Read For Me, Menlo Park

Bruce Dickinson
Kepler's Books, Menlo Park, California
November 2, 2017

Bruce Dickinson just completed another U.S. Tour this week and his first solo tour in 20 years.. Although here in the 21st Century it wasn't a band tour, but a spoken word trek to support his autobiography. Thankfully, the Bay Area was included in the itinerary with one of the only two West Coast appearances.  

• Monday 30th October - Huntington, NY - Book Revue | 7:00 pm - SOLD OUT
• Tuesday 31st October – New York City - Hudson Union Society | 12:00 pm | SOLD OUT
• Tuesday 31st October – Brooklyn, NY - Saint Vitus Bar, Hosted by WORD Bookstore | 7:30 pm | SOLD OUT
• Wednesday 1st November – Los Angeles, CA - The Regent Theater, Hosted by Book Soup | 7:00 pm | SOLD OUT
• Thursday 2nd November – Menlo Park, CA - Kepler’s Books | 7:30 pm | SOLD OUT
• Friday 3rd November – New York City - Gramercy Theatre, Hosted the Strand Bookstore | 6:00 pm | SOLD OUT
• Saturday 4th November – Ridgewood, NJ - Bookends Bookstore | 1:00 pm - SOLD OUT

Obviously it doesn't really count as a "U.S. Tour" since it only visited New York, New Jersey, and California.  The huge upside was while several of Bruce's other appearances were at theaters that seated up to 1,000 people, the Bay Area stop was limited to around 200 lucky souls who were wedged into Kepler's.

Iron Maiden and Motörhead were the bands who influenced me the most profoundly in my Salad Days and no matter how nit picky and jaded I can be about bands now, when it comes down to it it's still Maiden... Always.

This photo was taken by the teenage me the first time I saw Maiden... which was also the first time they played in the Bay Area on the Number of the Beast Tour in 1982. My expectations were high to see Bruce at a bookstore in such an intimate and unique setting, but the wild card was would it be interesting hearing him speak instead of fronting Maiden onstage.

Prior to the event we few, we happy few, met at the British Bankers Club (BBC), a "British Pub" that is literally 100 feet or so from the bookstore. It should have been the perfect spot to pre-game before Bruce since the BBC has been a fixture in Menlo Park for almost 100 years (!). However, sadly the place was sold in recent years and the old interior completely gutted and remodeled into a modern sterile Silicon Valley 2017 environment. What a bummer... Oh well.. at least the food and libations were decent.

To quote Maiden: "The Golden Goose is on the loose and never out of season.."

Inside Kepler's, the event started pretty much on time with Bruce arriving accompanied by an emotionless security guy who kept watch and glared at the audience the entire time. There would be no shenanigans like bum rushing the stage on this night.. which of course probably would not have happened anyway.

I didn't know what to expect and I think everyone in attendance was caught off guard when Bruce hit the tiny stage like he does at a Maiden show. He dove right in with a well-paced prepared presentation complemented by slides from his book. It was engaging, funny, insightful, and entertaining!  

Most people may not be aware that Bruce battled cancer on his tongue in 2011 and his autobiography is the result of that near-death experience. This perspective gave all of his stories more weight since he obviously appreciates everything in his life more. The one story he told that struck me was how he had spent 10 years as a commercial airline pilot and he'd use his vacation time to go on tour with Maiden! Amazing.. and you cannot help but appreciate that Bruce still preferred to work even though he could no doubt have rested on his laurels living off of Maiden royalties. Inspiring.

 

He told tales and showed slides for almost 90 minutes (a full Maiden set!) and then picked up a basket that had tennis balls in it (?!) and flicked the basket at the audience so the balls flew out. Each ball had a different number written on it and that's how he selected what passage from his book he would read. Imaginative and random! It gave the event that little personal and spontaneous touch. 

As we were waiting for Bruce to arrive, the bookstore's staff handed out blank note cards to random attendees to write a question for Bruce to answer. Yes, I got one and asked:

To close out the presentation Bruce read most of the questions that had been submitted on the cards. Alas, my question was answered in tandem with another question about The Trooper Beer but I guess it should have been obvious Bruce would plug his own beer. Still, at least my question was acknowledged. 

The night ended with Bruce signing copies of his book (no memorabilia or selfies were allowed) and while it was a typically controlled, assembly line signing with 5 seconds of interaction it was still cool to finally "meet" Bruce after all these years, shake his hand, and have him say "Thanks, mate!" to me.

All in all it was a very casual, civilized, entertaining, and full circle evening that was made more special because I witnessed it with good friends, some of whom I saw Maiden with back in The Day.

Now cue this song of course.. which I did not like at all when it was originally released.. but ironically it's now one of my favorite Maiden tunes. Imagine that.

35 Years Ago Today

On this date in 1982 I went to Tower Records in Mountain View, California with my best friend at the time and we bought this new album that came out today. 

We were already fanatical fans after finding the Killers album in the Tower import section a year or so before. I later found this Japanese import because I collected all my favorite albums on Japanese wax back then. Maiden are the band that made me forget about Van Halen. Four months later Maiden visited The Bay Area for the first time and it was game over, man.. Game over.

Anyway, 35 years today.  Crazy.. Hope I die before I get old.. and to quote the title song:  

"Just what I saw in my old dreams...  Were they reflections of my warped mind staring back at me?"

Maiden.  Always.

March 30 Years Ago

This is what Umlaut was doing in March of 1985:

[From the Umlaut Archives]

One of these things is not like the others...

• March 3rd - Prince & The Revolution - Purple Rain Tour ("Wear Purple")
• March 13th, 14th, & 15th - Metallica - Ride The Lightning Tour (No ticket stub for the 13th..)
• March 21st - Iron Maiden - Powerslave Tour

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999 but dammit it ain't right because it's 2 minutes to midnight.

Run To The Hills

The Battle of San Bernardino
Iron Maiden / Megadeth / Anthrax / Testament / Overkill
September 13, 2013

This show went onsale over 4 months in advance back in April, which seemed like a 100 years in the future back in the Spring... but now the day had finally arrived.  This was the type of bill that would only happen in Europe when I was a Teenage Metalhead in the 80's; one that we could only dream would happen in America.  That was over 30 years ago, so better late than never I guess.

After taking a late night flight out of Oakland I found myself in a hotel parking lot at midnight and it was still almost 80 degrees outside.  There was a car with Slayer, Anthrax, Exodus, Testament, Iron Maiden, and "All I Want To Do Is Listen To Heavy Metal" bumper stickers on it.  As I walked past this Metal Mobile I said "Hi" to the kid who was leaning against it.  He replied with "You going to Maiden?"... and I said "Fuck yeah"... and he nodded and replied with "Fuck yeah.." Then I walked past a car with 2 kids making out in it. Then I got into the elevator with 3 kids, one wearing a Metallica tee, who reeked of doobage. They suddenly bailed out of the elevator before it closed; maybe they thought I was a narc despite my Motörhead shirt. The kidz are alright.

The next day when we arrived in the amphitheater parking lot the Maiden tail gate parties were already in full roar with tents and even campers set up.  Gathering of The Tribe! The tone was set early on when we walked past a Maiden fan wearing a Maiden hockey jersey in the 90+ degree heat but who also had an artificial leg with The Trooper art painted on it (!).  Metal!  Despite how the day would unfold, I was overwhelmed a couple of times by a sense that I was amongst "my people".

Anyway, I became involved in some Will Call drama that makes this story kind of convoluted, so I'll try and relate this tale as organized as possible.   First off, we had tickets so English Bob and I made it inside and watched Overkill play on a small side stage crammed into a corner of the concourse.  More importantly, we made it inside to get a cold beer after standing in the hot sun at Will Call.  Unfortunately, Overkill sounded like shit and we couldn't really see them.  The next hour or so was a blur of heat and beer combined with some nice conversations with a couple of Bay Area friends who had also made the trip (Hey Liz and Tiyo!) and some other Metalheads who we randomly met.  One of them was wearing an Orchid tee and his friend without warning told me she had given the guy wearing the Orchid tee a copy of Murder In The Front Row for Christmas.  Wow.. They had given no indication they knew who I was up until then.. Thanks for the support! Then Testament opened up on the main stage.

Our Bay Area heroes unloaded into the sunburned face of San Bernardino with a short and concise 30 minute set.  The newer song 'Rise Up' opened things up followed by old standards like 'The New Order', 'Practice What You Preach', and 'Into The Pit'.   A half hour was criminally short for a band of Testament's stature but it was clear that the crowd understood it was quality over quantity this time.  Thankfully Chuck Billy & Company are hitting the road in the U.S. again this Fall because they were just getting heated up in San Bernardino when they had to unplug and head back to the comfort of backstage.

Anyway, back to my Will Call drama:  Yes, I had tickets but my name was not on a certain guest list for a pass as it was supposed to be.  Back in the ancient times before The Internets and mobile technology you couldn't call or text someone to help you with a Will Call problem.  You could try to slip a handwritten note to someone backstage via a security guard, but unless you were a cute girl the odds of that working weren't that great.  For all of the things technology has ruined here in the 21st Century (record stores, etc..) it's also made situations like this much easier to deal with... as long as you have a cell signal... which was very hit and miss at this venue (Trivia:  The US Festival was held on this same site in 1983).  So during the time after Testament played the following happened...

Despite my initial Will Call setback, the Metal Godz once again proved they work in mysterious ways.  One thing led to another and I contacted an old friend (via text) who lives on the other side of the country.  This friend (Hi Patrick!) contacted a mutual band friend (who we've known for years) whose band happened to be playing today.  Then this band friend passed on his contact info to me and I contacted him directly.  Then after trading messages back and forth with this band friend and his assistant this was delivered to Will Call for me:

Unfortunately I only saw the first song of Anthrax's set ('Caught In A Mosh') since I used the plastic to go backstage and thank my band friend before his set.  Considering that (1) his band was playing direct support at the show and (2) it was his birthday and he had his family with him, the fact that he went out of his way to help me was amazing.  Then this happened:

Pretty cool.  Anyway, after a short chat my band friend told me to come back after their set.  I just want to say this:  No matter what Dave Mustaine's politics or opinions might be, the bottom line is he still treats me like a friend after 30+ years... and that's all that matters to me.  He genuinely remembers the Old Metal Days... and he still shreds.

We stopped in Catering to grab some waters... and it was surreal seeing 2 members of Maiden casually hanging out with crew and guests.  I ran into another Bay Area friend who's on the Testament crew (Hey Walter!) and also managed quick chats with Alex and Chuck of Testament as well. We also finally met up with Photo Ray and the day's Bay Area circle of Metal was finally complete.  All of the earlier crazy from the heat Will Call drama was forgotten.

Right before Megadeth came on they played Diamond Head - 'Lightning To The Nations' and Exodus - 'Bonded By Blood' back to back over the PA... which was a nice old school touch.  Then the houselights went down and Megadeth tore into 'Hanger 18' and then 'Wake Up Dead'.  The band's production consisted of video screens behind them and on the back line which worked very well with the band's set of precise Metal.  Over the next 50 minutes Megadeth were my favorite band for obvious reasons.  The band executed a tight set that included a great version of 'In My Darkest Hour' as well as solid versions of 'Symphony Of Destruction' and 'Peace Sells' that closed the main set with the encore of 'Holy Wars' nailing it all down.  Solid.

I missed the first 3 1/2 songs of Maiden's set because I was at Mustaine's birthday cake party in his trailer.  The symphony of destruction of Dave's birthday cake:

For the record it was a chocolate cake with a creme filling shaped like a Flying-V.  Deliciously Metal.  Yes, we sang 'Happy Birthday' to him.  It should also be noted that Accept was playing on the stereo during the birthday cake party.

After the Mega-Birthday party we returned to our seats midway through '2 Minutes To Midnight'.  Ironically today was Friday the 13th... and according to the Umlaut Archives this was my 13th time seeing Maiden.  Trippy.   This was also the 3rd time I've seen Maiden on this tour and, despite having missed the beginning, it was the best performance out of all of them. Maiden were on fire, with Bruce sounding especially strong and the sound was pretty much perfect; the huge crowd sang along loudly to every song. Epic. The version of 'Wasted Years' was special.   As during the previous shows I saw on this tour last year, the middle section of 'The Trooper' into 'The Number of the Beast' into 'Phantom of the Opera' into 'Run To The Hills' had the most impact. However my favorite tonight was the epic complex progressive hammer of 'Seventh Son of a Seventh Son' while 'Wasted Years' and 'Aces High' were the emotional highlights for me. Is there any more life affirming concert moment than singing along with 30,000 other Metal fans to 'Aces High'?!  Nope.  "Fly to live!!  Do or die!"

There was a group of 4 young Hispanic Metal kids sitting right in front of me.. all decked out with denim vests, patches, and band tees... and they sang along to EVERY song. They were going nuts the entire time and knew all the songs and not just "the hits". I almost got teary eyed watching them sing along with Maiden during 'Wasted Years'.. They stood on their chairs every once in a while to bang their heads.. If it had been any other show I would have been the annoyed old guy, but they were just like me at their age. It was awesome. The kidz are alright.

The next morning I was preparing to return to The Bay Area when the Metal Godz provided us with one final blessing for the weekend.   While packing up I texted my farewell to a friend who then mentioned how I was only 15 minutes away from the grave of.... RANDY RHOADS.  WTF!?  Since we had time before our flight, English Bob and I found an awesome old school diner for breakfast (Tole House Cafe... Open since 1951!) and jetted the rental car towards Mountain View Mortuary & Cemetery... where we quickly found the final resting place of Randy Fuckin' Rhoads:

I was speechless.  I worshipped Randy Rhoads during his short time with Ozzy and had been lucky enough to have seen him onstage twice. However, it had been almost 32 years (!) since the last time I was in the same venue as him.  Seeing "1982" etched into his tomb profoundly reminded me how much time had passed since he left this world.  ALOT has happened since then and it felt like my Teenage Metalhead had come full circle (again).  Over the mountain, man... Over the mountain.

Number of strangers who told me they were Murder fans as I walked through the crowd at Maiden = 2.  On the way back to San Francisco, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags.  As with the epic Big 4 show a couple of years ago it took me a couple of days to decompress from this monumental day of Metal... but I didn't have a lot of time to reflect because a couple of days later I was attending the fancy U.S. red carpet premiere for the movie by a local Metal band called Metallica... but maybe I'll rant about that later.

"Run to the hills... Run for your life.."

Clive Burr

Last night the great Clive Burr joined Cozy Powell on that great drum riser somewhere. Iron Maiden completely changed my life circa 1981 when I picked up the Killers album from the import bin at the Tower Records in Mountain View, California.   The only reason I picked it up was because of the cover art... and then the live band photos on the back cover hooked my friend Rich and I.  We bought copies on the spot.

I was fortunate to have seen Clive twice with Maiden on The Number of the Beast Tour in 1982, the only times he visited The Bay Area with the band.  I won't pontificate on why Maiden were different with him on the drum riser, because all Maiden fans know what Clive brought to Maiden from 1979-82.  The Maiden records that Clive played on are still sacred to me, which is a small testament to his legacy.

Click HERE to relive July 18, 1982,  which many old Bay Area Metalheads refer to as "the day that changed everything".  Thank you, Clive.  Remember Tomorrow..  Yes, I wore a Number of the Beast t-shirt today.

Clive's pages from The Beast On The Road 1982 Tour Program

[From the Umlaut Archives]

Another aspect of Clive Burr and Maiden that I love is how the band did not abandon him even after he was out of the band.  In 2003, after he was stricken with multiple sclerosis and fell on hard times, his old band set up a trust fund for him.  They posted this update on the Iron Maiden website:

Thanks to your support, funds collected after costs now total £235,000!  The Trust has made considered donations which include: 

Clive Burr, home, health, life quality and the future: Due to his illness, Clive was unable to keep up the payments on his house and was in danger of losing it and becoming homeless. The Trust made a loan of £60,000, which solved Clive's immediate accommodation worries. 

Clive is currently involved in a special treatment programme with a specialised Professor in Belgium and has to travel there for treatment and tests. The Trust donated £9,000 to help cover these expenses, and to sponsor a much-needed short holiday. Clive also received £3,500 towards specialised equipment to improve the quality of his life. This included a special bed, a computer (to help link Clive with the outside world) and a DVD player (to play 'Rock in Rio' and 'Classic Albums - The Making of The Number Of The Beast').

Looking ahead - The Trust is making regular payments to help with Clive's living expenses, and will prioritise the need to help with the cost of medical treatment in the future.

How amazing is that?!  Is this day and age when bands and their former members constantly tear each other apart on the Internets, Maiden's attitude and outright affection for their former band brother is stunning and inspiring.  The official band statements in response to Clive's death are equally great:

Steve Harris said “This is terribly sad news. Clive was a very old friend of all of us. He was a wonderful person and an amazing drummer who made a valuable contribution to Maiden in the early days when we were starting out. This is a sad day for everyone in the band and those around him and our thoughts and condolences are with his partner Mimi and family at this time."
 
Bruce Dickinson adds “I first met Clive when he was leaving Samson and joining Iron Maiden. He was a great guy and a man who really lived his life to the full. Even during the darkest days of his M.S., Clive never lost his sense of humour or irreverence. This is a terribly sad day and all our thoughts are with Mimi and the family”

Anyway, this is meant as my small tribute to Clive Burr, a musician who greatly influenced me in my Salad Days.  Rest in Peace.  I will also restate how Iron Maiden are still one of my all-time favorite bands for a myriad of reasons... not the least of which is because they've always been a band who have managed to keep their mystic and credibility intact.


Up The Irons Forever.

Better Late Than Never

Today was the first day back in the office for 2013... and this was on my chair.

Clients Rule O.K.!  Click HERE for one of my Maiden 2012 projects.

My Oldest Best Friends

When I was an insecure, dorky teenager my record collection was my best friend. My record collection and my turntable kept me company when I was lonely and entertained me when I was bored. Last weekend two of my oldest best friends, like, ever visited me again.

Iron Maiden
Shoreline Amphitheatre, Mountain View, California
August 3, 2012

Iron Maiden. Always.

After having seen one of the first shows of Maiden's current tour last month in Boston, I was curious to see Maiden as they neared the end of another North American Tour. It's always interesting to see a band early in a trek as they're fine tuning their performance versus a dozen or more shows later when they've played to thousands of more people and (hopefully) gotten into their groove. Also, at this point in history, Umlaut has seen Maiden double digit times so I'm always interested to see if I can still geek out over seeing them.

The last time I saw Iron Maiden at this venue was for OzzFest 2005 when they absolutely blew the reunited Ozzy-fronted Black Sabbath off the main stage and made Rob Zombie on the 2nd Stage look silly.

[From the Umlaut Archives]

What can I say about Maiden that I haven't already said many times in this space? If you have time to kill go back through some of my older Maiden posts from years past (Click HERE to see all of my Maiden posts). Whenever I start to rant about Maiden here I feel like I'm repeating myself, and I don't want to bore the longtime readers by plagiarising myself again. However, I will say (again) that my Inner Teenage Metalhead lost it when 'Doctor Doctor' by UFO was turned up over the Shoreline PA to clue longtime fans that Maiden were hitting the stage in around 4 minutes. For the newbies: Maiden have played 'Doctor Doctor' before they come onstage since Day One. Umlaut LOVES tradition!

On this tour Maiden are doing what is basically a "Greatest Hits" set focused on a certain time period in their history. On this tour the focus is on the Seventh Son of a Seventh Son era (1988) which was a time when Umlaut wasn't engaged in what Maiden were doing. However this was one of those shows that reminded me way more people became Maiden fans after I discovered them during the Paul Di'Anno years. Does that make sense? Discuss amongst yourselves.

As in Boston, the high water mark of the night was the mighty mid-set 1-2-3-4 punch of 'The Trooper' into 'The Number of the Beast' into 'Phantom of the Opera' into 'Run To The Hills'. However, I have to say my favorite songs of the night were 'Two Minutes To Midnight' and 'Aces High' because it's awesome when a crowd sings along to them. At one point Bruce announced that Shoreline was unable to accommodate the band's full production tonight, which I found to be a very odd thing to happen here in the 21st Century. No matter, Maiden still performed with the same intensity that they had back in The Day and Steve Harris is still my hero.

One thing that I love about Maiden now is how much fun they look like they're having onstage. All of them are smiling, either at the crowd or at each other. Alot of jaded old fans will complain about what songs they didn't play or should have played but fuck that attitude. Personally, as much as I want to hear my fave Maiden songs live, I'm cool at this point in history to simply watch them perform as they attack a stage with the level of charisma and musicianship that very, very few bands now possess. Here in the 21st Century I'd rather watch 15 minutes of Iron Maiden onstage than 60 minutes of a band, like, Hatebreed. The right hand of Steve Harris über alles!

If you bought one of every Maiden merch item you would have paid just over $1,000 (one thousand dollars); Maiden's merch company rules! On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. It cannot be understated how amazing it was for me to have Iron Maiden visit the Bay Area again and then 24 hours later it was...

Aerosmith / Cheap Trick
Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
August 4, 2012

Cheap Trick. Always.

Before I discovered Iron Maiden and Metal, there was Cheap Trick. Umlaut was fanatical about them in Junior High and my first concert was Cheap Trick supporting Blue Öyster Cult at San Jose State on the At Budokan Tour. Yes, Umlaut is old and Cheap Trick are still one of my all-time favorite bands. Also, at this point in history, Umlaut has seen Cheap Trick double digit times so I'm always interested to see if I can still geek out over seeing them.

Fast forward to the 21st Century and no matter how tepid Aerosmith's creativity has become over the past 20 years it was hard not to have my Inner Classic Rock Teenager be awakened by seeing this bill on paper. Aerosmith with Cheap Trick is so 70's... but I didn't make any plans to attend. However, the Rock Godz work in mysterious ways and 24 hours prior to the show I found out that I'd be visiting Oracle Arena again on a Saturday night. The last time I saw Cheap Trick in this building was on the Dream Police Tour in 1979 (!):

[From the Umlaut Archives]

Reality check: In 1979 the ticket price was $9.50. In 2012 parking was $35. Crazy, right?

As I just said, the Rock Godz work in mysterious ways and one thing led to another and I found myself sitting in a front row reserved seat. WTF. As the houselights went down I stood at the rail for the first time in I can't remember how many years as some of my first Rock Star heroes walked onstage and jammed into 'Hello There' and went straight into 'Big Eyes' and then into 'California Man'. Holy shit! It seriously felt like 1979 all over again except I was in the front row this time! My head was in a haze watching Cheap Trick as half my brain was immersed in their performance and the other half was flashing back to the show almost 33 (!) years ago.

Cheap Trick are pretty much the only band that can erase every jaded thought out of my old man mind. When I see them I'm immediately that 16-year old dorky kid whose best friend was literally his record collection. My oldest best friends from Rockford, Illinois owned the stage in Oakland again for an hour and played all the hits you would want in an abbreviated Cheap Trick opening set. 'On Top Of The World'... 'Ain't That A Shame' (featuring Brad Whitford of Aerosmith joining them onstage)... 'I Know What I Want'.. and closing with the full tilt sprint of 'Dream Police' into 'Surrender' into 'Goodnight'. Yes, sadly Bun E. Carlos retired from touring a couple of years ago... but having Rick Nielsen's son Daxx on drums is working just fine and it's cool they kept it in the family. Also, this NEVER gets old:

[Photo courtesy of Cable Car]

The one difference seeing Cheap Trick in the support slot was that Rick was more subdued and didn't work the stage in overdrive like he normally does... and he didn't toss out as many guitar picks into the crowd either. Thankfully I managed to get one:


Me. Love. Cheap Trick. Long Time!

The last time I saw Aerosmith in this building was in 1984 (!) when these same band members attempted their first Reunion Tour; this was a couple of years before Run-DMC brought Aerosmith back from the dead. The show was filmed for MTV but it was never aired. Steven Tyler was fucked up and fell off the stage (TRUE!) and Joe Perry smashed apart his Stratocaster at the end of 'Sweet Emotion'. This venue on that Friday night in 1984 was also less than half full; here in 2012 on a Saturday night the same venue looked pretty much sold out.

[From the Umlaut Archives]

Reality check: In 1984 the ticket price was $13.50. In 2012 parking was $35. Crazy, right?

During the changeover after Cheap Trick there was the strong smell of incense coming off the stage; Aerosmith are such Millionaire Hippies now. I think 99% of the people reading this will agree that Aerosmith were better when they were younger and fucked up before they started writing songs geared specifically for film soundtracks. It's still hard to fathom that the same band who wrote 'Lick And A Promise' did that awful song from the movie Armageddon.

Fast forward to the 21st Century and I found myself on the rail preparing to see Aerosmith for the first time in 17 years (the last time I saw them was in 1995). The band's stage was the same style as AC/DC and Foo Fighters had used in this same venue in recent years: A long ego ramp from the main stage that ended at a smaller stage in the middle of the arena. I understand that bands claim to have this stage configuration in order to bring fans at the back into the show. However, Umlaut hates this modern day stage because it diffuses the energy of a Rock concert if some of the band members are on the main stage and the others are 100 yards away. Doesn't that make sense? If you're a BAND you should all be on the same stage at all times... but that's just me.

Aerosmith popped onstage (literally) at close to 9:15pm with Steven Tyler and Joe Perry suddenly appearing on the small stage to lead the rest of the band (aka the less popular original members) on the main stage into a surprisingly great version of the old classic 'Draw The Line'. For the next 2 hours I was both entranced and dubious about watching Aerosmith again. Of course, being in the front row directly in front of Joe Fuckin' Perry was awesome, but the fact that Tyler spent at least half of the set behind me on the smaller stage was annoying. Also, having Tyler perform away from the rest of the band so much gave Aerosmith 2012 a weird energy. It was sort of like a "That Judge from American Idol and The Rest of the Band" feeling. So, I spent most of my time taking advantage of where I was standing and watched Joe Perry at work. Despite everything else about Aerosmith 2012, Joe Fuckin' Perry is still a badass.

[Photo courtesy of Cable Car]

Perry performed like the old school Guitar God that he is, especially when he pulled moves like jamming the headstock of his guitar into the battered grill of one of his vintage Marshall cabinets to strangle more feedback out of them. Magic. Thankfully, Aerosmith included a satisfactory number of vintage songs in the setlist. 'Same Old Song And Dance' and 'Last Child' were good. 'Rats In The Cellar' was the best song of the night with Tyler joining the rest of the band on the main stage and leaning forward into his mic stand to sing like he did back in the old days. Aerosmith wrote such GREAT fucking songs back when they were fucked up, man. When they announced 'Combination' I raised my fists in the air, but it was a weird version with only Joe Perry front and center singing and Tyler basically offstage behind the backline and drums. SO FUCKING WEIRD! That was one of the songs The Toxic Twins would sing together in the same mic when they were onstage fucked up on coke or whatever back in The Glory Days of the 70's. Weird. Anyway, if I never hear 'Dream On' again I'd be happy.

If you bought one of every Cheap Trick merch item you would have paid $210. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Aerosmith's "Day Pass" was basically All Access... as long as you stayed in hallways and didn't go into any rooms backstage. Ooookaaay. I've always been a much bigger Cheap Trick fan than an Aerosmith fan anyway.

Wherever I May Roam

My brain has been completely fried for almost 2 weeks now and it's showing no signs of clearing. At this point I'm just going to have to power through this post and get it out of the way. The final days of June that I'm going to attempt to rant about were some of the most action packed 3 days of my life; brain overload. Anyway... Here we go..

Orion Fest
Bader Field, Atlantic City, New Jersey
June 23-24, 2012

Back in early February Metallica announced their eclectic Orion Fest featuring a bill that was decidedly not Metal. At first I was about to dismiss the festival, especially since it was in Atlantic City. However, sometimes the Metal Godz work in very mysterious ways. Long story short, I soon got word from Umlaut's kindred spirit band Landmine Marathon that they had been personally selected by Mr. James Hetfield to play Orion Fest. Did you hear that sound? It's the sound of Umlaut's past and present smashing together in an amazing full circle moment. I can't completely articulate the magnitude of how special this moment was for me: One of my all-time favorite bands connecting with a band who have become my good friends over the past several years. Amazing... but that wasn't the end of it. Long story short (again), I was then contacted by the Metallica camp and asked if I would participate in a Q&A session with the band's fan club members about Murder In The Front Row at Orion. What the fuck... Metallica validating our book so publicly was not something we ever expected to happen! Wow.

Fast forward to June 22nd and I found myself on a flight from San Francisco to Philadelphia... Then I found myself in a car taking me from Philadelphia to Atlantic City. Then I found myself in Atlantic City. Atlantic City is a shithole, but I was wearing a Motörhead shirt and I was fist bumped, shouted out, and a bartender gave me the thumbs up because of it. I also found myself in a bizarre rain forest themed restaurant and then we met a guy named Jesse in a Trump Plaza bar who ended up being inappropriately annoying. Then the bar's DJ played 'Jessie's Girl'. I think Bruce Springsteen should be punched for romanticizing New Jersey.

Orion Day One:

The day started off with breakfast at the hotel and then it was a blur of sun and volume for the next 12 hours or whatever. After a minor hiccup with Will Call drama ("Not on the list..") I made it inside, met up with friends, and saw the tail end of Baroness on the main stage (Orion Stage) before wandering around the huge festival grounds to get my bearings. At this point The Sword were playing on one of the side stages (Fuel Stage) to a big crowd and they were a good soundtrack to my reconnaissance of the grounds. Then we made our way to the Frantic Stage in time to see Roky Erickson take the stage and it set the tone for the rest of the weekend. I really embraced the eclectic billing of the festival and it was cool to see a lot of people posting up to see Roky and the version of 'Creature With The Atom Brain' was one of my favorite performances of the weekend. After Roky we wandered back to the Orion Stage and into the vaunted Snake Pit at the very front (special pass needed... natch..) to watch some of Lucero. The band's Southern Fried sound was perfect for the heat and humidity of New Jersey and I liked them alot... but they also made me want a beer so that became my next mission. Then this happened:

Sandwiched between Metallica management and their legendary soundman Mick who has been with them since 1984. Mick was also joined by Cliff Burton's father. Crazy, man.

The Q&A session with Metallica Fan Club members was... pretty fucking cool. I was taken aback by how genuine the fans from South America, Japan, and Europe were; they reminded me of how I was back in The Day. The Bay Area takes Metallica for granted and you can't understand how massively popular the band is until you travel thousands of miles away from the Golden Gate Bridge. Seeing dozens of Metallica shirts on the streets and then meeting people who had traveled to... uhhh... Atlantic City from places like Argentina and Japan to see the band was crazy. I wouldn't travel to a similar shithole city in Argentina to see a band. Just saying. Anyway, I was caught off guard about how much interest there is about the original Bay Area Metal Scene and how much people from faraway lands know about it. Anyway, that was my 15 minutes of fame at Orion. Now back to the music..

Hearing Suicidal Tendencies on the Damage Inc. stage dueling with Modest Mouse on the Orion Stage as their set times overlapped was surreal. My brain didn't know what to do so I chose to return to the VIP area for a beer and some food. I know: Poser. To be honest at this point of the first day I was kind of burned out from the heat and the first day's excitement. So much so that I chose to have another beer instead of wandering out to watch Artic Monkeys... and then we made our way back to the vaunted Snake Pit to post up and wait for the headliner's set which was to feature them playing the Ride The Lightning album in its entirety for the first time. The return of the Snake Pit was pretty cool.

Photo courtesy of Metallica.com

Watching Metallica from the Snake Pit was not unlike watching the Blue Angels perform. I’d catch something out of the corner of my eye and it would be, like, Kirk running past. I have a vivid memory of driving to Tower Records in Mountain View in the Summer of 1984 to buy Ride The Lightning on import when it came out. It's a sacred album to Umlaut and it's still weird to see my name in the liner notes. I saw 4 shows on the Ride Tour so it was special to be in New Jersey to witness this performance... and it included another full circle moment as quite a few of my co-author Harald's photos from Murder In The Front Row were used in the intro film that was played before the band launched into 'The Call Of Ktulu' (YES, Metallica asked permission to use the photos).


Pretty fucking cool, right? Yes, the headliner played their iconic 2nd album in reverse order, which was a brilliant move as the pacing completely worked! Seeing Metallica perform 'Trapped Under Ice' was something I can finally cross off my bucket list... but I felt VERY dubious about being there to witness the first ever performance of 'Escape'; it's been my least favorite Metallica song since 1984. However, it seems that the younger generation of fans have no such baggage about the song and I have to admit it was cool to see James, Kirk, and Lars cracking up while they played it. Also, ironically 3/4 of me was caught in one of Metallica's official photos of The Snake Pit from the night... Good thing I was wearing a white t-shirt (on the left):

Photo courtesy of Metallica.com

I will also admit that I still get chills during the intro to 'Fade To Black' and it just might be my favorite live song that Metallica plays. The version performed in New Jersey was stunning.

As the dust settled and the crowd exited into the balmy New Jersey night, we returned to the sedate backstage area, chatted with a couple of friends, and had another comp Budweiser. I also met one of the filmmakers responsible for Lemmy: The Movie, which was pretty great (Hey Wes!)... Then realized I was starving. Fast forward to 1:30am and I found myself in an establishment called the Chelsea Pub & Inn with a cheeseburger and Heineken in front of me while drunk patrons fed the jukebox and played Motörhead, Scorpions, Metallica, and Pantera. Atlantic City is not without its charms.

Wes Orshoski (Lemmy: The Movie)

Then less than 12 hours later it was...
Orion Day Two:

The second day was less hectic and more enjoyable since there were more bands playing who I wanted to see. After another decent breakfast at the hotel the 12 hour or so blur of sun and volume started all over again. Here's a quick rundown:

• Liturgy. I texted a friend during their set and they told me Liturgy recently lost 1/2 of their lineup including the drummer.. which explained why "the band" only consisted of 2 guys and a drum machine. Liturgy are a polarizing "band" with people either liking them or hating them. I have to say I fall in the latter category; Liturgy seems to take the piss out of Death Metal by presenting it with a safe Hipster aesthetic that ignores the legitimate mythos and traditions of the Death Metal genre. Fuck that.

• A Place To Bury Strangers. I lasted about 5 minutes into Liturgy before I wandered back out into the sun and over to the Fuel Stage to watch APTBS. I was glad to see the band's great fuzzy volume again, but it didn't have the same impact in the daylight as it does in a dark club. Still, Oliver Ackermann's guitar strangulation was a perfect way to be woken up on this balmy Sunday.

Next came the two bands who meant the most to me and who's inclusion at Orion Fest had me the most jazzed. Ghost is my favorite band at this time in my life for a myriad of reasons. I was curious about seeing them in full daylight, but the band has been playing this time slot all Summer in Europe and they stepped things up by changing their stage gear to white. This color move was fucking brilliant and made them stand out magnificently onstage. The highlight of the set was Papa Emeritus taking a "Pope Walk" around the entire Snake Pit stage during 'Death Knell'.

Papa Don't Preach

The Swedes played a 60 minute set that was identical to the headline set they played on their debut U.S. Tour back in February. However, due to an ironic bit of scheduling I had to bail away from Ghost a couple of songs before they finished so I could make it back to the Damage Inc. Stage for the set that I wanted to watch the most in Atlantic City.

To be honest, this bit is a little more difficult to write. As I said earlier, Landmine Marathon are good friends and it was emotional for me to walk up on the stage as they prepared to play the biggest show in their 7 year history. I've seen them in empty clubs in front of less than 20 people... I know how hard they've worked and toured... Their last U.S. Tour was 37 shows in 38 days.. They've played alot of shitty shows in shitty towns... but here they were playing Orion Fest at the personal invitation of Metallica. Amazing. All of the awkward emotions that the band and I have felt for each other over the past several years were finally acknowledged as they erupted into a explosion of Metal Mayhem on the stage in New Jersey. My favorite kidz from the desert absolutely killed it in front of their largest crowd to date. It was one of those rare, special moments when I witnessed a band go to the next level with their confidence and, judging from the reaction, the crowd watching them understood this too.

Landmine has taken my sight

At one point in between songs, Ryan (guitar) stepped over to me as I stood at stage left and shouted "WE'RE PLAYING WITH METALLICA!!" with the biggest smile on his face. That said it all... and it caught me off guard when Grace (vox) dedicated to band's set to me. Awww! After the set my head was buzzing from the emotions and the Metal. A very special 45 minutes... and it will probably end up being my favorite set of 2012.

One element of Orion Fest that was intriguing was how each member of Metallica curated something based on something near and dear to them outside of the band. Lars hosted a tent that screened some of his favorite recent films. Trujillo showcased skateboarding with a Vans sponsored area. Hetfield hosted a custom car show featuring vehicles from his collection. Kirk's showcase featured his vintage Horror movie collection and also served as the official launch event for his upcoming book Too Much Horror Business. It was pretty cool... and these personal Metallica showcases were WAY more interesting than if they had been the members of Pearl Jam, right?

After Landmine's set we found ourselves being ushered in the back door of Kirk's Crypt so we didn't have to stand in the ridiculous line out front (Thanks Paschke!). We were placed in a makeshift VIP area and listened to an interesting Q&A with Kirk and the guys responsible for the restoration and acquisition of his Horror artifacts. I had no idea about the restoration efforts that went into some of the one of a kind movie posters and lobby cards. It was very interesting and informative, but we then took advantage and wandered around the Crypt to look at the displays while the rest of the crowd listened to the Q&A. The collection was fun and impressive, but ultimately I felt like I was missing out on things... so it was back outside into the heat and humidity of lovely Atlantic City.

The Geeks shall inherit The Earth

Unfortunately, I missed Torche while spending time in Kirk's Crypt... but did watch some of Volbeat on the Fuel Stage (a solid live band who attracted a massive side stage crowd) and also some of the great Charred Walls of the Damned back on the Frantic Stage. I meant to watch some of Country superstar Eric Church for the hell of it... but one thing led to another and I ended up backstage chatting with my friend Papa Emeritus of Ghost. I know I sound like an asshole, but it's the truth. Among other things Papa and I had a conversation about how 'Escape' is the most important song to him personally on Ride The Lightning. Discuss amongst yourselves.

For tonight's headline set, Metallica performed The Black Album in its entirety which reminded me that I saw 3 shows on The Black Album Tour. However, 'Shortest Straw' was my favorite song of the set. While it's not the band's most mainstream song, seemingly the entire crowd of 50,000+ was singing every word of it. It was pretty fucking cool. When it came time for The Black Album (performed in reverse order) I felt my interest level waning halfway through and it was off to take advantage of the uncrowded concession area to refuel. Is there anything more satisfying than exchanging a drink ticket for a ice cold beer on a hot evening? Nope.

After the headline set we found ourselves in the backstage area reserved for the side stage bands where much free alcohol was being distributed and annoyingly loud, bad dance music was being played by a run-of-the-mill DJ type. Although there were plenty of friends to keep me occupied the bad music was too much and I made my exit back into the balmy New Jersey night... Thus ending my Orion Fest experience on a somewhat quiet note.

Behind the Metal Stage

Much to my pleasant surprise, Orion Fest was a completely awesome experience. I didn't see all of the bands who I wanted to catch, but I saw the ones that meant the most to me. For the most part it was well run and organized and the eclectic nature of the bill made it even more enjoyable because it meant it wasn't the usual Metal crowd. The vibe of the weekend was (not to sound all Hippie Shit) communal and mellow. I didn't see any fights. I didn't see any stumbling, passed out in their own vomit drunks.... and I think that was a good thing for once. The one thing that did kinda sorta bug me about the weekend was I couldn't believe that Metallica did not play 'Orion' at Orion Fest. Weird... However, this minor oversight was forgotten the next morning: I traded messages with the guy who wrote 'Master Of Puppets' and told him how my friends Landmine Marathon had been so excited to play the festival and they absolutely killed it in front of their biggest audience. His response was pretty amazing and I hope he doesn't mind me quoting it here:

"That's why we did this thing. Exposure. Bands mature and grow when they get big crowds to play to."

Say what you will about Metallica, but that statement is pretty fucking cool. Deep down they do remember what it was like being that unknown band playing shitty tours in shitty towns... and now look at them.

THANKS to the members of the Umlaut Nation who kept me company over the weekend (Audrey, Cable Car, Canada Dave, Dylan, Grace, Matt, Raul, Ryan, Tony). Good times.

Then 48 hours later it was...

Iron Maiden / Alice Cooper
Comcast Center, Mansfield, Massachusetts
June 26, 2012

Sometimes the Metal Godz work in mysterious ways, man. After the weekend of sun, humidity, and volume in New Jersey I found myself on a short 50 minute flight to Boston. However, not before the flight was delayed around 2 hours because of a crazy ass thunderstorm. Thankfully the real life ride the lightning arrived late so it didn't ruin the weekend.. Long story short, if only all shows were this easy:


The ice cold $9 beer was worth every penny after the drive to the venue. While in the Men's Room pre-show a woman came to the entrance and shouted "MAHRK!! GET BAHCK OUT HEARA!" in a thick Boston accent... Then all the dudes started chanting "MAHRK! MAHRK!" in their Boston accents. New England is hilarious.

Since Alice Cooper isn't on the Maiden dates out West, I was glad to be able to see the tour with him on the bill. Alice pretty much had his full stage show (robots, guillotine, etc..) and played a brief 10-song set that included the hits you'd want to hear in such a short time ('Billion Dollar Babies'...'I'm Eighteen'.. 'School's Out'..). His latest band is good and got the job done. Alice is always the classic showman onstage. Thankyougoodnight!

As they have since the beginning, Maiden proceeded dimming the houselights by playing 'Doctor Doctor' by UFO. I love tradition! As sacred as Maiden are to me, you have to sometimes take their setlists with a grain of salt because they tend to play what they want and not what fans expect. Thankfully, on this 2012 Tour Maiden have stocked the set with more old goodies than on the previous trek 2 years ago. I can't remember the last time they played 'The Prisoner' live and the fantastic mid-set 1-2-3-4 punch of 'The Trooper' into 'The Number of the Beast' into 'Phantom of the Opera' (!) into 'Run To The Hills' was... awesome.

Phantom of the Opera from the soundboard

As with my Metallica experience at Orion Fest, I was glad to finally see Maiden outside of California. The East Coast crowd sang loud and the entire venue from the back to the front was going off the entire night. After closing the main set with the standard 'Iron Maiden' my favorite English band came back onstage and after all these years I still lose my shit when they play 'Aces High'. At this point I made a strategic decision and bailed early to beat the traffic out of the antiquated amphitheater's parking lot. I was cool with my decision since I intend to see at least 2 or 3 more shows on the Maiden England Tour. Fly to live... Do or die.

The next day time was killed before the flight home in North Boston where I had a fantastic lobster roll and ice cold beers at Goody Glover's while sitting outside in the balmy East Coast Summer.. When it was all said and done, Umlaut traveled over 6,300 miles on this Musical Odyssey. On the way back to San Francisco, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Good times... However, I hate to say it but after 8 years my brain feels like it's totally hit a writer's block wall with this space right now. Let's see if I can snap out of it...

"Rover... Wanderer.. Nomad.. Vagabond.. Call me what you will."

The Beast On The Road

The exciting sequel to No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn, Random Rock Star Moment: Bon Scott, Welcome To Hell, and Over The Top!

A million years ago back in The Old Metal Days I was penpals with a Metalhead in St. Louis named Trace Rayfield. Besides the usual penpal activities such as tape trading, Trace also contributed to my fanzine Whiplash. Of course, Iron Maiden was one of the bands that Trace and I bonded over. So sit back and enjoy Trace's memories of his adventures following Maiden around the Midwest back in those ancient times!

THE BEAST ON THE ROAD
ADVENTURES WITH MAIDEN FROM KILLERS TO THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST

Trace's autographed copy of Killers

Iron Maiden was one of the first NWOBHM bands that I heard back in the dawn of a new era of 1980. With all the buzz coming from across the Atlantic about Maiden's live performances it was only our true Metalhead duty to witness the band in person ourselves! So it began.

My buddies Wade Brooks, Tim Peplaw, Will and myself all piled into Wade's car for a road trip to Memphis (300 miles from our hometown of St. Louis) to catch the band on their debut tour of the States opening for Judas Priest. The date was July 12, 1981. Now by this time I’d seen Priest 6 times since ’77 so this trip was all about the new British Invasion that was about to take place.

It was a typical Memphis July day; about 107 degrees and humid. We had a tip on where the band was staying but with little time to spare before showtime we headed right to the Dixon-Myers Hall Auditorium because Maiden was kicking off the show before Whitesnake finished warming up the crowd for Priest. It’s fair to say that most in the crowd had no idea who the openers were but it took little convincing them that they were witnessing something special. Of course we did not know this would be our only opportunity to see this incarnation of Maiden; Paul Di’Anno was ousted a short time later. We expected Maiden to deliver the goods and they did! Galloping through a nice blend of tracks from their first two classic albums, they left the audience begging for more instead of wanting the David Coverdale show that they had to sit through next before Priest.

After the conclusion of Priest's 'Living After Midnight / Tyrant' encore, we proceeded to make our way to Maiden's hotel bar, where of course we found all of Maiden tasting the local brews and wondering why we served it so cold! We met and got our coveted autographs and photos from the entire band while engaging in small talk with whatever band member would listen. They could tell by our patch and badge covered denim jackets that we were serious about our addiction to Metal. Most of the band were soft spoken and shy with the exception of the gregarious leader of the pack Steve Harris.

Dave Murray and Steve Harris with Wade, Tim, and Trace

We were the only fans in the bar so Steve joined our table to discuss all things Metal. We asked his opinion on some of the up and coming NWOBHM bands as well as the vets like Priest, Sabbath, and UFO. You could tell that there was something going on with Paul because he wasn’t really socializing with the rest of the band. We had no idea that Steve was already thinking about replacing the vocalist. At one point we even asked Steve if Paul was doing coke and he snapped “He better not be!!" After a couple more beers, each band member drifted back to their rooms with Steve being the last to go (lucky for us!).

Clive Burr joins the photo op

Paul Di'Anno sort of joins the photo op

The arrival of 1982 would become the year of Iron Maiden for my good friend Wade Brooks and I. We would end up seeing the band 6 times with new vocalist Bruce Dickinson as they supported arguably their finest LP, The Number of the Beast. Although Bruce’s vocals introduced a new level of melody to the group, the dual guitar attack continued to shred our sensibilities as the rhythm section pummeled our insides. We had no intention of waiting for any local concert announcements while the band had already started touring the States. There was only one thing for us to do: ROAD TRIP!!

Trace's autographed copy of The Number Of The Beast

We had already planned a 2 day trip to see Motörhead on their Iron Fist tour dates in Detroit and Chicago on May 21st and 22nd. However, after finding out that Maiden had a show in Cincinnati the day before on May 20th, it only made sense for a 3-day, mega Metal excursion! As it turned out, this first show of the year for us was the best opportunity that we would have to spend time with the Maiden gang.

We had a knack for finding out the band hotels that would have made most groupies envious. Once we confirmed the band's location, we then checked into the rather unimpressive “motel” in Cincy. It was the type of motel where you parked right outside your room, with all rooms accessible from the parking lot. This trip also included Wade’s girlfriend Polly as well as our good friend Eric Brummett (aka “Natas”). Natas was an aspiring artist (he did some early Shrapnel Records LP covers) and also a Metal bassist. After settling into our room and with our cooler of beer in place, we set off to search for any signs of our Metal heroes.

Not long into our search we find our buddy from Memphis, Steve Harris! After introducing the new members of our entourage and snapping a few pix, we were instructed to meet at the bar across the street after the show for more autographs and alcohol consumption. Since this was our second time meeting Steve, his understanding of our devotion to travel hundreds of miles to see his band made it much easier to ask him if he could put us on the guest list. We had also met manager, and sixth member of the band, Rod Smallwood back in Memphis. This would turn out to be an asset along the way because nothing happens with Maiden without his knowledge or approval.

Backstage at the Cincinnati Gardens had a strange ambiance with security being tighter than we were used to back then. After asking some local groupies what all the fuss was about they reminded us that things were never the same here after The Who concert back in December of ’79 when 11 people were killed in a pre-concert stampede. They warned us that if you even lit a cigarette in the building you would be tossed out on your ass. Besides all of that, the lineup for this tour had us on edge, with the Dio-less Rainbow co-headlining with southern boogie band .38 Special! We were thinking about just watching Maiden and then getting out of there, but we did stick around to see some of Ritchie Blackmore’s guitar antics. Unfortunately the band was a shell of itself without Dio.

This was our first opportunity to see the “new” Iron Maiden and what a new level of energy Bruce brought to the stage! He whipped the crowd into a frenzy that D'anno could of only have dreamed of doing. Steve Harris had a look on his face like he knew he made the right decision when replacing his previous singer with the more energetic ex-Samson vocalist.

After the show as promised we were able to meet up with some of Maiden back at the local bar. One memory from this encounter was Adrian having trouble getting served alcohol. He had to go back to his room to get his passport if my memory serves me! It’s funny to realize how Maiden were still very young back in ‘82. More autographs were collected with our new LP and 12” EP’s purchased since our last meeting. We even brought our Samson albums for Bruce to autograph, although there was no sign of Bruce in the bar yet. Here's one of the only photos from that night:

It was taken outside of the band's Cincinnati hotel. That's Steve Harris second from the right with Polly (Wade's girlfriend), myself, and our buddy Natas (aka Eric).

We made our way back to our room instead of drinking in the bar since our cooler of beer was already paid for and put on a tape of some NWOBHM on Wade’s shitty little tape player. We then proceeded to dig into the cooler. It was a warm spring night in Cincinnati so we left our door open as we began our After Party - Part 2. We hadn’t really thought that a stray band member might hear our music and stumble by to see where the familiar sounds were coming from. You can imagine the look on our faces when Bruce Dickinson poked his head into the door to check out the party!

After seeing our stocked cooler of beer and stack of albums to be autographed, he felt right at home. We were pretty pumped to have Bruce right there in our room, all to ourselves. The look of surprise when we whipped out our Sampson LP’s to get signed spoke volumes. He knew we were not novice fans and he seemed to enjoy the company (and brew). Bruce hung out and listened to tunes and drank beer with his new found friends for close to 2 hours. We really lucked out this night as Bruce was in a talkative mood and was so cool hanging out with us and we took advantage of the opportunity to get to know the new guy in the band. It was a great way to end our first trip to Cincinnati and then we were off to Detroit in the morning for our next adventures with Motörhead.

Later that year in July we planned another monster metal road trip to see more Maiden. By now, the band had moved up the bill and was sandwiched between Scorpions and another NWOBHM favorite of our's Girlschool. This leg of the tour hit Chicago and then moved 100 miles across the border into Wisconsin to play the Alpine Valley ski resort/amphitheater (made famous for ending Stevie Ray Vaughn’s life as his helicopter flew into the side of a ski hill in a bank of fog after a show 8 years later). Not to compare to Stevie’s misfortune but we also had a bunch of bad luck on this trip.

We would start off in Chicago at the Chicago Circle Pavilion (later Rosemont Horizon and now Allstate Arena) on a Friday night and drove up to Alpine Valley for a Saturday night show featuring another of our NWOBHM faves Saxon opening for Krokus and headliners Cheap Trick with a 4th of July spectacular repeating the Friday night Scorps / Maiden show.

This trip saw our buddy Natas left behind as we recruited friends Ken Dallas (Scorch) and Bob Monko for this adventure. Now, the interesting thing about our travel companions on this trip was that Scorch was on leave from the Navy and was due to report back that weekend. In other words, he went AWOL to go on this metal rendezvous! Not the smartest thing to do, but a testament to his dedication to the music that we all loved!

1982 Tour Program
[From the Umlaut Archives]

Things were dicey from the beginning with Polly’s brother Mike traveling down from Wisconsin to meet us for the show. This made 6 in our entourage, which was a tall order for any guest list-seekers. It was a struggle and most of us ended up buying tickets at the last minute causing us to miss a couple of Girlschool's songs. The rest of the show was a blast and was by far the biggest Maiden set we had witnessed thus far. More sound, lights, and stage props including much more Eddie, which the fans really ate up. The Scorpions left the crowd drained after a blistering set.

As we left the venue a light rain began to fall, which was an ominous sign of things to come. Wade made the decision that Bob and I should join Polly’s brother in his car for the trip to Alpine Valley. I was not really pleased by this but it was Wade’s car after all. Then when I saw the dude's beater of a car, I knew our fate had been sealed. Well, we decided to the make the most of it as we popped some beers and agreed to follow Wade to the Wisconsin venue. Of course, we had no map and only vague travel instructions but it’s okay, we will simply follow Wade. Anyone reading this who has been to Alpine Valley knows that it’s a bitch to find on a sunny afternoon (do you see where I’m going with this?). By now I’m comatose, as we’ve been drinking for several hours and was just looking forward to catching a few Z’s on the ride. There is a series of tollbooths between Chicago and Wisconsin along the toll way for those of you unfamiliar with the area. All of a sudden I was awakened by a large "bang" and as I looked out my passenger side window I was blinded by a police officer’s flashlight! I think he hit the side of the car with the flashlight to get the driver’s attention. “Pull over there-and everybody get out!!” the officer roared. Meanwhile, Wade and crew in the lead car had pulled over and waited on the shoulder of the highway after realizing they had lost us. The were oblivious to the predicament we found ourselves in back at the rainy toll crossing.

Meanwhile, I did what any half conscious underage punk would do: I rolled my half full beer under the seat creating a Busch beer river. Oops! That was not a great idea as the cop pointed out. We all piled out of the car on the side of the Illinois toll way as the rain intensity picked up.

"Where you boys headed??" asked cop.

(Of course, I’m now the spokesman since my partners in crime are having a hard time putting a sentence together.)

"Alpine Valley.." I confidently replied.

"Well you might not being going anywhere tonight, son. And you might be spending the night in the shit house if you don’t have bail money." the cop responded with as he stared me down.

My confidence took a hit in the nuts right about that time. Open container appeared to be the infraction at hand until the officer discovered none of us were 21 years old! Also, understand that Illinois is the most corrupt state in the Midwest. I was 2 months shy of my 21st birthday and the oldest in the car, so I would take the hit. The cop told me $50 was the fine and I should expect to receive a summons to appear in court later. I gave the cop the cash and off we went but with no paperwork in hand! I guess we actually had been lucky but I didn’t feel lucky as we realized we had lost Wade in the lead car in the rainy night.

It wasn’t until we exited the highway in Wisconsin did I realize our chariot's real deficiencies: poor headlights and bad wipers. And we had no directions to Alpine Valley! I knew what exit to take and that was about it. I had hoped that our driver Mike, being a Wisconsin native, would help us but he was from upstate and unfamiliar with this area. We stopped for directions at a couple of shit-kicker bars and the only other store we could find open, but it seemed like an eternity before we found the large gated entrance to Alpine Valley. Thank God!

We found our hotel and I couldn’t wait to hit that pillow. Thrilled to enter the lobby, we made our way to the check-in counter looking like we just swam from Chicago. "I need the room number for Wade Brooks.. Please!!" I demanded. Tired, wet, somewhere between drunk and hungover I was in no mood for anymore drama. "Well sir, we can’t give you another guest’s room number but we can call them for you." We got very suspicious looks from behind the counter as they were expecting a crazy weekend of sold out concerts and they knew what kind of people these shows drew into this quiet part of the country.

Wade finally answered the phone half asleep and warned us that we can’t come to the room because the front desk already knows they’ve already got a full room! He told us to go around the side of the hotel and he'd sneak us in that way. I listened to this and tried not to use any foul language as I digested what Wade was trying to say. At the same time I was trying to keep a poker face as the curious stares continued from the lovely staff.

I’ve been in better moods as we began to trudge through the rivers of rain water and mud making our way to the hotel's side entrances. Of course, it took 3 attempts before we found a familiar face ready to let us in. At last, I had a pillow to help relieve the pain! However, it might have been 5 minutes before we were startled by a banging at the door. "SECURITY!!" someone yells from the other side. The door opened, lights went on, bodies were everywhere. Quite a scene I’m sure. "Four guests is the maximum for this room!", the muscle headed security declared. Two volunteers left the room to go hide out for awhile, but I wasn’t going anywhere. They would have had to drag my ass away from that pillow! Unfortunately, we were now on the hotel security's radar for the rest of the weekend.

The rain finally stopped and the sun rose in the morning to end the nightmare experience of the hell ride from Chicago. I told the others about our journey as I explained how an Illinois police officer now had my share of hotel money. Oops. However, we could now relax and enjoy 2 nights of headbangin’ music and not have to leave the premises as the hotel was on the same grounds as the venue.

We met up with our mates from Saxon who still remembered us from our party with them back in St. Louis earlier that year. Guitarist Graham Oliver invited us back to his room to hang out for a while during the afternoon. One of the highlights of the weekend was driving around the beautiful resort while playing Graham the new Judas Priest album Screaming For Vengeance on Wade’s car stereo. Graham is one of the coolest guys in the business and hung out with us for the duration of the album.

Graham Oliver of Saxon at Alpine Valley

PAUSE STORY: While I was in the middle of writing this story, Wade made contact with Graham Oliver on Facebook. He remembers this weekend vividly and recalled we slid a note under his hotel room door with our room number so that we could make contact. AWESOME!!

Saxon went on to steal the show that night although Krokus was always entertaining as well. A full day of no drama and we actually got some sleep, which would come in handy later as you will see.

The next day turned out to be one of the most special shows that we would see Maiden perform that year. Being the 4th of July, plus this was the only outdoor venue we would see the band at on this tour, made this show unique. Ironically, we were celebrating our independence from the British tyrants while being entertained by 2 new British bands in Girlschool and Iron Maiden! Great atmosphere, great lineup once again, and Maiden was on top of their game for this show. I'm sure that any Cheeseheads in attendance who didn't know about Maiden already probably visited their local record stores after this show! The Scorpions again closed the show with a bang as the exhausted Metal throng filed out into the Wisconsin night. Great day, killer show, what could possibly go wrong now (I told you to stay tuned)?!

We got back to our overflowing room for one last party before hitting the road home the next morning. We just needed no drama and a few hours of shut-eye to cap off the weekend of madness.

For any non-believers of the next part of this story, the events were actually documented in an interview with the musician in question some years later in an international publication.

It wasn’t unusual to hear people running up and down the hallways during the night but what really annoyed us was when we heard people running on the roof of the hotel. We were getting pretty wasted by now and in fact were near the end of our party. After awhile we opened our sliding balcony door to see if we could figure out what buffoon would be stupid enough to be climbing on the roof of the hotel.

As we opened the balcony door we saw a white leather boot coming over the edge feeling for the balcony rail to balance himself before jumping onto our balcony! As we begin to reprimand this idiot, we were shocked when we realized it was none other than Rudolf Schenker of the Scorpions! Rudolf had a crazed look on his face like he had just seen a UFO (pun intended). As we attempted to compose ourselves, we realized that we had one of the biggest Rock Stars of the weekend in our room.

Trace's autographed copy of Lovedrive

However, before we could say anything, Rudolf bolted for the door and simultaneously we heard a bang at the door just as Rudolf attempted to make his getaway. Rudy opened the door and darted past the suits in the hallway just as they yelled “SECURITY!! EVERYBODY OUT!!" Oh no, not again! It was the same Security Guard who we had encountered on our first night and he was pissed off this time. Of course, they assumed we were the ones climbing on the roof as they had gotten several complaints from the adjacent rooms.

We attempted to reason and explain that it was a drunken, crazed, German guitarist and not us that was at fault. I wouldn’t have believed us either. By then it didn’t matter anyway, we were toast. We actually found another member of the Scorpions entourage who returned Rudy to the scene of the crime, but by now the Pope couldn’t have saved us. The next couple of hours were really ugly as we threw our stuff together and argued with the hotel front desk staff as we declared our innocence. Wade did most of the arguing since the rest of us retreated to the lobby attempting to ease the pain. This was not something you want to experience just as you are preparing to hit the sack after a long day of Metal and alcohol. Wade even remembers a futile attempt by us to crash in Iron Maiden's tour bus but manager Rod Smallwood would have none of it (can you blame him). "This is how this weekend is gonna end?!" I asked myself.

We finally ended up in our cars in the parking lot waiting for the sun to rise and tried to get some sleep in the July heat. We bid farewell to Polly’s brother (and his piece of shit car) and the remaining 5 of us piled into Wade’s Plymouth for the uncomfortable 7 hour ride home. Oh, there was one last task: We had to drop off Scorch at the Naval base in Chicago so that he could turn himself in after going AWOL for the weekend. I still remember the look on the military guards’ faces as this motley crew pulled up and an exhausted Scorch peeled himself out of the car to accept his punishment.

We would go on to see the great Iron Maiden three more times that summer. The same Scorpions bill later that month in St. Louis and Springfield, Illinois (I could never look at Rudolf Schenker the same after the Alpine Valley escapade). Once more in September in St. Louis opening for Judas Priest rounded out an incredible tour that we will remember forever.

July 9, 1982 - St. Louis, Missouri
Scorpions / Iron Maiden / Girlschool

July 31, 1982 - Springfield, Ilinois

September 14, 1982 - St. Louis, Missouri
Judas Priest / Iron Maiden

"I left alone, my mind was blank. I needed time to get the memories from my mind..."