He Who Cannot Be Named

Samhain/ Goatwhore / Kyng
The Warfield, San Francisco
September 20, 2014

Tonight was one of only 6 Samhain "reunion" shows scheduled for this year featuring 3/4 of the original band and the guy from Baroness filling in on guitar.  The week prior to the show I listened to Samhain again for the first time in awhile and I was surprised how Goth they sounded... something I guess I never thought about before.  Am I a poser or what?  Anyway, if only all shows were this easy:

This was the magical All Access wristband for Samhain in San Francisco... and then this happened:

Long story short:  Sitting on a dressing room couch next to Glenn as he told anecdotes about Misfits, Samhain, and Danzig Bay Area shows back in the old days was kinda surreal.  He also rattled off a couple of Cliff Burton and Jaymz Hetfield stories. Say what you will about Danzig, he was really cool and genuine to me.  I was surprised how much he remembered.. The Mabuhay.. The On Broadway.. The Stone..etc. He even mentioned the Mabuhay show later onstage.  Anyway...

I guess I should mention the support bands:  To be honest,  I've not listened to much if anything by Kyng but, because of my face time with the headliner, I only saw a sliver of their set as they played a cover of Van Halen's 'Hot For Teacher'.  The Umlaut Archives say that I've seen Goatwhore at least 10x now and if you've seen one of their Satanic sets you've seen them all... which isn't meant to be a negative... but maybe it comes off like it... so maybe it is..  Honesty is my only excuse.   Anyway...

Evidently there was a "no camera" policy in effect at the show but I wasn't aware of it until long after the show was over.  Oooops...

The view from the soundboard

The set was basically the Initium and November Coming Fire albums played in their entirety... which meant 'All Murder, All Guts, All Fun' and 'He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named' got the night's festive energy going early in the set as a result.  One thing that was obvious was how engaged Glenn was performing these songs compared to the most recent Danzig show I saw last year.  Samhain obviously still means alot to him and his demeanor onstage reflected that; he wasn't going through the motions.  

The first half of the show featured Initium with such "hits" as 'Horror Biz' and closing with 'Archangel' featuring Glenn on guitar. The second half of the night focused on November Coming Fire and was actually better.  Original members Steve Zing and London May traded places on bass and drums and it was interesting seeing the different energy each brought to those roles onstage.  London May had more of a swing to his drumming that kicked up the energy a notch more for those songs IMO.

During the set I wondered how many in attendance in the half full venue were there because they knew Samhain songs or because Glenn Danzig was performing.  You have to admit that Samhain is basically Glenn's deep cuts, right?  The night's final song was the Misfits 'Halloween II' which seemed to hit the "Hey! I know this song!" nerve with the majority of the half full venue.  Not that it mattered... I thought it was a solid set and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

It's a shame that Glenn has become the public figure that he is now here in the 21st Century; an easy target for ridicule and jokes.  The Misfits and the first couple of Danzig albums still completely hold up in my book... and Samhain is under appreciated.   Still... It's impossible not to laugh at Henry & Glenn Forever.

THANKS to Wedge for sorting me.  I didn't do a merch audit tonight..  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. All in all not bad for a Saturday night in San Francisco.

Home For The Holidaze

High On Fire / Goatwhore / Lo-Pan
Slim's, San Francisco
December 22, 2012

To paraphrase: "It was the last night of this tour before Christmas and all through the house..." It was kind of cool to have this bill in San Francisco on the weekend before Jesus' Birthday.  However, it started POURING rain as soon as I left Casa de Umlaut and Joey Acid King and I got drenched while waiting in the Will Call line.  Kudos to my trusty Alpha Industries flight jacket for once again proving that it is indeed waterproof.  Still, it felt like I had small puddles in my pockets for awhile.

Since I arrived late I only saw half a song of Lo-Pan's set.  Sorry, guys.  I guess it was too much to expect Goatwhore to wish the audience a Merry Christmas... According to the Umlaut Archives this was around the 10th time I've seen the boys from NoLa and I've run hot to lukewarm about them.  There's no doubt they're a Metal machine now but it was interesting watching them in front of a packed house of mostly High On Fire fans.  I was surprised that most of those in the house didn't seem to be familiar with Goatwhore.  The set was the standard Metal romp you've come to expect from Goatwhore with 'Apocalyptic Havoc' closing things out.  I drank 1 1/2 beers during their set.

Just over 6 months ago, Matt went into rehab 2 days after Sleep played the final show of their tour in Oakland and High On Fire also cancelled their Summer Tour.  Thankfully, from all reports, Matt has come out on the other side in a much better place. Having High On Fire back in action was one of the best things to end this year with... and seeing a 1/2 full beer cup being thrown up in the air from the crowd and the smell of doobage being lit up by the bar as they hit the stage was heartwarming... if somewhat inappropriate from a sobriety point of view.

Slim's had filled up to capacity as the stage was prepared for High On Fire.  Home cooking!  As decent as Goatwhore were, after High On Fire opened with the new song 'Serums Of Liao' and then dropped the double shot hammer of 'Frost Hammer' into '10,000 Years' it was game over and no contest. According to the Umlaut Archives this was around the 20th time I've seen HOF dating back to their first album and it was one of the most focused sets I've ever seen them deliver.  Given the recent uncertainty they experienced it was kind of emotional to see Matt, Des, and Jeff back together again on a hometown area stage and killing it.  Matt's new white guitar seemed like a symbol of this new phase... or maybe that was just me overthinking shit again.  Discuss amongst yourselves.

I didn't do a merch audit, but Goatwhore did have the best looking merch of the night... Although I would have spent my money on High On Fire if I had bought anything.. but I didn't.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags.  In the spirit of Jesus' Birthday it was nice to have a good number of friends in the house tonight including 2/3 of Acid King and that guy who sits at the back of the stage for Death Angel.  'Tis the season to be Metal... Also, I've been seeing shows at Slim's since it opened in 1988 and it's one of the only venues in San Francisco where you can still take show flyers off the walls:

No Veggie Option

Watain / Goatwhore / Black Anvil
DNA Lounge, San Francisco
November 17, 2010


It had been 19 days since my last gig, which I think is the longest break I’ve had all year between seeing bands. Those of you who know what I do to pay my mortgage know that even when I’m not seeing bands I’m still *around* bands… So, yeah, my life pretty much revolves around bands 24/7… for better or worse. I had been looking forward to this show ever since this tour was announced in the wake of the Behemoth / Watain tour being cancelled. However, I’ll just cut to the chase and say sometimes anticipation and reality don’t always live up to the hype in my head... but sometimes life is like that, man.

I *think* I saw a bit of Black Anvil's set back in March at the Scion Rock Fest in Ohio. I liked what their guitarist was doing tonight... but couldn't figure out if his sound was supposed to be that way or if it was because the sound mix was fucked up; I think it was probably a combination. I like Black Anvil’s New Yawk City take on “Black Metal”; Metal with a touch of Hardcore and they perform it well. Unfortunately, as much as I like the DNA, this was one of those DNA shows where the sound was not dialed in the way it should have been. Satan needs a new sound guy.

By my count this was Goatwhore's 5th or 6th Bay Area show on this album cycle; Umlaut always appreciates Road Dogs. However, while I respect their Road Dog ways this was one of the weakest Goatwhore sets I’ve seen. Maybe it was the smallish crowd during their set or their sound that was on the wrong side of shitty, but the set was simply routine to me. Gauntlet…fist… point… scream… guitar solo. Repeat. I hate to knock the boyz from N’awlins… but I’m not going to lie... I wasn't feeling 'em tonight. Gauntlet…fist… point… scream… guitar solo. Man, I would love an oyster po’boy right now.

Evidently Vancouver has been the only city so far on this tour that Watain has been allowed to use all of their stage props (pyro, a dozen or so rotting pigs heads, and pigs blood). I was hoping S.F. would live up to its liberal stereotype and be just as open minded as the Canadians... but, alas, the local health and fire codes reduced the Swedes to simply smearing pigs blood on themselves and their stage clothes. I guess having tofu impaled onstage would not have had the same effect as the pigs heads... and given the sanitized nature of the show it was funny to still see the stage monitors wrapped in plastic to protect them.

Come to think of it, I suppose it's probably not the healthiest thing to be in the front row for Watain and have pigs blood mixed with Swedish sweat splashed on you during a show... but Watain fans are certainly more hardcore than those pussies at a GWAR concert who simply get sprayed with colored water.

Watain annoints San Francisco with blood and sweat... literally.
(Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

Opening with the new song ‘Malfeitor’, Watain were still visually effective despite being denied their usual staging. The banners and metal tritons and upside down crosses set the tone even before the band came onstage... Although the tritons would have been more impressively Black Metal with pigs heads affixed to them. The initial attack provided by the band's Dean guitar endorsement was compelling at first... but I quickly started thinking again that Satan needs a new sound guy; the sound was muddy at best.

I've liked Watain's recorded works and their latest Lawless Darkness CD has been in heavy rotation for me since its release. However, as with other Black Metal bands in their class, Watain's live sound frustrates me. The genre’s elite tend to have thin guitar tones that are meant to blend with the rest of the band to create one engulfing Black Metal cloud. While this works in the studio, it generally means a shitty live sound in most cases (at least to my ears). The sound is like a carcass with no meat on the bone; there’s nothing to chew on. There's no TONE... Sinking your teeth into a mass of meat (or wheat gluton for my vegetarian / vegan friends) is infinitely more satisfying than gnawing on a bone… at least that’s the way I like it. That being said, Watain do legitimately fly the Black Metal flag under the stage lights... but some pyro and the stench and sight of animal carcasses onstage would have distracted me from the shitty sound.

(Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse)

Anyway, I wasn’t inspired by this show at all; I know, not very Metal of me. It was nice to get out on a Wednesday night… It was nice to see some bands… It was nice to see some friends… but it was one of those nights where the show didn’t live up to the hype in my head. It was the complete opposite of my recent Triptykon experience.

If you bought one of every Watain merch item you would have paid around $220. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. The next morning I saw Neal Schon's Porsche in the parking lot at work; I think it's safe to say Neal In The Sky has never played with a pig's head impaled onstage.

HAIL SEITAN!

Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from the night!

Plan B

Devildriver / Suffocation / Goatwhore
Slim's, San Francisco
January 8, 2010



I was supposed to be on a plane to London while this show raged, but the brutal winter weather forecast for Albion this weekend changed those travel plans... which fucked up Umlaut's Metal plans, but when the Rock Godz (and work) beckons you can't deny them. Anyway, this show ended up being my Plan B... and long story short I was on The List so off I went to Slim's for the first time this year / decade. According to the Umlaut Archives this was at least my 65th visit to Slim's dating back to when it opened in 1988.

I've become a legit Goatwhore fan since their metalmorphosis last year into a 21st Century version of Celtic Frost with the release of the Carving Out The Eyes Of God album. Unfortunately, the neighborhood volume restriction that Slim's operates under really hamstrings Metal shows they host most of the time. Goatwhore's volume should have had my clothes vibrating from the decibels, but instead I could have had a conversation while they played; it's not right! Evidence of how low the volume was can be heard in how relatively clean the audio is on Umlaut's video... usually the mic on my aging SD600 Point & Shoot screams in agony and can't handle concert decibels, but not last night:

'Carving Out The Eyes Of God'

Anyway, this was the 3rd time I've seen the boyz from NoLa on this tour... and their focused, 3rd-band-on-the-bill setlist was as tight as an unshucked Gulf oyster with the version of 'The All-Destroying' being particularly great tonight. The set was tighter than the last time they played S.F. 4 months ago and I appreciated how the set was weighted even more towards the new songs. It's too bad they had to close with the searing 'Apocalyptic Havoc' because a void was created when they left the stage after that. "Who needs a God, when you've got Satan.." Word.

Before Suffocation I wanted to see just what a "VIP" pass would do for me at Slim's tonight, so we went outside. We walked down the street and around the corner to the alley that runs behind Slim's. There was a security kid perched on a stool but he barely glanced at us as we marched past him, weaved our way past Goatwhore's gear as they did their load out, and returned inside via the back door. Note to Slim's: Tighten up that alley security! If I had been an Al-Qaeda "boxer or briefs" bomber you could have had problems, dudes. Anyway... my between set wanderlust was satisfied and we settled into another beer and Suffocation.

I can't say I've ever been a big Suffocation fan since they arrived in the wave of Metal that came along after my original stint in The Metal Army... That was when Umlaut was listening to music that dealt with subjects other than Satan, etc. (Hail Bob Dylan!); Suffocation are a band who I learned about after the fact... However, Umlaut is an Old Metal fart and it goes without saying that it warms when my heart when a band that's been around as long as Suffocation can still *bring it* live. Musicianship and attitude can't be taught, it has to be crafted over years, and the boyz from Long Island have done the work and paid their dues... and, to quote Photo Ray, they're like a poor man's Meshuggah, without all of the tech behind their blast beats. Although Frank's rant about guns could have been filled by another song... Sorry, just saying.. I would try to write some witty text here involving Long Island / New York slang... but I can't pull it off.. so insert your own. The most charming part of Suffocation's set was standing next to 1/2 of Machine Head as they geeked out over the performance. CUTE!

After Suffocation, we FINALLY met up with Wexford Girl and The Bassist.. and I joked that I wanted a cheeseburger. Fast forward a couple of songs into Devildriver's set and I turned to be greeted by this sight:


A CHEESEBURGER and FRIES delivered to me at stage left as the headliners roared onstage.. Not bad, right? Was it Poser for me to enjoy a cheeseburger and a beer while several hundred kidz got all sweaty and bruised in The Pit 20 feet in front of me on the other side of the barrier? Probably.. but I didn't give a fuck.

Devildriver weren't bad, but my appreciation of them is because Dez is such a charismatic, down to Earth front man. He's one of those old school style guys who understands how to connect with his audience without bullshit. Yeah, Devildriver's music treads a road that's been driven countless times by other bands, but 'Back With A Vengeance' is the best song Slipknot should have written; I think that's a compliment... sort of.. I guess. One thing that I was reminded about while watching Devildriver and their crowd was that every band is someone's favorite band, even when I'm a jaded "been there, done that" mofo. Respect.

I have to admit the best part of Devildriver's set was when Dez pointed at The Bassist and gave him a shout out... Stoners! Which led to an example of how to use an All Access laminate to your advantage: The Bassist made his way past security by flashing the plastic until he got to the backline and then he spiked the night's fun with a little crowd action of his own. Watch carefully or you'll miss his dive > mid air flip > dismount:


As a judge I would give it a 3.4 for style and a 4.1 for difficulty. Sorry, dude.

After the final song we wandered downstairs to the dressing rooms to squeeze out what little Rock Star action could be found... which was basically Umlaut being introduced to Terrance of Suffocation (Thanks Stacy!) and Matt Pike sans shirt.. but that's nothing new, right? This was followed by chatting with friends and new acquaintances at the bar before Last Call.. Then standing outside of Devildriver's bus waiting to be allowed on board to socialize.. but after about 15 minutes of standing on the cold sidewalk I got that "been here, done that" feeling and I said my good night. I mean, it wasn't the Metallica bus we were waiting for, right?

I know, there are some of you reading this saying "What the fuck?? This review is BULLSHIT!! He's barely writing about the bands!" All I can say is, I'm NOT a "journalist" and I write for myself and not you; I write for FUN. Oh, speaking of fun... THANKS to Hard Rock Chick for presenting me with this bit of San Francisco history at the show: A replica of a vintage S.F. brothel token! Slim's Palace at Slim's!


"Cold Beer - Hot Ladies - One Screw".. On the back it says "Good For All Night".. The "Good 'Ol Days" were so, like, METAL. History Geeks Rule!

I didn't do a merch audit... Although I should have since 1/4 of what was for sale affects Umlaut directly. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. So at this time next week Umlaut should be back in his beloved England.. but at the cost of missing some shows that might have been highlights of my 2010. Oh well, sometimes The Rock Godz ask you to make sacrifices and I must abide by their wishes; I can only trust that I will be rewarded later. Amen.

Routine Metal

Obituary / Goatwhore / Krisiun
Slim's, San Francisco
September 10, 2009



Prior to the show Timo and I made a pre-Metal Show stop at The Irish Bank, which was unusually crowded with suits and tourists for a weeknight due to the day's heatwave weather. It was a routine visit to Umlaut's favorite fish 'n chips establishment... so let's move on.

Krisiun obliterated Slim's back in March and it was cool to see more people waiting to see them this time around. Man, Krisiun are total Road Dogs and have been on tour around the world from Brazil to Russia practically non-stop since the release of their latest album Southern Storm last Summer... and it looks like they won't be stopping until Christmas Day when they play a show in their Brazilian homeland. The fact they've been on the road for over a year was evident in how tight the 3 brothers are onstage... but it was cool how humble they are when addressing the crowd before brutal versions of songs like 'Slaying Steel'. Everything I said about Krisiun in this space back in March still rang true... When you see these 3 brothers from Brazil onstage the sense that the band is their only option in life is palpable.. and that survival instinct translates into everything they do. Krisiun are the real fucking deal, man.


In between bands I tried to do an audit of the dude-to-chick ratio and I couldn't count more than 11 chicks before the houselights went down... which, if my math is correct, made the dude-to-chick ratio about 18-1. You gotta like them odds, right ladies?

Goatwhore hit the stage with 2 older songs and I had that feeling of deja vu when the band had underwhelmed me several times in the past. However, from the 3rd song on their set consisted of songs from their excellent latest album (Carving Out The Eyes Of God) and the difference between the old and new songs was obvious. When they launched into new songs such as 'Apocalyptic Havoc' it showed that the band's improved songwriting and execution as musicians (especially Sammy on guitar) has taken them to a whole other level over the past couple of years. At one point Ben told the crowd that it was O.K. to download their new album, but to at least buy some merch to help support the band. A sympathetic fan standing next to me responded with "I only download porn!" Metal.

Goatwhore had an impressive range of merch for sale... and my Inner Metalhead was very tempted to support the band... but I asked myself "Will I really wear a shirt that says "Goatwhore" that often?"... and unfortunately my Inner Old Fart said "Uhhh, no... no you won't.."... so no merch purchases for Umlaut.. although I probably could have worn the shirt that said "Stay Sick, Stay Fuck, Hail Satan" while doing yardwork. Regrets. Hope I die before I get old.


After Goatwhore's blistering set I could have bailed and returned to Casa de Umlaut, since I was only there to see the middle bands. Next up were Florida Death Metal legends Obituary, and I'm man enough to admit I've never been into them. However, I got caught up in the crowd's excitement over the headliner and liked their sludgy and humid guitar tone which came across as very Southern to my ears. Also, Obituary probably had the silliest (in a good way) Metal stage backdrop that I'll see this year. It featured the cover art from their latest album:


Dragon? Check. Dude in armor swinging a big ass sword? Check. Dragon blood splatters? Check. Bats? Check. I was into their set for the first 4 songs or so... and then it all started sounding the same... so Photo Ray, Timo, and I had one more beverage before calling it a night.

Kids who gave me props for my General Surgery shirt = 1. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. This was a very routine night for Umlaut.. everything was surgically precise and I had the Prius docked back at Casa de Umlaut by around 11:30PM... but Metal's not just a job, it's an adventure.. even the routine nights.

Posers Will Pay The Price

Goatwhore
Thee Parkside, San Francisco
July 14, 2009

I wasn't even gonna "review" this show because I was embarrassed... but I'm man enough to admit when I've fucked up.

Prior to the show, Wexford Girl and The Bassist met me at Taqueria Cancun for a pre-show meal.. Then we few, we happy few, made our way to Potrero Hill for the gig.

I've seen Goatwhore at least 3x in the past, most notably with Venom / High On Fire and then Celtic Frost / Sun O))) in 2006.. both times at The Fillmore. To be blunt, I wasn't impressed with them... so I basically went to this show just to hang with Wexford Girl and The Bassist. Seeing the bands kinda wasn't even on my agenda.

After Dååth played we checked out the merch table quite extensively ('cause it's what we do) and I got a copy of the new Goatwhore CD because I had been hearing good things about it... and despite my previous history with them I was willing to give the Louisiana boys another chance.. up to a point.

Long story short, Wexford Girl and I planted ourselves at a table on the outdoor patio and got immersed in talking about work while The Bassist kept it real and checked out the band. During Goatwhore, Wexford Girl and I talked, talked, talked, and talked shop and didn't make a move towards the sweat box indoor area and the stage. Actually, I think we thought about making the move once.. but didn't. I did think to myself that the band sounded pretty good.. at least from a distance... but we just kept talking talking talking talking.

After Goatwhore's set, The Bassist returned drenched in sweat and in a Metal euphoria from the set... which made me realize that I should have checked the band out... but... Wexford Girl and I had chosen to talk talk talk talk.

Anyway, fast forward: I got home and put the new Goatwhore CD on and... it's fucking GREAT. Goddammit... It's noticeably Venom / Celtic Frost-ish, but in a good way. Goddammit.. Posers like me will pay the price. Thank dog they're coming back to S.F. in September so that I may redeem myself in the eyes of Metal.

Rock Star Sighting: Matt of High On Fire. On the way back to the car, some-pimply faced teenagers called me a fag. I can't remember the last time I was such a Metal Poser... I'm so ashamed.

Live Like An Angel (Yawn Like A Devil)

Venom / High On Fire / Goatwhore
The Fillmore, San Francisco
August 27, 2006

A friend recently told me that she reads this space regularly, but usually not the "Metal stuff"… which means she actually doesn’t read this space very often (HA HA).

This was Venom's first visit to San Francisco in (DOH!) 21 YEARS (Hope I die before I get old!). Truth be told this was 1/3 of Venom since only Cronos remains from the original lineup. However, it was appropriate that this show was literally around the corner from where the 1985 show took place (For the S.F. Newbies: The Kabuki movie theater used to be a concert venue).. I even parked in the same parking garage that I did 21 years ago, but that was as far as the nostalgia went for me on this night.

(From the Umlaut Archives)

Of course, the irony about Venom is how The Kidz today consider them to be "legends", but the Old School knows what a big sham they were back in The Day. Yeah, yeah Umlaut ran out and bought Welcome To Hell and Black Metal when they first came out. Hell (pun intended) I even had the Venom Black Metal logo sewn on the back of my denim jacket circa 1985... and Hell (pun), Umlaut's Metal ‘zine from back in The Day is even pictured in the booklet of the recent Venom box set. However, all of that changed after I saw them live on their debut U.S. Tour. Click HERE to read about that debacle. So yeah, yeah Venom blah legendary blah blah.

Umlaut was expecting to have a routine night at home in front of the t.v., so THANKS to Todd for inviting me to be his All Access date for the gig. Also THANKS to Dema and Skychick for not being threatened by our strictly platonic male relationship.

During Goatwhore's set Todd and I sipped our drink tickets in the balcony like old men and tried to count the number of girls down on the main floor.. The count ended at 10 out of around 400 punters, which is probably a higher Chicks-To-Dudes ratio than in 1985.

Goatwhore is one hilarious (in a bad way) band name. They played a new song the singer introduced as 'Haunted Curse' and my inner English Lit Major thought "Isn't that the same thing??" It's sorta like calling a song 'Steel Metal'. Discuss amongst yourselves.

To keep myself amused, I sent text messages to Tour Manager Doug (TMD) and he responded all the way from Europe. I felt like CNN when I sent TMD a bulletin that Cronos had just brushed past me backstage. Technology Rules! Cronos was in full stage costume and his bald spot almost blinded me.

High On Fire were pretty darn molten; I’'ve seen ‘em too many times to remember, but I thought this set was really incendiary... and they didn’t even play ’'10,000 Years’'. I'm sure it was because they were jacked to be playing The Fillmore for the first time. Nicely done, lads. Horns, etc. etc.

Venom's opening salvo of ‘Black Metal’ > ‘Welcome To Hell’ > ‘Bloodlust’ > ‘In Nomine Satanas’ was entertaining, but I laughed out loud when Cronos said “"San Francisco! We FINALLY made it back!!"” Indeed, after 21 years Venom had finally made it back to S.F... but sadly a good bit of Cronos' hair hadn’'t.

Cronos (aka Conrad) still plays bass like a high school Lemmy wannabe, but it was hilarious watching him in between songs ("You are Venom's legions!", "This band will NEVER stop!!" etc. etc. etc.). The old songs all sounded a step slower than the original versions (I call that the "Lars Ulrich Syndrome") and his supporting cast didn't help things.

Guitarist Mykvs (aka Mike) introduced a song and he had, like, a TOTAL SoCal accent!! WTF?! NOT very Newcastle at all! I laughed out loud when Cronos shouted "MYKVS!" instead of "MANTAS!" at the start of 'Bloodlust'. Mykvs is Fake Mantas in the same way KISS have Fake Ace now; he looks and dresses like Mantas circa-1985 onstage down to the silly boots with chains. Oh, here's a direct quote from his page on the official Venom web site:

"PEAVEY: The Peavey 6505 is my amplifier of choice for the heaviest tones and reliability needed for the power of Venom."

Backstage I watched drummer Antton (who I believe is also Cronos' brother, the "out of the same womb" type..) warmup by sitting on a drum stool while holding his sticks in one hand and checking his cell phone messages with the other. Here's a direct quote from his page on the official Venom web site:

"HANSENFUTZ: I use these practice pedals to warm up before a show. They are light, strong and compact, and no hassle."

I had a total sense of deja vu as the houselights went down and the amped crowd began chanting "Venom! Venom!".... but just like in 1985, as the show progressed, the crowd's energy level got more and more tepid as the truth about how incredibly average Venom are onstage revealed itself. I was right there with them.

Venom played a new song called ‘Antichrist’ and I thought to myself "“Wait one darn minute... ‘'Antichrist’'??! SLAYER already did that!!"” Then I remembered that Slayer’'s song is ‘'THE Antichrist’'… Ahh, semantics. During the bloated epic that still is ‘'The 7 Gates Of Hell'’ I saw a kid down at the front yawn; I was right there with him.

It got to the point where The Pit was literally an open space on the floor with a lone sweaty XXL White Boy (and not even a jock... but a fat dork) walking around in a circle by himself shoving anyone who was near him... and no one challenged him. Finally, sweaty XXL White Boy just stopped walking. I was right there with him.

Now, I realize The Kidz in the crowd paid 30 bucks to be there and I skated in gratis via The List, but after an hour I'd had enough and I walked out during '‘Countess Bathory'’ and headed home. After 21 years it was reassuring that Venom still sucks and the legend of how much they sucked still rings true. On another note, I did begin the evening by entering The Fillmore via the backstage door, which I'’d never done before. Lock ‘'N Loll!

What time was dinner served?

Iron Maiden shirts seen = 1 (ONLY ONE!!). If you bought one of every Venom merch item you would have paid an astonishingly low $27!! Venom had only ONE t-shirt for sale and word backstage was they only had them in size Large, which was bad news for the numerous sweaty XXL White Boys in the house. On the way back to the car some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. All I gotta say in closing is "SLAYER!!".... just like I did in '85.

===
ADDENDUM

Sent by Old Metal Steven:

Before the VENOM show in '85 me, Brad and Quintana (Andy Anderson and other assorted punters were there too) went and saw the REALLY cool show that evening; Raw Power at the Mabuhay Gardens! Arguably the greatest 80's era Euro hardcore band.

We arrived to the Venom show late and feeling very punk-rock obnoxious. we proceeded to chant "We saw Raw Power, We saw Raw Power!..." throughout Venom's set along with other silly taunts. I remember other people actually spitting at them and Cronos threatening to bring the lighting rig down on everyone's head!

We just laughed even more...the back of my head appears in a photo of Raw Power (from same gig) on the back of their debut album Screams From the Gutter. Immortality!!

Raw Power still rocks, Venom still sucks (after 1983 anyway).