The Wall

Roger Waters: The Wall Live
HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
December 7, 2010

Because of my FM Radio Classic Rock upbringing it was hard to ignore the hype around this tour… but the steep ticket prices made me say "Oh well..." and I had a flashback to the hyped up, expensive, but underwhelming Rolling Stones show I saw back in 2005. However, The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways and an hour before show time we were at Will Call picking up comp tickets. Thanks to The Talent for hooking me up!

Tonight's show was the 2nd of 3 Bay Area shows (1 in Oakland and 2 in San Jose) and it was also the 61st Anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. It was also the day before the anniversaries of the murders of both John Lennon and Dimebag Darrell (It's trippy that both of them were shot on the same date, right?). Before the houselights went down a couple of Lennon songs were played over the PA… but they didn’t play any Pantera. I guess Roger Waters is as sick of hearing 'Walk' as I am.

I’ve never been a Pink Floyd aficionado so I was gobsmacked to learn that one-time Thin Lizzy guitarist Snowy White would be onstage and has been a long time member of Roger Waters’ band. He also performed with Pink Floyd in the 70’s and on some of the original Wall concerts in 1980. How did I not know this before??! My Inner Music Geek is a poser.

I went into the show with preconceived ideas about what it was going to be like. I was expecting the show to be somewhat cheesy and overblown. I was expecting myself to have a detached experience because how "intimate" could such a massive arena show be? I've been going to concerts for well over half my life at this point and I've seen it all, man... or so I thought.

To my surprise, seeing The Wall live was the complete opposite of my expectations in almost every way. Eventhough we were up in the nosebleed seats, it was like watching an amazing theater production AND a mind blowing concert experience. There was more pyro and drama during the opening sequence of 'In The Flesh?' > 'The Thin Ice' than I've seen during entire concerts, including a plane "flying" across the arena to crash into the stage at one point!

Holy Shit!
(Photo courtesy of Photo Ray)

I thought the performance would be a straight clinical run through of the album. However, a couple of times Waters paused to address the crowd in such a personable and humble way that it gave the massive show moments of intimacy and personality. His intro before 'Mother' about the course The Wall has taken over the past 30 years was really cool and the performance of the song (with vintage footage of himself from 1980 performing the song projected across the entire stage) was a haunting audio / visual time machine.

The fact that the album's story about self-imposed isolation from society still resonates so profoundly 30 years after its release speaks volumes; the more things change the more they stay the same. It was also profound for me that a performance of this ALBUM has been drawing such big ticket sales and it seemed like everyone around me was completely mesmerized and caught up in the performance. Despite being up in the nosebleed section, there was barely any of the idle chatter and short attention span crowd behavior that usually accompanies a massive arena show like this. It was inspiring to see so many people getting caught up in the performance of an ALBUM that obviously meant a lot to most of them, especially when we live in a time in Music History when singles rule and albums are a dead art form. Either that or they were all tripping on some good acid or stoned on some prime weed.


It's very hard for me to write about this show because it was so visual and was an astonishing mix of modern digital technology and video combined with old school theater production. Dude, they actually BUILT The Wall onstage brick by brick! Once The Wall was completed (at the conclusion of the song 'Goodbye Cruel World') it acted as a massive video screen for the rest of the show.

'Another Brick In The Wall' in San Jose

(Photo courtesy of Photo Ray)

I marveled at how any band could possibly pull a show off of this magnitude. Usually my Inner Music Geek notices details of a production as they happen, but the production of this show was so seamless it appeared to be magic at times. Props appeared out of nowhere. Waters and the band emerged to perform on the audience side of The Wall seemingly from out of nowhere. Guitarist Dave Kilminster appeared on top of the wall to solo during 'Comfortably Numb'. The choreography and precision of the production was staggering... and the performance of the iconic songs was flawless.

"Teacher! Leave them kids alone!"
(Photo courtesy of Photo Ray)

Dude, I guess Pink Floyd really were an amazing band. For the newbies: I don't have the time or brain cells to explain what The Wall "means" or "symbolizes" or "represents"... All I can say is that seeing the album performed live was like having one of your most disturbing and haunting dreams brought to life. It... was... mind blowing.

'Outside The Wall'...

Another thing that blew me away during the night was how brazen, ballsy, and aggressive the bootleg t-shirt vendors were selling their $20 tees (which compared to the $40-$45 official tees). The pirate vendors were swarming everywhere: in the restaurants / bars near the venue, on the sidewalk in front of the venue, and even INSIDE the venue! BALLS!

I tried to do a merch audit but gave up, but I think if you bought one of every The Wall Live t-shirt alone you would have paid around $480. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. I've listened to The Wall album all the way through twice since witnessing this show and I still don't have my head around the concert and what I saw... Mind blowing.


Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from the night!

What I Did This Summer

I've said this before in this space: If you're one of those whose perception of Green Day is stuck in 1994 then bummer for you, man.. You might as well stop reading this right now. For the rest of you: Back in April, Umlaut got a taste of what was ahead with Green Day when they did a series of local sneak shows. IMO Green Day have evolved into The Who of their generation and Umlaut, like, totally digs them... If this loses me even more of my overrated cred with Metalheads I really don't give a shit.. 'cause I'll always have more Metal cred than you... seriously. My resume is available upon request, dude. However, if it helps, I will try to work in as many references to Goatwhore into this piece as possible.

Back in 2004-05, Umlaut's Stalking Tour Manager Doug Tour took in a total of 6 shows in 3 countries and 4 cities and this tour has already eclipsed that mark. It's been another magical Music Geek adventure living the Lock 'N Loll Magic here in 2009.

The exciting sequel to Road Trip! New Orleans > Houston > San Jose > Sacramento... Here we go..


New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, LA
August 7, 2009

The Big Easy: It's been a couple of years since the last time Umlaut visited Skychick's hometown. Number of Texans who thought I was a chick during our layover in Houston = 1. We arrived a day and a half in advance of the show to hang out with friends. This was Umlaut's 3rd post-Katrina visit and it's shocking how much damage is still evident as the 4th Anniversary of that disaster approaches. It's still obvious how much Katrina changed N'awlins forever and there will always be an underlying sadness about the city, which I find very compelling and even attractive...because I tend to like the dark side of life. Dog bless NoLa and its inhabitants forever, man.

I'm sure you will agree that 97 degree heat with 90% humidity isn't fun weather even when you're doing the Lock 'N Loll thing. Earlier in the day we drove past the arena and I must give props to the 150-200 or so kidz who were waiting in line for the GA floor in that weather. Hardcore.. although I have to say the Panzerfaust I saw at the World War II Museum that afternoon was even more hardcore:


Prior to the show we had an awesome dinner and cold beers with friends at Acme Oyster House in The French Quarter; me love The Quarter long time... and Go Cups are such a civilized concept! Thanks to Tour Manager Doug (TMD) for arranging for us to bring our dear NoLa friends to the show.. and a shout out to Alida, Cindy, Rachel, Kelly, and Mark. We watched the show from Section 114, Row 2.. Nice...

Tonight was the Kaiser Chiefs final night on the tour and Green Day really knows how to prank their support acts! Prior to the show, the Green Day camp hired a local N'awlins jazz brass band and as the Kaiser Chiefs started playing their hit 'I Predict A Riot' the brass band stormed the stage to play alongside the Brits as members of Green Day and their crew covered the stage with toilet paper from behind the backline... The Brits had no idea what hit them; a fantastic prank by anyone's standards!

Of course, this night was highlighted by our close encounter with sometimes N'awlins resident Benjamin Button... which was rather surreal. Click HERE for Umlaut's previous post about that paparazzi moment. Trivia: Benjamin Button drank a Stella during the show brought to him by his assistant and a Green Day crew guy brought Maddox one of Tre Cool's drum sticks. Also, TMD revealed he sat us directly behind Benjamin Button on purpose. Yes! However, this celebrity close encounter didn't really distract me from the show and it actually made the night that much more special... Although my water bottle was in the cup holder attached to the back of Benjamin Button's chair; I had to be careful not to spill water on him so his bodyguard wouldn't take me out.

It's been documented how Green Day has a connection with N'awlins.. and that was evident during the performance. The band's energy, especially Billie Joe, were jacked up a notch as they blazed through the set... and the crowd energy was at flood levels the entire night. Special. The show in short: Green Day played at The Superdome when it reopened in 2007 after Katrina. To honor N'awlins: They performed 'The Saints Are Coming' mid-set (a song they hadn't performed since The Superdome's reopening and Billie Joe said they would only play it in N'awlins..), added a bit of 'When The Saints Go Marching In' during the saxophone bit in 'King For A Day', and Billie Joe sang 'When September Ends' acoustic that led straight into the show closing 'Good Riddance'. The former song means alot to many Katrina survivors (Katrina hit on August 29, 2005) and the band had not performed it on this tour until that moment (Note: This was the only time the song was performed on the just completed North American Tour..). It was a moment when the music became transcendent, man... The emotions in the arena was thick enough to cut with a knife at that moment; I teared up. Magic.

One change in the set since the beginning of the tour was Billie Joe did a medley of METAL riffs at one point.. which was great because it was so unexpected. In N'awlins he did a selection of Van Halen riffs; I'd forgotten how cool 'Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love' sounds in an arena.

After seeing so many shows on one tour, my Inner Music Geek noticed little things.. Things like changes and tweaks in the stage production and the setlist since the first arena shows in July; visuals had been changed and some regular songs were switched around in the main setlist. The biggest change since the start of the tour was that the band was now switching up the setlist every night mid-set and also during the Billie Joe's solo acoustic portion of the encore; it made each show unique and more interesting.. Highlight: The previously mentioned 'When September Ends' > 'Good Riddance' emotional doubleshot to close the show.

New Orleans Afterwards: All Arenas Look The Same

Goatwhore are from N'awlins, but I think I might have been the only Goatwhore fan in the house tonight. Behemoth shirts = 1 (mine). On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. I have to say New Orleans was my favorite show of this leg of the Stalking TMD Tour... none of the other shows had the raw emotion attached to it IMO. Magic.

Toyota Center, Houston, TX
August 8, 2009

There was some flight delay drama at the New Orleans Airport the next morning and for awhile it was looking like Skychick and I might not make it to Houston. However, every once in awhile The Rock Godz give Umlaut a reality check... and in the end everything fell into place and we made it to Texas just fine... 'cause Texas is the reason, y'all.. but it did take us 6 fucking hours.

Prior to the show we had an awesome meal with friends at The Broken Spoke where they had Chimay Blue on tap (!); so civilized. Thanks to TMD for arranging for us to bring some Houston friends to the show including a trio of cool kids.. The 11-year old girl owns a pony and has a huge Rock Star Crush on Billie Joe... The 2 boys (15 and 16-years old) play guitar and *know* music... I was genuinely impressed to meet teenagers who don't play Guitar Hero or Rock Band but who wanted to talk about how awesome they think Metallica is and how they were thinking about learning to play the banjo. Those kids are gonna be alright! We watched the show from Section 107, Row 7.. Nice.


After seeing so many shows on one tour, my Inner Music Geek noticed little things.. Things like miscues with the production. In Houston, the thematic video during '21 Guns' didn't start playing until the middle of the song. I don't know, I found that interesting... Anyway..

One change in the set since the beginning of the tour was Billie Joe did a medley of METAL riffs at one point.. which was great because it was so unexpected. In Houston he did a selection of Mötley Crüe riffs and I'm pretty sure he also threw in ZZ Top's 'La Grange'. Note to bands: The easiest way to win a Texas crowd over is to play a ZZ Top riff and put a cowboy hat on.. It works everytime... 'cause Texas is the reason, y'all.

Highlight: A good solid set and they played 'Murder City' for the first time on the arena tour. However, the one thing that stuck in my head was how the crowd booed when President Obama's name appeared on the jumbo tron screen in between bands... and I found it ironic that so many Red State voters wanted to see Green Day. Hmm... Discuss amongst yourselves.

Other Goatwhore fans besides me = 0.. Nine Inch Nails shirts =1. On the way back to the San Francisco, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags... which kinda makes sense I guess. On the flight back to S.F. I was seated next to a WAY too chatty old man! In the time it took (1) For me to sit down next to him and (2) The plane to taxi from the terminal to the runway the chatty old man told me (1) He had just returned from Honduras (2) He was dismissive of technology such as e-mail and (3) His grandson plays chess. To which I said to myself "SHUT... THE... FUCK.. UP!!" However, since I have manners I shut him down by (1) Not responding with some personal trivia of my own and (2) Pulling out the latest issue of Decibel with Nergal of Behemoth on the cover and a full page ad for the new Suffocation album on the back.

HP Pavilion, San Jose, CA
August 18, 2009

Prior to the show Skychick and I ate at the New Orleans themed Poor House Bistro, which actually wasn't bad (usually N'awlins food outside of Louisiana doesn't cut it..)... and it brought Umlaut's August full circle in a way.

As we approached the Will Call window we passed a couple of Christian protesters with a bullhorn (YES.. Christians were protesting at a fucking Green Day concert!).. At practically the same moment we noticed TMD walking in the other direction attending to something, and as he passed the Christians he shouted them down with pro-Satan rhetoric. Watching TMD represent evil like that gave me a sense of deja vu back to when we were teenage Slayer fans; nicely done my brother! We then walked into the arena with TMD via the truck ramp and were able to spend a bit of quality time hanging in his office backstage eating cookies. Lock 'N Loll.

The Umlaut Nation was nicely represented at this show, so a shout out to Skychick, Teri, Timo, Jerry, The Man, The Sheriff, and Photo Ray. Thanks to TMD we were able to upgrade the concert experience for a 17-year old member of Teri's clan visiting from New York City.. Long story short: Green Day are his favorite band > front row seats > backstage > photos with band members. Awesome. We watched from Section 128, Row 1.. VERY nice.

The show in short: A marathon 3 HOUR homecoming set... WOW. During the main set closing 'American Eulogy' they threw in a bit of 'Homecoming'. They say a picture is worth a thousand words... so here are 2,000 words on the San Jose show:

Pyro

Confetti

After seeing so many shows on one tour, my Inner Music Geek noticed little things.. Things like miscues with the production. In San Jose, one of the pyro sparkler things during '21 Guns' malfunctioned a bit and burned longer than the others. I don't know, I found that interesting... Anyway.. One change in the set since the beginning of the tour was Billie Joe did a medley of METAL riffs at one point.. which was great because it was so unexpected. In San Jose he did a selection that included 'Master Of Puppets' and 'Stairway To Heaven'.

Highlight: A tough one since the entire set was ratcheted up all night due to the homecoming nature of the night, which included Billie Joe having his Mom come onstage... but I have to say the nightly one-two of 'Longview' > 'Basket Case' was especially great; the sequence featured a kid from the crowd onstage to sing 'Longview' who was then made to do a running stage dive accompanied by a drum roll... and as the kid hit the air some PYRO was blown and the opening riff to 'Basket Case' kicked in and the crowd's reaction blew the roof off the arena. Magic.

San Jose Afterwards: All Arenas Look The Same

Other Goatwhore fans besides me = 2 (Timo, Photo Ray). On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. This was Umlaut's 50th concert of the year; I've had a busy year, man.

Arco Arena, Sacramento, CA
August 24, 2009

In recent years, the only band I've made the trek to Sacramento for has been Slayer, because there's nothing like seeing Slayer in the cradle of California White Supremacy. However, I don't think White Power made an appearance at this show. Unfortunately, Skychick couldn't make this gig, so I was accompanied by Old Metal Tim for the 180 mile roundtrip to California's state capital. On the way we had to make a pit stop in Vacaville because we were starving and, for better or worse, chose Mel's Diner. The merits of that decision can be a subject of debate... but let's move on.

When Old Metal Tim and I got to our seats, I noticed the man next to me holding some photos and he soon made it obvious he was trying to get my attention with them since we were wearing VIP laminates... and I bit.. which was a mistake. The couple were the parents of the kid who Green Day pulled onstage to play guitar during 'Jesus Of Suburbia at the first show in Seattle. While they sat in the stands, their son was down at the front hoping to get pulled onstage again. To be fair, their kid was good during his 9 minutes of "fame" in Seattle.. At first I thought it was cool, since I'd witnessed their son's performance. However, the parents were acting like HE was a member of the band now. It was weird.. They had photos of their son taken with the band at a Meet & Greet.. a pic of him onstage in Seattle... I asked if he had a band and they said "No" and I realized I shouldn't have started talking to them; it was like talking to the parents of someone in a cover band. Thankfully the houselights went down at about that time and I ignored them the rest of the evening...

Old Metal Tim > Umlaut > Cover Band Parents
(Pic by Wexford Girl)

The show in short: GD played the 2nd longest set of the tour... a staggering 3 HOURS and 15-20 MINUTES onstage! Unbelievable.. Best moment: Billie Joe noticing a meathead causing trouble down front, going to the lip of the stage and getting the guy's attention and asking him what his problem was... and the meathead telling Billie Joe to fuck off... to which Billie Joe replied "Fuck ME?! Fuck YOU!!" and as the meathead was escorted out by security the arena went nuts. I had forgotten how Arco Arena is a bit smaller and configured differently than other arenas, which gives it a more intimate atmosphere than other big venues. Plus, the stands are PLYWOOD and during the show they were bouncing as the crowd went nuts and also allowed the crowd to make a deafening stomping sound with their feet. Dramatically awesome.

One change in the set since the beginning of the tour was Billie Joe did a medley of METAL riffs at one point.. which was great because it was so unexpected. In Sac he pulled out all the stops and did a Metallica medley ('Fight Fire With Fire' > 'Master Of Puppets' > 'One') as well as Scorpions ('Rock You Like A Hurricane') and Van Halen ('Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love' > 'Eruption'). Billie Joe can play guitar, dude.

Highlights: This show had even more a homecoming vibe than San Jose and the crowd energy was off the hook all night. A surprise bonus encore of 'Going To Pasalacqua' was great... as was the audible of 'J.A.R.' when Billie Joe noticed a kid at the rail holding a sign requesting it... but as at all of the shows on this leg of the tour I was blown away how GREAT the band's new songs sound in a big space; Arena Rock at its finest. Although the hometown area San Jose crowd was great, I have to say the band's hometown area Sacramento crowd was better.

The Umlaut Nation was nicely represented at this show, so a shout out to Old Metal Tim, The Man, Wexford Girl, and The Bassist. We watched from Section 119, Row 5... Nice.

According to the Umlaut Archives, this was my 20th Green Day show dating back to circa 1992 when I saw them in an art warehouse space at 18th & Mission in S.F.. Other Goatwhore fans besides me = 1 (The Bassist). On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. The heavy Sacramento Police presence that lined the streets on the way out of town was so unnecessary, but they gotta have something to do on a Monday night I guess.

Fuck all the non-believers: Green Day Rules. They are THE best live band going these days. No other band out there is throwing down 2 to 3+ hour sets every night with as much energy, unpredictability, good songs (and PYRO!) and the cross generational makeup of their fanbase now is cool to behold. Yes, my soul is Metal... but I always leave a Green Day show with a smile on my face.. and sometimes that's more important than Metal. It's a live experience that transcends being simply "a concert"; it's a life-affirming thing... and it's profound and rare to get that from a band these days.

So ends Umlaut's Stalking Tour Manager Doug North American Tour 2009... 10 shows.. 2 countries.. 8 cities. Europe next? Hmmm... THANKS as always to TMD for the hospitality! Keep it real out there... for The Kidz!

The Pot calling The Kettle black in New Orleans..

Speaking of The Kidz: The best part of this Summer was being able to expose some kidz to the Green Day concert experience for the first time. Seeing amazing Arena Rock shows changed my life when I was their age and, in this age of computer games and so many other distractions, it was awesome to see the look of awe and excitement all of the kidz had on their faces after the shows. I totally remember that feeling... Also, Green Day are the perfect entry level substance for young Music Geeks that can lead them to harder stuff; I'm already burning some Goatwhore CDs.

What did I do this Summer? I did missionary work for The Rock Godz.

My Heart Will Go On

Celine Dion
HP Pavilion, San Jose, CA
February 20, 2009

Once upon a time, Umlaut worked with a woman who would always say she looked like Celine Dion; I never saw it. She did have long brown hair like Celine Dion, but past that I didn't see the resemblance. My co-worker was a sweet person and I always nodded in agreement when she'd mention her doppelganger.... Then I caught an interview with Celine Dion on t.v.. and, goddamit, but when she smiled she *did* look like my co-worker; actually the resemblance was uncanny. I stood corrected.

Fast forward to the 21st Century and Umlaut found himself approaching HP Pavilion with Skychick to attend a performance by Canada's national treasure. Now, before my Metal friends start deleting my contact info, I must clarify that my attendance was work related... and to be honest, I was curious to experience Celine Dion live; she's sold the same amount of albums worldwide as Metallica (over 200 MILLION albums to date) so there's obviously an entire society of Celine fans who I have absolutely no clue about... I would also be completely out of my element, which would be interesting as well.

Traffic around downtown San Jose was a bit of a clusterfuck. We were late getting to the show and missed the first song as I got my +1 sorted outside (Thanks Benny!) and then had to deal with THE most incompetent ushers ever... However, long story short, once we did find our seats everything was forgiven because they were KILLER...

Pic by Umlaut

The stage was set in the round (like Metallica's recent tour) and Celine was backed onstage by 8 musicians and 10 dancers. Celine had 6 wardrobe changes and I kept trying to watch the guitar players (one of whom also played violin) to see if they were really playing or not. The show's sound was unbelievably clean and the instruments sounded unbelievably processed as well; I suspected the vocals of the 3 back up singers was canned most of the time. I also wondered if Celine's crew guys scored alot of pussy on The Road because there were ALOT of chicks in the audience, dude. WAY more than at a Slayer show.

Pic by Skychick

I had been having the worst allergy attack all day and during the show my sinuses were draining down the back of my throat. I'm sure it was my body reacting to what I was subjecting it to; I was going into withdrawals from the lack of Metal. However, I sucked it up because our seats were in a prime section (face value was $200 EACH...)... so if I was going to have be in Heaven (Hell would have been Metal) at least it was from this sweet vantage spot; at times Celine was no more than a few feet from us.

To be fair, Celine does have a genuinely impressive singing voice from a technical standpoint, but her material pretty much all sounded the same to me; the songs went in one ear and out the other. She did a song with some famous Italian singer whose name I don't know, but the guy appeared via a video recording and Celine sang the "duet" with him that way.. . Yes, VERY cheesy, but Lynyrd Skynyrd did the same thing the last time I saw them so the Van Zant brothers could "sing" a duet together; cheesy is not limited to just Pop Music. The only songs I recognized were covers of a Heart song ('Alone') and a Tina Turner song ('River Deep Mountain High'), but they were so glitzed out it took me a moment to realize what songs they were.. However, no matter what she performed, everyone in the sold out arena was waiting for Celine to perform THAT song from the Titanic soundtrack.

While watching Celine perform 'My Heart Will Go On' I thought my heart would explode with joy and rainbows...... Okay, not really. You know, I've never seen Titanic all the way through (shocking!); I've only seen parts of it here and there when it's been on cable over the years. However, even I can't deny that the song has become the 'Stairway To Heaven' for millions of normal people. Does anybody remember laughter?

That being said, does anybody else find it odd that Princess Diana died less than 4 months before Titanic was released?? IMO, the global grief over her death was the main reason behind most of The Earth's population embracing both the movie's tragic story and also the song that embodied the onscreen tragedy; Titanic is the highest grossing movie in history and the song is one of the biggest selling singles ever as well. Did you know the movie's release was delayed 5 months due to "delays" in post production... 5 months... Plenty of time to plan the assassination of a Princess and create a marketing plan to exploit a planet's grief. Coincidence?? OR something more sinister?? Discuss amongst yourselves..

Anyway, at one point during 'My Heart Will Go On', a girl rushed the stage and got on the other side of the security barrier and tried to touch Celine as she sang... and not one security person tried to stop her.. and once she got to the stage none of the security seemed to know what to do about her. Worst concert security ever, but that girl ruled The Pit for sure.

Surprisingly, I had fun watching Celine's 2 hour performance; I felt like a spy inside The House Of Normal People.. It felt like a field trip into another world. I had nothing in common to what was going on around me but it was interesting to observe what "normal people" consider live entertainment; it was like Las Vegas had been dropped into downtown San Jose! Suburbia was enthralled by the flashing lights, the costume changes, the dancers, and the iconic Pop Queen onstage... and the arena was sold out despite the very expensive tickets so obviously the economy isn't bad for certain things.

Best Quote: "This is like watching t.v.!" - Skychick.

My favorite things about the performance were (1) How Celine knew exactly where every video camera was around the stage so she could wink or blow a kiss for the video screens and give the nosebleed seats some love; she did it so naturally it was eerie and I'm sure some fanboys up there thought she was winking at them personally... and (2) How Celine pronounced San Jose as "SAN HO-SAYY" trying to give it that ethnic pronunciation. "SAN HO-SAYY!! SAN HO-SAYY!"

Pic by Skychick

Anyway, Umlaut has been fortunate to have seen many of Canada's musical treasures live and in concert over the years, from Neil Young to Triumph to Rush to Loverboy to Fucked Up... and now I can add Celine Dion to that list. Do I qualify for socialized medical coverage now?!

Number of Ministry beanies = 1 (some kid with his parents). If you bought one of every Celine merch item you would have paid around $430. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Cradle Of Filth is still the worst show I've seen so far this year.. So chew on this: Cradle Of Filth are worse than Celine Dion... There, I said it.

Addendum: Evidently, the San Jose show was Celine Dion's first Bay Area show in 10 years. Umlaut friend Lauraloha added her backstage experiences from back in The Day with Celine:

This has got to be the strangest review I've ever read by Umlaut. Hands down, the strangest.

Your amiga Lauraloha has worked many Celine Dion shows and I am here to report that, NO, the crew does not score alot of "pussy" because they are all very straight, hard working Canadians who have been next to Celine for most of their professional lives or so it seemed.....they all speak French, the Canadian kind, not the real stuff, and Celine joins them for all meals. Yup. Believe it.

She actually opened the door for yours truly while I stood there with two hands full of towels staring at a closed door....she came up behind me and opened the friggin door and was very nice about it. I'd like to see Lars Ulrich do that.

It's a large traveling circus family and Celine is the mama.

Did she snap her fingers and clap her one hand on her hip incessantly? That's what I remember most. That and the fucking Titanic song over and over again burned into my synapses......

Anyhow, good on ya Umlaut. Next up, Neil Diamond. That's where it really gets good.

Click HERE to relive another of Lauraloha's great Rock N' Roll adventures.

Heroes - Part Two

The exciting conclusion to Heroes - Part One!

Heaven And Hell / Megadeth / Machine Head
HP Pavilion, San Jose, CA
April 24, 2007



What was it I said in Heroes - Part One a couple of days ago?

"I couldn't think of a more appropriate show to see at this moment in my life... unless it was Black Sabbath with Dio on vocals.. and what are the odds THAT would be happening at this same moment in history too??"

The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways and I'm humbled by their generosity.

Of all my Metal heroes, I have to say the Black Sabbath lineup featuring Ronnie James Dio on vocals is one I'm beholden to the most. For the newbies: One story is the band is using the name Heaven And Hell ("H&H") instead of Black Sabbath to avoid confusing the posers expecting to see Mr. Sharon on the mic; I'll buy that.

Besides, Ozzy these days is a court jester who throws buckets of water on himself and the crowd during shows to distract from his diminished vocal abilities; he's a shadow of his former self. Meanwhile, Ronnie James Dio is still the consummate Rock front man whose vocals have remained impressive with age. Fuck Ozzy; DIO!!

On the walk from the parking lot, I found a ticket on the sidewalk underneath an overpass a block from the arena…and it happened to be a comp (guest list) reserved seat in a good section. It was almost like we'd stumbled upon the scene of some dark event.. Who knows what fell creatures stalk Dio these long nights.. "A Hobbit lay here... he crawled.. his hands were bound.. but his bonds were cut..."

What? Oh yeah... Sorry...

Anyway, The God Squad was present outside the arena trying to convert the Heavy Metal sinners to their team. I laughed out loud when the God Squad Leader preached over his bullhorn how we would all burn in "a lake of fire" for our sins, which caused some Metal Kidz to shout "YEAHH!!". Talk about not knowing your audience, Mr. God Squad Leader! If you want to scare Metal Kidz you have to use a threat, like, spending eternity with Christians in a boring place like Heaven, which I envision being a massive suburban shopping mall complete with crap music playing over the PA.

San Jose God Squad (Pic by Timo)

This seems as good a time as any to quote Dio's legendary live version of the song 'Heaven And Hell':

"There's a little white shape looking down at me,
Saying "I know where you ought to be…
Come with me, because I know just what to do"..
But I say "Go away! I'm gonna burn in Hell with all of you!!"

Dio is so Metal.. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Machine Head: I wasn't even inside the building when they played.

Megadeth: We walked into the arena for, like, 45 seconds to watch them and then went back out to the lobby and I immediately ran into a gang of Old Metal Bruthas and chatted with 'em… which was WAY more Metal than Mustaine could ever be.

Heaven And Hell: I've seen every Dio-era Sabbath tour and how Dio manages to deliver his majestic vocals like that every night is one of the mysteries of The Universe. How has Dio preserved his voice over the years? Was he once given a magical elixir by an immortal Elven prince?? Also, does Dio buy his stage clothes off the rack at the Ren Faire?

Tony Iommi's axe wielding has always been profoundly more melodic with the Dio lineup, and watching him play is like following Aragorn as he wields Anduril and wades into a sea of Orcs... or something like that.

Admittedly, the pacing of the set dragged a bit in the middle IMO, but my only real complaint is that I can't stand drum solos.. and Vinny Appice, you are The Weakest Link... However, the new songs were good in the "live performance" setting... and Geezer Butler on bass is always magic; I was especially tripping on his finger work during 'Neon Knights'.

For the record my favorite portion of the night's program was 'Die Young' > 'Heaven And Hell'. It's a testament to the greatness of the latter song that I completely geeked out when Dio sang the iconic closing lyrics and that after the show the streets around the arena echoed with fans singing the melody.

Random Notes:

• In between songs, Dio did The Rock Lock with fans in the front row.
• The Caveman was there (The Bay Area Old School know who I'm talking about)!!
• Halfway through the set, 5 or 6 security guys wrestled some dude to the floor in front of us and held him face down for several minutes before dragging him off.. I'm sure he deserved it.
• It was nice being at an Arena Rock show where a bra got thrown onstage.. Old School!
  

Sidebar: I guess it was kinda ironic that H&H played the song 'Computer God' in the heart of Silicon Valley in a building named HP (Hewlett Packard) Pavilion. At least I thought so...

This was one of those shows where the Umlaut Nation was out in full force, so a shout out to Ted, Timo, Dave, Richard, Chris J., Chris S., Mark, Craig, Sven, Erik, Loren, Raymond, and Rich. All dudes and no chicks! Hmmm. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Also, Rock Star Sighting = Phil Kennemore. I know… 1/4 of you are saying "Cool!" and the other 3/4 are saying "Who?". I shoulda had my pic taken with him. Squeeze! Word is his guitarist was also in attendance.

If you bought one of every Heaven And Hell merch item you would have paid $590. Dude, you could get a copy of the new Black Sabbath: The Dio Years CD autographed by all 4 members for $75; Dio's handwriting sure is pretty. You could also get a drum head signed by Vinny Appice for a mere $40. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. I wonder if I'll ever be put into songs or tales....

I wonder if people will ever say, "Let's hear the story about Umlaut seeing the Stooges and Heaven And Hell within 3 days of each other."

And they'll say "Yes, that's one of my favorite stories. Umlaut was really courageous, wasn't he, dad."

"Yes, my boy, the most famous of Hobbits. And that's saying a lot."

However, my story would end before the Hobbits went gay on each other like in the movie... Not that there's anything wrong with that!

"They say that life's a carousel, spinning fast you've got to ride it well.. The world is full of kings and queens who blind your eyes, then steal your dreams.."

+1

The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways. Funny how things go around then come around... Green Day and Metallica are arguably the biggest bands in their respective genres. Both are rooted in the Bay Area and Umlaut was fortunate enough to have witnessed their infancies in divey clubs back in The Day(s). As the curtain began to fall on 2004, both mega-acts ended their respective tours at home.. And The Rock Godz sent forth Angels to assist Umlaut and his trusty confidante Skychick with each event.

Ready? Here we go:

Green Day - Bill Graham Civic, S.F. - Nov. 24, 2004



Twas the final show of the American Idiot 2004 U.S. Tour. Did you know that Green Day has sold 20 MILLION albums worldwide? That's basically equal to the population of Australia. Throw another studded belt on the barbie.

In 1991, Big Wayne told me to check Green Day out so I did. I think the first time I saw them was at a warehouse / art space in The Mission... I still root for the lads, even if they did spawn all of the gutless 3rd rate punk bands inhabiting MTV and Hot Topic these days... but you can't blame them for that. Good bands spawn crap bands.. Tis the Music Biz.

The 8,100 capacity Civic was sold out weeks in advance and tickets were going for up to $113 each ($30 face value) on Ebay. Punks Not Dead. It had been 12 years since I last saw GD and I actually dig their "critically acclaimed" new album quite a bit. However, despite that, I was still expecting the show to be a Hot Topic Mallrat faux punk show. 'Cause I've seen it all before, kids these days, a mile in the snow uphill barefoot, blah blah blah.

But you know what?? I realized what a jaded old fart I was for having that expectation. For one brief shining moment I had become my parents. Gee Mr. Umlaut, not ALL of the music The Kidz listen to today is crap.

Green Day were fucking GREAT GREAT GREAT on all levels. Showmanship. Musicianship. Songs. Pyro. Humor. And The Kidz LOVED them. They still had a bit of that East Bay attitude that people who remember Gilman St. before there was a yuppie brew pub across the street would appreciate.

(Note: I was once knocked off my feet by The Pit at Gilman... but I've also been to that brew pub. The fish 'n chips are excellent.. I sold out a long time ago, kids.)

Best Moments - The show opening blast of 'American Idiot'... The band's onstage musical versatility via some additional musicians (guitar / keyboards / horns) left me gobsmacked. A version of the Operation Ivy song 'Knowledge' with kidz pulled from the audience playing bass, drums, guitar. The song concluded with Billie Joe urging the young girl / bassist to stage dive, which she did after a nice running start. Basically watching the show from the lighting board and not breaking a sweat the entire night (Cheers to The Wag Man). A bitchin' (for lack of a better term) cover of 'We Are The Champions' complete with gonzo confetti cannons filling the Civic with red and white paper. Thousands of kidz singing along loudly to every song, even the new ones. The little 8-year old boy standing next to us with the green mohawk.

Best Quote - Me: "A punk band with pyro onstage?" Tour Manager Doug: "We like to blow things up."

Parking Lot Fee = $5. Some homeless guy tried to scam us in the parking lot before the show, but I would have none of it. On the way back to the car some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Thanks to old Umlaut friend Doug for the +1 into his All Access Pass World. Keep it real out there, for The Kidz.

The Kidz ARE Alright... At least the ones into Green Day. Hope I die before I get old.

Metallica - HP Pavilion, San Jose, CA - Nov. 28, 2004



Twas the final show of the Madly In Anger With The World 2003-2004 World Tour. Did you know that Metallica has sold 90 MILLION albums worldwide. That's basically equal to the population of Germany. Achtung Bundesliga.

In 1982, old Umlaut friend K.J. told me to check out Metallica's demo tape so I did. The first time I saw them was at a club in North Beach. That club is now a "high end" strip joint. For better or worse, I've seen Metallica more than any other band... This gig was approximately the 40th time I'd seen them dating back to the year of the Falklands War. When it comes to this band I'm like Smeagol / Gollum. As much as I fight it, sometimes I still clutch The Metallica Ring. "I am no man..." Filthy little Rock Star Hobbits.

Best Moments: Hunting for the VIP Room so we could use our drink tickets ("Hello Cleveland.."). The Biker wearing the “Nazi SS - Support Your Local White Boy” t-shirt in the VIP Room and the looks he got from the other racially mixed “VIPs” (Hmmm, which band member would have put him on the guest list.. Hmmm..). Basically watching the show from the soundboard and chatting with Old Metal friend John Marshall (An original Metallica roadie (now retired) and fill-in tour guitarist in 1986 and 1992 when James' arm was broken and burned). Noticing all of the crew people around the soundboard calmly reaching for ear protection simultaneously just prior to the SHITLOADS of pyro that introduced 'One' (THE best arena pyro display IMO) and then calmly removing the ear protection simultaneously after the final explosion.. Seeing Lars slither past with his actress girlfriend in tow (Seen Gladiator?). I'm happy to report no civilians or other unauthorized personnel interfered with their passage. Introducing Skychick to Kirk and chatting with him for, like, 10 seconds but having him tell me that he tried to get the band to play ‘Mercyful Fate’ as part of the night’s set but the rest of the band weren't into it. Posers.

There were a good number of empty seats way up in the nosebleed sections, so the 18,000 seat arena wasn't sold out. However, the sold out general admission floor tickets went for up to $124 each ($75 face value) on Ebay. Corporate Rock Rules. After all these years, seeing Metallica for me is like attending a performance of Cirque du Soleil. It's not about the content, but the spectacle. I must admit that I spent a good portion of their set trying to figure out the function of the PDA / Pocket PC plugged into the soundboard. I also found myself watching the guy working the high tech gear monitoring the mini-cameras positioned around the stage. (GEEK!)

Parking Lot Fee = $15 (Mofos!). On the way back to the car some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. For the Old School Bay Area concert goers: THE CAVEMAN was at the show (Note: The Caveman was seemingly at EVERY major Bay Area concert in the 70’s and 80’s.. The Caveman has bushy hair, beard, and always wore FUR shorty shorts and FUR boots and “danced” wildly during shows.. and in 2004 he hadn’t changed..)! The more things change, the more they stay the same. Thanks to old Umlaut acquaintance The Lead Guitarist for the +1 into his All Access Pass World. Keep having those champagne wishes and caviar dreams, for The Kidz.


If you had been on The Drummer's guest list you would have seen this sign outside of his personal VIP room (The sign was "acquired" by Umlaut on the way back to the car...).

Footnote for The Old School: Today is the 22nd Anniversary of Metallica's legendary Old Waldorf, S.F. "Metal Up Your Ass" show. Oh, The Rock Godz do like their irony, don't they? Time sure does fly when you're growing up.

Epilogue: Umlaut was struck by the contrast between the two gigs... The differences in energy, band performances, crowd vibe, etc. etc. were quite profound to me. To keep it short I will use the age-old music snob cliché of analogy: If each band were a drummer, Green Day would be Keith Moon (circa 1965-71) and Metallica would be John Bonham (circa 1979-Drinking Binge).

Enter night, Exit light.

The End.