Trial By Fire

Satan
Elbo Room, San Francisco
October 25, 2014

My friends, sometimes time travel does exist!  This show was a direct link back to 1983 San Francisco and the original Bay Area Metal Scene.  Although they've played on the East Coast before, this was Satan's first ever U.S. Tour.  The NWOBHM legends were one of the cornerstone bands for that original Bay Area Metal Scene via the tape trading and import records scene; we embraced the band as much as we did Mercyful Fate.  There were probably more bootleg Satan patches and shirts in The Bay Area than anywhere else outside of the band's hometown of Newcastle, England.

 

Bootleg Satan Patch - Aquatic Park, Berkeley - August 1984

[Photo by Harald O. from Murder In The Front Row]

Tonight was a moment I had been waiting for since 1983 and never thought would happen.  I was penpals with singer Brian Ross back in The Day and even talked to him on the phone although I couldn't really understand his Geordie accent at the time (HA!).  However, it was also bittersweet as there were many ghosts in the room.. including my old friend Sam Kress (R.I.P.). Sam introduced me to Satan.. and it still amazes me that Sam and I and our 'zine Whiplash were thanked on the Court In The Act album. 

Prior to the show I watched Game 4 of the World Series (GIANTS!!) from the comfort of Casa de Umlaut and then headed into The Mission with Photo Ray for the gig.  I was expecting the hipster infused Mission to be an overflow of vomiting post game revelers, but it was not!  Parking was found a mere 2 blocks away and, as I would soon realize, The Metal Godz had much planned for us tonight.

It still surprises me that some bands, even those who have been around a long time, might not comprehend the impact they've had on people.  The first member of Satan who I saw was guitarist Russ Tippins as he was getting out of their van.  When I approached him and asked "Are you Russ?" he answered almost warily with "Yes....." like I was a stalker.   HAHA!   It was all good... and then this happened:

[All photos courtesy of Photo Ray]

Words cannot completely articulate how profound this moment was for me... Full. Fucking. Circle!! Satan.. Whiplash.. I was speechless.. It was a moment that had been in the making since 1983... and I wish that my old buddy and co-editor Sam Kress could have been there with us on that bench on Valencia Street in San Franfuckincisco in 2014.  Amazing.  Except Russ Tippins was MIA for the photo... Oh well.

This show transcended merely being an oldies concert by an old band.  It felt like a high school reunion since SO MANY people who I first met as a teenage Metalhead were there.  SO MANY.  It was pretty emotional to be honest.  It was a moment that brought us all back to when we were pimply-faced Metalheads: The original lineup of Satan onstage in San Francisco!  Hope I die before I get old...  Due to the magnitude of the night I found myself down at the sweaty front as the band launched into 'Trial By Fire' then into 'Blades Of Steel'... and the time space continuum was shattered for the next 75 minutes or so and I was 18 years old again.

Obviously, nostalgia can cause you to look at an event like this through rose-colored glasses and rationalize any shortcomings a band might display.  Let's be honest:  Satan are a band who emerged over 30 years ago and, while it was great that it was all original members, we all know how this scenario usually plays out.  The older version of the band we loved as kidz isn't the same band from our salad days.  People get older and the youthful spirit that fueled them 30 years ago has naturally evaporated over the years.  However...

SATAN WERE NOT THAT BAND!

I was completely floored by how fantastic they were!!  They were NWOBHM legend tight and, dog bless him, Brian Ross and his voice sounded timeless and powerful.  During the set I was surrounded by old friends and at several times during the set we looked at each other and said "Holy shit!" at each other.  It was pretty special to feel 18 years old again in the company of people who I actually knew when I was 18.. back when I had a baby's brain and an old man's heart.

Graeme English (bass) and Sean Taylor (drums) anchoring the band and the twin guitar greatness of Steve Ramsey and Russ Tippins put me right back in my teenage Metalhead bedroom again.  It was an epiphany to discover that Russ Tippins is the unsung Guitar God of my generation!   We never knew who played the guitar solos on specific songs and his live solos transcended any studio recordings.  It was a revelation, man... and it just added to the entire magical nature of Satan finally laying waste to San Francisco after all these years. 

I did not want the set to end.  The instrumental 'Dark Side Of Innocence' was the perfect aural bridge in my head back to the early-80's when life really was more innocent.  I felt like I had drank from the Fountain of Youth and could rage all night with one of my life-defining Metal bands again... but alas.. all things come to an end.  Appropriately the set closed with my fave Satan song 'Alone In The Dock'.. and as the sweaty heat from this blazing fun set hung in the air the night's quintessential moment came when Brian Ross dedicated the set to our departed brother Sam Kress (R.I.P.) before they left the stage.

WOW.

After the final notes rang out I made my way to the band's dressing room.. and each of the band guys greeted me with a spontaneous bro hug.. and 30 years melted away just like that.  Then when I walked outside I encountered most of the old friends I mentioned before and we all gave each other hugs.  This was as close to a high school reunion as I've ever attended and it was amazing that a Metal show could remind me of that long ago youthful bond again.  I hope the current generation of Metal kidz can have this kind of life affirming Metal moment years from now.  Then maybe some of the newer Metal bands who I dislike so much now will have served a purpose after all. 

As I said at the start of this, time travel does exist. Finally meeting these lads from Newcastle after 30+ years made up for the pain I got from my parents when they got the phone bill in 1983 after I called Brian Ross in Newcastle, England long distance to chat about Metal.  Amazing.

Special THANKS for my Asian Brutha from a different mutha Henry who was part of the Satan crew.

If you bought one of every Satan merch item you would have paid $95.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. When I got home I realized that both of my upper arms were covered in bruises from the crowd action.  I still got it.

Click HERE to see more of Photo Ray's shots from this magical night!

Numbers

Umlaut isn't a numbers person... but I understand that numbers don't lie. Here are some recent stats for visitors to this site:


Does "DSL" stand for "Devil Satan Lucifer"? Me thinks so..

To quote Mercyful Fate: "Something you can't relate... six hundred and sixty-six."

The Power Of Lew Siffer

I've had this copy of the Christian comic book Angels? for years. It was originally published in 1986 and tells the sordid tale of a struggling "Christian Heavy Metal" band called Green Angels. Just when their career is going into the tank, the band is approached by a dark and mysterious stranger name "Lew Siffer" who offers to guide their career... for a price....

Long story short: 3 months later one of the band members has died of AIDS, another has OD'd, and another member is into "vampirism" (!!). Luckily, the guitarist finds Jesus, renounces Lew Siffer, and is "saved". Evidently Jesus has the legal power to void any contract, even those signed in blood. Who knew?!

Beware Lew!! If only I'd been taught this lesson earlier in life but, alas, it is too late for me.. To quote from comic: "Most young people won't fight for their countries, but they'll die for their rock and roll gods."

Amen.

Merry Easter

Some years ago Umlaut's friend "Laurry" hired a woman to clean her Rock 'N Roll House. Unfortunately, the woman had some issues with Laurry's decor and album collection.


"Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail.. Satan laughing spreads his wings... Oh Lord, yeah."

Holy Diver

..... and now for something completely different.



Christ Rocks [click for link]

"Here are three things I recommend to have a victorious Christian Life:

1. Pray to God everyday. Talk with Him

2. Read the Bible, a little each day, and do what it says.

3. Go to a radical onfire bible believing Church. Not one that is stuffy and boring, but one where Jesus is alive in the people you see going there. One where they carry their bibles, and talk about their faith in public. One where people live what they preach."

"I had all the albums that a guy could want. I was really into Ozzy and Van Halen. I didn't go a day without Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. Ronnie James Dio was one of my faves. I loved the power that heavy metal music gave off. The louder the better. I lined my bedroom with album covers. You name it I had it. And I listened at high VOLUMES!!!"

"Iron Maiden let me down, Ronnie James didn't satisfy my soul like he used to."

Umlaut says: There but for the grace of Dog go I... but Maiden didn't let you down, dude. YOU let MAIDEN down!

So say we all.

"Between the velvet lies, there's a truth that's hard as steel..." - Dio

Sorry... Wrong Number

Satan is a numbers guy.

Umlaut recently sent Tour Manager Doug a package and the tracking number contained "666"... Which caused both of us to exclaim "Oh, there's that Satan again!"

Umlaut friend Lori Acid King was recently summoned for jury duty and her group number was... "666". Which caused both of us to chuckle and say "You got us again, Satan!"

These wink-wink-nudge-nudges from El Diablo reinforces Umlaut's dismissal of the following outrageous, shameful, and completely irresponsible article. Umlaut believes the piece is part of a Scientologist / Christian conspiracy against Iron Maiden.

TESTING THE FAITH
666 wrong number of prophetic beast?
Newly examined Scripture fragment lends credence to argument it's 616
Posted: May 8, 2005

© 2005 WorldNetDaily.com

For centuries, people have been intrigued by the number 666, the "number of the beast" from the Book of Revelation in the New Testament.

Not only is it mentioned in the Bible, it has been associated with the Satanism, universal price codes and the game of roulette, as the numbers on the wheel add up to 666.

Now, the legendary number is getting a fresh look, as researchers are re-examining evidence the number may actually be 616.

In the King James Version of the Bible, the well-known verse of Revelation 13:18 reads:

"Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six."

While many Bible have footnotes saying the number translated from the original Greek could be 616, experts say new photographic evidence of an ancient fragment of papyrus from Revelation indeed indicates the number is indeed 616, instead of 666.

Scholars in England have been using modern technology to scour some 400,000 bits of papyri which were originally discovered in 1895 at a dump outside the ancient Egyptian city of Oxyrhynchus. Many of the sections have been damaged and discolored, but an imaging process is shedding new light on the sacred text, believed to have originally been penned by John, one of Jesus' 12 apostles.

"This is a very nice piece to find," Ellen Aitken, a professor of early Christian history at McGill University, told Canada's National Post. "Scholars have argued for a long time over this, and it now seems that 616 was the original number of the beast."

The papyrus in the spotlight is believed to be from about 300 A.D.

"This is very early confirmation of that number, earlier than any other text we've found of that passage," Aitken said. "It's probably about 100 years before any other version."

You Gotta Have Faith

In these dark times, any reassurance that your faith is righteous is welcome. So it was for Umlaut at the local taqueria a couple of days ago:



Praise be.

El Diablo es mi amigo.

Nov. 16, 2004: 8:00pm... I'm just about to sit down on the couch with a glass of red wine to chill after another productive day at work. 8:00pm... and someone starts pounding on the front door and ringing the doorbell. What the FUCK?! The dogs are barking. The door is being pounded on.. This had better be good.

I switch on the porch light and open the peep hole door. Within 2 seconds I notice 4 things: (1) Two young white boys, (2) crewcuts, (3) dark conservative jackets and ties with white shirts, (4) name badges on lapels.

CHRISTIANS.

The next 3 seconds went like this: God's White Knights were able to blurt out "Sir.." but I cut them off with "NOT INTERESTED" and slam the peep hole door shut and turn off the porch light.. I hear one of God's White Knights say "Do you know anyone..." before I banish them from my evening. The dogs continue to bark at the front window until The Missionaries are out of range.

What the FUCK is it with Christians?!! How arrogant. Coming to someone's house unsolicited with their self-righteous "I must save you" / "Bearing witness for The Lord" bullshit. Fuck YOU. As much as I would like to I would never be so insolent as to go to one of their houses and ask if they'd be willing to accept Satan as their own personal savior. "C'mon!", I would say, "Satan's music is WAY better! GUITAHH!!" However, I have MUCH better things to do than worry about how someone else is living their life.

After this brief encounter I was again reassured that MY path is indeed righteous.. In hindsight I probably should have debated God's White Knights, but they were intruding on MY life so why should I stoop to their level and play their game?

W.W.J.D.?

Get off my property.

Nov. 17, 2004: The God Squad seems to be targeting my neighborhood this week. Operation Annoy Thy Neighbor. Perhaps taking a cue from the military operations in Iraq, they are going house-to-house during the night AND day attempting to root out Godless insurgents. Another God Squad assault team came to the door this morning, but they were quickly repelled. However, not before one of them started her sales pitch with the line "Conditions on The Earth..." (*slam*)

Of course, putting up a "No Solicitation" sign could be a solution... But that would be acknowledging the God Squad and I also dislike how cheesy those signs look on a front door. Plus, legally this is evidently an already much debated subject.

Umlaut's crack research staff found this online:

"Although Jehovah's Witnesses do not consider themselves to be "solicitors" because they make no charge for their literature or their teaching, leaders of the church testified at trial that they would honor "No Solicitation" signs in the Village. They also explained at trial that they did not apply for a permit because they derive their authority to preach from Scripture. "For us to seek a permit from a municipality to preach we feel would almost be an insult to God....."

However, then there was this:

"Seventh Day Adventists missionaries proselytizing door-to-door are not solicitors under the definition of the peddling and soliciting law and are not required to be licensed."

A call to City Hall elicited a response that pissed me off even more. When asked about any local city ordinance pertaining to door-to-door solicitors, the woman at City Hall said that she "didn't know".. She was also obviously not sympathetic and chimed in that The Missionaries had "A right to express their beliefs..."

WHAT THE FUCK?!

This was a representative of the local government saying this! Yes, of course, they have a right to express their beliefs.. But NOT on MY property without MY permission! God's Tool comes in all shapes and sizes.

I'm thinking that instead of a No Solicitation sign I'd be happier with a 12 gauge loaded with rock salt as a God Repellent. Seven Hail Marys and a hail of rock salt up your ass.

Amen.

Nov. 18, 2004: From Popbitch (Thanks to Mary K. for the heads up):

>> Shopping with Black Sabbath <<

Tony Iommi goes silver bible-bashing.

Tony Iommi from Black Sabbath was in a shop in Birmingham's jewellery quarter. After buying Ozzy a crucifix for Christmas he asked for advice on a present for a new baby. Iommi's wife suggested, "What about one of these silver fronted bibles?" "I can't buy that", replied Tony, "I'm in fucking Black Sabbath."

Satan laughing spreads his wings, oh Lord yeah...