minute set I wasn't going to see anything that would blow my mind at that point... So we cut our losses, ventured back out into the San Francisco rain, and got our asses back home.
The next morning, the show's promoter (All hail Whore For Satan!) made a comment about the show's sound problems: There was a bad connection on the guitar pedal board for the first few Marduk songs. The rest of the problems seemed to be related to Mortuus' monitor mix with which there was something terribly wrong. I thought the sound for all the other bands was great. My fear is that after 4 bands a lot of ear fatigue sets in and everything gets muddy. I thought Nachtmystium sounded great! Sorry the sound wasn't as good as it could have been for Marduk. Some people liked it.
I didn't do a merch audit, but from a sick in the head merchandiser's viewpoint I couldn't help but appreciate Marduk's "Fuck Me Jesus" shirt that features a woman sodomizing herself with a crucifix on the front. WWJD? On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Man, as I'm typing this I'm listening to Marduk's Wormwood CD and I'm bummed the band wasn't as good live as the new CD is... This cold, rainy night in S.F. belonged to Nachtmystium... Dah Bears!
While doing research in the Umlaut Archives for a project at the request of a certain Heavy Metal Rock Star, I came across this piece of historical literature:
I'm almost positive this was THE very first article ever written about Megadeath [sic] aka "Megadeth". It was originally published in Issue #1 of my fanzine Whiplash (that I published with my old buddy Sam Kress... R.I.P..) circa late 1983. Reading it again here in the 21st Century, it's not bad writing for a 19-year old Metalhead who hated English classes in high school. I learned about the written word on the streets, man!
For more history about Whiplash click HERE. Also, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, so for 1K words on my history with Megadeth click HERE.
Due to the recent home renovation project at Casa de Umlaut, basically everything had to be moved out of the house and then it all was moved back in. During this process I came across some detritus from my past in boxes and closets. Some of the things were items I thought I had lost, such as this:
It's the tour shirt from Alice In Chains' brief 12-city headlining tour of college campuses in April 1993 in support of the Dirt album. The tour also acted as a warm up for the band's appearance on the Lollapalooza Tour that kicked off a month or so after this trek.
Umlaut saw the April 11, 1993 show at the San Jose State Event Center and it remains one of my favorite shows ever. Dude, I was WAY into Alice In Chains. The thing that makes this shirt so cool is the front design, which features an x-ray of Layne Staley's broken foot and the metal pins that had been placed in it:
"I believe them bones are me.. some say we're born into the grave..."
If I remember correctly, he had broken his foot as the Dirt Tour started when AIC were supporting Ozzy and Layne performed those shows either in a wheelchair or on crutches. By the time this leg (pun intended..) of the tour kicked off his foot had healed and the band's sense of humor about it ruled. Good times. Awhile back, someone posted a bootleg video of the entire San Jose show on YouTube. Click HERE to see what Umlaut lived. 'Angry Chair' > 'Man In The Box' was total fucking godhead that night (see Part 7 of the YouTube videos)...
A little over 2 months after the San Jose State show, Umlaut saw AIC again on the Lollapalooza Tour when it stopped at Shoreline Amphitheater. Another great show that featured Layne giving a shout out to Testament, who were watching the set from the side of the stage. I also remember being fascinated how Jerry Cantrell, instead of handing his guitars to his tech, would literally throw them at the roadie... who caught them every time. Impressive.
Jerry Cantrell > Mike Inez - Lollapalooza '93 Picks (From the Umlaut Archives)
A year later Umlaut was beyond stoked because 2 of my favorite bands, Metallica and Alice In Chains, were doing a Summer Tour together... AND I had fucking 4th row center seats. However, AIC cancelled off the tour literally 2 days before it started due to Layne's "health problems"... such a bummer.
The Bill That Never Was... (From the Umlaut Archives)
The next, and final, time Alice In Chains visited San Francisco with Layne was in May 1996 when they performed on The Late Show with David Letterman during Letterman's week-long visit to S.F.. The show was broadcast from The Palace of Fine Arts and rumors were flying all week that AIC were going to play a secret show across town at The Warfield... and Umlaut had the insider friends who were going to get him in.. but alas it never happened.
Two months later Alice In Chains played their final show with Layne (Trivia: In Kansas City supporting KISS)... and I continued on my Music Geek journey while the band sank. Then 6 years later Layne was dead, but by then Alice In Chains were part of my past so it was a sad conclusion to something that I'd left behind years earlier. The End.
Thank dog I never sold my copy of the 1990 'We Die Young' 12" EP, a 3-song record that came out a month before Alice In Chains' debut album. The record is notable because it has the exclusive Non-LP song 'Killing Yourself' (a different demo version was included in the Music Bank box set) and it features THE most fucking eerie and prophetic band photo ever on the cover:
Spooky, right?! It's like the band is looking 12 years into their future..
What? Uhh, yeah I actually do like the new Alice In Chains album... To be honest, I didn't want to like it... because nobody can replace Layne.. but, yeah, I like it.. I've grown to like it alot actually. R.I.P. Layne.
Some of you know what Umlaut does for a living and sometimes my profession enables my Inner Music Geek / Old Metalhead in mind blowing ways... such as this: Prior to this band's recent North American Tour I was casually presented with this beautiful item by this band's management.
Needless to say, I was honored to be deemed worthy enough to be presented with a badge of membership in this band's inner circle. When I was given it I honestly got misty eyed.. It was fucking emotional... My life came full circle, man. If you had told me when I was 17-years old that I would be presented with something of this magnitude I would not have believed you. Is this one of my most prized possessions? Are you fucking kidding me!?
Another town another place, Another girl, another face, Another truck, another race, I'm eating junk, feeling bad, Another night, I'm going mad, My woman's leaving, I feel sad, But I just love the life I lead, Another beer is what I need, Another gig my ears bleed, We Are The Road Crew
Another town I've left behind, Another drink completely blind, Another hotel I can't find, Another backstage pass for you, Another tube of super glue, Another border to get through, I'm driving like a maniac, Driving my way to hell and back, Another room a case to pack, We Are The Road Crew
Another hotel we can burn, Another screw, another turn, Another Europe map to learn, Another truckstop on the way, Another game I learn to play, Another word I learn to say, Another bloody customs post, Another fucking foreign coast, Another set of scars to boast, We Are The Road Crew
Cannibal Corpse The Warfield, San Francisco November 27, 2009
This show fell in the middle of a 5 day stretch where Umlaut had to stay in a luxury hotel away from Casa de Umlaut due to a home improvement project... and 48 hours prior to the show I had read The Road in one night in the hotel room. That bleak, darker than dark book put me in the mood for some bleak, and darker than dark Metal.
The bill tonight was a Frankenstein-like combination of two existing tours to make one ridiculous 10 band, all day lineup inside The Warfield that started at 3:00pm... The show combined the Hatebreed / Cannibal Corpse tour with another tour featuring one of Umlaut's least favorite bands Trivium. Cannibal Corpse were the only band I wanted to see on this bill. Ironically, the show also fell on probably THE worst day of the year to enter downtown San Francisco as it fell on (1) Black Friday, (2) the monthly bike / car clusterfuck Critical Mass, and (3) in the middle of a holiday weekend. Trivia: Umlaut witnessed the very first Critical Mass in 1992 as he drank beers at a bar in The Mission and naked people rode past on bikes; it was lame then and it's even lamer now. Cars Rule... and my Prius can kick your bike's ass! Anyway, in order for me to avoid any potential vehicular manslaughter charges I opted to take BART to the show. I was sorted for a +1 on the Cannibal Corpse guest list and it was going to be a surgically precise evening.
Anyway, that was the plan when I woke up that morning. It was a cold, rainy day and I could not get warm as the morning rolled into afternoon; I was FREEZING, dude. Then as I ran errands during the day I started to feel funky... Then at 4:00pm I knew I was getting sick... Then by 5:30pm I knew I had a fever. FUCK.
Long story short: A hotel is just about the worst place to be sick... but since we couldn't return to Casa de Umlaut for another 36 hours I was stuck. While Skychick went shopping I went to bed and wrapped myself in 2 blankets, my longsleeve Behemoth tour shirt, and a hoodie to try and break the fever. I hallucinated, my head felt like it was going to explode for hours, my body felt like it was being slow cooked from the inside with a virus baste. Skychick returned with food at some point but I barely remember eating it. Eventually I fell asleep.
When I woke up this morning it was sunny outside the hotel window and the fever was gone... just... like... that. It was too early to go downstairs to the hotel cafe for breakfast so I listened to Mastodon - Crack The Skye on the iPod... and I guess I fell back asleep. I thought I was eating a magnificent meal... but then I woke up and realized I had been dreaming and I was fucking starving.
THEN I noticed there was a text message on my iPhone..... from Vic Rattlehead... who I haven't been in touch with since 1992. Yes, there is a story here, but I can't talk about it yet so we'll see where it goes. Stay tuned. Peace sells, but who's buying...
Later this afternoon we'll be moving back into Casa de Umlaut... hauling all of the furniture and the detritus from our lives back inside from the storage unit that's parked on the driveway. I'm just thankful the fever only visited me for around 15 hours... because it would have SUCKED moving stuff while sick.
KISS / Buckcherry Oracle Arena, Oakland, CA November 22, 2009
Earlier in the day, I was a bit bummed that I was missing Heathenfest at the DNA Lounge tonight. The Norwegian band Vreid were on the bill and I've been wanting to check them out ever since I got into their latest album Milorg, a concept album chronicling the Norwegian resistance movement against the Nazis in World War 2 (!). It's Metal AND educational; the liner notes alone are great. Alas, Umlaut can't be everywhere at once... and as events unfolded it was obvious I had made the right choice of events for this Sunday night.
I grew up during the original KISS Generation, and KISS were like my first girlfriend; they were the first Rock band I ever got serious about. However, I was done with them by 1979 after they put out the disco pandering 'I Was Made For Loving You' and while other friends kept their fandom alive over the years, I buried mine before my 15th birthday and moved on. Later in the 20th Century, I saw 2 shows on the Reunion Tour back in 1996-2000 and had a great time at both (1996: Louisiana Superdome with the Melvins supporting.... 2000: Oracle Arena with Ted Nugent...). However, KISS became "KISS" to me when Ace Frehley was kicked out of the band in 2002 and Tommy Thayer donned Ace's makeup and Eric Singer became The Cat in place of Peter Criss; having "replacements" donning the iconic makeup seemed blasphemous and false. The argument has been made that other bands change members all the time, but with KISS there is something very emotional and sacred about the original members that exists for no other band. Although I haven't been a "true" KISS fan in years, I still felt outrage over "imposters" wearing The Spaceman and Cat makeup and could never see being "okay" with it. I felt that way..... until tonight.
After the chilly guest list drama of the night before in San Jose I was a little apprehensive as I approached Will Call. However, as soon as I saw the envelope that had been left in my name I knew we were gonna have ourselves a Lock 'N Loll party tonight!
Umlaut's All Access Laminate (color removed to make it harder for sneaky fucks to counterfeit)
With the magic plastic around our necks there was no way I was going to enter the venue via the civilian entrance, so we walked around to the truck ramp and entered the show properly via the backstage door. We wandered around backstage and checked out catering and the production office before finding our seats... but I didn't stay there long as I went to meet a friend for a drink in the concourse and then found myself backstage again with Wexford Girl and The Bassist.
Wexford Girl introduced me to a couple of KISS' high ranking crew guys and we stood in a hallway chatting as the VIP meet & greet was being organized around us. As we waited I ran into 4-5 former colleagues from "another" merch company where I used to work; although it's been awhile it was nice catching up with them. Then we noticed a commotion at the end of the hallway and suddenly KISS came marching into view to take their place inside the meet & greet room... but as Gene was about to enter the room his attention was distracted by a couple of chicks who seemed to have bum rushed backstage (at the 0:17 second mark of the video):
(Vid by Umlaut)
Also note Paul was air guitaring to Buckcherry (who were onstage at that moment) as he walked into the room.
We waited as the other guests were ushered into the room for their photo op, and at one point KISS' tour manager came back to check on us and asked "Why are these people going in ahead of you?? You should have gone in first.." Say what you will about KISS, but their people really took good care of us (THANKS!). Finally it was our turn, and we were ushered into the room where the band members stood in front of a backdrop. Gene immediately gravitated towards Wexford Girl (of course) and we did a quick pose as the band's photographer took a couple of shots. Eric Singer asked me something and I said something in response and as we were leaving I turned back around, took a couple of steps, stuck out my hand and shook Gene's hand and said something to him... and he said something back... and that was that. I met Gene Simmons and lived.
After our close encounter with Gene & Co. we few, we happy few, laughed our way to a beer vendor for a celebratory cold one and found our seats and minutes later the houselights went down... "Oakland! You wanted the best, and you got it... The hottest band in the world... KISS!!" I was caught completely off guard by how great the band was from the moment they hit the stage with the old school double punch of 'Deuce' > 'Strutter'... Oh man, as soon as they launched into 'Strutter' (perhaps my favorite KISS song) something went off in my head and I was 12-years old again. "Everybody says she's lookin' good.. and the lady knows it's understood... STRUTTER!"
The view from Umlaut's seat.. Section 127..
I'll get this out of the way now: This was THE MOST FUN show of the year. Hands down. No contest... Game over, man... Game over. The entire evening was so easy and everything that a Lock 'N Loll experience should be. I haven't laughed so much at a show in a long time and it's funny how I still know ALL the lyrics to the old KISS songs... and, as much as part of me hated to admit it, Tommy Thayer was GREAT on lead guitar and played Ace's old solos note and nuance perfect and moved around the stage with more energy than Ace ever did.. I know, sacrilege perhaps, but I only speak the truth... However, I did have a problem with Thayer singing Ace's signature song 'Shock Me' and Eric Singer singing Peter Criss' song 'Black Diamond'. At least they didn't have Singer sing 'Beth'.. but 'Shock Me' was just plain wrong.... but my outrage soon disappeared as THE FUN of the show swept me away again (sorry Ace and Peter..). So much FUN... 'Hotter Than Hell' with Gene fire breathing... 'Calling Dr. Love'... 'Parasite'... '100,000 Years'.. 'Shout It Out Loud'.. Gene spitting blood then flying up to the top of the lighting rig to sing 'I Love It Loud'... Say what you will about KISS, but they still put on an amazing Arena Rock show... over the top production and stage design.. and they know how to work a stage and a crowd like few other bands these days.
Two songs off the new Walmart-only CD were played, but I used the first song as an opportunity to hit the bathroom, as did alot of other dudes. Great minds think alike! As I got back to my seat Paul was going into his onstage banter to introduce the next song by saying "When you're feeling down you KNOW there's only ONE THING that will pick you up.." and I shouted "COLD GIN!!" and the dude behind me heard that and said "YEAH!! COLD GIN!!!" At that point I should probably have turned around to high five him, but I didn't.. but a couple of seconds later the band launched into... 'COLD GIN'! You know it's the only thing that keeps us together.
Another aspect of the KISS live experience has always been the cheesy element, especially Paul's between song banter. I wish I had counted how many times he said "PEOPLE!" when addressing the crowd... "PEOPLE listen here..".... "PEOPLE we have a song...".... "PEOPLE!"... and then Paul flew:
Paul Flies During 'Love Gun' (Vid by Umlaut)
What a fucking FUN night.. Say what you will about KISS, but I left the show feeling HAPPY... REALLY HAPPY... and that doesn't happen very often. No, KISS won't change my life at this point.. but they reminded me that life is not bad at all. I still wanna Lock 'N Loll all night and party every day... and it's always funny when a stranger comes up to me at a show and asks "Are you Umlaut??"
Number of Landmine Marathon shirts = 1 (mine). I didn't even bother to try and do a merch audit because the merch area was the size of a small store. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. As I drink my morning coffee and prepare for the chaotic week of home renovation that I have ahead of me, it's nice to know that I can still be 12-years old in my head and have FUN in that innocent way again. Okay, back to the 21st Century.
Earlier in the week, Umlaut found himself riding in a limousine through Hollywood on my way to a business meeting... when I spotted this billboard on Sunset Boulevard:
Since I was seeing the Dethklok / Mastodon tour again 3 days later I thought it was *funny*... Sometimes when you're riding in the back of a limo through Hollywood mundane things seem interesting I guess... but I just noticed that the speed limit sign is upside down... *Funny*. Anyway... I can't remember off hand the last time I saw the first show of a tour and the final show of the same tour. Over a month ago, Umlaut was in Portland and caught opening night of this package tour... and now 50 days later I arrived at the San Jose State gymnasium (for a mind boggling 3rd time this year..) to witness the final night of this trek.
Photo Ray and I arrived early so we could catch High On Fire... but at Will Call those dreaded 4 words stopped us in our tracks: "NOT ON THE LIST!". Goddamnfucksonofabitchfuck! Evidently there was a fuck up with the guest lists and almost nobody had anything waiting for them, press and band guests alike. So for the next hour or so I stood around in the chilly San Jose night with press friends and various photographers waiting for something to happen. Unfortunately at that point I went into Lock 'N Loll survival mode and basically abandoned my friends in order to sort out my situation (SORRY Photo Ray, Hard Rock Chick, and Photo Alan...). Thankfully, Mastodon / High On Fire's manager is a stand up guy and, although he was at home in L.A. and it was a Saturday night, he responded to my text message and put me directly in touch with his tour manager backstage... who got my tickets and passes sorted (THANKS Nick and Dave!).
Since I didn't need the extra ticket, I handed it to a random kid who was walking past me with him Mom.. My Metal good deed for the day. However, even this good deed couldn't make up for completely missing High On Fire's set. Goddamnfucksonofabitchfuck!
Once inside, Umlaut encountered the same scenario as in Portland: A VIP pass that was basically useless. I don't mean to look a gift horse in the mouth (or maybe I do...), but it was annoying that a VIP pass tonight only allowed access to a backstage foyer area next to doors that led outside, but not into any of the adjoining areas or hallways. For comparison, a VIP pass at the recent Slipknot show in the same venue allowed me to mooch food in Catering and watch the Rock Stars up close in their natural habitat. The pass tonight also granted access to a taped off VIP area in the stands at stage left, which was gratuitous at best since "civilians" kept jumping the tape and after awhile security stopped policing the section seriously. I know I'm being a spoiled bitch about this, but generally "VIP" means something more at big Lock 'N Loll shows. It really does... but the Will Call drama had set the tone for my night and I was getting annoyed by alot of things by then. ANYWAY... sorry to be a whiny bitch.. but I'm better now.
I'm not that familiar with Converge, but they reminded me of Gallows in some respects... I was most impressed by the fact that a good portion of the nearly sold out crowd booed them in between songs. I haven't heard a crowd boo a support act in a LONG time and this made me like the band even more. Fuck this mainstream suburban crowd! During their set, I wandered backstage with Wexford Girl and The Bassist and we happened to be standing in the backstage foyer area as Converge came offstage. As the singer passed me I tapped his arm and said "GOOD SET" (which I genuinely meant..) and he actually GRUNTED at me in response! WTF.. The Bassist and I looked at each other and started cracking up. Oh, Rock Stars.. During the break in between bands a beer vendor bonded with a customer over how "AWESOME" High On Fire had been, which featured the beer vendor air guitaring.
Prior to this show I was hesitant about seeing Mastodon again because I was afraid I was burned out on them; this would be the 4th time Umlaut has seen them on this tour, where they have been playing the entire Crack The Skye album. It's one of my favorite albums of the year, but did I really need to see it played in its entirety for the 4th time in 7 months? However, as their set time neared I found myself standing behind Mastodon for the 2nd time in 3 months as they prepared to go onstage. This is what it looked like back in August:
Golden Gate Park, S.F.
As I mentioned / bitched about earlier, the Will Call drama put me in kind of a foul mood and I found myself not being into watching Mastodon at all after awhile. As they started to play 'The Czar' (Track 4 on Crack The Skye...) Wexford Girl and I scampered upstairs to the merch table to check out the product and to get another beer. At the merch table we were shocked to find out that Dethklok had basically sold out of merch already except for a few Small size shirts. Impressive! Never underestimate the power of a band backed by corporate cable television marketing. So... as much as I genuinely love Mastodon... I spent most of their set chatting with people, drinking a beer, and geeking out over a poster for a show I saw at the Event Center a thousand years ago.
Sorry Mastodon... I've been following you a long time dating back to your club days, dudes... and I'll still support you... but my head just wasn't *there* for you tonight. During the break between bands I saw a guy who I had seen earlier who was sporting a black eye and a Slayer shirt. METAL!
I tried to go into the show with an open mind about Dethklok, especially since I had a bad attitude about them in Portland... Also, the new season of Metalocalypse has been fucking genius and LAUGH OUT LOUD hilarious so I wanted to like Dethklok tonight. I really did.. However, my opinion wasn't swayed. Yes, the musicianship is good... but come on. This is a Metal band geared for kids and casual Metal fans... There, I said it... and I LOVE the t.v. show.. but those are cartoon characters.. and the acid test for me is if you take away the animation and t.v. show context would the music stand on its own. IMO: Nope. However, it was impressive watching 7,000 cable television viewers going bonkers.
San Jose screams for its cream..
Anyway, it was a jagged night that my head wasn't really into 100% but it was still fun.. and that's all that matters, right? Photo Ray and I bailed after Dethklok played 'Murmaider' (a song about mermaid murder...) in order to grab food and beer at Gordon Biersch.... which was funny because it was the exact same moment that I bailed out of the Portland show. I have to admit, the lobster tacos and pint of Pilsner at Gordon Biersch were THE most brutally excellent things of the evening for me... During the meal I traded text messages with a friend in NYC about a Slaughter video... WTF. Up all night.. sleep all day.
Most band shirts in the crowd = SLAYER. If you bought one of every Mastodon merch item you would have paid around $200. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. I just read what I've typed here and, man, am I really that spoiled and jaded!? Wow..... I'm looking at the man in the mirror... This morning I woke up to a news report that Michael Jackson's trademark glove sold for over $350,000.. WTF.
Although The Fox only reopened this past February, this was my 5th visit to this already sacred place and it already feels like it's been part of The Bay Area music scene for years... at least to me... and I've finally settled upon where my regular parking spot will be for shows here... so, despite having to cross The Bay Bridge into Oaktown, I'm pretty much done with making my Fox experiences just as surgically precise as shows at the other local venues. Excellent... and it's always funny when a stranger comes up to me at a show and asks "Are you Umlaut??" It's even better when that person is wearing a Motörhead shirt.
It's easy to say that Them Crooked Vultures (TCV) are simply the sum of the associated bands... BUT, as a friend said to me the other day, they also represent the ghosts of two iconic bands that no one will ever see again: Nirvana and Led Zeppelin. It's that mystique which sets TCV apart from pretty much every other band at this moment in time. To be honest, I hadn't paid much attention to TCV... I didn't get caught up in the hype over the Summer when they made their debut... I didn't listen to the album at all when it was streaming online... To be honest I didn't really start paying attention to them until they became part of Umlaut's professional world... I picked up the CD on the day of release, which was only 2 days before this show... and after 3 or 4 listens I was interested in what I heard, but I had a feeling seeing this band live would be what was special about them.
For better or worse, anything Josh Homme does will always be compared to Queens Of The Stone Age now, but he'll always be Kyuss to me (remember when Kyuss played The Bottom Of The Hill? Me too..). I'm not a Foo Fighters fan, but I was deep into Nirvana and the fact that Grohl is behind a drum kit again is pretty amazing (remember when he toured clubs and played drums under the radar with his old band Scream at the height of Nirvana mania? Me too..). The band's live sound was augmented by Alain Johannes on guitar and keyboards. For the newbies: Johannes has played on albums by Queens Of The Stone Age, Spinnerette, and Puscifer.
However, despite these Modern Rock icons, it's the Classic Rock icon who makes TCV special. Without John Paul Jones (JPJ), TCV would be just another average band... The magic that he brings to this project can't really be described with mere words.. and he's shown in the past that he's interested in exploring new and diverse music, having worked with the likes of Diamanda Galas and The Butthole Surfers in the years since his old band broke up.
Despite Dave Grohl being behind the drum kit onstage, my eyes were locked on JPJ almost the entire set. Watching him play was riveting... how he held his bass the same way as I've seen in countless Zeppelin videos and photos... how he played with a supernatural sense of ease and also with a inspirational joy; when JPJ smiled during songs it was like 40 years of Rock music history blessing the event... and it was riveting how JPJ switched between instruments so effortlessly. During the 90 minute performance JPJ played the following instruments:
some bizarre instrument that was part bass / part electronic thing.. I couldn't figure out what it was.
I think the magic of JPJ's presence hit everyone over the head during the song 'Reptiles' when his retro funky bass playing blew the roof off The Fox. WOW... and the sold out audience's response after every song was thunderous.. During JPJ's keyboard solo / interlude later in the set I swear I could hear the hundreds of Led Zeppelin fanboys (and girls) in the room screaming with delight... I'm serious... and the man seems ageless! How old is he really?! The answer: 63... He's amazing!
My head finally exploded during the last song of the set. Midway through that final song JPJ moved next to Grohl's drum kit, his back to the audience, and the two locked eyes and they synched into a groove that got my head spinning (or maybe it was from the contact high from all the weed being smoked around me..)... and then Homme moved next to them, with his back also to the audience, and he locked his guitar into the groove too... and that's when my head exploded. It was as if TCV's final statement to the Oakland crowd was "We're a BAND and not simply some iconic musicians playing together to make a quick buck." Onstage TCV are a BAND; you can't fake chemistry like that. Magic. For the record, Homme drank 2 beers and a half a bottle of vodka onstage. Magic.
On another note: Exactly one year ago to the day, Umlaut closed the book on what was the worst professional experience I've ever had.. What made it so painful was that it should have been the most amazing professional experience ever because it involved representing and working on bands who are sacred to me... Fast forward a year from that low point and karma payback is an amazing thing to watch AND experience.. and the fact that I was seeing THIS band on THIS date was amazing and I was tripping hard on it all day. The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways, man.
Members of Metallica = 2. If you bought one of every TCV merch item you would have paid around $150; it's nice to know TCV's merch in the future will be in good hands.. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Not to be a buzzkill, but I just have to say that the After Show scene was, like, totally LAME. Oh well... at least the drive back to Casa de Umlaut was fast and easy.
Next year is starting off Old School with The American Carnage Tour!!
Awesome, right?! Megadeth / Slayer / Testament.... Dude, the San Francisco show is at the fucking COW PALACE!! The site of so many Hard Rock and Metal shows in the 70's and early 90's (including the original Clash Of The Titans Tour with Slayer and Megadeth)! I can guarantee you that many Old Metalheads are squealing like little school girls about this show being at that venue. It doesn't get more Old School than the Cow Palace!
Instead of a merch audit Umlaut will be counting the number of drunken brawls on the floor that night. A note for the newbies: The crowd action on the GA Floor will be medieval, epic, and Old School. Umlaut is expecting the night to be reminiscent of the Glory Days of Metal shows when posers paid the price... and, assuming the Cow Palace hasn't upgraded their facilities, visit the bathrooms at your own risk.
"Blasting our way through the boundaries of Hell.. no one can stop us tonight.."
Devo The Regency Ballroom, San Francisco November 7, 2009
Devo marched into San Francisco for a two night stand to perform their seminal debut album on the 1st night and their breakthrough Freedom Of Choice album the next night. The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways and I found myself with a +1 for the 2nd night and for the 2nd time in 3 days I found myself seeing a band from Ohio.
All Music Geeks know that the band's classic Live EP from 1980 was recorded at The Warfield in S.F.. Although I grew up during the Devo Generation I was not a fan as a kid; in 1980 when Freedom Of Choice came out my favorite bands were Cheap Trick, Van Halen, and Black Sabbath... but I came to be a fan as I grew older and wiser. The last time I saw Devo was way back at Lollapalooza 1996 when they shared the main stage with Metallica, Soundgarden, The Ramones, Rancid, and Screaming Trees. In hindsight, that was a helluva bill..
Fast forward to the 21st Century and this was probably the easiest show of the entire year for Umlaut... Lori Acid King and I breezed through the overbearing Regency security check and got to the Will Call table... where the woman acted as if she knew me (I'm sorry.. I didn't remember her!) and complimented my Cheap Trick shirt before handing me the passes from my guest list envelope... Then we got a beer and found seats at the rail in something called the "Reserved Seating Area - Proper Pass Required" section directly above the soundboard. Fucking perfect; all shows should be this easy.
I've never seen the floor of The Regency as packed as it was tonight; it was solid humans from wall to wall and I was thankful to be above all of that, but the mood in the room was nothing but happy. The houselights went down at 10:00pm and the vintage music videos from the Freedom Of Choice era were shown on the screen behind the stage: 'Girl U Want', 'Whip It' (best MTV video ever?), and 'Freedom Of Choice'... As soon as the last video played the band came onstage and a Card Guy walked to the front of the stage holding a sign that read "Track 1" and the band launched into 'Girl U Want'... and for the next 35 minutes Devo rolled through the Freedom Of Choice album, with each song being introduced by the Card Guy and his signs. FUNNY! 'Gates Of Steel' is one of Umlaut's favorite songs, so of course that was my favorite of the night.
'Gates Of Steel'
It was a solid performance... fueled by nostalgia of course... but it was solid fun. After the main set, the band returned for an encore of 'Be Stiff' and 'Beautiful World'. The latter featured an appearance by Booji Boy, who told the crowd that if Michael Jackson could dig his way out of his grave he'd agree with the song. I think we'd all like to believe that, right?
Devo's set ran 55 minutes.. The houselights came up.. I drove Lori Acid King home.. I stopped at Taqueria Cancun to get a burrito to go.. I docked the Prius back at Casa de Umlaut at exactly 11:37pm.. It was an insanely easy surgically precise night. THANKS to Tour Manager Doug for sorting my +1 even though he's in the middle of conquering Europe again.
Trivia: Yes, this is the same Tour Manager Doug whose first concert was Devo on the Freedom Of Choice Tour at the Phoenix Theater in Petaluma, CA (a show that is available on DVD!) and who can be seen wearing one of his Devo shirts circa 1984 in the Slayer box set.
Tour Manager Doug and his Devo shirt with Slayer, Exodus, and Suicidal Tendencies (Pic from Slayer's Soundtrack to the Apocalypse box set)
If you bought one of every Devo merch item you would have paid around $290. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. I can't remember the last time I've seen a non-festival headlining band play such a short set, but you can't talk shit about Devo! Everyone leaving the venue seemed happy from the show... and that's all that matters. "A man is real... not made of steel.."
This was Night #2 of Alternative Tentacles' 3-Night 30th Anniversary celebration with each night featuring Jello as headliner with his most recent band (The Guantanamo School Of Medicine) supported by different AT bands. I would love to have seen Alice Donut and Victim's Family on the final night, but since Umlaut had to choose I of course got a ticket to the night when the mighty Ludicra were on the bill.
However, for the 3rd gig in a row the attendance at this show was shockingly small; as with Rob Zombie and Puscifer *something* kept the crowds away... and in the case of tonight I would bet that *something* was there was simply too much going on in San Francisco, with a packed Dinosaur Jr. show across town at The Fillmore and a sold out Devo show only a couple of blocks away at The Regency. However, whereas the small crowds at the Zombie and Puscifer shows had been a negative distraction to me, it was the complete opposite for Jello's party. The small crowd actually added to the positive, special quality of the night... and this was quite simply THE MOST FUN show of the year!! No shit.
We arrived in time to see the awkwardly named Munly & the Lupercalians and I felt a bit dubious about them as they walked onstage because they looked bizarre: 5 members... 4 of them wearing hoods... 2 of the members (the percussionists) wore execution style hoods with nooses around their necks... The main percussionist played a MEAT SMOKER as a drum... Another 2 members, who were stationed on either side of the stage behind impressive vintage wooden organ shells that had new electronic keyboards installed in them, wore black robes and impressive peaked hoods. Only the vocalist appeared without a costume as he sang and alternately played guitar and banjo. To be honest, after my reaction to the self-indulgent Puscifer production the other night, I was bracing myself to be underwhelmed by Munly & the Lupercalians.
To my complete surprise, they were GREAT!! Their set was the most purely musical performance I've seen all year; a hypnotic combination of Folk, Country, and even some Goth with the costumes actually adding to the dense atmosphere of the songs. It was like taking a ride down a dark road at night with only one headlight working and the AM radio stuck on the same station.. I was completely caught up in their tales and vibe... as was Jello, who stood front and center their entire set. Afterwards I went straight to the merch table to buy their CD... only to be told they haven't released one yet! However the band's leader, Munly, has released 4 albums on AT over the past decade... so I guess I better play catch up with his work now... and, much to my surprise, Munly and his band were the perfect lead-in to the all out dark volume assault of Ludicra.
It had been just over 2 months since I last saw Ludicra and in that time they've completed work on their highly anticipated new album. The stage lights were dimmed for the entire set and the local Metal heroes played an amazingly brutal 5 song / 45 minute slot that included 3 of the new tracks.. This was a performance that I can't fully describe using mere words... Ludicra are such a well-oiled force of nature onstage that it's beyond comprehension why they're not more well known outside of the Bay Area... At least 3x after a song I said "AMAZING!" out loud to no one in particular; it was easily one of the best sets I've seen all year. As she handed me the setlist afterwards, Laurie explained that the new songs were referred to in "numbered code". Hmm... METAL.
Within the limitations of the English language, the only thing that comes close to expressing how I felt about Ludicra's set is "FUCKING LUDICRA!!!"... The Bay Area has one of the most vibrant underground Metal scenes in the world and Ludicra are the headliners, but it was funny that aside from the band there were only 5-6 other card carrying Metalheads in the crowd.
As I said earlier, this show was not crowded at all... However, it didn't make the event "sad". It simply didn't matter how many people were in the room, because everyone was there for the right reason: FOR THE MUSIC... you could sense it.. well at least I could.
When Jello took the stage to host his party you could tell he had the same attitude... and the set that followed was every bit as great as his 50th Birthday Celebration had been in this same room last year. I can't remember the last time I was right up front for a show, but there I was and it was damn FUN.. Jello weaved, bobbed, and mugged his way around the stage as he and the band (led by Victim's Family guitar ace Ralph Spight on ripping lead axe..) ran through some great and inspired new songs and also some Dead Kennedys nuggets like 'Bleed For Me' (which featured Jello in the crowd), 'California Über Alles', and 'Holiday In Cambodia'.
Jello in the crowd during 'Bleed For Me' (Pic by Photo Ray)
This show transported Umlaut back to my formative years when it didn't matter how many people were in whatever club or dive bar I found myself in seeing a band ... All that mattered is that we were all there for the same reason and we (both the crowd AND the bands) let ourselves get caught up in the vibe and the volume. If it had been a different show I might have regretted not going to one of the other gigs in town... but I regretted NOTHING on this night and I know the members of the Umlaut Nation who were with me felt the same way (a shout out to Timo, Johnny, Photo Ray, and Tscam)! It was cool to look around at friends and strangers and we were all grinning from ear to ear and having a blast.
On one hand it was a shame that this quintessential "only in San Francisco" event was overshadowed attendance-wise by out of town touring bands. However, in this case size simply didn't matter. The spirit of the S.F. Music Scene, past and present, was alive and well in the Great American and it was a joyous and raucous thing.. It also reminded me how much I love my hometown and how fortunate I was to have grown up and become a Music Geek in The Bay Area.
I didn't do a merch audit, but AT was selling vinyl albums for only $10 a pop! Old Skool! On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. I'm still a little buzzed from the FUN of this show.. and instead of going out tonight I think I'm going to stay in and finally watch Milk... San Francisco Über Alles!
Umlaut has been going to Metal shows almost exclusively this year for one reason or another... so I was looking forward to this show since it would be something completely different.. and it was... for better or worse.
For the newbies: Puscifer is a side project of Maynard Keenan of Tool. The last time I saw Maynard onstage was around the corner at The Paramount when Tool played there in 2006. I basically knew nothing about Puscifer prior to the show, other than Tim Alexander of Primus is one of the drummers. According to Wikipedia, the band's original name was "Umlaut".. Hmmm.
I'm going to break with form here and say I'm simply not motivated to write about Puscifer. It's not that I disliked the music... On the contrary I didn't mind the music at all and I'm a fan of Maynard's vocals... BUT I was not engaged by the presentation at all. I kind of got it.. it was theater... it was social commentary... etc. etc... I simply wasn't in the mood to invest that much effort in it. This is completely 100% on me. Instead of trying to rationalize why I didn't like Puscifer's performance, I'll simply refer you to a positive and informed Puscifer review by Umlaut Nation friend Hard Rock Chick and move on.
The reason I was even at the show was because Uncle Scratch's Gospel Revival (USGR) put me on their guest list via Umlaut Nation and USGR friend Jim (Hey Jim!). USGR are the duo of Brother Eddie and Brother Ant from Cleveland who "preach" the gospel with a wreckless punk rock-like abandon. They remind me of Doo Rag in how they perform low-fi music through low-fi instruments; a USGR motto taped to Ant's cardboard drum kit said "Low Fi On and Jesus High". Ant plays a beaten up Telecaster through tiny amps and Eddie plays "drums" on an amazing combination of cardboard barrels, a snare drum, a cymbal, and an old metal milk crate in place of a hi-hat. Ant sings through a shitty mic and Eddie does backing vocals and addresses the crowd through a megaphone via junky microphones attached to either a harmonica holder around his neck or on a vintage football helmet. Evidently Maynard absolutely loves USGR and he handpicked them to open this tour and they also appear onstage during Puscifer's set.
As we approached The Fox, USGR were out in front *protesting* the show and railing against the "evils" of Rock Music. It was pretty funny, but at the time I didn't realize that most of the crowd thought Brother Ed was Maynard; evidently Maynard appears in a recent Puscifer video and *looks* and acts similar to Brother Ed. I haven't seen the video, but thus began my evening amongst The Cult Of Maynard...
Umlaut with Brother Ant and Brother Ed of Uncle Scratch's Gospel Revival (Pic by Photo Ray)
Not long after entering the venue I realized how many people had thought Brother Ed was Maynard when I overheard ALOT of people saying a variation of "Yeah! Maynard was out front harrassing people!" etc. etc. Bizarre... but since I'm not completely versed in Puscifer I didn't know just how plausible this was to The Cult Of Maynard.
Later, after USGR's inspirational set, the Brother Ed > Maynard misidentification continued when the guys sitting to my right were raving about how "crazy" Maynard had been onstage... I felt like saying something, but I didn't. Then at the bar another guy was CONVINCED that Maynard was the drummer in USGR (Trivia: Evidently Maynard plays drums... I had no idea..) and when I attempted to explain that USGR are really a band from Cleveland he cut me off and said something like "Man, I'm a HUGE Maynard fan... and I KNOW that was him... and despite what you're saying I WANT to believe that it was him..." I kind of looked at him and thought "Ooookaaay, koo koo for Coco Puffs..." It's not like we were talking about Motörhead so I let it go. "I WANT to believe that it was him..." The Cult Of Maynard.
However, when Puscifer's set began I thought the joke was on ME! After a brief film introduction featuring Maynard as a General, Brother Ant and Brother Ed came onstage to address the crowd... and for a couple of minutes I thought that maybe I had been kept in the dark about Ed's "true" identity, because in sunglasses and without a baseball cap he did look like Maynard... and even when Maynard made his entrance onstage it still wasn't clear because he was in costume wearing a funny comb-over wig while riding a Segway. It wasn't until the 3rd song of the set that I chilled out and realized Maynard was Maynard onstage when he finally revealed himself sans costume... and then a couple of songs later Brother Ant and Brother Ed came onstage again as part of the shows theatrics. Soon after that I got bored and bailed to join Photo Ray at the bar and the first thing I said to him was "METAL".
As we watched the last moments of the set from the bar, someone came up to me and said "Are you Brian?"... I didn't know who the guy was... but then I realized it was Brother Ed talking in his "normal" voice! It caught me completely off guard that he was out of character. Hilarious! He was soon joined by Ant and it was cool to chat with them about how USGR got hooked up with Maynard (he randomly saw them playing in a club in Arizona..) and how well he's been treating them since they're not used to "big Rock tours" like Puscifer's. Ed also told more tales about getting mistaken for Maynard and how trippy / funny that is.. When I asked Ed what they were going to do after the Puscifer tour he said "Go back to playing on the sidewalk in Cleveland.." AMEN! Uncle Scratch's Gospel Review are the best God Squad band since Stryper.
After show with Brother Ed... or is it Maynard?
If you had bought one of every Puscifer merch item you would have paid around $725 (!); they had ALOT of merch. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. It struck me this morning that parts of Puscifer's presentation (the parts I paid attention to..) addressed the "cult" theme that I experienced... Jesus' image on toast.. I'm sure there are some Maynard devotees who see his face in toast. Religion is anywhere you can find it I guess... I should have paid more attention to Puscifer... Oh well... cue Uncle Scratch's Gospel Review!
Rob Zombie San Jose State Event Center, San Jose, CA November 3, 2009
Prior to this show Umlaut's afternoon unfolded like this: Bought the limited edition version of the new Slayer album on the day of release > hellacious rush hour traffic going towards San Jose > coffee pit stop (latte!) > my favorite old skool San Jose taqueria (Super Taq!) > easy free street parking 2 blocks from the venue.
I was into White Zombie for awhile back in The Day (Remember when they played the DNA Lounge? Me too..) but after Rob Zombie went solo I became more of a fan of his style rather than his music.. I like his whole Horror aesthetic alot, but I can only say I like maybe 3 of his solo songs.. maybe 2. The only reason I wanted to attend this show was to see what kind of extravagant show Zombie would stage... However, the overriding thought in my head going in was how this was the 2nd time in 2 weeks I was visiting the Event Center for a gig after having only been to the venue once in the previous 14 years (!). Remember when White Zombie headlined the Event Center in 1995 with Babes In Toyland and the Melvins supporting? Me too.
As we entered the venue, the next thought in my head was "Wow, this place is really empty..".. and it really was empty! Unlike the sold out Slipknot show a couple of weeks ago, the bleachers of the Event Center had been pulled out to fill up as much of the floor as possible and 1/4 of the seats on either side of the stage were blocked off by curtains; sure signs of *light* ticket sales. However, even with these optical illusions in place, it was obvious the Event Center attendance was not ideal; my guess is around 2,500 in the 7,000 capacity space, which surprised me. It was empty to the point where they were actually taking down 1 of the only 2 merchandise stands BEFORE the headliner came on because the lobby was basically a ghost town... and the show was so empty an usher AND a supervisor guarded a pile of vomit while a mop was retrieved...
WTF!? Guarding a pile of vomit?! This was a CONCERT for dog's sake, not a mall! Vomit is a concert hazard that dates back to the dawn of time, but that's the kind of slow night it was at the Event Center. Also, there were literally no kids in the audience! I know it was a school night, but it was still very weird and it gave me the feeling that I was at a Classic Rock show... with an *older* act whose best creative days musically are in the past playing for an *older* audience wanting to spend an evening reliving their past.
That being said, Rob Zombie and his band know how to work a crowd and John 5 is one of my favorite guitarists to watch perform. The stage production featured cool video graphics, the familiar 10-foot robot from past tours during 'More Human Than A Human', and raised box platforms at the front of the stage that Zombie, John 5, and bassist Piggy D. used constantly to interact with the front row and beyond... and, despite several problems with his mic during the first half of the set, Zombie's onstage charisma is still undeniable.
Now, with that being said, despite the charisma and the confidence, Zombie has always lacked songs... There, I said it. The majority of his songs tend to have that same electro-rhythm sample running through them that makes the songs more *Dance* than *Metal*, which I guess is the whole idea. Eventhough this was my 3rd time seeing him solo since White Zombie disbanded, to my ears Zombie's songs sound dated here in the 21st Century. I just kept thinking how this was Classic Rock for the Affliction crowd now... Although it was funny watching how old hits like 'Living Dead Girl' and 'Dragula' seemed to make all the women around me, and some of the guys, want to jump on the nearest stripper pole.
It's interesting that for most of the past decade, Zombie has become more well-known because of his films rather than his music... and I think the attendance tonight reflected this change of focus. It actually might be a relevant career move for Zombie to follow the Anvil live model and stage shows that feature a screening of one of his movies followed by a live performance by Rob Zombie: Rock Star. I'm not saying that Umlaut would pay to see that, but it would be a credible way for him to combine his two worlds so he's not playing in front of a half empty college gymnasium again.
If you bought one of every Rob Zombie merch item you would have paid around $420. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Given the number of great shows Umlaut has seen this year to date, I have to say this was not one of them... but it was still an extremely easy and fun night... and ultimately that's all that matters... AND I had the new Slayer album to listen to on the drive home!
Going into the show I didn't know much about Secrets Of The Moon other than (1) they are from Germany (2) they are on their first tour of the States and (3) Umlaut friend Midwest Metal Tom gave their recent Chicago show a positive review.
Secrets Of The Moon
This was a packaged bill with Moonspell and Divine Heresy... neither of whom I wanted to see... I was only there to see Secrets Of The Moon. Sorry, just being honest. Anyway, Halloween was in the air... but you'll never guess what color everyone was wearing in the club.... Nope! It was BLACK.. I know, right?
Unfortunately, they flip flopped the running order of the lineup tonight and Divine Heresy went on first; it was unfortunate because we had to suffer through their set. I don't want to waste too much time on this: The guitarist from Fear Factory is in the band. They were awful. Divine Heresy are the kind of Jock Metal band that ruined Metal for so long. A glance at the pit said it all: Mostly bald white boyz shoving one another; it wasn't even a proper pit... They were just shoving each other. Awful... but there were enough knuckle draggers in the house to make the band's set a success, and it bummed me out that crap had triumphed.
In hindsight it was probably a good thing that Divine Heresy played before Secrets Of The Moon (SOTM), because it gave the night perspective. It's always a little more interesting seeing a Metal band from Europe, if only because they've traveled all that way to play. You can generally tell if a band is from Continental Europe because they're wearing engineer boots. Check it out sometime.
I'll just cut to the chase: SOTM owned San Franfuckingcisco on this night.... COMPLETELY. Watching them reminded me of the first time I heard Celtic Frost... at least that's what popped into my head. You could tell this was a seasoned band and they made the absolute most of their time onstage... No bullshitting... No "It's so nice to be here on our first visit to America" banter... They didn't even really *look* at the audience... It was like they were looking past the audience into a void and they were playing their music to appease that void... I'm serious, man. SOTM performed on another, higher level than most bands that I've seen recently.
Although I was entranced by the entire band's performance, the rhythm section of LSK (that's her "name"...) and Thelemnar (that's his "name"...) was tight, I was particularly caught up in the black TONE that Ar (that's his "name"...) created on rhythm guitar as he wielded a 7-string Schecter axe. Evidently Ar is only a member of the touring band; interesting. At one point in their set, frontman sG (that's his "name"...) addressed the audience and said "We are Secrets Of The Moon and we are from The Old World.." He said that in such a matter-of-fact, confident, and bold way that I felt like I was only an infant in the presence of this band who had traveled from a country whose history extends back to Roman Times... and I wanted to join them to stare into that void they were trying to appease... and I did.. and I will.
After SOTM we headed back out into the black San Francisco night before Moonspell's set. I'm not a fan... just being honest. After SOTM there was no reason to watch another band on this night anyway.
If you bought one of every Secrets Of The Moon merch item you would have paid $40... and I did. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. According to the Umlaut Archives this was my 74th gig of 2009 and it's pretty fucking cool that at this point in the year I saw a band who blew me away.... COMPLETELY.
Umlaut rolled over to The Independent EARLY (like, 5:30pm)... mainly so I could get some hangtime with my bruthas Black Cobra but also to avoid the pain of trying to park later in the evening. Parking around The Independent is THE worst for any venue in S.F.. Awful. However, my effort paid off as I scored a parking space no more than 100 feet from the venue's entrance. Appropriately, as I got out of the Prius, Black Cobra (Jason and Rafa) were just finishing their load-in, so meeting up with them was just... that... easy. I hadn't seen the lads since just before they left for their 17-date Japan / Australian tour over a month ago so it was good seeing them again... and this show was only the 6th one in their current 24-city U.S. trek with Pelican that runs into December. Road Dogs!
During soundcheck I realized that the thought of getting food afterwards is the best part of a soundcheck if you're not in the band. Dude, I was starving... but the band's run through of the new song 'Chronosphere' sounded really good.
While the band finalized their gear and merch setup, I met up with Dave outside and we headed down the block to Fly, where we were soon joined by the Road Dogs Rafa and Jason. Over dinner we discussed Black Metal, recent Horror movies, and the band's just-completed tour of Japan and Australia. It was cool spending some time with my bruthas just shooting the shit... Not long into the meal, Rafa's friend arrived and informed us that the fucking Bay Bridge was shut down because a cable had snapped, smashed some cars, and generally the entire Bay Area had been thrown into chaos. Metal.
Oddly this leg of the tour featured another band with "cobra" in their name; when was the last time you saw that? Sweet Cobra from Chicago were the first band on... and they were alright... but for whatever reason I kept flashing back to Unsane and that awesome 90's band from Austin, Ed Hall, during their set. Now, I'm not really saying that's who they sound like.. I'm just saying those are the references that flashed in my head as I 50% watched them and 50% went to the bar... Just being honest.
I've ranted about Rafa and Jason in this space plenty of times and how they're simply a force of nature onstage... and I've said before how I trip on how their timings and song structures are more akin to Jazz than Metal. That being said, Black Cobra's new material takes them to even higher levels, with added dynamics that few (if any) 2 piece bands can pull off. Watching them again tonight from up close, I was also profoundly reminded what a tight unit these two musicians are... Not to get too deep into their lives, but Rafa and Jason's brotherhood / friendship is not unlike Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee's (but without the furry feet and homoerotic undertone). They interact onstage in a way that few bands do... They don't speak to one another, but their cues are simply a nod or a look... It's pretty inspiring to watch such mayhem and creativity being performed in such a natural and honest way. The two of them form an aural fist that bludgeons in a way that pulverizes your insides, but your skin isn't broken so there's no blood.... at least that's how Black Cobra live makes me feel. For the record, the band's new song 'Lightning In His Hand' just might be my favorite song of the year.
Wow... after Black Cobra I knew I wasn't going to be engaged by Pelican... Sorry, just being honest. Pelican sounded good during their soundcheck, but granted I was standing outside of the club on the sidewalk talking to Rafa and Jason at the time. I'm not completely sold on Metal bands who play all instrumentals... There needs to be something more for me to get my head around than simply riffs and drumming no matter how good the riffs might be. Pelican are all good musicians, but within minutes of them hitting the stage I kept waiting for a singer to hit the stage... and for me, any Metal instrumental has to be compared to Iron Maiden's classic instrumentals 'Genghis Khan' and 'Transylvania' and I've yet to hear anything to match those. Sorry... just being honest.
Anyway... It was a great night centered around friends as much as volume, since many Umlaut friends were in the house to support Black Cobra. Bottom line: It was nice to welcome the boys home... even if it was for only one night. Keep it real and safe out there you Road Dogs! See you in December..
If you had bought one of each Black Cobra merch item you would have paid just over $100. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Umlaut docked the Prius back at Casa de Umlaut at just past 10:30pm... a surgically precise, feel good evening.
I didn't think it was possible, but for one magical night it was 1992 in San Francisco again. The city was transported back to a time before the Dotcom Boom brought clueless Hipsters and sky high rents and housing prices to town... a time when S.F.'s music scene was magical and there were at least twice as many venues and warehouse spaces where bands could play. For one magical night it felt like The Scene when I first moved to S.F., when GOOD music and EDGY art intertwined with like-minded people who Umlaut could relate to... a time when I met souls who became some of my dearest friends. Time Travel does exist... sometimes.
I arrived at Varnish early so that I could hang out with Acid King (because 2/3 of the band are like family to me) and also to meet Ufomammut and watch their soundcheck. They were visiting all the way from Italy for the first time and this was 1 of only 2 Stateside shows they were playing. Without geeking out too much, it was an extremely cool scene with poster art on display from the Italian artist collective Malleus (which includes 2 of Ufomammut's members) and Umlaut friends Secret Serpents.
This will definitely go down as one of my favorite nights of the year! So many friends from different eras of my life were in the house; journalist friends, band friends, music scene friends, and some of my best friends. Everyone gathered together with other like minded people for loud music and art appreciation. DJ's Justin and Heather pulled off some amazing transitions in their spins prior to the bands playing... Arthur Brown's 'Fire' into Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow 'Stargazer'... and then playing all of Side 1 of Slayer's South Of Heaven after an obscure Folk Rock song. Brilliant.... AND Dust was also in the mix!
Dust - Hard Attack album!
Their spins definitely set the tone and the mood for the rest of my evening.
According to the Umlaut Archives this was at least my 27th (!) time seeing Acid King dating back to the very beginning in 1993... Amazing.. AND this was only their 2nd hometown show in 3 years. What's up with that? Despite the downsized sound system due to the small space, The King got into an insane GROOVE right away and it was one of those sets where I found myself closing my eyes and getting swept away on their volume wave. The King have been one of those bands who I've followed since Day 1 and it's really cool how their sound and style has developed over the years to become what it is right now. Magic flying carpets do exist... at least this one woven out of volume and weaved by Lori, Joey, and Mark. Wuv you guys! Awww...
Ufomammut had me hooked during their soundcheck... when my first reaction was "Holy fuck... listen to Poia's guitar TONE"... Crushing. Besides dealing volume with their band, Poia (guitar) and Urlo (bass/vox) are also members of the Malleus artist collective whose work was on display. Their presence tonight was a really inspiring combination of their music and graphic art. Despite playing on borrowed equipment, the Italians laid down a road that was paved with volume and my head was immediately immersed in their GROOVE.. and their brand of Doom Metal is simply on another level from other bands in the genre like Sunn O))) IMO. My head was blown, dude.
Ufomammut Soundcheck
Unfortunately, I had to make one of those tough life decisions halfway through Ufomammut's set because I had a ticket for the WAY sold out Mummies reunion show across town at Bottom Of The Hill. I was so torn... but the Mummies are one of my all-time favorite bands.. and as I looked at my watch and it was nearing 11:30pm and friends who were at the Mummies texted me they were about to go onstage, I sucked it up and quickly left the gallery.. with the Italians' volume following me down the street and I imagined volume fingers trying to grab my shoulders and pull me back to their show.. Seriously.
Ufomammut CDs were 2 for only $20 (including a CD / DVD set!)... What a bargain!! On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Unfortunately, the amazing vibe of the event was tempered by the knowledge that the space Varnish occupies, as well as the entire block of buildings around it, will be demolished by next June to make way for the new Transbay Bus Terminal; the anti-eminent domain protest sign at the gallery's entrance said it all. So much for a revitilization of S.F.'s soul... but for one night all was right in the world on Natoma Street.
I ran 2 red lights on Potrero Avenue after coming off the freeway in my mad dash to get to the Mummies. HOWEVER, I made sure no one was coming in either direction of course... I simply treated the red lights like stop signs. Whew... I feel better admitting that... and about 20 minutes later I was walking into... The Mummies Bottom Of The Hill, San Francisco October 24, 2009
Hell officially froze over on Potrero Hill tonight: The Mummies played again!! Un-be-lievable... For the newbies: The Mummies were a fixture on the S.F. Music Scene in the early-90's and have been one of Umlaut's favorite bands seemingly forever. Last year they played their first shows in 15 years (!) in New York and on a brief European Tour, but they also squeezed in a secret show in Oakland as a warm up... which Umlaut heard about AFTERWARDS. I was beyond bummed.
Fast forward to just over a month ago and I noticed a casual announcement that the Mummies would be headlining this year's Budget Rock Festival in S.F.. DOH!!! Advance tickets to this show sold out literally within hours and they eventually added an early show for this same night down the street at Thee Parkside so the band could simply walk over to Bottom Of The Hill for the late show.
I rolled into Bottom Of The Hill and went straight to the bar... and asked for a water. Amazingly, I had driven across town in time to catch most of The Mummies set and was able to be there for my favorite songs... especially the double shot of 'Stronger Than Dirt' > '(You Must Fight To Live) On The Planet Of The Apes'!! FUN! Amazing!
It was like no time had passed since The Old Dayz and it was trippy seeing Tina from The Trashwomen in the house since they, along with the Mummies, were a band that helped to define the crazy, eclectic nature of the S.F. Music Scene 15-18 years ago. Time flies, man.... time flies. The Mummies sounded great, played great, were damn funny... and damn ROCKING at a level in that loose Garage Rock way that bands today can't seem to fully attain; despite their gimmicky image The Mummies have never seemed forced.. It's always been like they were from another planet (Well.. Daly City... same thing I guess..). I can't understate what a feeling of amazing deja vu I felt all night... From the awesome and engaging evening at Varnish Gallery to seeing the fucking MUMMIES again! Maybe there is hope to save San Franfuckingcisco from the Hipsters after all... Maybe.
Mummies shirts were $15 and came with one of the best hang tags ever. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. After the show I had to sit in the Prius for a minute or so to collect my thoughts and clear my head... I then said a silent prayer to my long departed Festiva, which had served me so well back in The Old Dayz, and then hit the Start button on the Prius here in the 21st Century and headed back to Casa de Umlaut.
Slipknot / Deftones San Jose State Event Center, San Jose, CA October 23, 2009
Slipknot are another band who has crossed professional paths with Umlaut in the past. While I can't say I'm a huge fan, I do like their image and aesthetic... which translated well to this piece of merch that I made happen awhile back:
Umlaut... helping to swag up Rock Stars... one item at a time. Although that professional relationship has since run its course it was cool that it still earned me an envelope at Will Call.
The Events Center is just about my least favorite Bay Area venue. It's nothing more than a concrete sweatbox college gymnasium, but given its medium size (7,000 capacity) it's been hosting more concerts again recently. According to the Umlaut Archives, I've seen a good number of shows in the space dating back to 1991 (including Alice In Chains, Beastie Boys, Motörhead, etc..). However, given that it was a Friday night, this was a good excuse for a road trip with Umlaut's serious music journalist friends Photo Ray and Hard Rock Chick down to the valley of my birth.
After watching some of the Deftones set from stage right, we wandered backstage and ended up in the Catering Room. I helped myself to a cup of coffee as Slipknot's Jim Root held a meet and greet with a family on the other side of the small room. It was funny watching him talk to the kids and their parents through his mask, but I was taken aback by how nice and sweet (yes, sweet) he was to the kids! He posed for pictures with them and instructed them to hold their hands in The Claw so they would look "METAL!". He also made sure they got all the autographs they wanted and gave them a copy of the night's setlist (autographed of course). After Root left the room we realized that the kids were there because of the Make-A-Wish Foundation; one of the kids was terminally ill and obviously Slipknot are his favorite band. WOW... The kid, who was probably around 12-years old, got very excited when he saw that 'Duality' was being included in the setlist; I wanted to throw The Horns at him because he was so happy!
Not long after this drummer Joey Jordison entered the room and treated the kids with exactly the same amount of kindness. I seriously became a bigger Slipknot fan just from witnessing this interaction; it was beyond cool. The family was told the other band members would be coming to meet them shortly... but at that time we decided to leave and watch the rest of the Deftones set from stage left this time.
After a reasonable setup time between bands, Van Halen's 'Runnin' With The Devil' blasted from the PA and then the houselights went down and it was time for The Maggots to go off. Slipknot are a great live band and you can't argue with that despite what you might think of their music. Onstage they have great stage production, the nine members are non-stop mayhem, they know how to work a big crowd, and their fans are rabid; a Slipknot crowd is the type that sings along to every song while beating the crap out of each other... I watched most of the show standing next to the lighting guy on a raised platform that was just behind the soundboard. Before Slipknot hit the stage I noticed an odd effects board set up on the platform that had been taped off with a pentagram:
It was an odd place for an effects board, but I forgot about it once the show started. Then at one point midway through the show the lighting guy and another crew guy motioned for myself and the other VIP guests to move off the platform, so we stepped down into the empty row of seats just behind the platform. I couldn't figure out why they had us do this, but thought maybe they were going to blow pyro or something.
However, the next thing I knew the band's percussionists Clown and Chris Fehn had climbed onto the platform where we had just been standing after wading through the crowd from the stage! I still don't know what they did, but basically Clown fell face first onto the effects board I'd noticed earlier and proceeded to scream into a microphone as Chris stomped on the effects pedals on the board. Then Clown stood up, kicked the board away, and the two of them made their way back to the stage as the crowd around us went nuts... Then myself and the other VIP guests were allowed to return to the platform. Funny and bizarre.. but the fans loved it.. whatever it was...
I was actually really into the show for about half of the set, but then something hit that has happened to me every time I've seen Slipknot: I literally hit a wall and all of the songs started to sound the same to me... and the onstage action also took on a routine tone to me. Clown's riser would go up, other members ran around, Clown's riser would go down... repeat.. repeat.. repeat. At that point I decided to be proactive and shake my experience up, so I waded through the masses and watched the rest of the main set from backstage at stage left.
Since I was basically behind the PA from that angle the sound sucked, but I spent the time watching the sold out crowd go off. I felt envious watching the faces of the kidz at the rail who knew all the lyrics and who had that maniacal fan look in their eyes. I used to be just like them once a LONG time ago when I saw my favorite bands. I was envious how they were living in the moment and so caught up in seeing their Rock Heroes in person.. At this point in my life I'll never go off like that at a concert again. Hope I die before I get old.
The band played the double shot of 'Psychosocial' > 'Duality' which was by far the highpoint of the set for me since I genuinely like those 2 songs... and during 'Duality' I couldn't help but think of the Make-A-Wish kid from earlier (who was standing in front of me) and how excited he had been that they were going to play that song. As the main set ended, Joey Jordison came over to our side of the stage with a pair of drum sticks, pointed at the Make-A-Wish kid, motioned for him to come over, and handed him the sticks. It was beyond fucking cool and, again, watching Slipknot interact with that kid and his family made me a fan despite of how I might feel about their music.
At that point I decided to be proactive and shake up my experience again, so I moved back to the soundboard for the encores... which featured Joey's drum riser elevating 30 feet into the air and spinning ala vintage Tommy Lee.
As a finale Corey Taylor directed some nice crowd participation mayhem by having the crowd kneel down like him.. and then going off as the song kicked back in.
Number of shoes thrown in the air during Slipknot's set: I lost count at 12. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. A completely fun night, which we celebrated afterwards with food and pints at Gordon Biersch. However, as I type this I can't stop thinking about that Make-A-Wish kid and how last night was probably THE best night of his young life.. Perspective, man... Perspective. All the best, kid.. whoever and wherever you are: METAL.
It was a busy night in San Franfuckingcisco, with Fu Manchu at the Bottom Of The Hill and Weezer (who reside in Umlaut's "I could give 2 shits about" file) playing a secret free show at The Regency. Anyway, the serious Rockers had already stomped over to:
This was Alice's 1st Bay Area headlining appearance in 7 years; his last time in the area was 2 years ago supporting Heaven And Hell in Concord. Going into the night, I was kind of annoyed and shocked by the number of people whose only reaction was "How old is he??" when I told them I was seeing Alice Cooper. As Timo says, he's ROCK LEGEND Alice Cooper and he should be on everyone's DON'T MISS List. It's not often you can see one of the original Rock Godz, especially one who still has his integrity and talent intact... and you must take advantage of that.
Jetboy were the perfect opener for this show, given their long-running history as a San Francisco band dating back to the 80's. Their solid brand of retro Punk / Glam went over well and, given it was a hometown show, a good percentage of the crowd knew the songs... especially the drunk guy behind us... who shouted slurry approvals at the band before being ejected by security after their set. After the drunk guy was escorted out, a curtain was raised in front of the stage... thus preparing us for the night of Rock Theater (say with an English accent) that was soon to begin:
Nobody knows how to start a show better than Alice Cooper... After the houselights dimmed and the intro tape played, the curtain dropped to reveal Alice and his band on a circus-like stage and they immediately launched into 'School's Out' > 'Department Of Youth' > 'I'm Eighteen'.. WOW. Age doesn't make a difference when it comes to Alice... His shows aren't acts of physical stamina like Iggy Pop, but instead are about theatrical charisma. When you watch Alice you realize what a fucking poser Marilyn Manson and most of the other "shock rockers" are compared to him; he's as much an old school stage actor as he is a Lock 'N Loll front man onstage... and no matter how many times Umlaut sees him it never gets boring... Nobody pulls off this type of Rock showmanship like Alice Cooper and appropriately he's surrounded himself with musicians who complement him perfectly, especially guitarists Damon Johnson and Keri Kelli who both play with that cocky 1970's Arena Rock attitude that's essential to Alice's songs.
This was Rock Theater (say with an English accent) at its best with this show billed and structured as the Theater Of Death. Right off the bat, Alice "murdered" one of his roadies by impaling him on a mic stand, like, 2 or 3 songs into the set! That roadie should call HR and file a complaint... I love how un-PC Alice's performances are.. such as when he sang 'Welcome To My Nightmare' and chased down a zombie bride towards the end of the song... and then sang 'Cold Ethyl' to her corpse. He also "abused" a nurse and then sang 'Only Women Bleed' as she lay at his feet after he had stripped off her uniform and donned her wig and nurse's hat. However, despite the debauchery, there were consequences for Alice, just like in any good morality play. As in proper theater, everything that happened onstage was an act that led into another act and eventually after each "crime" Alice was punished... Punishment was administered by lethal injection:
(Pic by South Bay Bret)
Punishment was administered by guillotine:
(Pic by South Bay Bret)
Punishment also came in the form of being impaled on spikes in a makeshift iron maiden... and punishment was administered by hanging, with the aforementioned abused nurse kicking the bucket out from under Alice's feet:
(Pic by South Bay Bret)
In Alice's world there is darkness and evil, but there's also justice and revenge for his victims. The performance was bookended by the liberating 'School's Out', which both opened the show and also served as the encore. Too high brow? Maybe... Kick ass Lock 'N Loll? COMPLETELY.
The aspect of Alice Cooper that also sets him apart from other "shock rockers" is he has amazing songs! Man, so many great songs... and I dare you to name another Classic Rock song that is as fun to sing along to as 'No More Mr. Nice Guy'.. If I had to choose, 'Ballad Of Dwight Fry' was my favorite of the set (which Alice still sings while bound in a straight jacket), but it's been one of my fave songs since, like, forever so it's kind of a no brainer anyway. Also, what other person Alice's age is singing songs about necrophilia?! I'm just saying...
Flashback: 'Cold Ethyl' educated me about necrophilia when I was around 14-years old.. My best friend at the time (John Lutkenhouse) and I would go into his older brother's room after school (his brother was off serving in the Navy) and we'd listen to his brother's Alice Cooper albums (and also his KISS albums, especially Alive!) over and over. A defining time in Umlaut's worldview... and no one has written a better line than "I've got a baby's brain and a old man's heart"... because I'm perpetually 18... and I like it.
Motörhead shirts = 4 or 5 (including mine). Grown men wearing Alice-style eye makeup: I lost count at 5 or 6. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. This was easily one of the gigs of the year for me... and after 90 minutes and 27 songs I set the Prius on course for:
Fu Manchu Bottom Of The Hill, San Francisco October 21, 2009
Straight from Alice Cooper I jetted across town and walked into the Bottom Of The Hill about 3 or 4 songs into Fu Manchu's set. According to the Umlaut Archives I've seen the band close to 20 times over the past 13 years (!) and whenever I see them it feels like I'm slipping on an old pair of Vans... a comfortable pair of no-nonsense shoes that then to proceed to kick me in the head.. in a good way of course.
After getting a beer I got up to the front and spent the next hour thinking about things as Fu Manchu entertained. It's always interesting pulling a doubleheader gig night, since the vibe of the shows are usually different. While Alice Cooper had the atmosphere of an event, the feeling at the Bottom Of The Hill was one of deja vu for me; been here, done this before... which wasn't a bad thing of course... but at least at The Warfield I didn't have drunk hipster kidz bumping into me and almost spilling my beer.
I was shocked when I remembered that it had been a year and a half since the last time I saw a show at B.O.T.H... which is weird since it used to be THE venue for SO MANY Umlaut shows dating back to 1994. Time flies, man... time flies. Remember when Marilyn Manson played there on his first tour? Or when the Melvins played 2 nights there with Adam of Tool as a guest band member? Me too.
Anyway, I was hearing Fu Manchu's new songs for the first time since their new CD just came out this week... and I have to admit I wasn't really feeling them... but old songs like 'Evil Eye' and 'Mongoose' still remain solid to me... but 'Superbird' was easily my favorite of the set.. "SOLID!" At this point, Fu Manchu are the grizzled veterans who continue to slog it out in the Rock Trenches despite obstacles thrown up in their path, such as a revolving door of record labels and the fickle nature of Music fans... It's cool to see that they're sticking to their guns... and, for the record, I had absolutely no problem with 'Mongoose' being used in a Toyota commercial last year.
Once the set ended I figuratively slipped that old pair of Vans off and I was back here in the 21st Century. Motörhead shirts = 2 (including mine). On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Let the record show that this was Umlaut's 4th doubleheader gig night of the year; they're not that hard to pull off if you know what you're doing... and all in all this had been a damn good one.
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