South Of Comic-Con

One thing led to another and Umlaut found himself in San Diego for a week working at the iconic global event known as San Diego Comic-Con.  From a nerd fan perspective it must seem like a magical celebration of science fiction, fantasy, horror, and entertainment (oh yeah... and comics).  However, if you're working Comic-Con it's mainly a shit show of long hours, hard work, and humanity on an insane scale in a confined space:

That was the human gridlock outside of our booth because of a Game Of Thrones thing that was literally 100 yards down the aisle.  Comic-Con in Umlaut's world is basically just like any other tradeshow (meetings with partners, customers, and industry friends) so it could be far worse.  At least it wasn't a plumbing tradeshow.  Anyway, the Rock Godz work in mysterious ways and, miraculously, two of my favorite bands had shows in San Diego while I was there... which went a very long way to keeping me sane outside of the work stuff.

SLAAAYEER
July 21, 2016
House Of Blues, San Diego, California

Slayer were participating in Comic-Con 2016 due to their comic collaboration with Dark Horse Comics with this show (I thought I heard $17 tickets were sold first to Comic-Con attendees) and a couple of autograph sessions at the convention.  Metal.. Pretty cool, right?

Upon arrival at the venue there was no Will Call drama, but I didn't have a pass.. Which wasn't that big of a deal since it was such a small venue.  However, one thing led to another and after a couple of text messages I found myself standing at stage right getting a bro hug from that old friend who I've known for over 30 years who now plays with Slayer at stage right.

"BEER"

I'll cut to the chase and say this was the best Slayer performance I've seen in recent years, certainly during the post-Hanneman era.  I would need to consult the Umlaut Archives, but I can't remember the last time I saw SLAAAYEER in such a small venue (1,000 capacity).  When I arrived the room was already packed, drunk, and the lack of ventilation made the floor slippery from the condensation and spilled beer.  Perfect.. and the setlist was a SOLID 18 songs.. All killer.  No filler. 

"TEA"

Also, the stripped down stage with no production outside of lighting jacked up the vintage atmosphere as well.  The songs and performance ruled on this night, with the band having a loose gunslinger quality onstage that fed profoundly off the drunk Thursday night crowd.  On top of that, Tom was downright chatty between songs.  Clearly, a happy Slayer is not a bad thing.. sometimes.

Adding to the old school vibe, a punter spit on Tom so he stopped the set to confront the asshole... which led to a guy down front getting beaten by dudes in the crowd and then dragged over the barrier to be tossed out.  Hopefully it was the right guy and not some innocent dude... SLAAAYEER!  The show was delayed another time because of the wave of drunken humanity coming over the barrier on the stage left side.   A SLAAAYEER show should not be any other way and it made my heart happy that it can still feel like a dangerous place.  The only Metal band that still matters?  On this night I would say YES.

Oh... and this is what happens when your old friend flicks his pick at you after his band played 'Angel Of Death':

Adorable, right?!

Seeing a show in a foreign city meant I had to "prove" my cred:  On my way out, some smart ass San Diego Metal guy noticed my Maiden - 'Number Of The Beast' tee and pointedly asked me "What's your favorite Maiden song!!?"  Without missing a beat I said "Prowler..." and kept walking and I heard him say to his buddies "I didn't expect that..."  Fuck you too, dude.

After the show I literally tried 3 times to get a Lyft and Uber ride to go meet up with my co-workers, but all of them failed.  I ended up going old school with a reliable cab and was informed Lyft and Uber drivers usually don't pick up from the House Of Blues after shows because they're afraid of trouble.  Noted.

A perfect night.

Then 24 hours later it was...

Boris / Earth
July 22, 2016
The Casbah, San Diego, California

According to the Umlaut Archives, I hadn't been inside The Casbah since 1994 when I was on a brief California tour with the Melvins and Acid King.  I realized I'm working for the right company when the common band between myself and 7 co-workers is Boris and we all geeked out that the band were playing while we were in San Diego.  The anticipation for the show made the pummeling work day at Comic-Con that much easier.

The Casbah felt like entering a time warp back to the early-90's, when venues like this ruled my world; it felt familiar.  Honesty is my only excuse and I have to admit I wasn't into Earth tonight... or at least my head wasn't into them.  I spent most of their set leaning against the FOH area waiting for the Japanese to come onstage. Sorry, Earth.. It wasn't you.. It was me.

Shortly before Boris started their set, a guy in a wheelchair made his way to the front and everyone let him through so he could be against the stage in front of Wata.  It was very cool and I ended up standing directly behind him with the the handlebars of his chair ending up on either side of me.. which ended up being both a blessing and a curse as the show progressed.

Tonight was the first show of U.S. Tour and for 90 minutes Boris leveled San Diego with their wall of volume and it was by far my favorite time seeing them.  On this tour the band is playing their seminal 2006 album 'Pink' in its entirety and the crowd's familiarity with the material gave the night an extra boost of energy. 

Phone pics by Joe and Brandon 

The crowd action got a little rough (I would say a 5 on a 10 scale) and it was a challenge a couple of times keeping the overzealous punters from crashing into my wheelchair-bound friend.  I ended up teaming up with the guy standing to my right and we did our best to run interference, which ended up being really cool in that unspoken concert brotherhood way.  We didn't say a word to each other all night, just helped out, and at the end of the set did the bro handshake and that was it.  It was an experience that inspired me to remember that seeing bands live is still my favorite thing... next to Giants baseball games of course.

However, seeing a show in a foreign city meant I had to "prove" my cred: I was wearing a Motörhead  - 'Iron Fist' tee and I know every other guy wearing a Motörhead tee thought I was a poser.  Fuck you too, dudes.

After working the combat zone that is Comic-Con, with another 2 1/2 days to go, Boris was the exact kind of head cleaning I needed.  Volume blasting the nerd slime from my brain.  A perfect night. Following the show my co-workers and I wandered around looking for late night food and found some shitty, over-priced pizza place that served its purpose.  We just had to ignore the nod time guy passed out in the booth next to us.  Lock 'N Loll.

Since I no longer work in merch, I didn't do a merch audit.  On the way back to the Bay Area, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag on the plane.  For the record, the "best" costume I saw at Comic-Con 2016 was an overweight Hispanic dude dressed as a Japanese anime girl.. complete with short skirt and ankle socks.  You can't unsee that level of wrong.

It Might Get Roud

Boris / Red Sparowes
Great American Music Hall, San Francisco
August 26, 2010

This bill almost made me do a spit take when it was announced; Boris with Red Sparowes?! It seemed like an odd combination to me, especially since Red Sparowes have headlined this venue on their own in the past. However, it made more sense once the bands hit the stage. Prior to the show Johnny and I met up with Joey Acid King, Rafa Black Cobra, and Ref for a pre-show drink at The Homestead. Then we few, we happy few, bounced over to the venue.

A couple of years ago, I was really into the Red Sparowes and I'd seen them a couple of times when they supported Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds in S.F.. For the newbies: Red Sparowes play instrumentals accompanied by artful video montages projected on a large onstage screen that's set up above and behind them. We were still outside waiting in the Will Call line at 9:45pm as the band started their set. After grabbing a beer I settled into watching their performance and, while it was good, I had to admit that I'm not in the same head space that I was a couple of years ago when I was ga-ga about them. Because of the way they perform, Red Sparowes are a band that engages an audience in a passive aggressive way.... and I wanted a band to engage me and not a multi-media presentation. However, I will say that the Red Sparows / Boris bill made more sense in person than it initially did on paper; they both create sonic paths that can be profound at times. However, with Red Sparowes, I didn't feel like being "shown" their path via video... I wanted to interpret my own path tonight.

People in Umlaut's circle seem to either love or hate Boris. There are those who simply label them as Melvins clones (Well, they did take their name from a Melvins song...) and there are those like me who revel in their eclectic brand of volume. Me love Boris long time.

The Japanese construct a wall of cerebral volume that sometimes comes out of nowhere. At times their set was so quiet you could hear a pin drop... and then from out of the smoke and darkness a riptide of volume knocked my brain sideways. Onstage the core trio of Takeshi (vox + double neck bass / guitar), Wata (Les Paul + vox), and Atsuo (drums + vox) are bolstered by touring guitarist Michio, who also plays in the band Ghost.

Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse

The last time I saw Boris was 4 years ago because I've missed them the past 2 times they've come through town. Watching and listening to them this time was like following a runaway volume dog and trying to grab its leash. Their set started off under a veil of smoke and lights and for the entire set I felt like I was running to catch that volume dog as it sprinted ahead of me... The beast barked LOUDLY and then careened back towards me to lay down just out of my reach as the set went into some ambient Drone parts... and then that volume dog exploded into a scream of feedback and bolted further down that path of noise with me still chasing it.

Guitar tone is something that's sacred to Umlaut and Wata is the Far Eastern Guitar Goddess of Tone. When she hits her wah-wah and fuzz and goes off part of me wants to point at the sky and say "Aiii!! Godzirra!!!" but Wata's TONE crushes me under its heavy foot of volume. I hate to state the obvious, but how someone so small can create such a huge signature TONE is another one of those bizarre things from the Oriental World, like using chopsticks and eating dogs... (Note: Before any readers go all PC on my ass you should know that Umlaut is Yellow... and for the record I'd eat a human but I would NEVER eat a dog.. Seriously..).

Boris took over the stage at exactly 11:00pm and ruled it as their kingdom for a solid 90 minutes with songs like 'Electric'... '1970'... 'Statement'. Something seemed a little odd at the end of the set... and according to Sensory Abuse (who was standing closer to the stage than Umlaut) Boris' amps blew out the stage power during the last song. Their tape loop was still playing but the lights on the bands' amps went out and the stagehands freaked out. It was at that point when Atsuo climbed over his drums and dove into the crowd... Wata waved... Takeshi said "Thank you!"... and the volume dog from The East finally ran so far ahead of me there was no way I was going to catch it. Sayonara!

Atsuo's Dive
Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse

I didn't do a merch audit but Boris had 25 or 26 (!) different CD titles for sale; their discography is insane. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. I didn't roll back into Casa de Umlaut until around 1:00am... and I wanted some sushi but had to settle for a bowl of cereal.

This Week In Music Geek

My new favorite band promo pic..

Boris

Man, it's been awhile since my Asian sister and bruthas last appeared in this space.

The 15,695th Day

October 18th: I woke up to my 15,695th day on Earth. To commemorate this blessed event, I did a Ferris Bueller from work and appropriately it was a gloriously sunny and warm day.

Me on my 1,825th day on Earth

Over morning coffee I put the The Children Of Nuggets and New Wave Of British Heavy Metal - '79 Revisited on the stereo and hit "shuffle play". As I ingested caffeine into my system, I also checked my mailbox on the Information Superhighway and was greeted by this image from Old Metal Tom in Chicago:


I laughed out loud (Thanks, my brutha!).. Thanks also to Skychick, Jayne, Miatomic, Timo, Lori, Dave, Ted, Micki, Simone, Kirsten, Stuart, Hannah, Ada, Elsie, and Neko the Cat for taking the time to send me b'day wishes. It's nice to have friends... Awww.

In keeping with the Ferris Bueller theme, I left the house and randomly jumped on BART towards downtown and ended up at The Irish Bank. There I watched the Chelsea vs. Barcelona Champions League match over fish 'n chips and a pint. There were 9 or 10 other patrons in the place and they were all there to watch the futbol over lunch too. For those who care Chelsea won 1-0 despite Barcelona having Ronaldinho.

Then, as Night took over from Day, so did Rock take over from Futbol...

Boris / Acid King / Doomriders
Slim's, San Francisco
October 18, 2006

I'm almost positive the only other time I've seen a band on my birthday was 8,760 days ago when Metallica played The Old Waldorf in S.F.. They dedicated 'Metal Militia' to me (yes, there's a bootleg).

Boris are, like, one of my favorite bands and I screamed like a little school girl when this show was announced. I imagine it's the same feeling little girls get when a pony headlines their birthday party. When Acid King was added to the bill it was icing on the cake (that will be the only cake analogy used in this piece... promise). This birthday went to 11.

I have to admit that it's been awhile since I've had a birthday party, but this felt like one sans baked goods. Thanks to Lori, Joey, Dave, Timo, Johnny, Any, Mike, and Ref for not singing 'Happy Birthday'. It's nice to have friends... Awww.

Not to be sexist, but tonight's bill was a mind blowing Battle of the Guitar Goddesses with Lori of Acid King (Les Paul / Marshall) and Wata of Boris (Les Paul / Orange) bringing the distortion. As Nigel Tufnel once asked "What's wrong with being sexy?" If anything, distortion sells because advance tickets were sold out and Slim's was packed on this school night.

I've been listening to Acid King for 4,745 days and I don't say the following lightly: This was probably their finest hometown show and definitely the most focused and rock steady set I've ever seen them play. All killer, no filler that was augmented by a special hippie shit cool psychedelic light show. Don't take the brown acid! It made me so proud... Awww.

I've been listening to Boris alot over the past 292 days and I don't say the following lightly: Boris are the type of band that can change your life... or at least inspire you to get a tattoo. Seeing them onstage causes me to have serious 'Nam-like flashbacks to my early-90's salad days with the Melvins, when I was beyond fanatical about them and every show was an epiphany and every note they played fucked with my head (in a good way). I haven't followed the Melvins in years, but I'm thankful to have Boris in the 21st Century. The healing power of volume and distortion.

The Rock Godz have indeed been generous over the past 292 days with DMBQ, Jeff Beck, BlöödHag, Slayer, Mastodon, Radio Birdman, Celtic Frost, and now Boris making me thankful for who I am... I'm thankful that I'm not the typical person my age whose entire music collection wouldn't fill a 2GB iPod Nano and whose iTunes contains detritus like Boston's Greatest Hits as a reminder of younger days long gone. Hope I die before I get old... it's more than a feeling.

Birthday Beers = 3. Iron Maiden shirts = 1 (mine). If you bought one of every Acid King merch item you would have paid $60. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Only 12 days 'til Halloween!

Boris - Live in Philadelphia - 2005

===
And On The 15,697th Day I Got Boris Busted:

Some of you know what I do for a living.. Anyway I wore my new Boris - 2006 Tour shirt to work today.. The logo is a "homage" to the band Yes:


As I arrived in the office, I stopped to talk to a co-worker and she noticed my shirt and asked "Is that a Yes shirt??".. and then a lightbulb went off in my head and I said "Oh yeah.. aren't they on our roster?" OOOPS!!

We then spent the next couple of minutes joking about busting Boris for copyright infringement... but I educated her on who Boris are, etc.. so no lawyers will be unleashed in the East.

The End.

Click HERE for some great shots of Acid King melting the stage at Slim's. THANKS RAY!

This Week In Music Geek

Umlaut has been listening to Boris alot recently. Besides their Psychedelic Stoner heaviness, how can you not appreciate the band's Music Geek ways:

Boris - Akuma No Uta (Southern Lord Records - 2003)


Nick Drake - Bryter Layter (Island Records - 1970)

A homage, if you will. Damn... Umlaut wishes he could be in Tokyo next weekend for the Boris / Acid King show. I hope Acid King brings me back some Boris merch (Hint, Hint... XOXO...).

===
ADDENDUM:

While flipping channels waiting for 24 to come on, Umlaut stumbled onto VH1 Classic's Metal Mania showing the Scorpions 'Big City Nights' video (the live version from World Wide Live)... and any Indie Cool Kid Cred that the above might have generated was blown by my Scorpions Geek Out...

"Kome on Kaleeeforneeahh!! Zouu keep me bahhnnninnng!!"

"Special Seating": Cow Palace, S.F. - 4/30/84 (From the Umlaut Archives)

At the time, Big Wayne's sister worked for Winterland Productions (R.I.P.) and she set us up for the Scorps show.. Love At First Sting Tour... Pretty cool.

"Kaleeeforneeahh! Zhere's no von like zouuu!!"