Inkblot Test

Rorschach / Brainoil / No Statik / Needles
924 Gilman, Berkeley, California
September 16, 2011

I left for the show straight from work and, as I drove down San Pablo Avenue towards Gilman, 'A Lesson In Violence' by Exodus blasted from the iPod on shuffle. For the past year my head has been completely immersed in the book project that I'm involved with and it's been hard for me to disengage from memories of the Old Metal Days. Suddenly it was Berkeley circa-1985 in my car and Baloff was my co-pilot for a moment. I met up with Sensory Abuse and Photo Ray across the street from Gilman at the NOT Punk Pyramid Ale for food, libations, and conversation before we walked over to the holy place of Bay Area Punk.

Once again, I forgot to bring my Gilman membership card and had to pay the extra $2 to get another one (For the newbies: A $2 Gilman membership card is required for admission into shows along with a ticket with the $2 going towards the club's upkeep.. at least that's always been the explanation..). Umlaut is not a Punk and I've never pretended to be one... and as a consenting adult I would rather pay $5 for a beer at a venue than $2 for a membership card... but I understand what Gilman is about. Having Pyramid Alehouse across the street is so awesome because here in the 21st Century you don't have to go down to that corner liquor store on San Pablo Avenue and drink in a car before or during a Gilman show... which would be pathetic for someone my age.

Apologies to Needles, but I'm not Punk. Apologies to No Statik, but for your set we returned across the street to Pyramid for another round of pints. We noticed members of Brainoil hanging out too.... and it's always nice when the band(s) you're there to see are hanging out in the same bar so you know when they're going on because they leave.

Here in the 21st Century it's funny to see Metal bands playing at Gilman. Remember when Neurosis were "Punk" and now they're considered "Metal"? One day they could play Gilman, then they couldn't. Brainoil are a dirty, sludgy Metal band but they belong at Gilman because their music bleeds the East Bay / Oakland as much, or more, than most local Punk bands. Just saying.

Brainoil
(Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

The band's performance started kind of *off* to me... but by the last part of their set they were in full Brainoil roar and the Gilman kids had some decent crowd action going for them. I wasn't blown away by the band's set as I had been last month when they supported Eyehategod but they're still the top of my bill of Bay Area Metal bands. However, even at Gilman, there's a guy in a Pantera shirt being the dick of The Pit. Why is that?

I admit I didn't know a lot about Rorschach other than they are "influential". They stormed the underground Metal and Hardcore scenes in the early-90's at a time when I was more interested in Nick Cave than I was about new bands from those genres... so I missed a lot. A Metal friend who I respect told me that Rorschach are the band that got him interested in Hardcore back then.. To my ears Rorschach should bitch slap bands like Converge and Dillinger Escape Plan for copping their sound... but maybe they don't care. Tonight in Berkeley was one of four shows on Rorschach's brief visit to the West Coast this month. The men from New Jersey (which featured guitarist Keith wearing a shirt of Umlaut's kindred spirit band Landmine Marathon) set up on the Gilman stage and kicked things off with the songs 'Mandible' into 'In Ruins' and all Hell was unleashed.

Rorschach
(Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

Best quote: "Hi! We're from 1993..." - Charles of Rorschach.

The band's crossover Metal Hardcore fury was perfect to witness inside Gilman... but the crowd action for the first part of the set was distracted by a couple of assholes in The Pit. One of them was around 6'5" tall who threatened to punch people around him at every turn, including a girl or two. What. A. Dick. Things finally erupted into a near brawl and Rorschach stopped their set, the houselights were turned on, and the pair of assholes were shown the exit.

No fighting!

Once that silly behavior was stopped, Rorschach started the fury back up again. They finished off their 17-18 song set without a body count but with plenty of worthy crowd action. The night ended with a blazing cover of Black Flag's 'My War' with the band's roadie sharing vocals. Nice.

I didn't do a merch audit.. but I find it adorable that you can buy shit like candy and an organic bean burrito for $1.75 at Gilman. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced kids called me a fag. If I took the Rorschach Test at this moment I'd think that pattern looks like an organic bean burrito riding a bat.

Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from the night!

No Adults Allowed

Saviours / Iron Lung / Walls
924 Gilman, Berkeley, California
May 22, 2010

Prior to the show, Whenwedie and Umlaut committed the Gilman Punk sin of eating quality food and drinking quality beer across the street at the evil Pyramid Brewery. Sorry kidz, but Pyramid makes going to Gilman WAY better than back in The Day... and now your parents have a place to wait for you while you're at the Punk Rock show so they can drive you home. An added bonus tonight was running into an old Lock 'N Loll Merch colleague at Pyramid who I hadn't seen in a couple of years (Hey Taralynn!).

I had not stepped inside of Gilman in YEARS; it's so clean and well-lit now. For the record, Gilman was never Umlaut's scene and I've only been there a few times... but it was cool visiting a local venue that was outside of my regular places. Evidently Jello had been there the night before; I wonder if any cheeky pimply-faced Punk called him a fag? It's cute how the Punk Kidz have a "straight edge" concession stand set up inside:

DRINKS:
Bottled Water & Soda – .75 cents
Snapple, Juice Squeeze, Hansons, Apple Juice, Kerns, Orange Juice – $1.00
Monster, Rockstar, Diet Rockstar – $2.00

FOOD:
Organic Bean Burrito – $1.75
Red Vines, Tootsie Pops, “Cheap Gum” – .25 cents
Candy Bars, Danish, Chips, Nuts, Gum, Pop Tarts – .75 cents
Cliff Bars, Trio Bars, Luna Bars, Balance Bars – $1.00

Cute, right? No adults allowed! However, the menu raises a couple of issues:

• I know Gilman is a straight edge venue... BUT caffeine is the world's most popular drug...
• I know only politically correct indie label bands can play Gilman ...BUT Rockstar energy drink is owned by the son of ultraconservative and homophobic radio host Michael Savage. Click HERE for more on this..
  

I'm... just... saying. Discuss amongst yourselves... and with these items in mind, could one of you kidz get Umlaut a beer?

Walls (the band... not the room..) seemed to take forever to set up and I couldn't help but stereotype them as older Punk guys with angst on their shoulders. I don't know, man... Umlaut has never been a Punk or pretended to be a Punk. Walls (the band... not the room..) were alright in that skitchy Punk angst sort of way... I guess. Anyway, the Punk Kidz seemed to like them... and that's all that matters... and I did notice that the band members were wearing matching Adidas Sambas. Is that Punk Rock?

In between bands we chatted with Old Metal Scaparro... and he and I did our usual "Kidz These Days Don't Know" / "Back In My Day" sidewalk rant as the Punk Rock youngsters pretended to ignore us. Trivia: Scaparro was with Umlaut the only time I've been handcuffed by cops. True story.

Iron Lung definitely had the Punk Kidz excited and there was some decent crowd action during their set. However, the band were the perfect example of how clueless Umlaut is about much of the Gilman Scene. Iron Lung are a guitar / drums-only band and I was annoyed by how much they sounded like Black Cobra; watching them was like being in an alternate universe. It was an alternate universe where Black Cobra didn't have a legitimate guitar tone and the drums sounded tinny... and the songs weren't as good... and the drummer tried to be a smartass Punk between every song. It was only afterwards that I was informed that Iron Lung predates Black Cobra by a couple of years. Hmmm.... Interesting.. but I have to say I prefer *my* universe where Black Cobra is the band.

Pic courtesy of Whenwedie

I wish Star Trek was still in production... because Umlaut's alternate universe episode would have a kick ass soundtrack... Make it so.

Compared to their Punk Rock bill mates, Saviours seemed like grown ups as they quickly set up their gear in a way that only a seasoned touring band can. They also brought a legitimate guitar tone and bottom end to Gilman. As The Longhairs took the stage I was curious to see what kind of reaction they would get. I have to say that seeing the Saviours in an all-ages, straight edge venue was less than ideal, especially since the last time I saw Saviours they had been an unstoppable alcohol-fueled funny car of Rock. I was amused watching the Punk Kidz trying to figure out if they should like Saviours or not. While the reaction was polite, no substantial crowd action developed.. but Umlaut's favorite Saviour's song 'Acid Hand' did kick in as the 2nd song of the night... and I have to believe that Scott's maniac drumming must have scared some of the Punk Kidz because his pounding was particularly off the chain tonight.

Pic courtesy of Whenwedie

I also have to believe that some of the Punk Kidz stepped outside after the Saviours' set because their brains hurt and they couldn't comprehend the dual-axe stylings of Austin and Sonny. Thin Lizzy is a dish best served cold. Unfortunately, this was Saviours' last hometown area show for awhile as they head off on another U.S. Tour... then a European Tour (with BLACK COBRA and Weedeater no less!)... then a slot on this year's OzzFest. Crazy, man. Yes, Umlaut bailed before Talk Is Poison played... but since I've never been Punk I don't have any Punk Cred to lose.

Motörhead shirts = 1. If you bought one of every Saviours merch item you would have paid around $60. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. All in all it was a routine Lock 'N Loll night and Umlaut rolled back into Casa de Umlaut just before midnight. La dee da..

Green Wayne

So, Umlaut taped Green Day's recent performance on Last Call with Carson Daly since he really digs their latest album. It's funny to be back into a band again that I haven't listened to in around 13 years.

Anyway, prior to the performance they showed a short documentary on the band and flashed an old picture of them onstage at Gilman St.. In that split second I thought to myself "HEY! That's WAYNE in the picture!!" A quick rewind and freeze frame confirmed it (Wayne is bottom left of the shot):



Big Wayne and Umlaut have known each other since the Paleolithic Era.. He once helped others throw me onstage at a shithole club in Berkeley during a band's set. When reached for comment, Big Wayne said:

"I think it was Blatz and Filth opening and 1992 but I can't verify it. It was easy to pinpoint since I only bothered to see them 3-5 times since it wasn't all that cool to like them since they were kind of poofy. Neurosis and Green Day played together as well. I remember Steve saying that he knew they would be huge but couldn't figure out why they were on the same bill."

And the rest, as they say, is history.

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ADDENDUM:

The above pic was taken by Old Umlaut friend Cammie.. Click HERE to see her fabulously Old School 1992 Maximumrocknroll photo essay / article on Russian Punks.

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ADDENDUM 2:

Umlaut has since been informed that the above pic was not taken by Old Umlaut friend Cammie. However, these Gilman shots from back in The Day were!

"You want to figure it out? Well, throw down your bulldog front..."