Don't Sweat It. Get It Back To You.

It's taken me awhile to realize that Lemmy's death affected me more than I realized.  This week will mark 6 months to the day that he left this mortal coil.. and it's still very weird that he and his band no longer roam the Earth.  Things seem boring now.  Trivia: The "Motörhead Delivers" design is from the final tour last year and was based on a sketch that Lemmy did himself.

I attended Lemmy's 70th birthday party in December.  I attended his funeral in January.  The emotional swing and magnitude of both events was obviously profound.  To be invited to both events celebrating someone who had been my hero since I was a teenager was mind blowing and I did not, and never will, take the honor for granted.  His funeral and the private reception afterwards was a sad, surreal, and amazing experience.  I honestly can't imagine ever visiting The Rainbow again.

Ironically, both Lemmy events coincided with the first "career" change I've experienced in almost a decade.  However, The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways, and as one door closed another one opened for me.  I'm now in a different (but also not that different) part of the "entertainment" industry.  Thankfully it is one that is more rational and stress free than my recent past professional life.  I'd like to think my Karma Bank deposits over the years finally paid off... and my colleagues now include such badass dudes as Yeti Wing Kong.

All of this being said, nothing has been inspiring me this year.  Yes, I've still been hitting gigs fairly regularly.. but I've also passed on a good number as well. For the record I've been at these shows so far in 2016:

January:

• Rancid / OFF! / The Interrupters - The Warfield
• Metal Allegiance - The Whiskey, Los Angeles, California
• Mastodon - The Chapel
• Venom Inc. - DNA Lounge

February:

• Metallica  - AT&T Park
• Black Sabbath / Rival Sons - SAP Center, San Jose, California
• The Mummies - Elbo Room (27th Anniversary Show)
• Megadeth / Suicidal Tendencies / Children Of Bodom - The Warfield

March:

• Neurosis / Sleep / Vhol - The Regency
• Melvins / Dusted Angel - The Ritz, San Jose, California (Pre-tour warm up show)
• Slayer / Testament / Carcass - The Warfield (2 nights)
• Satan / Night Demon / Hellfire - Elbo Room
• Abbath / High On Fire / Skeletonwitch / Tribulation - The Regency (Decibel Tour)
• Iggy Pop - The Masonic

April:

• Metallica - Rasputin's Records, Berkeley, California (Record Store Day) 
• Saviours / Ides Of Gemini / War Cloud - The Chapel

May:

• Napalm Death / Melvins / Melt Banana - Slim's
• The Cure - Shoreline Amphitheatre, Mountain View, California

June:

• Armored Saint / Metal  Church - DNA Lounge

I haven't been a recluse, but I also haven't been motivated to write about much.  I had the epiphany that posting on my personal social media has marginalized the "creativity" I used to channel into this space.  Cutting back on that white noise posting chatter needs to happen I guess.  There were definitely events that I should have captured here.. THE major one was Record Store Day 2016 that featured Metallica performing live at Rasputin's in Berkeley and immediately afterward hosting a private party for invited guests at 3132 Carlson Blvd.. aka The Metallica Mansion.

The party was to thank those old friends and associates who helped the band with the massive reissues of Kill 'Em All and Ride The Lightning.  At some point I intend to document my involvement in this project, which began with me sitting at a kitchen table with Jaymz and Larz over a year earlier and them revealing their reissue plans and basically hiring me to be a consultant on them.  Full circle.  Anyway, until I do that they say a picture is worth 1,000 words... so here's 4,000 words to hold you over about this.

Top photo by the teenage me:  December 28, 1982.  Bottom photo by the adult me:  April 16, 2016:

 
Two Motörhead fans recreating that photo from Summer 1983 taken in that exact same spot:

If you really need to know what happened on that magical day and night right now, click HERE for what the band posted about it. I'll get around to documenting the profoundly full circle experience of being involved with the reissues.. even though it's already old news.

 

Truth be told, baseball is the only thing I really give a shit about at the moment... and I'm annually obsessed with the San Francisco Giants at this time of the year anyway but I'm more ratcheted up this season because it's also the 30th Anniversary of the amazing 1986 team.  That 1986 team is my favorite Giants team ever.

Anyway, that's basically where my head has been this year so far.  I needed a reset... and I'm not sure I've gotten one yet.  On the way back to the blog, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag.  This space has been running since 2004... 12 (twelve!) fucking years of ranting about shit.  There are some major things in the works.. some happening soon.. others happening further down the road.  All are pretty fucking cool.

Eventually I'll remember how to put words together in an interesting way again.  Hopefully sooner than later.  To quote Motörhead:  "Don't sweat it.  Get it back to you."

Enter Sandman

On this date in 1992 at the Cow Palace in San Francisco.. The Black Album Tour at home.. The night the xeroxed Umlaut 'zine met the Cowardly Lion:

Also, after the first show KRK told me how he was in the middle of a solo onstage and realized he had forgotten to put an old friend of our's on the guest list.  I still trip on the fact that he was in front of 14,000 people when he had that thought.  

"Something's wrong shut the light..  Heavy thoughts tonight... and they aren't of Snow White.."

It Was 20 Years Ago...

Earlier today the Melvins posted a vintage video clip from 1993 of a moment that Umlaut had completely forgotten about:

 

Click HERE to see the video (embedding has been disabled).  It was posted by sound engineering legend Billy Anderson who says:  

This is the un-edited version of the Gene Simmons/Melvins thing at the Palladium in 1993. For better or worse... Also included: Myself and Jason destroying a radio for some reason, Dale 's kit at check, a giant fist in Detroit, soundcheck at the Palladium, a little clip of Primus, the Simmons backstage incident (he accidentally locked his bass backstage and was supposed to be onstage performing with the Melvins..I was at the soundboard and had no idea what was happening..) and subsequent entire cover of Goin' Blind, and finishing with a short clip of Plainfield (feat. Jeffery "Smelly" Griffin, and Trey) playing in Olympia. For some reason. Sorry for the frankenclip, i don't know why all these things are jumbled in one clip, but that's what i got. It is what it is-20 years old and hard to remember. Enjoy.

Besides all of that Rock Star action, this also happened backstage at The Palladium that night:

From Umlaut - Issue 9

Yes, The God of Thunder himself anointed my original xeroxed Umlaut 'zine with the help of Acid King and the Melvins.  Pretty historic, hysterical, and amazing in hindsight... It was in the days when Grunge was all the rage and burned in our hearts.  I'm pretty sure Gene Simmons would charge me for use of this other photo from that 1993 night now:

Umlaut - Issue 7 with Gene's bass... Next to King Buzzo's iconic original Les Paul that had the Rock and Roll Over decal on it.  Note that "someone" had added God Of Thunder makeup to my cover photo of The Skipper!

"I'm 93... You're 16.."

The Evil Has Landed

Pre-orders can still be made HERE directly from Bazillion Points.

And Metal Takes Its Price

Advance copies have arrived... which means it's only 33 days until this spawn is unleashed... Pre-orders can still be made HERE.


"Murder in the front row crowd begins to bang
And there's blood upon the stage
Bang your head against the stage
And metal takes its price
Bonded by blood!"

The 13th of December

It's been almost a year in the making but, to paraphrase Baloff, on December 13th Metal will take its price:


Appropriately, my co-author Harald and his band D.R.I. will be playing Slim's in San Francisco 3 days after the book's release on December 16th. The ghost of the original Bay Area Metal Scene will be in the room that night... Click HERE to visit the Bazillion Points MITFR website.

Murder in the front row
Crowd begins to bang
And there's blood upon the stage
Bang your head against the stage
And metal takes its price
Bonded by blood

Goodnight Dixie

"You can take a boy out of ol' Dixieland, but you'll never take ol' Dixie from a boy.." - Lynyrd Skynyrd

I named her Dixie because we got her in Alabama (long story).

Dixie in 2006

Despite the cute photo she wasn't a sweet dog; she was born behind a mobile home in rural Alabama and that was in her DNA. She didn't trust most people outside of Casa de Umlaut.. but she wasn't a bad dog.. She was a quirky personality who had issues... like most people. She cheated death a couple of times over her 14 years and despite her size she was a tough one. Rest in peace, Dixie.

"Turn it up.."

Murder In The Front Row

Indeed... Coming this Fall from Bazillion Points:

(Probably not the final cover..)

I don't want to spoil the surprise and fun, so all I'll say is that after seeing the epic Tom Gabriel Fischer book Only Death Is Real, Bazillion Points was the only publisher I even thought about working with on a project like this. The fact that Bazillion Points contacted me to do this proves, once again, that The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways. Harald and I grew up a mile from each other and have known each other since we were teenage Metalheads; the Circle of Life is completed again... for Metal.

In the meantime, click HERE for the official Bazillion Points press release and HERE for a brief interview that I gave to Noisecreep about the project. I'll post updates about this as they become official. Also, be sure and catch Harald on tour with D.R.I. throughout the rest of the year! Now cue Exodus:

Murder in the front row
Crowd begins to bang
And there's blood upon the stage
Bang your head against the stage
And metal takes its price
Bonded by blood

17 Years Ago Today

On this date in 1993, Umlaut was in Vancouver, Canada at the Commodore Ballroom seeing Neurosis with 7 Year Bitch.

(From the Umlaut Archives)

This was at the time when Umlaut 'Zine Mania was spiking big time and Umlaut was sweeping the nation and, along with Grunge, creating a shift in society of epic proportions (okay, maybe not...). Anyway, I spent a good amount of time and drunken nights on tour with the local heroes Neurosis back then.

From Umlaut #9 - Fall 1993

Good times... Anyway, that's what was happening on this date back in the 20th Century.

Starf*cker '92

As the header of this space says, Umlaut was a xeroxed zine from 1992-95. Like most who grew up in the loving embrace of Mass Media, Umlaut is not above being a starfucker when the opportunity presents itself... and this was especially true back in 1992:

Legendary author Harry Crews (The Gospel Singer, A Childhood, Blood And Grits, The Knockout Artist, etc.) at Printer's Ink, Palo Alto, CA with Umlaut #2. Kim Gordon (Sonic Youth) and Lydia Lunch named their 1989 side band Harry Crews.

Fresh-faced Steve Von Till and Scott Kelly of Neurosis with Umlaut #2 at Brave New World (R.I.P.) in San Franfuckincisco. Umlaut went on tour a couple of times with the East Bay crusties before they became the influential volume legends that they are today.. Epic times, dude.

Metallica's Kirk Hammett with Umlaut #4 backstage at the Cow Palace, S.F.. Metallica had just played the first of two homecoming shows on the Black Album Tour and had the #1 Album in the country. The Glory Days before Napster and band therapists.

James Hetfield of Metallica with Umlaut #4 backstage at the Cow Palace, S.F.. The Rock God of his generation years before Napster and band therapists. Umlaut and Hetfield actually had a really profound conversation; it was the first time we'd seen each other in around 8 years.

Old Umlaut friends Greg and John prepare to have Laibach autograph Umlaut #5. The Slovenian industrial legends were confused.

Dave Edwardson of Neurosis and Umlaut #5 hanging out at a Melvins / Helmet show at F/X (R.I.P.) in downtown San Jose. I'd probably been drinking.

Dave Mustaine of Megadeth with Umlaut #5 on the Megadeth tour bus in San Jose, CA. Umlaut was interviewing Mustaine for the book Metallica: Unbound (Note the "professional" notepad and cassette recorder); the interview can be found on pages 43-45 of the book.

1992: Good times, man. Good times. I miss those glue stick 'n paper cut 'zine days sometimes. Yeah, online shit is way easier, but I'd like to see you kidz get photos of Rock Stars posing with your blog... Just saying.

Six Years

I almost forgot: This month marks the 6th Anniversary of this space. For the newbies: Umlaut was a xeroxed 'zine in ancient times and then it went into hibernation for 9 years. For better or worse, the advent of The Information Superhighway facilitated its rebirth in this format.


To commemorate the past 2,190 days, here are some posts from Marches of the past:

2004: Click HERE to view the very first posts on this site.

2005: The Death of Bass Wolf

2006: DMBQ

2007: March Madness

2008: Panzerfaust

2009: Garage Days Revisted and Run Run Run

I rant in this space for mainly self-centered reasons: Putting words together keeps my mind sharp and I like the game of "writing"; putting words together is a puzzle that is fun to me. The fact that quite a few people actually read this space still surprises me... but THE coolest thing about the past 6 years is that I've met alot of those readers, and a couple of them have become good friends.

Cheers,
umlaut

Rock 'N Roll Damnation

Today marks the 30th Anniversary of Bon Scott's death. To commemorate this sad date here's an oldie but a goodie from Issue 7 (Winter 1992) of the original xeroxed fanzine version of Umlaut.


"It's a Rock 'N Roll Damnation
Ma's own whippin' boy
Rock 'N Roll Damnation
Take a chance while you still got the choice.."

Before E-Mail...

For the newbies: In ancient times (BEFORE e-mail... shocking!) people communicated by things called "letters" or "postcards" that they sent via something called a "post office". Back in 1992 Umlaut was a xeroxed 'zine and MTV licensed the use of some of my old photos in a Metallica "Rockumentary" (an early version of VH1's Behind The Music). In order to get the word out about this exciting event in Umlaut history I utilized the ancient art of "postcard writing":


To be honest I have absolutely NO MEMORY of sending this announcement out!! Wow... was I really that fucked up back then?? THANKS to Umlaut Nation brother DeVito for sharing this artifact. Trivia: Many of the same photos were later used in both the Metallica AND Megadeth episodes of Behind The Music.

Metallica: Behind The Music (1998)

Exit light, enter night..

Metal Militia

T-Minus leaving for the airport...

NPR station KPCC has done a piece about what's going down in Cleveland this weekend. If you wanna know what Umlaut's voice sounds like recorded, here you go:


METALLICA PALS 04.03.09

[IE, ARTS: The origins of LA-SF band Metallica on eve of R-N-R Hof induction]

Tomorrow [SAT] night’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony includes a heavy metal band that got its start in Los Angeles. Metallica was born here in 1981 – but didn’t stay long. A year later, the band moved to San Francisco, where a thriving underground network of tape traders, music writers and DJs helped push the band to stardom. And in the middle of it all was KPCC’s own Steven Cuevas.

Click HERE to listen to the piece.

5 Years

For those who care, today marks the 5th Anniversary of this so-called "blog". I rant in this space for mainly self-centered reasons: Putting words together keeps my mind sharp and I like the game of "writing"; putting words together is a puzzle that is fun to me. The fact that quite a few people actually read this space still surprises me... but THE coolest thing about the past 5 years is that I've met alot of those readers, and a couple of them have become good friends.



You can check out my Favorite Seven posts (links on the right side of this page) but, for those who care, it all started with THIS post. Thanks for the support!

Coffee, Tea or Umlaut?

"Ladies and Gentlemen, The Captain has turned on the Umlaut sign..."


This post is for the original readers of Umlaut when it was the xeroxed 'zine that ruled The Streets of San Francisco during the heady pre-Information Superhighway Days of the early-90's. Until now the following has been locked away in the Umlaut Archives.. Unbeknownst to all of you, for one brief shining moment in 1995, Umlaut was the in-flight publication aboard an MD-80 flown by one of the world's major airlines:

umlaut in the cockpit

the first officer with umlaut

the captain with umlaut

umlaut awaits the flying public

skychick takes an umlaut break

Of course, this would never happen today in the post 9/11 reality of the 21st Century, right? Damn terrorists..

Biafra Five-O

Jello Biafra / The Melvins / Drunk Injuns / Los Olvidados
Great American Music Hall, San Francisco
June 16, 2008



This was the first night of a two night stand to celebrate Jello's 50th Birthday... Twas also a classic "only in San Francisco" show... It was also a classic example of how Umlaut sometimes feels schizophrenic when it comes to his Music Geek side; just the other day I was ranting and raving about Robert Plant & Alison Krauss. Now I have to report that I had the same level of reaction (images, really... feelings) to this performance. I guess it just reinforces that quote attributed to Louis Armstrong: "There are only two types of music.. Good and Bad." Discuss amongst yourselves.

The Umlaut Nation was out in force with Timo, Teri, Johnny, Any, and Raymond watching my back. It's a good thing too because I cannot remember the last time I was so TIRED at a show; I was still trying to shake off my stint in the EST last week.. Man, there were a couple of times when I thought I was gonna fall asleep and plant my face on the lovely wooden floor of the GAMH... but I sucked it up.

It's been years since I've seen the GAMH floor open up into a pit as big as the one started early in the evening.. Remember Jesus Lizard at the GAMH? Me too... Umlaut is old.... BUT it was reassuring being at a show where most of the crowd was around my age... AND it was cool to see THE KIDS at the show.. and I mean KIDS... like no older than 8-years old sitting on the shoulders of their cool parents. Those kids are gonna be alright.

You know how life takes twists and turns.. Back in the xeroxed Umlaut 'zine days, the Melvins were basically Umlaut's official band... I was absolutely fanatical about them and followed them all over this great land of our's... But things happened and things changed (I don't mean that in a good or a bad way... things just changed...)... Fast forward to the 21st Century and it's been 9 years (!) since I last saw the band live. Wow.. Time flies when, etc. etc.

In typical goofy, but inspired, fashion the Melvins opened the evening by playing in (sort of) a recreation of their original 1983 Punk lineup featuring Buzz on guitar, Dale on bass (in lieu of Matt "Mudhoney" Lukin), and original drummer Mike Dillard... with a set featuring songs from their Mangled Demos including the classic 'Set Me Straight'. Unique... Fun... All of the above.

Hot on the heels of that, Los Olvidados and Drunk Injuns delivered nice old school style Punk sets... and while Drunk Injuns had the advantage of wearing cool masks onstage, I have to say I liked Los Olvidados a bit more 'cause they closed their set with a cover of the Dead Boys' 'What Love Is' which is, like, one of Umlaut's fave songs... Trivia: Los Olvidados and Drunk Injuns have the same members.

Back in The Day when Umlaut was a xeroxed 'zine, Jello was Umlaut's stalker for a month... Click HERE to relive those magical times. Umlaut also obtained a definitive interview with Jello back then as well:

From Umlaut Issue 10 - Fall 1994

Prior to her son taking the stage, it was announced that Jello's mom had flown in from Colorado and was sitting in the balcony. Awww..... Jello finally took the stage with his new band, The Axis of Evildoers, featuring local boys Billy Gould (Faith No More) on bass, Ralph Spight (Victim's Family) on guitar, and Jon Weiss (Sharkbait) on drums. Jello was a ball of furious 50-year old energy and I'm sure his mom was proud. After running through 40 minutes of new songs, the new band gave way to the Melvins and special guest guitarist Adam Jones from Tool (!).

Jello really hit his 50-year old stride with the Melvins set and it was great to see him getting into his onstage fury as the set progressed. Somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure they opened with 'Plethysmograph' and played most of the other songs off the Never Breath What You Can't See and Sieg Howdy albums, including my commute theme song 'Yuppie Cadillac'.. I have to admit that after 9 years it was good to see Dale and Buzz live again.. They're still the Dynamic Duo of Volume.

The updated version of 'California Über Alles' really got the floor going... as did the rip-roaring 'Holiday In Cambodia' that closed out the festivities... and I'm sure 'Holiday' will be remembered as one of Umlaut's musical highlights of 2008... As soon as the intro started EVERYONE in the room knew what was coming, so when the song kicked in, the entire room went OFF. It was beautiful.. It's the MUSIC, man... It's the fucking MUSIC. "Pol Pot... Pol Pot... Pol Pot..."

Maybe someday Hayne will write about her experience of being Jello's chauffeur for a night back in The Day (hint hint)... but until then I won't harsh the overall respect the guy has... As I commented earlier, this was an "only in San Francisco" event and it lived up to that. I'm thankful that the S.F. Bay Area is where I was born and raised and where I grew up to be a Music Geek. He may be San Francisco's version of Bono, but Dog bless Jello Biafra.... goddamit.

Number of Necros shirts = 1. I didn't do a merch audit because there was WAY too much stuff for sale; the merch table was like an Alternative Tentacles garage sale... BUT t-shirts and CDs were only 10 bucks! I bought one of each. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. At $22 for 4 hours of entertainment we were all abuzz afterwards over what good value for money the evening had been... It's nice to find a bargain in these hard economic times... cue Noam Chomsky... or Jello... definitely not Rollins.

Click HERE to see Raymond's pics from the event!

3 Years

Woah... I realized that I've been doing this "blog" now for 3 years.. and the original 'zine version of Umlaut ran for 3 years. Time flies, man.

In the beginning 20th Century Umlaut:

In the beginning 21st Century Umlaut:

CLICK HERE

Quite a few readers of this space were reading my geek rants back in 1992, and it's profoundly cool to still have y'all around! It's pretty fucking cool actually. Cheers you lot!

ADDENDUM: Ooops, I realized that the majority of you reading this weren't with Umlaut in 1992-95. Here's something that will give you a flavor of who Umlaut's original fan base was back in the late 20th Century:

From Umlaut's Mail (December 1993)

That's right, the 'zine version of Umlaut was basically read by hipsters, bands, and inmates.