New Blood

Landmine Marathon
DNA Lounge Annex, San Francisco
March 21, 2013

Twenty-eight years ago on this date Iron Maiden played San Francisco on the epic Powerslave Tour:

[From the Umlaut Archives]

The support band was Twisted Sister and the Maiden San Francisco crowd booed them.  True story. 'We Ain't Gonna Take It' was no 'Aces High'.

I've spent more time with Landmine Marathon than any other band over the past 20 years, but things have changed since the last time I saw them 9 months ago.  Unfortunately, after 8 years founding member and vocalist Grace Perry decided to leave the van and return to the real world.  Landmine faced the decision about what to do.  Thankfully, the band has kept their momentum going by bringing on Krysta Martinez (also vocalist for Northwest Grind merchants Transient) and this show was part of a brief 7 show West Coast run to tighten the band up before their first visit to Mexico City at the end of March.  Tonight was only the 4th time the new Landmine had shared a live stage together.

I went into the show feeling very weird about seeing Landmine without the lightning rod that was Grace Perry on the mic.  A couple of Landmine shows that I saw over the past 4 years rank as some of my favorite sets ever.  Could the band come close to recapturing that fury?  That was the thought in the back of my mind as I hung out with the guys and met Krysta for the first time.

The new version of Landmine felt *right* minutes into their set.   No, it's not the same band; the previous lineup had an underlying current of chaos onstage that sometimes ended with blood literally on the stage.  It was that chaos that made the band so great and one of my favorites. The current version of Landmine is not that... but that's not a negative. The band have put their head down and are now tighter than ever and Krysta lets the fury of the lyrics written by her predecessor carry her role in the band.  

[Photo courtesy of Photo Ray]

The setlist was a good cross section of 9 songs and they all worked great.  Opening with 'Shadows Fed To Tyrants' into the oldie 'Bile Towers' the set was tight and direct.  Any pre-show doubt that I had about Landmine were quickly erased.  'Morbidity' will always be a special song since it was played for the first time in Oakland last year.  The fury that Landmine has come to represent is still there.  The band is still just enough like their old selves to be familiar but also different enough with Krysta so I'm confident they won't simply try to mimic something that's gone.  New blood is a good thing.  Having the set close with a great version of 'Red Days' was perfect for me. 

If you bought one of every Landmine merch item you would have paid around $180.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag.  According to the Umlaut Archives this was my 16th Landmine show in 8 cities and 5 states.  New blood is in. Life rolls on.

Wherever I May Roam

My brain has been completely fried for almost 2 weeks now and it's showing no signs of clearing. At this point I'm just going to have to power through this post and get it out of the way. The final days of June that I'm going to attempt to rant about were some of the most action packed 3 days of my life; brain overload. Anyway... Here we go..

Orion Fest
Bader Field, Atlantic City, New Jersey
June 23-24, 2012

Back in early February Metallica announced their eclectic Orion Fest featuring a bill that was decidedly not Metal. At first I was about to dismiss the festival, especially since it was in Atlantic City. However, sometimes the Metal Godz work in very mysterious ways. Long story short, I soon got word from Umlaut's kindred spirit band Landmine Marathon that they had been personally selected by Mr. James Hetfield to play Orion Fest. Did you hear that sound? It's the sound of Umlaut's past and present smashing together in an amazing full circle moment. I can't completely articulate the magnitude of how special this moment was for me: One of my all-time favorite bands connecting with a band who have become my good friends over the past several years. Amazing... but that wasn't the end of it. Long story short (again), I was then contacted by the Metallica camp and asked if I would participate in a Q&A session with the band's fan club members about Murder In The Front Row at Orion. What the fuck... Metallica validating our book so publicly was not something we ever expected to happen! Wow.

Fast forward to June 22nd and I found myself on a flight from San Francisco to Philadelphia... Then I found myself in a car taking me from Philadelphia to Atlantic City. Then I found myself in Atlantic City. Atlantic City is a shithole, but I was wearing a Motörhead shirt and I was fist bumped, shouted out, and a bartender gave me the thumbs up because of it. I also found myself in a bizarre rain forest themed restaurant and then we met a guy named Jesse in a Trump Plaza bar who ended up being inappropriately annoying. Then the bar's DJ played 'Jessie's Girl'. I think Bruce Springsteen should be punched for romanticizing New Jersey.

Orion Day One:

The day started off with breakfast at the hotel and then it was a blur of sun and volume for the next 12 hours or whatever. After a minor hiccup with Will Call drama ("Not on the list..") I made it inside, met up with friends, and saw the tail end of Baroness on the main stage (Orion Stage) before wandering around the huge festival grounds to get my bearings. At this point The Sword were playing on one of the side stages (Fuel Stage) to a big crowd and they were a good soundtrack to my reconnaissance of the grounds. Then we made our way to the Frantic Stage in time to see Roky Erickson take the stage and it set the tone for the rest of the weekend. I really embraced the eclectic billing of the festival and it was cool to see a lot of people posting up to see Roky and the version of 'Creature With The Atom Brain' was one of my favorite performances of the weekend. After Roky we wandered back to the Orion Stage and into the vaunted Snake Pit at the very front (special pass needed... natch..) to watch some of Lucero. The band's Southern Fried sound was perfect for the heat and humidity of New Jersey and I liked them alot... but they also made me want a beer so that became my next mission. Then this happened:

Sandwiched between Metallica management and their legendary soundman Mick who has been with them since 1984. Mick was also joined by Cliff Burton's father. Crazy, man.

The Q&A session with Metallica Fan Club members was... pretty fucking cool. I was taken aback by how genuine the fans from South America, Japan, and Europe were; they reminded me of how I was back in The Day. The Bay Area takes Metallica for granted and you can't understand how massively popular the band is until you travel thousands of miles away from the Golden Gate Bridge. Seeing dozens of Metallica shirts on the streets and then meeting people who had traveled to... uhhh... Atlantic City from places like Argentina and Japan to see the band was crazy. I wouldn't travel to a similar shithole city in Argentina to see a band. Just saying. Anyway, I was caught off guard about how much interest there is about the original Bay Area Metal Scene and how much people from faraway lands know about it. Anyway, that was my 15 minutes of fame at Orion. Now back to the music..

Hearing Suicidal Tendencies on the Damage Inc. stage dueling with Modest Mouse on the Orion Stage as their set times overlapped was surreal. My brain didn't know what to do so I chose to return to the VIP area for a beer and some food. I know: Poser. To be honest at this point of the first day I was kind of burned out from the heat and the first day's excitement. So much so that I chose to have another beer instead of wandering out to watch Artic Monkeys... and then we made our way back to the vaunted Snake Pit to post up and wait for the headliner's set which was to feature them playing the Ride The Lightning album in its entirety for the first time. The return of the Snake Pit was pretty cool.

Photo courtesy of Metallica.com

Watching Metallica from the Snake Pit was not unlike watching the Blue Angels perform. I’d catch something out of the corner of my eye and it would be, like, Kirk running past. I have a vivid memory of driving to Tower Records in Mountain View in the Summer of 1984 to buy Ride The Lightning on import when it came out. It's a sacred album to Umlaut and it's still weird to see my name in the liner notes. I saw 4 shows on the Ride Tour so it was special to be in New Jersey to witness this performance... and it included another full circle moment as quite a few of my co-author Harald's photos from Murder In The Front Row were used in the intro film that was played before the band launched into 'The Call Of Ktulu' (YES, Metallica asked permission to use the photos).


Pretty fucking cool, right? Yes, the headliner played their iconic 2nd album in reverse order, which was a brilliant move as the pacing completely worked! Seeing Metallica perform 'Trapped Under Ice' was something I can finally cross off my bucket list... but I felt VERY dubious about being there to witness the first ever performance of 'Escape'; it's been my least favorite Metallica song since 1984. However, it seems that the younger generation of fans have no such baggage about the song and I have to admit it was cool to see James, Kirk, and Lars cracking up while they played it. Also, ironically 3/4 of me was caught in one of Metallica's official photos of The Snake Pit from the night... Good thing I was wearing a white t-shirt (on the left):

Photo courtesy of Metallica.com

I will also admit that I still get chills during the intro to 'Fade To Black' and it just might be my favorite live song that Metallica plays. The version performed in New Jersey was stunning.

As the dust settled and the crowd exited into the balmy New Jersey night, we returned to the sedate backstage area, chatted with a couple of friends, and had another comp Budweiser. I also met one of the filmmakers responsible for Lemmy: The Movie, which was pretty great (Hey Wes!)... Then realized I was starving. Fast forward to 1:30am and I found myself in an establishment called the Chelsea Pub & Inn with a cheeseburger and Heineken in front of me while drunk patrons fed the jukebox and played Motörhead, Scorpions, Metallica, and Pantera. Atlantic City is not without its charms.

Wes Orshoski (Lemmy: The Movie)

Then less than 12 hours later it was...
Orion Day Two:

The second day was less hectic and more enjoyable since there were more bands playing who I wanted to see. After another decent breakfast at the hotel the 12 hour or so blur of sun and volume started all over again. Here's a quick rundown:

• Liturgy. I texted a friend during their set and they told me Liturgy recently lost 1/2 of their lineup including the drummer.. which explained why "the band" only consisted of 2 guys and a drum machine. Liturgy are a polarizing "band" with people either liking them or hating them. I have to say I fall in the latter category; Liturgy seems to take the piss out of Death Metal by presenting it with a safe Hipster aesthetic that ignores the legitimate mythos and traditions of the Death Metal genre. Fuck that.

• A Place To Bury Strangers. I lasted about 5 minutes into Liturgy before I wandered back out into the sun and over to the Fuel Stage to watch APTBS. I was glad to see the band's great fuzzy volume again, but it didn't have the same impact in the daylight as it does in a dark club. Still, Oliver Ackermann's guitar strangulation was a perfect way to be woken up on this balmy Sunday.

Next came the two bands who meant the most to me and who's inclusion at Orion Fest had me the most jazzed. Ghost is my favorite band at this time in my life for a myriad of reasons. I was curious about seeing them in full daylight, but the band has been playing this time slot all Summer in Europe and they stepped things up by changing their stage gear to white. This color move was fucking brilliant and made them stand out magnificently onstage. The highlight of the set was Papa Emeritus taking a "Pope Walk" around the entire Snake Pit stage during 'Death Knell'.

Papa Don't Preach

The Swedes played a 60 minute set that was identical to the headline set they played on their debut U.S. Tour back in February. However, due to an ironic bit of scheduling I had to bail away from Ghost a couple of songs before they finished so I could make it back to the Damage Inc. Stage for the set that I wanted to watch the most in Atlantic City.

To be honest, this bit is a little more difficult to write. As I said earlier, Landmine Marathon are good friends and it was emotional for me to walk up on the stage as they prepared to play the biggest show in their 7 year history. I've seen them in empty clubs in front of less than 20 people... I know how hard they've worked and toured... Their last U.S. Tour was 37 shows in 38 days.. They've played alot of shitty shows in shitty towns... but here they were playing Orion Fest at the personal invitation of Metallica. Amazing. All of the awkward emotions that the band and I have felt for each other over the past several years were finally acknowledged as they erupted into a explosion of Metal Mayhem on the stage in New Jersey. My favorite kidz from the desert absolutely killed it in front of their largest crowd to date. It was one of those rare, special moments when I witnessed a band go to the next level with their confidence and, judging from the reaction, the crowd watching them understood this too.

Landmine has taken my sight

At one point in between songs, Ryan (guitar) stepped over to me as I stood at stage left and shouted "WE'RE PLAYING WITH METALLICA!!" with the biggest smile on his face. That said it all... and it caught me off guard when Grace (vox) dedicated to band's set to me. Awww! After the set my head was buzzing from the emotions and the Metal. A very special 45 minutes... and it will probably end up being my favorite set of 2012.

One element of Orion Fest that was intriguing was how each member of Metallica curated something based on something near and dear to them outside of the band. Lars hosted a tent that screened some of his favorite recent films. Trujillo showcased skateboarding with a Vans sponsored area. Hetfield hosted a custom car show featuring vehicles from his collection. Kirk's showcase featured his vintage Horror movie collection and also served as the official launch event for his upcoming book Too Much Horror Business. It was pretty cool... and these personal Metallica showcases were WAY more interesting than if they had been the members of Pearl Jam, right?

After Landmine's set we found ourselves being ushered in the back door of Kirk's Crypt so we didn't have to stand in the ridiculous line out front (Thanks Paschke!). We were placed in a makeshift VIP area and listened to an interesting Q&A with Kirk and the guys responsible for the restoration and acquisition of his Horror artifacts. I had no idea about the restoration efforts that went into some of the one of a kind movie posters and lobby cards. It was very interesting and informative, but we then took advantage and wandered around the Crypt to look at the displays while the rest of the crowd listened to the Q&A. The collection was fun and impressive, but ultimately I felt like I was missing out on things... so it was back outside into the heat and humidity of lovely Atlantic City.

The Geeks shall inherit The Earth

Unfortunately, I missed Torche while spending time in Kirk's Crypt... but did watch some of Volbeat on the Fuel Stage (a solid live band who attracted a massive side stage crowd) and also some of the great Charred Walls of the Damned back on the Frantic Stage. I meant to watch some of Country superstar Eric Church for the hell of it... but one thing led to another and I ended up backstage chatting with my friend Papa Emeritus of Ghost. I know I sound like an asshole, but it's the truth. Among other things Papa and I had a conversation about how 'Escape' is the most important song to him personally on Ride The Lightning. Discuss amongst yourselves.

For tonight's headline set, Metallica performed The Black Album in its entirety which reminded me that I saw 3 shows on The Black Album Tour. However, 'Shortest Straw' was my favorite song of the set. While it's not the band's most mainstream song, seemingly the entire crowd of 50,000+ was singing every word of it. It was pretty fucking cool. When it came time for The Black Album (performed in reverse order) I felt my interest level waning halfway through and it was off to take advantage of the uncrowded concession area to refuel. Is there anything more satisfying than exchanging a drink ticket for a ice cold beer on a hot evening? Nope.

After the headline set we found ourselves in the backstage area reserved for the side stage bands where much free alcohol was being distributed and annoyingly loud, bad dance music was being played by a run-of-the-mill DJ type. Although there were plenty of friends to keep me occupied the bad music was too much and I made my exit back into the balmy New Jersey night... Thus ending my Orion Fest experience on a somewhat quiet note.

Behind the Metal Stage

Much to my pleasant surprise, Orion Fest was a completely awesome experience. I didn't see all of the bands who I wanted to catch, but I saw the ones that meant the most to me. For the most part it was well run and organized and the eclectic nature of the bill made it even more enjoyable because it meant it wasn't the usual Metal crowd. The vibe of the weekend was (not to sound all Hippie Shit) communal and mellow. I didn't see any fights. I didn't see any stumbling, passed out in their own vomit drunks.... and I think that was a good thing for once. The one thing that did kinda sorta bug me about the weekend was I couldn't believe that Metallica did not play 'Orion' at Orion Fest. Weird... However, this minor oversight was forgotten the next morning: I traded messages with the guy who wrote 'Master Of Puppets' and told him how my friends Landmine Marathon had been so excited to play the festival and they absolutely killed it in front of their biggest audience. His response was pretty amazing and I hope he doesn't mind me quoting it here:

"That's why we did this thing. Exposure. Bands mature and grow when they get big crowds to play to."

Say what you will about Metallica, but that statement is pretty fucking cool. Deep down they do remember what it was like being that unknown band playing shitty tours in shitty towns... and now look at them.

THANKS to the members of the Umlaut Nation who kept me company over the weekend (Audrey, Cable Car, Canada Dave, Dylan, Grace, Matt, Raul, Ryan, Tony). Good times.

Then 48 hours later it was...

Iron Maiden / Alice Cooper
Comcast Center, Mansfield, Massachusetts
June 26, 2012

Sometimes the Metal Godz work in mysterious ways, man. After the weekend of sun, humidity, and volume in New Jersey I found myself on a short 50 minute flight to Boston. However, not before the flight was delayed around 2 hours because of a crazy ass thunderstorm. Thankfully the real life ride the lightning arrived late so it didn't ruin the weekend.. Long story short, if only all shows were this easy:


The ice cold $9 beer was worth every penny after the drive to the venue. While in the Men's Room pre-show a woman came to the entrance and shouted "MAHRK!! GET BAHCK OUT HEARA!" in a thick Boston accent... Then all the dudes started chanting "MAHRK! MAHRK!" in their Boston accents. New England is hilarious.

Since Alice Cooper isn't on the Maiden dates out West, I was glad to be able to see the tour with him on the bill. Alice pretty much had his full stage show (robots, guillotine, etc..) and played a brief 10-song set that included the hits you'd want to hear in such a short time ('Billion Dollar Babies'...'I'm Eighteen'.. 'School's Out'..). His latest band is good and got the job done. Alice is always the classic showman onstage. Thankyougoodnight!

As they have since the beginning, Maiden proceeded dimming the houselights by playing 'Doctor Doctor' by UFO. I love tradition! As sacred as Maiden are to me, you have to sometimes take their setlists with a grain of salt because they tend to play what they want and not what fans expect. Thankfully, on this 2012 Tour Maiden have stocked the set with more old goodies than on the previous trek 2 years ago. I can't remember the last time they played 'The Prisoner' live and the fantastic mid-set 1-2-3-4 punch of 'The Trooper' into 'The Number of the Beast' into 'Phantom of the Opera' (!) into 'Run To The Hills' was... awesome.

Phantom of the Opera from the soundboard

As with my Metallica experience at Orion Fest, I was glad to finally see Maiden outside of California. The East Coast crowd sang loud and the entire venue from the back to the front was going off the entire night. After closing the main set with the standard 'Iron Maiden' my favorite English band came back onstage and after all these years I still lose my shit when they play 'Aces High'. At this point I made a strategic decision and bailed early to beat the traffic out of the antiquated amphitheater's parking lot. I was cool with my decision since I intend to see at least 2 or 3 more shows on the Maiden England Tour. Fly to live... Do or die.

The next day time was killed before the flight home in North Boston where I had a fantastic lobster roll and ice cold beers at Goody Glover's while sitting outside in the balmy East Coast Summer.. When it was all said and done, Umlaut traveled over 6,300 miles on this Musical Odyssey. On the way back to San Francisco, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Good times... However, I hate to say it but after 8 years my brain feels like it's totally hit a writer's block wall with this space right now. Let's see if I can snap out of it...

"Rover... Wanderer.. Nomad.. Vagabond.. Call me what you will."

Memorial Day

Nasum / Landmine Marathon / Brainoil
Oakland Metro, Oakland, California
May 28, 2012

Memorial Day Weekend 2012. The day before the show it was nice to have some quality hang time with Umlaut kindred spirit friends Landmine Marathon. The band arrived in The Bay Area a day early to rehearse with their new drummer Raul (formerly of the East Bay’s own mighty Impaled!) at the legendary Soundwaves Studios. Landmine’s bloodcurdling Metal was in stark contrast to the sweet sounding Indie Rock band who were rehearsing in the space next door. Good times… and later that night this happened:

LandMIME Marathon
[Photo courtesy of No Ceiling Photography]

Fast forward to the next day and I found myself inside the comfortable crusty interior of the Oakland Metro. It had been 9 months since the last time I saw Brainoil. Much to my delight, the band were on fire and really entrenched themselves with me once again. Their sound, especially onstage, has a ridiculously heavy groove that could go on for days. I also still love how Brainoil seems to literally bleed the grit and grime of the East Bay with every note. Maybe it's just my old man brain, but the old skool 510 attitude just oozes out of every note that Brainoil plays. A local treasure... of volume.

Umlaut has a special kinship with Landmine Marathon and it's been downright awesome to watch their progression over the past 3 years since I first met them. I'm gonna just come right out and say how proud I am of the kidz being handpicked by Metallica to play at their Orion Festival in Atlantic City later this month. From Metal blog buzz band to their tunes being on James Hetfield's iPod. You'd be a dick to deny that's not awesome. Tonight was only their 3rd show with Raul on drums and included the live debut of the song 'Morbidity'. Ferocious. Great band. Great friends. 'Nuff said. I'd take a bullet for them.

All the way from Sweden for the first time ever, Nasum are a band whose tragedy could easily overshadow their substantial legacy. For the newbies: The band's singer and guitarist Mieszko Talarczyk was tragically killed in the 2005 tsunami in Thailand while on vacation. The band's brief one-off U.S. Tour was meant to celebrate the band's 20th Anniversary... and also served as their Farewell Tour. Bizarre and sad. To be honest, Nasum means alot more to others than to Umlaut and it was cool to see the awe and excitement the band's visit caused. A nice grind groove... a nice grind vibe. However, I'll come clean and say Nasum have never been on Umlaut's radar... but it was heartwarming to witness the celebration their appearance on these shores caused amongst friends. Maybe Umlaut in Swedish means poser? Discuss amongst yourselves.

If you bought one of every Landmine Marathon merch item you would have paid around $200. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Early the next morning, running on 4 hours of sleep and coffee, Umlaut found himself on a plane bound for L.A. for work. No rest for the wicked, man.

The End Of The Road

Warbringer / Lazarus A.D. / Landmine Marathon
Thee Parkside, San Francisco
November 7, 2011

It's not often that I've witnessed the first show of a tour and the last show of a tour... but that's what happened with the America Torn Asunder Tour featuring this packaged bill. A little over a month ago I attended the tour's first date down in Hollywood. The bands were all fresh faced, their merch bins full, and their equipment prepped and ready for over a month on the road. Now 38 days later the tour steamed into San Francisco for the 37th and final show of the trek. Damn, 37 shows in 38 days. I expected the bands to look pretty crispy when I saw them again… and they were… and some of their equipment was no longer alive.. but their merch bins were almost empty… which is a good thing.

Thee Parkside is a special venue for Umlaut when it comes to my kindred spirit band Landmine Marathon because it's where I was first exposed to their blow torch ways onstage. Fast forward over 2 years and 12 shows later and it was cool to see Landmine within these familiar confines again. Tonight would be my lucky 13th time seeing the band. Landmine were welcomed back to San Francisco with the traditional box of Mission burritos that touring bands have coveted since time immemorial.

As Ryan Landmine and I went to the Prius that was parked on a dark side street to retrieve the foil wrapped jewels it felt like I was making a drug delivery to the band. For those who care, Landmine's burrito setlist was:

• 1 bean rice and cheese
• 1 chicken burrito with lettuce pico sour cream, etc
• 1 bean rice cheese lettuce tomato/pico
• 3 bean rice pico guacamole no cheese
• Hot sauce on the side

METAL.. Don't worry, the box was made from free range cardboard.

Truth be told, this was more of a hang out session than a gig… I was only there to see Landmine and the night took an unexpectedly old school social turn when I discovered that Rafa Black Cobra and Gary Holt and his entourage were in the house. Gary was literally just off the plane back from Austin where he had sat in with Slayer again at the final show of their World Painted Blood Tour. Much old school conversation ensued and I decided that Gary needs a History Channel show called You Weren't There where he will debunk all the myths about The Old Metal Days.

"Thrash started on the East Coast?! Bullshit.. You weren't there!!"

Landmine Marathon killed it. Tonight was the 13th time I've seen Landmine and they were firing on all cylinders from the opening notes of 'Three Snake Leaves'. The first night of the tour 38 days earlier had been somewhat shaky, but tonight the grueling 912 hours that had passed since that first show detonated for this last show. It was one of the most focused sets I’ve seen Landmine play... No bullshit... 7 songs… 40 minutes.. blow torch volume… decent crowd action.. Thank you, g’night! While I missed hearing some of the old set list standards, the 3 news songs were confidently brutal and felt broken in from the month of working them out on the road. I've said it before: Great band... great people... and Gary Holt even liked them. So there you go...

(Photo courtesy of Photo Ray)

Sorry, I don’t like Lazarus A.D... so the outdoor patio of Thee Parkside was a welcome refuge as they entertained the crowd inside. I don’t mind Warbringer; they seem like good dudes and they’re definitely Road Dogs when it comes to touring. I had heard they added a cover of Motӧrhead’s ‘We Are The Road Crew’ to their set since the opening night of the tour. When they started into that classic I went in to watch some of their set from that point. Again, Warbringer are a good band but it's just that I've seen it before... in 1983. Honesty is my only excuse.

If you bought one of every Landmine Marathon merch item you would have spent around $95. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. The burrito drop was handled the old fashioned way: Via the barter system.. will delivery burritos for t-shirts and vinyl.


Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from the night!

Street Of Metal

Warbringer / Lazarus A.D. / Landmine Marathon
The Key Club, Hollywood, California
October 3, 2011


As fate would have it I was in Hollywood for some work business on the same day as Sunset Boulevard was invaded by this Metal package tour. Prior to showtime Umlaut was able to have a summit meeting with a friend who used to live in S.F.; it was almost like the "old days" at Thee Parkside and DNA Lounge again. Then we few, we happy few, made our way to Sunset Boulevard and The Key Club.

Tonight was the first date of this 31-date package tour that ends on November 7th in San Francisco. The pre-show activities included witnessing an encounter between my friend and the gross lecherous father / manager of the local support band in front of the venue. I imaged the guy had prowled Sunset Boulevard back in the 80’s when he was maybe 50 pounds lighter and had hair. I’m sure it was hard for 80’s Hair Metal guys to age… Bummer, dude. No more Cherry Pie for you.

It had been 10 months since I last saw my kindred spirit band friends Landmine Marathon. Their new album (Gallows on Prosthetic Records) really captures the live fury of the current lineup and it's their best since 2006's Wounded IMO. Landmine are rooted in the Hardcore Punk scene and I wondered how they would fare on this bill featuring two bands from the current retro Metal thing. I was also reminded how problem-ridden the first night of a tour can be and the band’s 40 minute performance was somewhat affected by these distractions. This included the house monitor guy rudely walking onstage in the middle of the set to switch out Grace’s mic even though there didn’t seem to be any problem with the one she was using.

Despite the bumps, the setlist was a good mix of songs with 3 off the new album; opening with ‘Three Snake Leaves’ and closing with the old standard ‘Red Days’. It was also good to see Landmine fill a big stage again since the last time I'd seen them in a "major" venue was at Scion Rock Fest 2010 in Ohio over a year and a half ago. Since I had missed Landmine's last visit to San Francisco back in August, it's always a win-win when I can see and hang out with one of my favorite bands.. even on a less than perfect night.

The Key Club is one of those soulless venues whose interior looks more like a bad suburban strip club than a concert venue. However, one advantage of seeing a show there is that the legendary Rainbow is only a half a block away. It’s so easy to escape The Key Club and go to The Rainbow for a drink and hang out in between bands... which we did... twice. Unfortunately, Lemmy was not in the house tonight.

I’ve probably seen Lazarus A.D. before but they annoyed me a whole lot tonight. Lazarus A.D. are from Wisconsin (dontcha know..) and their choreographed headbanging (which included the drummer!) made me laugh out loud. It really did… which is a shame because the Midwestern kids have decent chops on their respective instruments. Still, it’s a fine line between being Metal and being silly looking. I also couldn't help wondering what hair products the band uses on the road to give it that silky smooth sheen.

Warbringer means well and I think their Metal heart is in the right place. It was cute how the band members lined up at the front of the stage during songs and their shirts looked like a page from the Rockabilia catalog: Discharge (guitar), Bathory (vocals), Carnivore (bass). Left out of the mix was the 2nd guitarist at stage left; he looked out of place with his short hair and non-band plain black tee. Note to 2nd guitarist: Grow out your hair and stop at Hot Topic and buy a Slayer shirt to wear onstage so you look like you belong at the party, ‘kay? The singer is also one of those vocalists who talks in a growling “Metal“ voice. It was cute how he sometimes slipped out of character and used his “normal” voice. Dude, if you just use your normal voice when talking to an audience it will make it easier for everyone.. Just saying. Still, I don’t want to bag on Warbringer too much because, out of all the current retro Metal bands going today, I do think they are one of the better ones. It's just that I've seen it before... in 1983.

All in all, my night on Sunset Boulevard was more about seeing friends and band friends than anything else. Thanks to Matt Landmine for letting me say I was in the band to the venue staff so we could get food inside the venue before the doors opened... 'cause food is where it's at..

I didn’t do a merch audit… but I did finally have a burger from Grill ‘Em All (a "Waste 'Em All" burger) and it was awesome. On the way back to The Bay Area, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. The next morning I flew back home and went straight into the office and put in a full 8 hours. No Sleep 'Til Casa de Umlaut.

Bar-B-Que

In my last couple of posts I said that I was burned out and jaded about most Metal bands... So, of course the logical thing to do was get on a plane to Texas to go see Metal bands... right?

Skeletonwitch / Withered / Trap Them / Landmine Marathon
Red 7, Austin, Texas
December 4, 2010

So it was get up at 4:00am… Drive to Oakland Airport for a 7:05am flight to Vegas to meet a 9:30am connecting flight to Austin. Land in Austin at around 2:30pm… METAL. Tonight’s show was the final night of the 15-city U.S. / Canadian “Skullsplitter Tour” and was also basically a Prosthetic Records showcase with 4 label mates sharing the bill on this Saturday night.

Landmine Marathon (Arizona): It's always interesting to follow a band closely and witness the moment when something finally clicks for them; a time in their career when a missing piece of their puzzle falls into place. No offense to their previous drummer at all (Hey Mike…) but Landmine's new drummer Andy is their missing piece. SOLID Metal drumming that focuses their chaotic Hardcore tendencies. The set was a tight blast furnace that lit up with 'Bile Towers' and scorched to a close with 'Rise With The Tide'. One of my favorite bands has stepped up their game and all I can say is "FUCK YEAH..." See? Good things DO happen to people who believe in blasphemy.

Trap Them (Washington State): Trap Them were a last minute addition to the show and they rolled onto the stage with their druggie Hardcore vibe that's as jarring as it can be entertaining. I'll be honest and say Trap Them are a band who tends to make me head to the bar for another round but, unless there's something else going on out front, I'll hang at the bar to watch them. Tonight I was going back and forth.

Withered (Georgia): Thankfully Withered left their smoke machines at home this time and let their sonic darkness do the talking. They were amazing... and the volume wall they built in this chilly Austin night was more profound in its simplicity than anything Roger Waters performing The Wall could do for me. Withered's new album Dualities is a magnificent beast that I've been having hand-to-hand combat with for the past couple of weeks. Seeing the new material presented live made it even better; bands like Withered who make me go straight into the darkness are my favorite ones... and I don't want a flashlight.

Skeletonwitch (Ohio): This was the best set that I've seen by the band and I’m still of the opinion that the opening riff to ‘Beyond The Permafrost’ is perfect. I don’t know if it was because it was the last night of the tour, but having a Metalhead transvestite in the front row must have been special for the band... 'cause who doesn't like Metal Trannies!? Whatever the case, it was a great set that reminded me how a Metal Scene really can be the same from city to city (in a good way). The crowd was into the Metal… The band was into the crowd… What else is there except the band selling more merch as a result in order to eat decently the next day? “Breathing The Fire” indeed…

Anyway, by definition I did travel to Austin to see some Metal bands… but it ended up being a little more than that for my head. Besides seeing the bands I also spent the afternoon and the night and the next morning hanging with old friends, band friends, and new friends… and it was cathartic for me. As I said in the beginning of this rant, I’ve been feeling burned out about most Metal bands recently. However, hanging out in Austin… eating BBQ… record shopping... and shooting the shit and trading war stories pre-show with friends in Casino over beers was good for the soul… and also provided the most symbolic moments of my Austin trip: The two times I brought up Metallica in a conversation a Metallica song started playing on the bar's jukebox; I shit you now. The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways. I think the lesson that I learned during my 24 hours in Texas was that you can’t escape your past… and sometimes that’s a good thing… and you should embrace it… and I will. A shout out to Umlaut Nation friends Landmine Marathon and to my Texas comrades Hard Rock Chick and Crawlspace Booking for the good times.

If you bought one of every Landmine Marathon merch item you would have paid around $120 (I think). On the way back to San Francisco, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag... which makes sense I guess. I went to Texas with 3 black t-shirts in my bag and I came back to San Francisco with 6 black t-shirts in my bag. How did that happen?

48 Hour Marathon

The exciting sequel to 15 Hours!

Landmine Marathon
The Hub, Sacramento, CA
July 1, 2010

This was Umlaut's 6th show in 7 days... and also the first Landmine Marathon show in almost a year that I didn't have to take a plane to see.

In classic Lock 'N Loll drama, the scheduled venue (16th Street Cafe) abruptly closed the day before this gig. However, the show was quickly relocated to a new space called The Hub. There wasn't a whole lot of information about The Hub on The Internets other than shows there were usually "invite only"... but we had the address and word that the show was confirmed... so with that Photo Ray and Umlaut jumped into the teeth of rush hour traffic to hit the road North to Sacramento. When we arrived at The Hub we found out why the venue is on the down low: It's basically a 20' x 20' room behind an auto body shop!

"The Stage" as seen from The Merch Table

The tapestries on the wall covered up the windows that looked into the body shop and the cars in various states of repair. Too funny.

I IMMEDIATELY knew this was going to be one of my favorite Landmine shows. The space was so Punk Rock DIY Medieval! It was going to be like a cage match in Stalingrad.... but at least it had a clean bathroom, although "the bar" was Straight Edge.

Straight Edge Bar

I have now seen Landmine Marathon in a major concert hall, bars, a pizza place, clubs, and now in the back room of an auto body shop. Now all I need to do is see them in a house and I can stop following them... (JOKING). This was the type of space I've been wanting to see Landmine perform in... Most people would be horrified to see a band under these conditions, but not Umlaut. It was completely DIY and underground... bare bones... no place to hide. Landmine exploding in such a small confined area would define everything I love about this band.

The band went on 2nd in order to make sure they played in case the Sacramento Police Dept. showed up to close the show down, which evidently happens regularly at The Hub. So, after setting up their gear with the quickness of a seasoned touring band, the tripwire was set and Landmine detonated with 'Exist' and the room quickly became a murder scene.

(Pic by Umlaut)

Initially there was that space of cowardice as people tried to keep a safe distance from the band... but that was quickly broken down and it was like a fistfight in Hell for the next 35 minutes or so.

(Pic by Umlaut)

In an unexpectedly heartwarming moment, Landmine dedicated 'Crisscross Thoughts' to Umlaut and Photo Ray. It was extra special because that happens to be Umlaut's fave "old" Landmine song. Awww... Special. This was an insanely fun show with the crowd practically on top of the band in the tiny room. Like I said, a fistfight in Hell.

Quote of The Night: "One word: Fuck yeah, man!" - Random Kid to Landmine... except that's 3 words, dude.

If you bought one of every Landmine merch item you would have paid $80. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Then 24 hours later it was...


Landmine Marathon
Kimo's, San Francisco
July 2, 2010

FINALLY a Landmine show where I could be home within 15 minutes and also Landmine's first S.F. gig since last August. I'm sure this has happened to everybody: A band asks if they can have a delivery sent to your house in advance of them arriving in your city... and then they ask if you can bring the delivery to their local gig. Am I right? Yeah, I thought so...

What was inside those boxes? MAGIC. Prior to the show Umlaut met up with Landmine as well as Aesop Ludicra and his genius son Ezra (aka The Biggest Iron Maiden Fan under the age of 10) at El Toro for that time-honored tradition amongst touring bands: Mission Burrito Sacrifice. The sacrifice was made... much salsa was spilled.

Upon arrival at Kimo's we had an hour or so to kill before load-in and spent it in time-honored San Francisco fashion: Drinking beers in a gay bar. Note: When there are dudes in a bar who sing along to every word to a Pink song you're probably in a gay bar. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course!

Landmine Marathon are a band with 2 sides: A Hardcore Punk side and a Metal side and I've noticed one of these sides becomes more dominant depending on the venue... or the crowd... or the band's mood. In Sacramento the night before it had been Landmine Hardcore... Tonight in San Francisco it was Landmine Metal and they performed the tightest, most focused set I've seen them play to date. Sometimes a steel pipe to the head is most humane of all weapons... sometimes... like tonight.

After the set opener 'Exist', Grace took command of the show by immediately closing that space of cowardice as people tried to keep a safe distance from the band. The band then played a defining performance that featured everything I love about Landmine onstage (the interaction, the unpredictability) kicked up a notch.

Landmine @ Kimo's
(Pic courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

There is always an underlying amount of theater going on when Landmine are onstage. When Grace sneers at a venue from the stage while wrapping the mic chord around her neck like a garrote and letting the mic hang like a charm around her neck it's worthy of Alice Cooper. This was Umlaut's 3rd Landmine show in 4 days and I had quickly keyed into how the rest of the band were playing at another level already as well. The Jackson bookends of Dylan and Ryan were Ginsu-like with their slicing precision and the Matt and Mike bass / drum hammer was a meat tenderizer to the ears. It's still early in this 35-date U.S. tour but, especially at Kimo's, it was obvious the band are already getting into a rhythm onstage as they pursue their bloodlust for bigger things. A blog rant like this can't communicate the energy and mayhem; Landmine Marathon needs to be experienced live in order to appreciate them. If you're lucky, some blood might even be spilled (literally).

Number of Motörhead shirts = 1. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. THANKS as always to Team Landmine (Matt, Ryan, Grace, Mike, Dylan, and Valerie) for our fellowship and joy in Jesus Christ.

• Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from Sacramento and Kimo's.
• Click HERE to see Sensory Abuse's shots from Kimo's.

15 Hours

Landmine Marathon
The Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
June 29, 2010

I was in L.A. for 15 hours... and it went something like this.

For those keeping score, this was Umlaut's 8th Landmine Marathon show and I've had to take a plane to see 7 of those shows.... WTF. Anyway, this road trip was also the perfect excuse for Umlaut to hang out with Old Metal brother Cuevas. Prior to the show my hosts Cuevas and Judy took me to their excellent local English pub The Royal Falconer for libations and food. Cuevas has been to the pub dozens of times and has NEVER heard them play Old Metal over the stereo... until tonight when Iron Maiden came out of the pub's speakers! THE POWER OF UMLAUT.

Following the pub stop we made the drive from Riverside to Boyle Heights and the infamous Blvd. Umlaut had heard and read about this venue and it lived up to the hype in the best way. Located in a sketchy area, the space features all the elements of a perfect Umlaut venue: Good bar area with decent beers, nice sized stage area with a good sound system, a bathroom that wasn't disgusting, and an outdoor patio... all wrapped in a nice dive bar reality. Bay Area locals: It's like Thee Parkside only bigger.

Upon arriving at the venue we eventually met up with Landmine... and Invisible Oranges and Umlaut FINALLY met. I think this meeting caused a minor earthquake in the area... and I think it's safe to say that we both know how to use chopsticks because of our genetics. Gung hay fat METAL.

Unfortunately Vöetsek were delayed getting to the club in time for their scheduled set, which was a bummer because I'd been looking forward to seeing the S.F. locals again. I don't think anything sums up Summer better than sitting in a band's sweaty van drinking cold PBR before they go on. Then it was around 10:20pm and the heat blast from Arizona announced itself with the eviscerating intro to 'Exist' that was followed by a blast furnace version of 'Red Days'... The aural heat was appropriately unbearable but I was once again caught up in the Landmine maelstrom.

Umlaut needs a new camera. The iPhone camera is shit for this.

Landmine can certainly handle a big venue, but a divey space like The Blvd is their preferred killing zone. I think that I go out of my way to see this band because part of me still can't believe a band can be so charismatic and intense so consistently. No matter what pre-show drama might have occurred out on The Road to the show, when Landmine steps onstage it's like a switch is flicked and all Hell breaks loose. Whatever shit that affected their day is channeled into the PA and the bloodletting begins... and it's funny that at most of the Landmine shows that I've seen the crowd leaves a space between themselves and the band. Something keeps them from getting too close to the stage during a Landmine set... and I think that "something" is FEAR... and FEAR is good. Into that space of cowardice leaps Grace who shoves, punches and grabs those in the crowd who dare make eye contact with her. SAY MAO, BITCH!


As their singer stalked back and forth from the stage to the floor, the band laid down their carpet of fury and volume that Grace used to rage against whatever was in front of her. The word that comes to mind whenever I watch Landmine is "transformation" because that's exactly what the band does when they're in their full rage and fury zone onstage.

As for the setlist, it was a good selection from the band's catalog... with the likes of 'Crisscross Thoughts'... 'Shadows Fed To Tyrants'... 'Skin From Skull'... and 'Bile Towers' spanking ears. The band had to abbreviate their set by a couple of songs, but chose to include their new blistering cover of the Born Against song 'Mary and Child' which only solidifies the fact that the band's soul is Hardcore Punk; Landmine are like the cannibalistic kindred spirit of the 80's Crossover bands. The evening's abbreviated beating ended with the band's favored set-closer 'Rise With The Tide'... and the rush towards the band's merch table commenced.

While it's always a buzzkill leaving a Landmine show, Cuevas and I said hasty goodbyes to the band and Invisible Oranges and jumped back in the car and headed towards Hollywood in hopes of pulling off an epic Lock 'N Loll doubleheader. Around 20 minutes later we found ourselves at...

Saint Vitus
The Viper Room, Hollywood, CA
June 29, 2010


I honestly didn't think we'd make it from The Blvd to Sunset Blvd. in time to catch Saint Vitus. However, as we walked up to The Viper Room after parking I could hear Vitus' volume seeping out of the club... and when we walked inside the band was already onstage and we were greeted by the full-on roar of 'White Stallions'! YES!! What a perfect song to symbolize this late, long, and loud night. "White stallions in my vein..."

The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways... and sometimes they send inspiration when you most need it. Just this past Sunday I had seen Saint Vitus in S.F. and had left the show somewhat dispirited because of the light attendance. However, my faith was restored inside the confines of The Viper Room. It was crowded but not uncomfortable. The sound was great. The band were more relaxed than I'd seen them before but their volume was just as ferocious... Actually, it was probably even more ferocious because The Viper Room only holds 250 people and this show felt very intimate.

Pic courtesy of Cuevas

I was actually dazed for a song or so because I had expected The Viper Room to be bigger but Saint Vitus were RIGHT THERE. Actually, it was so intimate that Dave Chandler jumped offstage during 'Born Too Late' (that echoed Wino's stage dive in San Francisco the previous Sunday) to play amongst the people... and when he was back onstage he took off his SG and raked the neck and strings of the guitar against the heads of audience members as Mark and Henry kept the beat and bottom end thundering. Meanwhile, Wino lorded over the room like The Rock God that he is... and once again 'Dying Inside' was the song that riveted the room with its tale of inner demons. It was ironic watching the drunk and skinny Hollywood Rocker kid holding his beer aloft as he teetered along to the song; Old Man take a look at my life, I'm a lot like you were...

Trivia: The space where The Viper Room is located was used for the club where The Plimsouls played in the movie Valley Girl... One of Umlaut's favorite movies. "That Techno Rock you guys listen to is gutless!" Yes, I genuinely love that move.

For those keeping score, according to the Umlaut Archives this was my 40th gig of the year which is 5 ahead of my 2009 pace. On the way back to San Francisco, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag... which makes sense I guess. So there you go... I was in L.A. for 15 hours and that's the way it was.. The next morning I was on the first flight back North with 3 hours of sleep and I went straight into work. Lock 'N Loll, motherfuckers.