Sold Out For Satan

Behemoth / Watain / The Devil's Blood
Slim's, San Francisco
April 23, 2012

This show was sold out in advance. Out in front there was a kid who had driven all the way from Salinas (over 100 miles one way) who thought he would be able to buy a ticket at the door. Scalpers out front were asking up to $100 a pop. Not very cool. However, since this was the most outspoken, in your face, anti-Christian music tour of the year, it's to be expected that people would have to sell something like their soul to attend the show.

For the 3rd time I missed In Solitude because I couldn’t make it to the gig early enough. My guess is that I was inside for around half of The Devil's Blood set. The band is from Holland and they were alright with their melodies and such… but I spent their set catching up with Rafa Black Cobra, who had just gotten home from their European Tour and who was leaving in 24 hours for Black Cobra’s Australia / New Zealand Tour with Fu Manchu (is that a cool bill or what?!).

The main reason I left Casa de Umlaut tonight was Watain. It's true that the Swedes had underwhelmed me the last time they visited San Francisco just over 17 months ago, but that didn’t stop them from being in regular rotation on Umlaut’s playlist. Going into this show I was looking forward to seeing Watain again… and thankfully they did not disappoint me a second time. Watain are visually stunning onstage and this time the rest of their presentation matched that as well.

As they had on their last visit to San Francisco, the Swedes opened with 'Malfeitor' and it was go-time for Satan. Watain are edged and jagged, like a knife you find under a pile of bones that you stumbled upon in a basement and then have to plunge into the skull of a zombie that leaps out of the shadows for your throat. Watain look and present themselves like a real deal band should; I can't imagine Erik Danielsson having a day job. Watain have a confident blood smeared swagger that is too legit to quit. No, they didn't have the infamous animal carcasses onstage, but halfway through Watain’s set a kid with blood streaming from his nose was led out of the venue by security. Metal. The Swedes put San Francisco through a 45 minute abattoir of volume that culminated in a triumphant, smoldering, and majestic version of ‘The Serpent’s Chalice’. HAIL.

This show really should have been at a bigger venue. By my count this was the 3rd time Behemoth have played at Slim’s since 2007 and they could play a venue twice its 600 capacity size in this city now. For the newbies: The band’s front man Nergal was diagnosed with leukemia in late 2010 and the band’s future was in doubt. Miraculously, less than 2 years after his illness was announced, he is in full recovery and Behemoth arrived onstage to the sold out crowd chanting the band’s name. It was a hero’s welcome for a band that deserves it; Nergal has joined Chuck Billy of Testament as the mightiest men in Metal because they have both fought and defeated Death. HAIL.

Whereas Watain are like a notched blade made for butchery, Behemoth is an artful, expensive piece of aural cutlery from Poland. Where Watain hacks at an audience (literally and figuratively), Behemoth cleanly slice and serve their offerings. The Poles are riveting to watch onstage, with Nergal being one of the most charismatic front men you will ever see. Even on a small stage like Slim’s the band was constantly in motion, making sure the audience was engaged. The set opening 'Ov Fire And The Void' was an appropriate opening salvo given the band's recent hiatus and the reason behind it.

That being said, as good of a performing band as they are, the clean sharpness of the Behemoth live sound is also why it deflects off of me. Their live sound was just too clean to me when up against Watain's more organic sound. Not that it was a contest, but I have to say Watain’s savage aural butchery was more impressive than Behemoth’s clinical carving tonight. Also, unlike Watain, I can imagine Nergal holding down a real job somewhere; upper management of course. However, Behemoth are one of those Metal bands who can sell girl's tees all day long, because girls sure dig Nergal (cue girly screams). You gotta admit he's a good looking dude… AND he hates God too. Bad boys always get the chicks.

Doing a merch audit at Slim’s is always a pain in the ass because of where the merch is set up, so I didn’t do one. Although Behemoth had more merch, I felt compelled to buy some Watain merch after their set... but... alas... the tour tee I had my eye on was sold out. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. As I was trying to figure out something to close this rant with I imagined Watain waiting in line at IKEA... snacking on Swedish meatballs... dressed in their tattered leathers and smeared with animal blood... having their debit card declined. HAIL.

No Veggie Option

Watain / Goatwhore / Black Anvil
DNA Lounge, San Francisco
November 17, 2010


It had been 19 days since my last gig, which I think is the longest break I’ve had all year between seeing bands. Those of you who know what I do to pay my mortgage know that even when I’m not seeing bands I’m still *around* bands… So, yeah, my life pretty much revolves around bands 24/7… for better or worse. I had been looking forward to this show ever since this tour was announced in the wake of the Behemoth / Watain tour being cancelled. However, I’ll just cut to the chase and say sometimes anticipation and reality don’t always live up to the hype in my head... but sometimes life is like that, man.

I *think* I saw a bit of Black Anvil's set back in March at the Scion Rock Fest in Ohio. I liked what their guitarist was doing tonight... but couldn't figure out if his sound was supposed to be that way or if it was because the sound mix was fucked up; I think it was probably a combination. I like Black Anvil’s New Yawk City take on “Black Metal”; Metal with a touch of Hardcore and they perform it well. Unfortunately, as much as I like the DNA, this was one of those DNA shows where the sound was not dialed in the way it should have been. Satan needs a new sound guy.

By my count this was Goatwhore's 5th or 6th Bay Area show on this album cycle; Umlaut always appreciates Road Dogs. However, while I respect their Road Dog ways this was one of the weakest Goatwhore sets I’ve seen. Maybe it was the smallish crowd during their set or their sound that was on the wrong side of shitty, but the set was simply routine to me. Gauntlet…fist… point… scream… guitar solo. Repeat. I hate to knock the boyz from N’awlins… but I’m not going to lie... I wasn't feeling 'em tonight. Gauntlet…fist… point… scream… guitar solo. Man, I would love an oyster po’boy right now.

Evidently Vancouver has been the only city so far on this tour that Watain has been allowed to use all of their stage props (pyro, a dozen or so rotting pigs heads, and pigs blood). I was hoping S.F. would live up to its liberal stereotype and be just as open minded as the Canadians... but, alas, the local health and fire codes reduced the Swedes to simply smearing pigs blood on themselves and their stage clothes. I guess having tofu impaled onstage would not have had the same effect as the pigs heads... and given the sanitized nature of the show it was funny to still see the stage monitors wrapped in plastic to protect them.

Come to think of it, I suppose it's probably not the healthiest thing to be in the front row for Watain and have pigs blood mixed with Swedish sweat splashed on you during a show... but Watain fans are certainly more hardcore than those pussies at a GWAR concert who simply get sprayed with colored water.

Watain annoints San Francisco with blood and sweat... literally.
(Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

Opening with the new song ‘Malfeitor’, Watain were still visually effective despite being denied their usual staging. The banners and metal tritons and upside down crosses set the tone even before the band came onstage... Although the tritons would have been more impressively Black Metal with pigs heads affixed to them. The initial attack provided by the band's Dean guitar endorsement was compelling at first... but I quickly started thinking again that Satan needs a new sound guy; the sound was muddy at best.

I've liked Watain's recorded works and their latest Lawless Darkness CD has been in heavy rotation for me since its release. However, as with other Black Metal bands in their class, Watain's live sound frustrates me. The genre’s elite tend to have thin guitar tones that are meant to blend with the rest of the band to create one engulfing Black Metal cloud. While this works in the studio, it generally means a shitty live sound in most cases (at least to my ears). The sound is like a carcass with no meat on the bone; there’s nothing to chew on. There's no TONE... Sinking your teeth into a mass of meat (or wheat gluton for my vegetarian / vegan friends) is infinitely more satisfying than gnawing on a bone… at least that’s the way I like it. That being said, Watain do legitimately fly the Black Metal flag under the stage lights... but some pyro and the stench and sight of animal carcasses onstage would have distracted me from the shitty sound.

(Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

Anyway, I wasn’t inspired by this show at all; I know, not very Metal of me. It was nice to get out on a Wednesday night… It was nice to see some bands… It was nice to see some friends… but it was one of those nights where the show didn’t live up to the hype in my head. It was the complete opposite of my recent Triptykon experience.

If you bought one of every Watain merch item you would have paid around $220. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. The next morning I saw Neal Schon's Porsche in the parking lot at work; I think it's safe to say Neal In The Sky has never played with a pig's head impaled onstage.

HAIL SEITAN!

Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from the night!