No Sleep 'Til Alcatraz

Thanks to the Rock Godz, Umlaut was able to skate onto The List for Social Distortion at The Fillmore.

Social Distortion
The Fillmore, San Francisco
January 5, 2008

Posted on the band's web site:

TONIGHT'S SHOW SATURDAY, JANUARY 5, IS POSTPONED DUE TO ILLNESS. Due to illness, Social Distortion are forced to cancel tonight Saturday, January 5, 2008. Rescheduled show information is forthcoming. Please hold onto your tickets until further information is posted. The band apologizes for this incredible inconvenience.

It was incredibly gracious of Social D. to cancel the show because Miatomic, who was going to be Umlaut's +1, wasn't feeling well. Nicely done, Orange County, nicely done.

The Head Cat
The Independent, San Francisco
January 10, 2008



I must admit I was dubious about what kind of performance this would be... Lemmy performing with his "rockabilly side project"?? Also in the mix was Slim Jim Phantom of Stray Cats on drums and a guitarist who wasn't Fast Eddie. It could go either way, ya know? However, if anything, it was a chance to see Lemmy in the smallest venue he's played in the area since the 80's.

Well, I'm happy to report it went the *right* way; the set was like a journey through Lemmy's record collection! He and the band shook the stage for a good 75 minutes and played songs by the likes of Eddie Cochran ('Somethin' Else'), Buddy Holly ('Not Fade Away'), CCR ('Suzie Q'), Johnny Cash ('Big River'), Johnny Kidd & The Pirates ('Shakin' All Over'), a great version of Larry Williams' 'Bad Boy', and a storming set closing rendition of 'Crossroads'. Also, as a nod to Slim Jim's old band, they did a barn burning rendition of the Stray Cats hit 'Rock This Town' with Slim on vocals. Nice Nice.

Besides the rollicking setlist, it was cool to see Lemmy loose and having fun onstage.. You could tell this is the music he loves and it was inspiring to see a Rock God being a Music Geek in public. Metalheads may still say "WTF..".. but if they paid attention it would be obvious Motörhead has always been encased by these influences. I'd say a good number of vintage MH songs like 'Dance' and 'No Class' would easily fit into rockabilly versions.. etc. etc. etc. Plus, Lemmy was wearing the most amazing pair of white creepers, which caught my attention 'cause with Motörhead he's always wearing white cowboy boots.

Thanks to Old Metal Steffan, Mark D. and Umlaut were escorted back for an audience with Mr. Kilmister.

Mark D. > The Head Cat > Umlaut

The first time Umlaut met Lemmy was in 1983 when Big Wayne, John Silence, and I interrupted him as he was drinking at a venue's bar (The Stone, S.F.).. Stupid kids! Fast forward to the 21st Century:

Music Geek Moment #1: Jammed into the tiny dressing room, sitting 2 feet from Lemmy, as a conversation about Allen Ginsberg, The Beats, J. Edgar Hoover in women's underwear, and Gram Parsons' cremation swirled around the room. Surreal.

Best Quote: "Gram Parsons?? Was he in the Alan Parsons Project??" (By a drunk friend-of-a-friend of Lemmy's during the above conversation)... Cue Umlaut slapping his own forehead with the palm of his hand in disbelief. This was followed by Lemmy cracking wise about the homoerotic qualities of the band name The Flying Burrito Brothers.. Non-Music Geeks can use Wikipedia to understand all of this.

Music Geek Moment #2: Chatting with Slim Jim Phantom and mentioning how I was a fan of Stray Cats AND that I'd seen Phantom, Rocker, & Slick (his post-Stray Cats band with Lee Rocker and Earl Slick). Slim's reaction was "YOU DID?! Only the first album was good...". Funny.

Also, a bottle of Jack Daniels was placed on the dressing room food table next to the obligatory cheese, cold cuts, bread, and other Rock Star food items. Lemmy: Keepin' it real.

Back in The Prius on the drive home, the first song iPod on shuffle played was 'Not Fade Away' by Buddy Holly... I shit you not! The Head Cats played it.. It's one of Umlaut's all-time favorite songs... iPod played it.. The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways.

Thanks to Umlaut's Old Metal Brutha Steffan for making the night happen.

Venom shirts = 2. I completely spaced on doing a merch audit, but The Head Cat did have a shirt for sale. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. It's been almost 30 years (!) since the first time Umlaut met Lemmy and I still geeked out over it. Hope I die before I get old.

"C'mon Newcastle, let's hear it for the road crew!"

Police Story

Back in September, Umlaut friend Miatomic's car was stolen... but that was only the beginning of her odyssey!

"WTF" doesn't do her experience justice.

Click HERE to read the coverage given to the incident in the San Francisco Chronicle!!

Click HERE to read Miatomic's own account of the absurd events!

Police Story #2: Umlaut friend Guitar God Doug P. submitted this...

So my friend Ken has a tenant downstairs who had their car stolen, also a Honda, in front of their house. SFPD never found it or the thieves, so they got a new Passat.

Months later, all the while receiving parking tickets, SFPD contacts them saying that the car has been found. Up the street from their flat (!). They go up to see the car, and it is intact, and has a full tank of gas! The registration had just expired, so they brought it back home (!). Wild shit all this..

Back in The Day I was always harrassed by cops; I could never get away with this kind of crap!

Cum On Feel The Noize

Miatomic and Umlaut have a jagged history of random conversations based around subjects that 99% of the world's population could give two shits about... Click HERE for a case in point.

SLADE AND TSR!?


Yes, it sucks that most people are unaware that Quiet Riot's biggest hits in the 80's were Slade covers... but at least Noddy Holder & Co. probably made some good cash off the royalties (I hope so). For the newbies: Slade are one of the quintessential English bands and, thankfully, Oasis covered 'Cum On Feel The Noize' to reclaim it back from Quiet Riot for The Queen and Country.

I know one member of the Umlaut Nation has a story about interviewing Slade for his college newspaper back in the 70's... You know who you are. It would be really cool if you recounted your tale for this space (hint hint)... No pressure.. but I'm just saying it would be really cool if you did.. To quote Slade: "Get down and get with it!"

Kerrang #31 - Dec. 1982 (From the Umlaut Archives)

Complicated Situation

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
The Fillmore, San Francisco
May 9, 2007

Useless Trivia: This was the 6th BRMC show Miatomic and I have seen together dating back to 2003. This was my 8th BRMC show dating back to 2001. This was the 38th show I’ve seen at The Fillmore dating back to 1987 (1st show = Jesus & Mary Chain on the Darklands Tour). This was the first show ever where I dropped my wallet and almost lost it; thankfully I noticed in time to retrieve it.

In 2002 I burned the 1st BRMC CD for two co-worker's because I was, like, totally fanatical about it... and they both blew it off! Thankfully, 1/2 of that duo was at the show tonight.

If BRMC’s setlist had been a ship it would have capsized from being top heavy; the superstructure was rock solid but the hull was full of piano. My favorite song of the night was a toss up between ‘Berlin’ and ‘Ain’t No Easy Way’.. However, 'Complicated Situation’ would have been the most appropriate song for the night but, alas, it was a no-show.

Originally, Scottish sensations The Fratellis were supposed to open the show, which had Umlaut as giddy as a schoolgirl from Glasgow… Alas, The Fratellis cancelled their tour, which profoundly bummed me out ‘cause their album is fookin' gleat, dontcha know! However, it seems not everyone got the memo: After the show an annoying hipster couple were raving to each other about how great The Fratellis had been... WTF? I really wanted to hit them about the head and shoulders with the hilt of a Scottish Claymore… but, alas, I didn’t have one with me.

If you bought one of every BRMC merch item you would have paid $190, but they’ve sold the same fucking shirts at their shows since 2003. If only a good merch company would pick them up again. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Ironically, Miatomic smoked a fag before we reached the car. Discuss amongst yourselves.

"I'm a complicated situation..."

3 Days of The Geek

Last week I attended 3 events that represented the Holy Trinity of what Umlaut is about: Rock Geek > History Geek > Geek. Coincidentally, the 3rd event fell on the 3rd day of the month, which was also the day that the first full lunar eclipse in 3 years was occurring.... 3-3-3... and if you multiply that by 2.... Oh Lord, yeah!

Fu Manchu / Valient Thorr
Slim's, S.F.
February 28, 2007

I realized halfway into their set that I've been seeing Fu Manchu live for over a decade. The mongoose flies on by, man... The Fu still delivers onstage and I dare anyone not to boogie when they slam into 'King Of The Road'.

Backing up for a sec: Valient Thorr's brand of Rock N' Roll was fine for awhile; I kept thinking about Raging Slab during their set. However, their sorta homeless guy singer got all hippie and jumped into the crowd and told everyone to sit on the floor around him as a display of solidarity.... I understood it to be a display of solidarity against The War and for Rock N' Roll... Uhh, ookaay. I kept standing.. Fuck that Hippie Shit.

Now back to Fu: The band went through a rough patch since their last tour, so it's very cool they're back in the saddle again with a new record label, a great new album, and a world tour. The Rock Godz smile.

Something I've noticed at the last couple of Fu shows is there have been a few dudes (2-3 at a time) who sing along to every song.. However, most of the time they're not singing at the stage, but at each other. Must be some male bonding thing that I haven't been privy too... sorta like playing grab ass in the locker room shower or something; it's not gay, only latently homoerotic. "So put the keys in my hand.. IN MY HAND.."

A Rock band will not save the world, but it can effectively take your mind off the world for 75 minutes or so. For the record, the new songs stood up to the live test and my fave Fu song was played ('Squash That Fly'). For the geeks: The final song of the night was the Fu classic 'Superbird'... which was, like, SOLID.

I forgot to do a merch tally... my bad. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. By my count, this was my 42nd visit to Slim's since 1988 (the year it opened).

Useless Trivia in My Head: For several years, Fu Manchu's tour manager was the infamous Richard Cole.

48 hours later it was:

Ken Burns’ THE WAR, Part One
Letterman Digital Arts Center, S.F.
March 2, 2007

Miatomic and Umlaut have a long history of shared geek moments, but this one might have been the most profound: (1) Ken Burns was screening the first 2 hours of his new documentary on World War 2 and (2) The event was held in the theater at the new Lucasfilm facility, which for both of us was like visiting the new house of an ex-luvah, although that was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

The idea of Ken Burns doing for WW2 what he did for Jazz and Beisbol sent my geek meter into the red. Now, before you accuse me of being a War Monger or some other simplistic PC archetype, I will cut you off at the knees and knee you in the face by stating that I am a History Geek. History fascinates me and I was interested in WW2 long before I was a Music Geek. That period in history is a particularly sobering example of how fucked up humans can be to one another... plus some really cool airplanes and tanks were developed to carry out that carnage. Dude, how cool was the Spitfire?! Damn straight.

For the newbies: World War 2 geeks are as self-absorbed and opinionated as the worst Star Wars geeks ("That general shoulda done this".... "That airplane was better than that airplane"... "Their anti-tank weaponry was superior to our's", etc. etc..). Judging from the screening we saw, Burns has brilliantly neutered the geek factor from his WW2 project by not having "experts" pontificating onscreen about the war's strategy, politics, economics, etc.. Brilliant!

His film focuses on the stories of regular people (soldiers and civilians) and their personal experiences in combat and on the homefront. Listening to an old man in the twilight of his life tell his experiences during the horrors of the Bataan Death March as a 17-year old prisoner of war is fucking mind numbing. He's lived with the memories of those horrors for more than 60 years. What were you doing at 17-years old?? Listening to Fugazi with a straight edge "x" on your hand thinking you were changing the world? Fuck that Hippie Shit.

The Q&A session with Burns will rank as one of the intellectual highlights of my year. I've been watching the man's documentaries for years and he came across as articulate, passionate, and humble as I imagined he would be. I also enjoyed how he cut off the questions of the WW2 fanboys when they started to get too self-absorbed.. It was almost like they were testing Burns on his knowledge of "their" subject... "Mr. Burns.. I consider myself a student of World War 2... How would you rank the importance of the ENIGMA Machine to the Allied cause..." blah blah blah.. I'd pay to see an Indian knife fight featuring WW2 Geeks vs. Star Wars Geeks.

I'm counting the days until PBS airs the complete 7-part series in September (the DVD release will follow in December). No matter what your politics, watching these stories of sacrifice and horror during the most violent time of modern history will affect you.

Useless Trivia in My Head: GI's said the muzzle report of the German MG42 machine gun sounded like a sheet being ripped in half.

24 hours later it was:

Wondercon
Moscone Convention Center, S.F.
March 3, 2007

My brain hurt after only 25 minutes... There was way too much nerd energy and not enough shielding on my hull to prevent me from getting contaminated; I had blood draining deja vu of Comicon. In my youth, seeing overweight guys dressed as Boba Fett might have made me laugh in fanboy camaraderie; now it gives me the urge to practice random violence against costumed fanboys.

The obligatory Star Wars "celebrities" were present to reap the cash rewards from nerd wallets. This Con featured Ray Park, Peter Mayhew, and Daniel Logan... and if you can name their SW characters I think I might have to slap you about the neck and face. WAKE UP!

Also, why the fuck can't someone do some cool Cthulhu merchandise??! All of the Cthulhu stuff at these conventions are cutesy and cartoonish; it's so fucking annoying! Cthulhu is TERRIFYING, not CUDDLY! If I see one more Cthulhu plush doll I'm gonna go Yog-Sothoth on someone. Really.

There wasn't nearly enough Battlestar Galactica content at this Con. However, if you're a Lost fan, Umlaut friend David came up with the idea of forming B.A.L.L.S. (Bay Area Lost Lovers Society). I would start watching that lame show again just to join the club.

Geek Moment: While walking down Aisle 700 I noticed a man standing at a booth looking at vintage comics... He was wearing rumpled black jeans, a rumpled black button down shirt, scuffed up shoes, and a rumpled black hat... "16 shells from a thirty-ought six will whittle you into kindling..."

It was fucking Tom Waits!

I made a u-turn to make sure it was him. It was... but I couldn't pull the trigger and go up to him. I had a geek freeze and didn't know what to do for a second so I did the next best thing to bothering one of my musical heroes: I called Ted and told him that Waits was in Dah House.

A vintage Star Trek Hair Salon Playset (Sulu optional)

Some other favorite moments:

• Seeing the guy who played the "crippled" Captain Pike in the STOS (Star Trek: Original Series) episode "The Menagerie". A sign at his booth proudly introduced him as "Sean Kinney - Crippled Captain Pike".
  

• Checking out some cool World War 2 tank models and overhearing the dealer say how he gets shit from some people for doing "historically inaccurate" dioramas featuring Nazi soldiers as zombies.

• I also came across this author at one of the booths:
  

WTF!?? Skychick NEVER told me she was a "New York Times Bestselling" author! It's like I don't even know her.... WTF..

It was a fun afternoon but, man, I am so not into alot of this nerd stuff anymore. I can be around it for awhile, but then all of the inert fanboy energy starts to drain my soul. I've always said "Hope I die before I get old.." but maybe I am when it comes to pop culture detritus.

Useless Trivia in My Head: The next day I was at the pet store and a guy was wearing a Star Wars logo ringer tee and had the Mandalorian insignia tattooed on his forearm. It frightens me that I can still easily recognize that kind of minutiae, even while buying dog food.

Help.

A Million Miles Away

The Plimsouls
Red Devil Lounge, San Francisco
December 2, 2006

"Friday night I'd just got back, I had my eyes shut.. was dreaming about the past.."

For better or worse this "blog" is dominated by METAL... However, truth be told, I haven't listened to METAL 24/7 since I was, like, 20-21 years old. I'm probably METAL, like, 46% of the time these days. With a percentage like that I should be called a Poser, and I wouldn't argue with that label.

(Note: A complete audit of just how METAL I am can be requested via those organizations and authorities who oversee such things on behalf of Satan.. Google-it 'cause I don't have the contact info..)

After the tragedy that shot out of the fog of my Old Metal past recently, it was ironic that I saw The Plimsouls the same day I received that sad news. The Plimsouls were one of the bands I gravitated towards when I drifted away from the Metal Scene circa 1986. I trip on crap like that... Ironies, connections, coincidences... My mind can obsess on them. Nope, I don't smoke pot.

Circa 1986-87 I was at a point in my life where I wanted to listen to musicians who wrote songs about stuff other than Satan (WHAT?!). I also found it refreshing to listen to songwriters who were literate and whose political songs didn't use analogies about nuclear warfare and / or nuclear holocaust in every other song (WHAT?!).

Not Metal.

I couldn't get into the Punk Scene (although Big Wayne tried to convert me). I didn't have a need to fuck shit up anymore and I felt too old to get into The Pit AGAIN... plus I still liked guitar solos.

Yeah, I became a pussy.

Long story short, most of the shit that's found on the Rhino Records Children of Nuggets box set is what I dove into during those post-Metal days. I traded a screaming Jackson for a twangy Rickenbacker.

Metal was the soundtrack of my innocent youth; the 80's "alternative" bands were the soundtrack for me as I got my shit together. I gave college another shot (although I eventually dropped out again). I started reading books other than Fantasy, Science Fiction, and Horror (WHAT?!).. I grew up intellectually while digging these bands.

What? Oh yeah, The Plimsouls gig.. Sorry 'bout that...

At this point I should say I didn't see The Plimsouls in their 80's heyday. Normally I'm dubious about seeing an "old" band 20 years after the fact, but a Music Geek co-worker who saw them in 1983 said the reformed Plimsouls were still worth seeing... so I took a chance.. and he was right.

Miatomic and I jumped into my DeLorean and arrived early to secure a decent spot in the bar. As a result, we had to suffer through a horrible opening act who actually told the crowd "We're a cross between Black Sabbath and Kraftwerk".. Ooookaaay... For the record, they were NOT as they claimed.

The Plimsouls hit the stage with 'How Long Will It Take' (sans skinny ties) and damn if they didn't sound great. Tight musicianship. Spot on lead guitar from Eddie Munoz. Seasoned frontman duty from Peter Case. Solid. I'm still a sucker for that Power Pop sound. I blame Cheap Trick.

Sometimes when you see an "old" band you wish you hadn't; that's not the case with The Plimsouls. They're still the real deal and you'd swear Julie and Randy were standing next to you as their guitars jingle jangle.

I forgot to do a merch tally for The Plimsouls, but I did get a silk screened gig poster (limited to 100 copies) for a mere 10 bucks (I got #16 /100... I know, you don't care..). On the way back to the car some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. While the 5 years I spent being hardcore Metal still has a strong influence on my life, The Plimsouls are one of those bands that reminds me of everything that happened in my life after my Metal Days.

I'm a million miles away.

Good Beer vs. Good Wine

The humbling sequel to World Cup 2006, Scorpions vs. Poland, Redrum Card, Trench Foot, and Europe vs. Europe.

Germany v. Italy - July 4th
This July 4th marked the United States of America's 230th Birthday. How did Umlaut celebrate such an important date in American History? DUH! By watching foreigners play a game that most Americans have no clue about, of course!

Umlaut met friends at the faux Irish pub The Phoenix in The Mission to watch the game. I was hoping for a German victory, which would make a Germany v. France World Cup Final one step closer to reality and allow me to pull out all the stops on my History Geek WW1 and WW2 references for this space. I was also expecting some decent food and a cold beer (or two).

I'd never been to The Phoenix before and I will sum the place up with 3 words: THE SERVICE SUCKED. I ordered food FOUR TIMES from 2 different people and my order never made it to the kitchen. I ordered a beer (ONE beer) SIX TIMES from 2 different people and my order never made it to the bar. It was astounding. For whatever reason, the place only had 1 bartender and 1 waitress working and the place was packed.

Going up to the bar for a drink was useless since the lone bartender was completely overwhelmed like the Marines on Wake Island. The barback was pressed into service taking orders and trying to serve customers, but he was like a clerk typist at Bastogne forced into combat due to extreme circumstances.

My beer FINALLY arrived during the 60th minute of the game and it felt like I was receiving a supply drop from a C-47 during Operation Market Garden. However, my food NEVER arrived, just like the reserve Panzer divisions never arrived to counterattack on D-Day. To paraphrase Winston Churchill: "Never have so few done so little for so many..."

As the game unfolded, I found myself supporting Germany more as a reaction to the drunk, loud, and obnoxious Australian guy sitting to our right who was cheering for Italy. I once read that during the fierce fighting on New Guinea, some desperate Japanese troops resorted to cannibalism when their food supplies ran out. Reportedly they said Australian troops tasted the best. I am NOT making that up. How do you say "chicken" in Japanese?

Alas, as you probably know, Germany lost the excellent match in heartbreaking fashion. To paraphrase the Scorpions: The Germans had a blackout, they really had a blackout.

That evening Miatomic hosted an eccellente impromptu BBQ to make up for our lack of sustenance at The Phoenix. As I drove home afterwards at around 9:30pm, the skies above certain S.F. neighborhoods were filled with the explosions and tracers from illegal fireworks, not unlike how the skies over London were filled with ack-ack fire during The Blitz.

When I arrived back at Casa de Umlaut, the local news was devoting WAY too much time to a local guy who competed in the annual July 4th Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island, NY. Like the U.S. Soccer Team, the dude was supposed to bring glory to his homeland since the contest had been won by the same Japanese eater 5 years in a row.

Alas, the local guy lost to the perennial Japanese champ, but he did set a new American record by eating 52 hot dogs in 10 minutes... but he was still a loser. Americans like a winner not a wiener (cue that Bruce Springsteen song about being born here).

Man, this year the U.S. has been humiliated by foreigners in The World Cup and now the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Happy Birthday America.

In WW2, Italian fighter pilots were recognized by their Allied counterparts as brave opponents blessed with sound flying abilities, but hampered by aircraft that were both under-gunned and under-powered.

Ciao... but Allez la France!

Redrum Card

The exciting sequel to Scorpions vs. Poland and World Cup 2006!

June 21st: Earlier this week, Umlaut was in NYC on business. While waiting for my homebound flight at JFK, I watched the Argentina vs. Netherlands match in the airport's sports bar. At least they had 19 plasma screens and Stella on tap.

An older couple were sitting at the end of the bar when a young guy sat next to them. The lad started talking to the couple about his recent travels in Europe, where he watched some of the World Cup games amidst the mania that's engulfed the rest of the world.

The kid was obviously a soccer fan and he did his best to explain the game to his elders... Even after the man said "I can barely tolerate hockey because there's no scoring..." Which, to me, only demonstrated America's general obsession with WINNING and not understanding the concept of something not involving a clear-cut, black & white WINNER and LOSER. Apply this to current events and discuss amongst yourselves.

Anyway, as the young guy continued in his attempt to educate the couple about the game, the man finally snapped and said "Soccer is the most popular sport in the world next to NASCAR."

It was the equivalent of the man bitch slapping this young wippersnapper and his Commie-like worldview. The soccer fan tried to be polite after that comment, but their conversation faded to silence at that point.

We're an American band... we come into your town.. we help you party down.

On another note: I was able to watch three World Cup games at 35,000 feet via DirectTV on my Jet Blue flights. Pretty fawkin' cool. Truth be told, the best part of my NYC trip was hanging out with non-work friends at a great pub in Tribeca (Souths on 273 Church St., NYC - Hi Micki & Simone - BRASIL!!). I was wearing a Black Rebel Motorcycle Club shirt and not long after we were seated the bartender put BRMC on the stereo. Nice. Good friends, good food, cold beer.

===
June 22nd: Miatomic and I spent the morning in the Kezar Pub to support the U.S. side as they went up against Ghana... The place was packed, and I couldn't help but hear a voice in my head say "Soccer is the most popular sport in the world next to NASCAR."

Kudos to the harried waitress who had to strong-arm her way through the crowd to take and deliver drink and food orders. Sitting next to us was a hardcore U.S. Fan, who I could imagine wearing a Darth Vader costume to Raider games. He was loud and outspoken but, to his credit, obviously a student of soccer.

Best Quote - U.S. Fan after being told that the ref, who had just charged the U.S. with a questionable yellow card, was German: "Maybe we should think about invading them!"

IMO Landon Donovon is to soccer what Winger was to Metal. He should be stripped of his U.S. Soccer uniform in disgrace and sentenced to 4 years of hard labor at a Walmart.

As the defeated home side filed out of the bar, U.S. Fan stood on his bar stool and sang 'God Bless America' while holding aloft his team scarf. No one else joined in his patriotism.. Dude, America needs a better fight song. Personally, I was already trying to decide whether to wear my Iron Maiden or my Motorhead shirt this weekend for the England v. Ecuador game.

Anyway, if you missed it the first time 'round, click HERE for the riveting prequel to all of this Beautiful Game madness.

Scorpions vs. Poland

The exciting sequel to World Cup 2006.

This story is 100% true. Umlaut and Miatomic were following the Germany vs. Poland game today and IM-ing each other during the ferociously furious final minutes.

90 minute:
umlaut: did we give up when the germans bombed pearl harbor?!
miatomic: no!
miatomic: c'mon germany!
miatomic: offisde!
miatomic: oops...offSIDE
miatomic: hit the bar!

91 minute:
umlaut: i'm gonna play the scorpions on my iTunes right now

91+ minute:
Goal by Oliver Neuville (GER).


umlaut: IT WORKED!!!
umlaut: ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE!!!
miatomic: GOAL!
miatomic: !!!!!

GERMANY 1 - 0 POLAND

Pretty amazing... Deutschland, zhere's no Four-Four-Twwwo like zou!!

Of course, today's game took place in Dortmund, Germany.. Which Old Metalheads know was the site of a legendary Metal concert featuring the Scorpions back in 1983. Coincidence?? I think not.

Click HERE for past Umlaut fun with the Scorps.

For the record, Umlaut supports England and would love to see a Scorpions vs. Iron Maiden World Cup 2006 match.

Random Rock Star Moment #13: Social Distortion

Social Distortion at The Cubby Bear in Chicago, 1988

Submitted by Miatomic

My brother and The Ramones' got me started on punk, but Social Distortion hooked me. See, I had a crush on this boy named Dean. He was a junior at my high school and I was just a freshman. He gave me a copy of a Social D poster that he'd made in graphics class. And I got one of my friends to drive me to Atomic Records so I could buy the LP. So it all started because I liked a boy...

I got over that crush pretty fast (and that's a story for another post involving The Minutemen!), but I never really got over Social Distortion.

I tried to see them at Cafe Voltaire (or maybe by that point it had changed names and become the Odd Rock Cafe) in Milwaukee. It was 1988 -- Prison Bound was released. I was 18 and a freshman in college.

When I got to the show, Mike Ness was outside lighting firecrackers. My friend's band opened, and then the place was busted by some bored cops who saw a bunch of kids hanging out. They told everyone to leave, that we were over capacity. They kicked us out, chased kids through the parking lot and made plenty of arrests. Lucky for me, I had been returning some borrowed equipment to Social Distortion's van and was hanging out with Dennis when the arrests began. They didn't get to play.

About 2 weeks later, we drove to the Cubby Bear in Chicago. Sham 69 opened. It was incredible. I palled around with Dennis after the show and we had a blast.

In 1992 I saw them open for the Ramones -- and I paid back the punk rock karma by taking my brother backstage.

===
BONUS Social Distortion Moment from Umlaut friend Kathy G.:

"When I was in high school, around 1983, they played at De Anza College in the basement of the student union. I was waiting by the bathroom when the drummer and someone else in the band came by, looking ill. Back onstage, the drummer, while drumming away wildly, barfed over his shoulder and kept playing. Yikes!"