Crypt Keeper

Kirk von Hammett's Fear FestEvil
High On Fire / Orchid / Ghoul
Rock Bar Theater, San Jose, California
April 11, 2015

It's cool when an old friend has the means to take a childhood hobby to the next level as an adult... and that's exactly what Mr. Kirk Hammett has done.  What began as a child with an obsession with horror movies and comics has evolved into an adult world class collector of all that is dark and fun.. and it's been made even cooler that he wants to share it with the public instead of sitting in a dark room surrounded by his valuable rarities.  This was the 4th official Kirk von Hammett event dating back to the book release party in 2012.   As with last year's event, this year was a 3-day celebration but Umlaut was only able to attend the Saturday event which featured performances by my longtime favorites High On Fire, Orchid, and Ghoul.

Back in The Day the space that is now the Rock Bar was a gambling joint called Garden City Casino.  It was odd seeing how they've basically jammed a stage into the space to fit the existing floor plan.  Interesting and odd.  This was my first visit to this relatively new venue and I had heard nothing but good things about it.

Upon arriving there was a ginormous line waiting at the entrance so I killed time in the vendor tent adjacent to the entrance as well as a small carnival games area that was next to it.  The FestEvil vibe was definitely in effect as costumed humans wandered the area.. but it was only a matter of time before things were sorted out for me.  If only all Horror conventions were this easy:

Once inside there was time to kill before the bands started... Running into friends, chatting with friends, drinking beers with friends, and also checking out this year's version of Kirk's Crypt featuring some of his collection on display.  Honesty is my only excuse:  Umlaut only has a casual interest in Horror films and there were really only 2 items that caught my undivided attention... mainly because I am a fan and had seen the items at past events but had failed to take pictures of them.  Not this time...

Re-Animator

The Walking Dead

Yes.. Umlaut is one of those now-mainstream types who adores The Walking Dead.. The show and the comics.  Anyway, one thing led to another and this happened..

"Devil's grip.. The Iron Fist.."
[Photo courtesy of Photo Ray]

... and in case you were wondering this is what "backstage" looked like at FestEvil:

Magical.

As the sun set outside the musical portion of the event started up.  Ghoul are one of my favorite bands and it warmed my heart that these band friends were asked to perform.  Obviously they were a natural fit and it was cool that they immediately won the crowd over during the first song even as they sprayed the front row with blood-like liquid.  Orchid are another group of band friends and they were making a return performance after having been included in last year's party.  The Orchid lads were as thunderous as ever but their set was a bit overshadowed by guitarist Mark's vintage Motörhead 1983 Tour shirt in the dressing room:

According to the Umlaut Archives this was the 18th time I'd seen High On Fire.. but I only watched moments of their set as I found myself socializing with friends again more than rocking out.  Again... Honesty is my only excuse.. but I was just going with the flow, man.

Far and away the highlight of the day was the jam session finale featuring the host lead guitarist backed by High On Fire as well as guest appearances by Corey Taylor of Slipknot on vocals, John 5 on guitar for most of the set, and Charlie Benante of Anthrax taking over drums for half of the set as well.  Before all of that Rock Star power hit the stage this happened in a hallway behind the stage:

The best thing about this All-Star jam was that it did not include the usual cover songs that every Metal All-Star jam usually plays (cue 'Highway To Hell'..'Iron Man'.. etc..).  This being Kirk Hammett's party he dug deep into his teenage album collection and pulled out some nerdy song choices!

 

 "BRAIN!!"  Yes, autographed by the host after the show..

For the newbies that would be Thin Lizzy, Black Sabbath, Motörhead, Uli Roth-era Scorpions, Riot, Venom, and Judas Priest.  FUCK. YEAH.  The performance was loose as all of the Rock Stars seemed to tap into their teenage heads again for the duration of the jam.  Oddly, I watched this once in a lifetime moment while kneeling inside a fake fireplace at stage left that evidently is a remnant of the space's previous incarnation.  The suburbs can be very weird, man.

Kirk and High On Fire channel Phil Lynott as they launch into 'Emerald'

I did not do a FestEvil merch audit.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced suburban teenagers called me a fag.  FestEvil is the type of event that people in The Bay Area tend to observe with a jaded ho-hum hometown attitude.  "Oh great.. A member of Metallica doing this and that.. blah blah.."  If this event were held in another city the buzz and the energy around it would probably be on another level.  Instead it was just another of many, many "only in The Bay Area" events and moments to add to the list.  Ain't we lucky!? 

Weekend Of Horror

Kirk Von Hammett's Fear FestEvil
The Regency, San Francisco
February 6-8, 2014

The exciting sequel to Too Much Horror Business!

Yes, it's taken me a couple of weeks to pull this out of my brain... but better late than never.  Anyway, sometimes you have a friend when you're a teenager and that friend grows up to be a multi-millionaire Rock Star... and sometimes that millionaire Rock Star friend spends his hard earned money on insanely rare and cool things that meant a lot to him when he was a kid.  You can read more about this friend's collection HERE.

Thursday:  Preview Night
Tonight was the advance preview night for "VIP" fans and guests that featured Mr. KRK Hamster hosting a food 'n drink party in the upstairs Masonic Temple of The Regency aka The Lodge (!).  It's an amazing space and it was made even better by having artifacts from KRK's horror collection displayed effectively all around the room.  At one point this fanboy moment happened:

Carcass. Fanboy.

[Pic courtesy of Cable Car]

Yes, only half of Carcass caused me to get a "deer in the headlights" look because inside my head I was screaming "HEARTWORKCHANGEDMYLIFE!!"  Nice guys and one of my favorite bands, like, ever.   At another point I had a brief conversation with Kirk Von Hammett (aka The Host) and it was so cool that the very first thing he said to me was how excited he was to be playing with his old band Exodus.  He was genuinely giddy.  Not all Rock Stars are jaded muthafuckers.

Not Playing

Tonight was the social evening and I was able to hang out with several out of town friends who I had not seen in awhile and several local friends who I also had not seen in awhile.  Some good food was served by people in zombie makeup... but the beer selection was, for lack of a better term, lame.  Budweiser vs. Heineken.  Oh well.. It was still a really good time.  Then the next day it was...

Friday:  Exodus / Carcass
After some initial Will Call drama the Rock Godz worked their magic and this happened:

I'm with the band.

From that moment on the day and evening was pretty much a blur.  Scott Ian sat in a chair on the main stage for 3 hours having makeup applied by a Hollywood makeup artist to "transform" him into Jack The Ripper.  Three. Hours.  It was literally like watching paint dry.  Needless to say Umlaut did not watch the entire process.  The end result was pretty cool, but I wonder what the appropriate time ratio is for keeping elaborate monster makeup on versus how long it took to apply.  Maybe Scott is still wearing it..

The vendor area in the basement was interesting but I wasn't in a buying mood.  However, it was an impressive mix of the standard toy and collectible vendors as well as Iron Maiden's original artist Derek Riggs (!) and Doyle of the Misfits (?).  One of the most poignant images of the weekend for me was a throng of people crowding around Riggs' table to meet the creator of Eddie while at the table right next to him Doyle (in full makeup and devilock) sat quietly alone staring at his phone and texting.  I remember Halloween too, Doyle... I remember.

Anyway, as the time for the bands drew near they cleared out the main room so Carcass could soundcheck.  Which was awesome because there were maybe only 5 other people in the room.. and it looked like this via Umlaut's blurry iPhone:

After watching Carcass getting their levels set we few, we happy few, wandered down the street to get some food and caffeine fuel before returning for show time.  By now the main room had been reopened and was nicely full for the return of the Grind Gods to San Francisco.

Carcass opened with '1985', the first song off their insanely great new album Surgical Steel, and then went into the brutally iconic 'Buried Dreams', the first song off their insanely influential (for Umlaut at least) album Heartwork.  Nicely done, lads.  I will admit to being concerned when Michael Amott left the band in 2012, but the current guitar duo of Bill Steer and new guy Ben Ash were steel encased solid and surgically brilliant.  I should not have worried.  It was also very cool that Jeff Walker gave The Bay Area and Bay Area bands a heartfelt shout out in between songs at one point.  Carcass are a band that changed my life at a time when I thought I was too old and *done* with Metal.  I didn't think anything in the genre could inspire me again.  Carcass restarted my Metal heart and seeing them again reminded me of their role in my life.  However, since Carcass will be back here at this same venue in March on the Decibel Tour, halfway through the set I made my way back upstairs to say "Hi" to tonight's headliners and witnessed this:

Holt Awaits

It seemed like all of the throat-scratching fog from Carcass' onstage smoke machines had drifted upstairs because the dressing room hallway was choked full with it... (cough cough)... So I went back downstairs and witnessed the rest of Carcass' beautiful evisceration of San Francisco from stage right.  Then I think I met friends in the lobby for a beer.  I think.  Probably.  Needless to say I'm really looking forward seeing Carcass again when they play a full headline set next month.

Carcass Stage Right:  Tools Of The Trade

I missed Exodus' rare headlining hometown show in December so it was a priority for me to soak up as much of their old school energy as I could.  Unfortunately, the Umlaut Archives doesn't have an accurate count of how many times I've seen Exodus. However, it's safe to say it's around the 40 show range dating back to when Kirk Von Hammett was still in the band.  Tonight was full circle special for that history alone.

Exodus came out and played a steamroller 8-song set that culminated with their original guitarist KRK joining them on 'Pirahna' and then a very inspired (the actor who was the original Godzilla was one of FestEvil's guests) cover of Blue Öyster Cult's 'Godzilla' featuring Godzilla himself dancing onstage.  Godzilla is much shorter in person.  Later I asked Gary why they hadn't played an early Exodus song from the KRK era... like 'Impaler' or 'Whipping Queen' or 'Death and Domination' or 'Warlord'... and he said it would have been "too much work".  Fair enough.

"How does 'Impaler' go again?"

[Pic courtesy of Photo Ray]

"History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man.."
[Pic courtesy of Photo Ray]

In all seriousness, it was profoundly awesome to see KRK so happy and obviously having F-U-N onstage.  Let's be honest, I'm positive that sometimes being in Metallica is more like a job than being in a band. That's not meant as a negative, it's just what comes with the territory of being in the biggest Metal band of his generation.  So it was just awesome seeing KRK being that pimply-faced kid again onstage. Somewhere Baloff smiled.

Ironically, because I had just seen them a week before and had been geeking out on them again, I happened to be wearing a Blue Öyster Cult shirt tonight.  It was a completely random coincidence; sometimes The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways.  Later at the After Party I had some quality time with a couple of old friends who I've known since before any of us could buy alcohol legally.. and this happened:

 

Holt. B.Ö.C. shirt.

[Pic courtesy of Cable Car]

Hammett.  Hanneman.

 [Pic courtesy of Photo Ray]

Right after this photo was taken KRK reminded me that he's known me since he was 19 years old.  Trippy... and pretty cool he even remembers that, right?   Then 24 hours later it was...

Saturday:  Death Angel / Orchid
Due to a prior commitment I had to forgo the Horror part of the fest and arrived not long before the band portion of the day was to start.  One thing led to another and despite my late arrival I ended up here:

Standing at stage right with Orchid I asked if they did a pre-show band bro hug before playing... and they did one right in front of me.  Awww!  I then had a special geek chat with Mark and Theo before they walked onto the hot 'n sweaty stage to pound their hometown under their boot heel of tone.  The local lads were given a full hour so they were basically able to recreate their recent European headlining set on a big stage in front of family and friends.

If I had to choose I'd have to say Orchid was my favorite set of the weekend.  The other bands on the bill are veterans with years in the trenches and who are used to having "famous" friends and admirers.  While Orchid are not kids, the deserved adulation and attention they've been getting recently is something they're not used to yet.  Their fanboy appreciation about being asked by KRK to play at his event was profoundly cute (for lack of a better more endearing term) and translated into how they took over The Regency's stage confidently and made it their own for their allotted time.  Great guys.  Great band.

Tonight was the 3rd show on Death Angel's latest U.S. Tour and it's pretty amazing how the band has come back to be such road dogs in the last several years.  All of that work has paid off as they were the most well-oiled Metal machine of the weekend despite a couple of the guys being sick with flu (cue Purell).  Thirty or more years on from the Murder In The Front Row days and I'm not ashamed to say I get kind of emo watching Death Angel here in the 21st Century.  The current version of Death Angel is so good it's frightening and it's inspiring to see a band that has survived and adapted but remained true to their roots.  It was also an appropriate reality check that tonight also happened to be Mark's birthday, which was celebrated onstage with a cake presented by some of his best friends.  Adorable!  At one point while I stood at stage left between songs this happened:

Mercyful Fate Fanboys

Okay, now get back out on that stage, Mr. Guitarist...

Anyway, 'Seemingly Endless Time' was, as it usually is, my favorite song of the set but the new song 'Fallen' was especially crushing as well. The set and event closing cover songs jam with KRK on 'Heaven And Hell' and 'Trapped Under Ice' sealed the fact how special this event had been.  In all seriousness, it was profoundly awesome to see KRK so happy and obviously having F-U-N onstage with the band whose demo he produced a million years ago.

Let's be honest, I'm positive that sometimes being in Metallica is more like a job than being in a band. That's not meant as a negative, it's just what comes with the territory of being in the biggest Metal band of his generation. So it was just awesome seeing KRK being that pimply-faced kid again onstage.

Apologies that I all but glossed over the Horror aspect of the weekend which was just as impressive as the music side.  Actually, it was probably more impressive to many attendees but truth be told I am a very casual Horror fan.  I watch Walking Dead and read the Walking Dead comics but that's literally it for me and Horror.  I'm just not qualified to comment on it, no matter how cool it all looked to my casual Horror fan eyes.  Yes, that guy who's a makeup artist and a producer on Walking Dead was there.  Yes, the actors who were Ultra-Man and Godzilla were in attendance.  Yes, P.J. Soles was there.  Again, sorry... but I'm sure there are other places on The Internets to read about that side of this event.  Yes, this means I'm not Metal and I am a poser.

I will say that in addition to the music (and the Horror), Kirk Von Hammett's Fear FestEvil had a profound sense of community around it.   The Bay Area vibe was very thick in the air for me due to the host being a local boy made good and the double digit number of friends who were in attendance.  I'm sure this event would still be special if it were held in other cities, but there's something very special about home cooking.

I didn't do a merch audit and I forgot to score the special event tees that Carcass and Exodus did for the weekend.  Oh well... However, it was obvious that there were more SLAAAYEER shirts than any other band shirts amongst attendees.  Interesting.  On the way back to the car all 3 nights, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag.  Full disclosure:  Writing this blog entry felt like a homework assignment and was a real struggle as I wrestled and did hand to hand combat with the words and sentences.  Writing can be hard.

Click HERE to see more of Photo Ray's awesome photos from the weekend.

Support The Locals

Orchid
Slim's, San Francisco
July 19, 2013

 

Before the show Umlaut found himself inside the friendly confines of AT&T Park watching my beloved Giants defeat division rivals Arizona 2-0.  Unfortunately, the Umlaut Archives fail to document the last time I pulled off a Giants game / concert doubleheader.  Disappointing.

Section 211

After the final out we few, we happy few, made our way over to Slim's just in time for Orchid. Apologies to the guys in Hell Fire for missing their set.  Although this was Orchid's biggest hometown show so far (to celebrate the release of their latest masterpiece The Mouths Of Madness) the vibe of the crowd was different than past shows.  There wasn't the overt communal atmosphere of past Orchid shows where the majority of the crowd were band friends and family.  Tonight Slim's drew a more anonymous group of fans which gave the night a more raucous reaction.  This was manifested by the energetic pit action that broke out midway through the set and continued until the final encore note evaporated.  Opening with 'Heretic' and then going into the new and already immortal song 'Mouths Of Madness' the local lads were on fire and obviously still sharp from their recent European Tour.  'Eastern Woman' seduced as always but it was 'Black Funeral' and 'He Who Walks Alone' that really stood out for me tonight.  Epic renditions.  Epic.  Orchid are Kings of Tone and while their live sound inhales '71 Sabbath it exhales something that is their own.

Orchid also raised the bar tonight by having an impressive array of special stage lighting that included arena rock style strobes and pretty colored things.  However, the amount of pot smoke filling Slim's was downright alarming... and actually the amount of doobage exhaust seriously started to fuck with my lungs and throat... and I'm still dealing with the effects (cough..) days later.  Nope, Umlaut is not a Stoner.  Mark (guitar) told me later that at one point he thought his amp was on fire because someone was smoking pot that smelled like burning plastic.  Lock 'N Loll! (cough)

 [Photo courtesy of Photo Ray]

The band closed out the celebration with a great encore double shot of the new song 'Wizard Of War' and 'Saviours Of The Blind'.   It's hard to believe that Orchid are the biggest new Bay Area Metal band right now. They've come a long way in the last couple of years and Europe in particular has embraced them. They're getting a high profile push from their label Nuclear Blast and are set to return to Europe again in November.  After the show it was cool to see the Orchid guys being the nice dudes that they are to their fans and also taking the time to chat with a fan like Umlaut (HAHA).  Evidently some Orchid fans traveled from as far away as Calgary (Yes, CANADA) and Reno (Yes, Nevada) for the show.  Great band and great dudes. Needless to say I'm beyond happy for Orchid!  Support the locals!  Always.

I also have to mention that I can't remember the last time I've seen so many Slim's staff members getting into a band. A couple of the red shirted staff were overtly enjoying the volume, which was cool.  Also kudos to the staffer who noticed I was drinking a cup of water and who then went behind the bar and handed me a bottle of H2O.  According to the Umlaut Archives tonight was my 82nd visit to Slim's dating back to when it first opened in 1988.  Support the locals!

Number of Ghost tees:  At least 3.  If you bought one of every Orchid merch item you would have paid around $240; it warmed my heart to see a healthy Orchid merch line after the show.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags.  All in all it was a classic San Francisco night.

Click HERE to see more of Photo Ray's shots from the night!

The Mouths Of Madness

Orchid / Glitter Wizard / Hell Fire
DNA Lounge, San Francisco
March 8, 2013

It was a cold and very windy night in San Francisco.. which of course was the perfect weather for this show.  Tonight's event was in the newish upstairs annex of the DNA, which I didn't even know about until a week ago.  With a capacity around half of the DNA's downstairs main room, the annex makes for a decent small venue for S.F..  My only complaint is they need a better sound system, but at least there are 2 exits because the space has that Great White Fire Trap feel when it's full of humans... and Umlaut ain't going out like that. 

The room was packed as Umlaut's favorite local Thrash kidz Hell Fire summoned the spirits of Old Metal.  I like these guys because they remind me of how I (we) were back in the original Bay Area Metal Days; they're genuine and not posers.  I admire how the Hell Fire guys live with Metal in their young hearts in that same unabashed way that I did in my Salad Days.  Stay tuned for their debut album as they are worthy torch bearers for the legacy of Murder In The Front Row.

I was dubious about Glitter Wizard given their hipster ironic sounding name and the singer's ironic looking white leather vest sans shirt look.  I was planning to watch a song or two before taking advantage of the in-and-out policy to get fresh air and a beer off site... but then I saw the saxophone Glitter Wizard had onstage and I was gone.  I was not in the mood to watch a band use a fucking saxophone in the name of Metal tonight.  Yes, the Stooges used saxophone during their Funhouse era, but they were the Stooges. Later, a couple of people told me the band wasn't "that bad".. so there you go.

As we made or way to a nearby bar a block away and then back again,  I couldn't help but notice the unusually large amount of vomit on the streets of San Francisco tonight... and it wasn't even that late yet.  Amateur night South of Market??  It was like a goddamn vomitorium; those damn hipsters mixing PBR and food trucks.  Anyway...

It had been 13 months since Orchid's last San Francisco show and it was obvious word has gotten around about them because the show was sold out with a good number turned away at the door.  The guys opened with their stunningly great new song 'Mouths Of Madness' and it was 1 of 4 new songs that Orchid played from their upcoming new album (out in April on Nuclear Blast).   Unfortunately, the subpar sound system of the DNA Annex didn't help Orchid, but their dark volume alchemy still managed to transcend the mortal restrictions they were working under.

[Photo courtesy of Photo Ray]

In the time since they last played on home soil the band has toured Europe twice and honed their craft to a titanic sharpness.  Yes, they still channel Sabbath '71 (what Doom band doesn't on some level?) but they continue to put the Orchid stamp on *that* sound.  The 11 songs of tonight's volume ritual was a nice reintroduction of the band to the local crowd, many of whom I'm sure had not seen them before judging from the strong "OMG!!  They're playing this song!" reaction to older songs like 'Eastern Woman' and 'He Who Walks Alone'.  With the release of their fantastic new album on the horizon (Yes, Umlaut has heard it... and it's spectacular.) and a 24 date European Tour in April and May (including a show supporting King Diamond in Germany) Orchid are primed to be the next big band out of The Bay Area.  Hear me now and believe me later.

[Photo courtesy of Photo Ray]

I have to take a moment and say how great the vibe was inside the venue tonight.  There were ALOT of friends in the crowded space and it really felt like "a scene" with all of that communal energy.  Hopefully this will continue since that kind of energy is a hit and miss commodity here in the fractured 21st Century.  Kudos to the Metal brother in the wheel chair who stayed up front for most of the show before navigating back to the bar during the chaotic Orchid set.

Number of Acid King shirts = 2 (including mine).  If you had bought one of every Orchid merch item you would have paid $250.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag.  Before leaving I was able to have an Orchid vinyl moment:

The Vinyl Countdown with Guitar God Mark Thomas Baker

[Photo courtesy of Photo Ray]

Early Show

Orchid
Thee Parkside, San Francisco
October 9, 2011

This show was attached to the annual Indie Mart street fair that took place on the closed-off street next to Thee Parkside. The mart featured a typical S.F. mix of artsy fartsy craft vendors to kill time looking at… but the best part of the event was the Chairman Bao food truck was in attendance so I could snack on their godlike steamed tofu bun. Arriving early also meant watching a band called Nectarine Pie who had obviously studied 60's British Invasion bands... which isn't a bad thing... but I was there to see something heavier… so I got a beer at the bar and wandered off to find my friends outside on the patio.

Evidently Orchid were stuck in cluster fuck traffic and late getting to the venue (it was an unusually busy Sunday afternoon in S.F. with the Blue Angels, a Columbus Day parade, AND the Niners being in town). As a result the band only played about half their scheduled time. Despite the brief performance I was surprised that I had an epiphany about Orchid: I was finally enlightened on how the band is hot wired into a vintage Santana vibe, which is not as obvious to the casual listener as their Sabbath vibe.

Since Orchid are older dudes they pull off the vintage angle a lot more convincingly than most of the young bands attempting the same thing these days. I mean, when Orchid step onstage wearing vintage clothes it doesn't look like they’re in costume; they look and sound like the real deal. Carter and Keith lay down a heavy groove on drums and bass that most bands attempting to do the “vintage” sound in the 21st Century fail to grasp… and Mark and Theo lead the bell bottom charge with the former wielding epic TONE on his SG and the latter having a voice that’s both other worldly and powerful. Orchid in a live setting creates an aura in any room they’re playing and don’t simply fill it with volume.

(Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

The truncated set opened with the new song 'Saviours Of The Blind' and for the next 35 minutes the band transported the room to another place. Following the opening song the band followed with another new one 'Nomad'... and then eased through 4 songs from their current releases.. with the highlight being 'Eyes Behind The Wall' before they closed things out with 'Eastern Woman'. It was a clean and mellow set… made all the more so by having the young kids of the band members and friends standing at the rail. I trust the youngsters were all wearing ear protection… because I believe that children are the future… teach them well and let them show the way.

I didn't do a merch audit... but Orchid did not have any girl's tees in size Small. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. All in all it was a super mellow Sunday afternoon in San Francisco. I was glad I got see Orchid again before they leave on a European Tour next week that includes shows in Poland, Holland, Belgium, and Germany. Prost!

Click HERE to see more of Sensory Abuse's shots from the show!

June Doom Swoon

Orchid
Madhouse @ Club Cocomo, San Francisco
June 3, 2011

My Brain and my Inner Writer Muse Thing are not working well together these days. I'm having a hard time ranting about shows right now... but that's not your problem, right?

Anyway, I didn't decide to go to this show until around 10:30pm... or 2 1/2 hours after the doors opened. Oh well... better late than never. It was a rainy night in San Francisco but I'd been wanting to check out the Madhouse shows being held at Club Cocomo. What a GREAT venue! A huge outdoor patio area in front and the space inside has a large stage with an excellent sound system; evidently the space is mainly used for salsa dancing. It's a shame more concert events can't happen here, because it's one of the nicest spaces in S.F..

Anyway, my late arrival prevented me from seeing the opening bands. However, Orchid was the reason why I left the house when most people my age had already tucked themselves in for the night. It was cool to see the band on a large stage where they were allowed to spread their leathery wings and include some atmospheric staging elements in their show. Orchid are a band that bleeds atmosphere and this was the first time I've seen them where I felt they were completely in their element.

Anyway, I've come to admire Orchid incrementally over the past year. When I first heard them I wrote them off as just another band sucking on the teet of Sabbath... Then I saw them a couple of times and I was struck that, while they do borrow heavily from the Sabbath vibe, they have their own thing going on if you are paying attention. I had even more of a fan epiphany seeing them tonight as the band took full advantage of playing in a quality venue by laying down a volume carpet that was as heavy and thick as a 70's shag carpet warmed by a roaring fireplace.

(Photo courtesy of Photo Ray)

Anyway, the volume was unleashed with 'Down Into The Earth' as the set opener... and I like how the dudes in Orchid are not kids; they're seasoned musicians with history in alot of the same Rock and Metal that I was weened on. The rhythm section of Keith (bass) and Carter (drums) is tight but loose, like the foundation of skyscrapers in Tokyo that sway in a groove as the ground around them shakes. The best bands who are Children of Iommi understand that you have to lay down a groove for the volume to slide into... and that's what Orchid does so well. Theo's ghostly vocals do echo Ozzy circa-1971 but in a way that's haunting rather than obvious... and Mark is simply The King of TONE on the SG. All of these elements really came together on this rainy night in San Francisco during the band's 7-song set... which featured 2 new songs ('Mouths of Madness' and 'Saviours of The Blind') that bode well for the band's next album.

(Photo courtesy of Photo Ray)

Anyway, the random awkward moment of the night happened as I was exiting the Men's Room after Orchid's set. A long haired Metalhead kid stopped me and said "Excuse me.. I think I recognize you from the old pictures of Metallica.." WTF... The kid happened to be visiting California on vacation from his home in Italy (Hey Igor!) and had made a pilgrimage to The Bay Area to pay homage to his Metal heroes like Cliff Burton. I chatted with him for a bit, bought him a beer... and then I slipped out into the rainy San Francisco night and made my way back to Casa de Umlaut.

Anyway, I didn't do a merch audit but Orchid have the merch thing down; thumbs up for discharge printing! On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Then 4 days later it was...

Orange Goblin / The Gates Of Slumber
Bottom of the Hill, San Francisco
June 7, 2011

I didn't decide to go to this show until that morning and I didn't roll out of Casa de Umlaut until around 9:30pm... and I'm glad I pulled the trigger.

Anyway, The Gates Of Slumber brought the Doom to this Tuesday night. These 3 ancient souls from Indianapolis brought their Midwest Doom into San Francisco... and I have to be honest and say the were just "okay" for me but not great. The standard Doom groove was there but Karl's guitar solos didn't follow that groove and ventured into Guitar Center-ish noodly solos... which were not that compelling. However, an invisible shovel seemed to come down late in the set and widen the Doom groove and thankfully for the last 2 songs of the set the trio's sound was finally all in the same volume trench and they stepped it up to my jaded ears.

The Gates Of Slumber
(Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

Anyway, in between bands I chatted with friends... and The Bottom of the Hill was nicely crowded including members of Black Cobra, Saviours, High On Fire, and Slough Feg mixing in with the Tuesday night audience. Oh, The Scene... although the chick wearing the Yob shirt who sat alone in the back seating area crossed legged with eyes shut and meditating wasn't very Lock 'N Loll. Fuck that Hippie Shit. Later during Orange Goblin's set I noticed her wandering around aimlessly amongst the crowd. Don't take the brown acid...

Anyway, tonight's show was part of Orange Goblin' 15th Anniversary U.S. Tour and the band's first visit to San Francisco in 7 years. When one of England's finest bands hit the stage it was like the back wall of Bottom of the Hill suddenly slid forward to slam into me as they galloped into 'The Ballad of Solomon Eagle' ... and I knew it was going to be exactly the type of set I needed and wanted to see: No bullshit and all high voltage Lock 'N Loll.

Orange Goblin
(Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

Anyway, Joe is one of my favorite guitarists with his wah-wah-a-go-go tone and his first solo of the night during the opening song made me say "Fuck Yeah!" out loud to no one in particular. I love when a band hits the stage and it's immediately obvious they are the voice of experience when it comes to kicking ass. Orange Goblin are that type of band... Charging into battle for Queen and Country... For Jäger and Glory! Speaking of Jäger: The band gave out free Jäger sponsored shots cups at the merch table.

Swag makes the world go 'round.

Anyway, Ben is the quintessential type of front man to lead such a volume charge; never venturing far from the lip of the stage as he keeps the crowd engaged. Also, kudos to Martyn on bass for wearing a bootleg Slayer tee. On another note, there was an unusually large number of Yob t-shirts in the venue tonight as well. Weird.. Discuss amongst yourselves. All in all it was a grand Tuesday night... and the closing one-two encore of ' Time Travelling Blues' into the full tilt boogie of 'Scorpionica' was enough to make me take a second look at the band's merch table.

Anyway, number of vintage Girlschool "Lock Up Your Sons '82" Tour tees = 1 (worn by a dude who was way too young to have seen that tour!).. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. This month is the slowest month I've had in a long time for gigs... Hopefully this break will allow my brain to get back together with my Inner Writer Muse Thing... 'cause even writing this "rant" was a struggle.

Anyway...

Click HERE to see Sensory Abuse's shots from the night!

Talking 'Bout My Generation

Orchid
Thee Parkside, San Francisco
April 11, 2010

It was a Sunday night and the amount of rain falling on San Franfuckincisco was Biblical... but I still floated the Prius to Thee Parkside, which is oddly starting to become one of my favorite local venues these days.


I wasn't expecting much from tonight and only wanted to see Orchid, who were first on the bill and due to go on at 8:30pm (Sorry Slough Feg and Bible Of The Devil who were also on the bill..). I was expecting to be back inside the warm and dry confines of Casa de Umlaut early. However, not long after arriving I found myself with a beer in hand chatting to Mark of Orchid, Photo Ray, Scott, and Leah (who Umlaut has known since the Reagan Administration!) and the vibe of the evening became special. Another pleasant surprise was how nicely Thee Parkside filled up early for Orchid's set. It was storming outside, but inside the club it felt cozy. The Scene.

Indeed, Orchid's sound is unashamedly Sabbath but I've realized what sets Orchid apart from most of the other local bands is their veteran musicianship and sense of style (for lack of a better term). Like Umlaut, Orchid grew up and were influenced by a time when real Rock Stars roamed The Earth and when you discovered music by listening to an AM radio late at night in your bedroom. Mark channels every 70's guitar god, Theo channels every 70's front man, Carter channels every 70's Rock drummer, Nickel channels every 70's Rock bassist... and Orchid as a band channels every 70's Arena Rock band. Bad company 'til the day they die.

(Pic courtesy of Photo Ray)

Perhaps fueled by all the family and friends who were in the house, Orchid seemed to be playing on a special level tonight. They were in a groove from the first song and it was something that Orchid veteran Photo Ray noted as well. At one point, as Mark held a note that teetered on going over the edge into feedback he looked over at the rest of the band, Theo stomped his foot, and Carter and Nickel kicked in with their bottom end stomp... and Mark's Hand of Doom blasted off into a solo that reached back into time. Dude, where's the bong?? The set closing 'No One Makes A Sound' was really, really epic.


Umlaut is an Old Fart and Orchid, along with those other local retro heroes Saviours and Drunk Horse, are the bridge between *my* world and the rest of the local Metal Scene. The 70's Rock shit is in my blood because it's what changed my life in my pre-teen years listening to an AM radio late at night in my bedroom in ancient times. Humble Pie is as much a part of my DNA as Celtic Frost, man. Talking 'bout my ge-ge-generation.

Vid by Umlaut

Originally I was going to bail right after Orchid's set but, with the rain falling heavily on the tin roof of Thee Parkside's outside patio, it felt better to get another beer and wait the storm out. So, for the second time in a week, I found myself having an epic hang session on the club's patio shooting the shit with kindred Music Geek spirits. Very cool. Anytime when The Faces AND The Sisters Of Mercy come up in the same conversation it's special to me, man.

Again, apologies to Slough Feg and Bible Of The Devil for blowing them off, but the hang time was too precious. However, at one point when Bible Of The Devil were onstage I noted how they sounded like Thin Lizzy. When I ducked inside to check them out for a minute they launched into a decent cover of Lizzy's 'Hollywood'. Nicely done, guys. Talking 'bout my ge-ge-generation.

If you bought one of every Orchid merch item you would have paid $40 (I think). On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Rain, rain, rain... and as I'm typing this it's 10:45pm and the sump pump in the crawl space underneath Casa de Umlaut is making a funny noise... am I gonna have to go down there? Uh... yeah I do. Hope I die before I get old... 'til the day I die.

There's No Place Like Home

Pentagram / Ludicra / Slough Feg / Orchid
DNA Lounge, San Francisco
March 24, 2010

After having seen my last 8 shows in Ohio and Austin, it was nice getting back into the routine and see a show on my home turf again. Not long after getting into the Will Call line we ran into Bob, who used to work at the legendary Record Vault back in The Day. It was nice going to a show and see alot of familiar faces and Umlaut Nation friends.... The Scene... Home.

Once inside I had a flashback to a conversation I had last week in Austin at SxSW with someone about Orchid. We were sitting on a curb in Austin, killing time, and my friend was saying how they should have chosen another Black Sabbath song title for their name since there are, like, a dozen other bands named Orchid. He had a point. I'll cut *this* Orchid slack because I DO like them and I dig their new CD... but, man, they do cop ALOT of Black Sabbath circa 1970-71... The Orange amps... The Red SG. Their song 'Into The Sun' is the riff from 'Symptom Of The Universe'... The riff in their song 'Eastern Woman'... err.. "pays homage" to the riff from 'Children Of The Grave'. Their song 'No One Makes A Sound' is a bastard child of 'Supernaut'... but at least the bassist doesn't play a Rickenbacker. Sorry, Umlaut is a massive Sabbath geek... and anyone who's listened to their first 4 albums as intimately as me knows what I'm talking about. However, I don't mean to harsh on Orchid.... Hopefully they will bring something of their own to the Sabbath template in the future, like how Sleep used the Sabbath template but brought their own shit to the mix. I dig Orchid... and if I smoked weed they'd be playing during my nod time.


During Orchid's set there was some unnecessary drama with security over me accidently spilling some of my beer on a lady. Dudes, I was NOT drunk... sometimes gravity and an awkward move causes beer to spill... and I apologized to the lady and she accepted. No harm, no foul.. No need to go Jock on me.

Slough Feg has they've been around S.F. FOREVER. Back in the early-90's, when Umlaut was a xeroxed 'zine, the 'zine buyer at a now defunct comic store on Haight Street was an Umlaut fan and he always carried my issues... and he was the bassist in Slough Feg at the time (I forget his name). Fast forward to the 21st Century and I know people revere Slough Feg's brand of retro Metal and their longevity... but I've never connected with this band. As with Orchid, I understand why the kidz like it... but my old Thin Lizzy and Iron Maiden albums still hold up for me.

LUDICRA... NOW we're talking! They were the main reason why I was at the DNA tonight; THE undisputed headliners of The Bay Area Metal Scene! Having just seen Ludicra at Scion Fest in a basement I was beyond psyched to see them play a full set on a proper stage with a proper sound system behind them. Umlaut had some quality hang time with Ludicra in Ohio... and prior to their set I had some Ohio deja vu moments as I touched bases with Aesop at the merch table, Photo Ray and I chatted with Laurie about her Scion Fest experience... and I watched some of Slough Feg with Cobbett. The Scene. Home. As Ludicra were setting up their gear somebody came up to the stage and gave Cobbett a copy of George Benson's Weekend In L.A. live album.... and Cobbett played the riff from Benson's 'On Broadway' on his Les Paul. HILARIOUS! Music Geeks in The House!


According to The Umlaut Archives this was my 10th time seeing Ludicra. It's not often that I feel compelled to be against the stage for a band, but Ludicra are one of those bands who I've always been right up front for... They opened with a double shot of the new songs 'Stagnant Pond' > 'In Stable' and I was immediately sucked into the Ludicra universe as I've always been since the first time I saw them.

Ludicra's diabolical mix of Metal and Prog Rock is a force of unholy nature whose fury always catches me off guard when they play live. No matter how many times I've seen them, I'm never prepared for the intensity of their onslaught. The band is one of the most compelling and undeniable live bands I've ever seen. Ludicra create a wall of darkness and volume that is simply impenetrable.

During their set, as I have in the past, I've simply closed my eyes and let the band's music get into my head. Yeah, that's probably kinda Hippie Shit... but it's the reaction I have. Ludicra on this night was a religious experience... and I don't mean a "God" experience... I mean their songs and fury took me to a different place. The complexity of Ludicra's music (the interweaving guitars, melodies, vocals, heaviness, dynamics) is something that seems to translate BETTER onstage than on their recordings, which is the opposite of alot of bands. The new songs are just mindblowing and as brutal as Ludicra are I find their volume strangely and profoundly calming. Inner peace through mayhem. HAIL!!

I missed Pentagram last year when they played S.F. because I was out of town. Oh, man... Pentagram 2010... or aka The Bobby Leibling Band as a friend described it. Seeing Pentagram was in stark contrast to the Saint Vitus show a couple of months ago. Saint Vitus, another resurrected band from the past, were in top form musically and sounded completely relevant.... 2010's version of Pentagram not so much. Alot of it was probably due to the fact that the band's guitarist quit a week ago the day before the current U.S. Tour was scheduled to start... and evidently the new guitarist was hired within 6 HOURS. As we were waiting in the Will Call line, an old friend told me that during soundcheck Bobby told him their set would run 5 songs plus a "jam session". Uh-oh..... "Jam session".....

As Pentagram took the stage I knew what was coming. Whereas Ludicra came onstage as a unit, Pentagram looked like "The Bobby Leibling Band": The singer with some musicians. They didn't look like "a band"... and during the first song Bobby stood behind the new guitarist and I don't know if it was to coach him through the song... but it started getting a bit too homoerotic to me and I started feeling uncomfortable watching it... Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just prefer my Rockers to ROCK and not RUB. Just saying...


Anyway, I was just hoping they'd play the one song I wanted to hear earlier rather than later... and, thankfully, the 2nd song of the set was 'Forever My Queen'... and so we hit the exit. From what I heard later, I'm glad we made an early retreat before the 20 minute train wreck jam session...

I didn't do a merch audit, but before heading back to Casa de Umlaut we stopped for a midnight burrito in The Mission. Perfect. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. As I said earlier, it was nice to be seeing a local show again... The Scene. Home.