South Of Comic-Con

One thing led to another and Umlaut found himself in San Diego for a week working at the iconic global event known as San Diego Comic-Con.  From a nerd fan perspective it must seem like a magical celebration of science fiction, fantasy, horror, and entertainment (oh yeah... and comics).  However, if you're working Comic-Con it's mainly a shit show of long hours, hard work, and humanity on an insane scale in a confined space:

That was the human gridlock outside of our booth because of a Game Of Thrones thing that was literally 100 yards down the aisle.  Comic-Con in Umlaut's world is basically just like any other tradeshow (meetings with partners, customers, and industry friends) so it could be far worse.  At least it wasn't a plumbing tradeshow.  Anyway, the Rock Godz work in mysterious ways and, miraculously, two of my favorite bands had shows in San Diego while I was there... which went a very long way to keeping me sane outside of the work stuff.

SLAAAYEER
July 21, 2016
House Of Blues, San Diego, California

Slayer were participating in Comic-Con 2016 due to their comic collaboration with Dark Horse Comics with this show (I thought I heard $17 tickets were sold first to Comic-Con attendees) and a couple of autograph sessions at the convention.  Metal.. Pretty cool, right?

Upon arrival at the venue there was no Will Call drama, but I didn't have a pass.. Which wasn't that big of a deal since it was such a small venue.  However, one thing led to another and after a couple of text messages I found myself standing at stage right getting a bro hug from that old friend who I've known for over 30 years who now plays with Slayer at stage right.

"BEER"

I'll cut to the chase and say this was the best Slayer performance I've seen in recent years, certainly during the post-Hanneman era.  I would need to consult the Umlaut Archives, but I can't remember the last time I saw SLAAAYEER in such a small venue (1,000 capacity).  When I arrived the room was already packed, drunk, and the lack of ventilation made the floor slippery from the condensation and spilled beer.  Perfect.. and the setlist was a SOLID 18 songs.. All killer.  No filler. 

"TEA"

Also, the stripped down stage with no production outside of lighting jacked up the vintage atmosphere as well.  The songs and performance ruled on this night, with the band having a loose gunslinger quality onstage that fed profoundly off the drunk Thursday night crowd.  On top of that, Tom was downright chatty between songs.  Clearly, a happy Slayer is not a bad thing.. sometimes.

Adding to the old school vibe, a punter spit on Tom so he stopped the set to confront the asshole... which led to a guy down front getting beaten by dudes in the crowd and then dragged over the barrier to be tossed out.  Hopefully it was the right guy and not some innocent dude... SLAAAYEER!  The show was delayed another time because of the wave of drunken humanity coming over the barrier on the stage left side.   A SLAAAYEER show should not be any other way and it made my heart happy that it can still feel like a dangerous place.  The only Metal band that still matters?  On this night I would say YES.

Oh... and this is what happens when your old friend flicks his pick at you after his band played 'Angel Of Death':

Adorable, right?!

Seeing a show in a foreign city meant I had to "prove" my cred:  On my way out, some smart ass San Diego Metal guy noticed my Maiden - 'Number Of The Beast' tee and pointedly asked me "What's your favorite Maiden song!!?"  Without missing a beat I said "Prowler..." and kept walking and I heard him say to his buddies "I didn't expect that..."  Fuck you too, dude.

After the show I literally tried 3 times to get a Lyft and Uber ride to go meet up with my co-workers, but all of them failed.  I ended up going old school with a reliable cab and was informed Lyft and Uber drivers usually don't pick up from the House Of Blues after shows because they're afraid of trouble.  Noted.

A perfect night.

Then 24 hours later it was...

Boris / Earth
July 22, 2016
The Casbah, San Diego, California

According to the Umlaut Archives, I hadn't been inside The Casbah since 1994 when I was on a brief California tour with the Melvins and Acid King.  I realized I'm working for the right company when the common band between myself and 7 co-workers is Boris and we all geeked out that the band were playing while we were in San Diego.  The anticipation for the show made the pummeling work day at Comic-Con that much easier.

The Casbah felt like entering a time warp back to the early-90's, when venues like this ruled my world; it felt familiar.  Honesty is my only excuse and I have to admit I wasn't into Earth tonight... or at least my head wasn't into them.  I spent most of their set leaning against the FOH area waiting for the Japanese to come onstage. Sorry, Earth.. It wasn't you.. It was me.

Shortly before Boris started their set, a guy in a wheelchair made his way to the front and everyone let him through so he could be against the stage in front of Wata.  It was very cool and I ended up standing directly behind him with the the handlebars of his chair ending up on either side of me.. which ended up being both a blessing and a curse as the show progressed.

Tonight was the first show of U.S. Tour and for 90 minutes Boris leveled San Diego with their wall of volume and it was by far my favorite time seeing them.  On this tour the band is playing their seminal 2006 album 'Pink' in its entirety and the crowd's familiarity with the material gave the night an extra boost of energy. 

Phone pics by Joe and Brandon 

The crowd action got a little rough (I would say a 5 on a 10 scale) and it was a challenge a couple of times keeping the overzealous punters from crashing into my wheelchair-bound friend.  I ended up teaming up with the guy standing to my right and we did our best to run interference, which ended up being really cool in that unspoken concert brotherhood way.  We didn't say a word to each other all night, just helped out, and at the end of the set did the bro handshake and that was it.  It was an experience that inspired me to remember that seeing bands live is still my favorite thing... next to Giants baseball games of course.

However, seeing a show in a foreign city meant I had to "prove" my cred: I was wearing a Motörhead  - 'Iron Fist' tee and I know every other guy wearing a Motörhead tee thought I was a poser.  Fuck you too, dudes.

After working the combat zone that is Comic-Con, with another 2 1/2 days to go, Boris was the exact kind of head cleaning I needed.  Volume blasting the nerd slime from my brain.  A perfect night. Following the show my co-workers and I wandered around looking for late night food and found some shitty, over-priced pizza place that served its purpose.  We just had to ignore the nod time guy passed out in the booth next to us.  Lock 'N Loll.

Since I no longer work in merch, I didn't do a merch audit.  On the way back to the Bay Area, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag on the plane.  For the record, the "best" costume I saw at Comic-Con 2016 was an overweight Hispanic dude dressed as a Japanese anime girl.. complete with short skirt and ankle socks.  You can't unsee that level of wrong.

Back To The Future

Kirk Von Hammett's Fear FestEvil After Party
Exodus and Special Guests  
San Diego, California
July 25, 2014

One thing led to another and Umlaut found himself landing in San Diego on a warm Friday morning.  In less than an hour this happened:

Motörhead.. "Professional"..  

If you've never been to San Diego Comi-Con (SDCC) I won't mince words:  It's a massive clusterfuck.   WAY too many people jammed into a facility that is too small; a square peg of 150,000 people trying to fit into a round hole of a convention center.  I have no idea how members of the general public have a good time at this event.  On paper it looks like a mindblowing event.  However, when you're onsite and in the belly of the beast and see the humanity strewn around the center and the surrounding streets it literally looks like the zombie apocalypse. 

Anyway, after attending to some business and watching our favorite Lead Guitarist sign a couple hundred autographs at the Nuclear Blast booth, Photo Ray and I ended up at the fantastic brew pub called Monkey Paw; we ended up there more than once over the weekend. Umlaut cannot recommend the place enough; great beer and food, a nice space, and a great jukebox (Maiden.. Motörhead..etc.).  I wish San Francisco had more places like Monkey Paw.

Then in the early evening on this warm Friday night we found ourselves back in the Gaslight District hanging out in front of a dubious looking club called F6IX with members of Exodus shooting the shit for a bit.  Evidently the club had never hosted a live band before and a proper Lock 'N Loll PA system and extensions to the stage had been brought in.  The show was a Scion sponsored event with free admission to those who submitted an online RSVP.  I was expecting it to be sweat box packed and possibly not having a good time given the fact the space was not normally a live venue.  However, the Metal Godz work in mysterious ways and tonight ended up being amazing on several levels.

After getting something to eat I hung out with some friends at a bar next door and waited for the doors to open.  Upon entering the venue I was pleasantly surprised that (1) it wasn't a dive and (2) the space was comfortably filled with mostly Metal people and not industry types.  Also, luminaries like Kerry King were casually hanging out by the bar and talking with and posing for selfies with random Metal kidz.  Pretty cool.  One thing soon led to another and I found myself behind the VIP curtain at stage left.  I must give a shout out to the security guy who was watching the VIP area because he was cool to me all night.  Thanks, bro!

Exodus Catering

Holt Awaits:  Warming up playing along to 'Seek And Destroy' on the PA

Behind the curtain, the quality hang time sitting on a comfy couch with these old friends was something I hadn't expected.  I've known at least 5 of the people who were there since before any of us could buy alcohol legally.  The Metal Godz work in mysterious ways, man.

Not long after 10:00pm Exodus stomped onto the small stage and began their first North American show with Zetro back in the band on vocals.  The lads wasted no time and immediately opened with 'Bonded By Blood' and my head left my body for a good hour.  I'm sure it's because of all of the events over the past 3 years, but hearing 'Bonded By Blood' and watching Exodus perform it again is as close to a time machine as I think I'll ever experience.  It's very magical and after 'Scar Spangled Banner' they returned to the ancient Ruthie's Inn days with 'And Then There Were None'.  Seeing Exodus in a space that was around the same size as Ruthie's Inn only magnified the Metal.

It was pretty surreal seeing Zetro back with Exodus on a Friday night in San Diego at a Comi-Con event of all places.  No offense to Rob Dukes, but I'd forgotten how important the East Bay vibe was to Exodus and how it's been missing all these years. That 510 attitude and even the way you talk to a crowd. That vibe is back and it was awesome.  

The mid-set blast of 'A Lesson In Violence' and 'Blacklist' was made even better since I was standing next to one of my oldest friends who now happens to be Mrs. Gary Holt.  Full circle...  and then the moment I'd been waiting for happened.  Anticipation was thick in the air and I know many were wondering how the moment would go as Zetro reclaimed the Exodus song that is truly his:  'Toxic Waltz' was as violent as you could hope here in the 21st Century.  Back to the future, man.. Back to the future.  "You used to do The Monkey but now it's not cool!"

The set closed traditionally with 'Strike Of The Beast' and then the encore that followed was one for the ages:  Exodus were joined by Marc Osegueda of Death Angel and the host (KRK) jamming through nice covers of 'Grinder' by Priest... then into 'Low Rider' by War (!).. then into 'Godzilla' by B.O.C... then Rob of Metallica hopped onstage for 'Seek And Destroy'.  Crazy, man. 

 

 [All live photos courtesy of Photo Ray]

 
If this had been any other night things would have ended there... but KRK had other plans and the night continued to rage as Exodus left the stage and his Special Guests joined him to keep the party going. Admittedly, the guests seemed like a random collection of band guys, but once they were onstage and plugged in things fired off nicely.  There was Marc of Death Angel, KRK, Gary Holt, Robert Trujillo, the bass player guy from King's X (?), Steve Perkins from Jane's Addiction (?), and Richard Christy from Charred Walls Of The Damned (and of course Death.. and the Howard Stern Show).  It was a very loose set of cover songs that included 'Am I Evil', 'The Real Me' (The Who), 'Diary Of A Madman', 'Trapped Under Ice', and 'Purple Haze'.  However, the most unexpectedly great song from this portion of the night was a version of 'Mountain Song' with Osegueda making everyone forget who Perry Farrell is...  As I told Marc afterwards:  "You sang Diamond Head, The Who, Priest, AND Jane's Addiction tonight?!" to which he replied "Yes I did!"  After the dust had settled on the stage this happened:

Osegueda, Umlaut, KRK
[Photo courtesy of Photo Ray]

I was actually rather giddy from all the old school energy that had just enveloped San Diego.   I had nice post gig chats with Zetro, Trujillo, and KRK and then it was back out into the warm night in search of a late night snack.  Who would have guessed that one of the greatest Bay Area Metal shows in recent memory would happen in San Diego at Comi-Con!? AMAZING..

The next day included a field trip with two of my favorite photographers, a return to the madness of the Comi-Con convention site, and another excellent session at Monkey Paw.   This happened as well:

Evil vs. Good on the Streets of San Diego

I didn't do a Kirk Von Hammet merch audit.  On the way back to the Bay Area, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags.  We will see if I return to Comi-Con any time soon, but Exodus jumping into the DeLorean and going back to the future to get their groove back was better than any Sci-Fi, man.  Also, this was the most Comi-Con moment of the weekend:

My old friend Flipside Ted deciding his drink with D&D dice. The Geeks shall inherit The Earth.  THANKS to Lance Boom and Toby for getting me sorted for the weekend and to Slagel for the drink tickets.

Click HERE to see more of Photo Ray's epic shots from the night!

Body And Blood

Ghost
House Of Blues, San Diego, California
April 26, 2014

Ghost has been my favorite band for the past 2 years or so and sometimes the Rock Godz work in mysterious ways.  One thing led to another and I found myself in San Diego for the first time in several years and it wasn't for ComiCon!  I did not take this blessing lightly given the fact that Ghost are not visiting Northern California on this tour.

Before the show I had to wander over to the venue for a work related mission.  I must give a shout out to the pair of House Of Blues security guys (Terrance and another guy whose name I missed).  They went above and beyond assisting me despite the fact I didn't have the proper backstage pass yet.  The House Of Blues chain has a dubious reputation for being dogmatic with their "house" rules, but the attitude of these guys was very un-House Of Blues like... and for that I thank them and I hope this doesn't get them into trouble.   Long story short, a door was held open for me to enter and, among other things, I was able to witness tonight's ritual site being erected.

Exciting?  I guess so... but watching someone assemble a drum kit is about as exciting as watching someone put IKEA furniture together... but I admit I can be a jaded mofo.  Anyway, after doing what I needed to do for work it was off to a delightful pre-show dinner with great company.  Then we few, we happy few, made our way back over to the venue and up to the Will Call window.  If only all shows were this easy:

AccessAllAreas

It's been an interesting ride watching Ghost over the past 2 years as they've gained momentum and attracted a worldwide following.   The first time I saw them I knew this was going to happen and I still pity those who can't suspend their jaded attitude and simply have F-U-N with a band.  Ghost reminds me how fun it was to follow a band when I was a kid and also makes me realize I can be a kid about a band again even at my age.  A band who sing melody soaked songs about Satan and who aren't afraid to create an air of mystery around themselves despite the fact that the Internet prevents anything from being a secret.  The killjoys can find out what Papa's human form looks like... but who cares?   So many of the Metal heroes from my salad days are aging or passing away now.  It's nice to simply follow a band that rekindles that sense of escapism which attracted me to Metal bands in the first place; for an hour or two I can forget about real life.  Anyway...

After watching a song or so of the opening band I was summoned via text for an audience with Papa Emeritus II and the Ghouls.   While I had met Papa Emeritus I several times, tonight would be my first audience with his successor.   Our meeting was as intense and cerebral as you can imagine and included Papa's observations on Star Wars toys and other sobering and profound subjects of the day.  Papa Emeritus II is a worthy successor to Papa Emeritus I and I came away feeling inspired and even more motivated to evangelize on behalf of Ghost. They say a picture is worth a thousand words... so here are 3,000 words about my meeting:

 

The most profound moment came when Papa Emeritus II said "We have met before..." to my associate, who had only met Papa Emeritus I previously.  I took this as proof that part of Papa Emeritus I still lives on in the being that is Papa Emeritus II.  Discuss amongst yourselves.  Amen.  Alas, our audience with Papa and the band had to end as they needed to prepare for tonight's performance.  Papa graciously bid us adieu with a handshake and a hug as we left the dressing room just as 2 nuns were being ushered in... Hmmm.

Seeing Ghost again gave me the shot of adrenaline that I needed in my Music Geek brain.  They are the Satanic Beatles.  They are the most F-U-N band here in the 21st Century.  It was interesting seeing them in a city they were visiting for the first time in front of an audience who were mainly Ghost virgins.  I glanced around the crowd during every song to watch the awestruck excitement on the faces of San Diego as they fell under the spell of this band.

 [Photo courtesy of Cable Car]

For the geeks:  The setlist on this tour has been mixed up nicely compared to last year's run. 'Ritual' is placed in the all important 2nd song of the set slot.   For me, the 2nd song of a band's set can be the make or break part of a live set... It's when an audience's excitement is still riding on the high of the band coming onstage.  This is the point when a great live band should take their audience to another level with a roundhouse kick song... and that's what Ghost did.  'Ritual' has closed the set on past tours; having it early in the set blew the roof off things.  Magic.

This night in San Diego was my 8th Ghost ritual since their debut U.S. Tour.  The crowd was a mix of Metalheads and, for lack of a better term, normal people.  The pit was more like a fistfight than a proper pit and that was good.  There were a pair of grey-haired older gentlemen standing to my right who looked somewhat out of place.  However, they were completely engaged with the show and stayed for the entire duration.  Evil has no boundaries even with age.

As the night progressed it was filled with other memorable moments.  The pair of nuns who we had seen backstage came out during 'Body And Blood' to offer sips of sacramental wine to the front row from golden goblets during the song.  Papa noticed a child with his parents in the front and told the crowd to "Look after the little one..." and then later berated a crowd surfer for ignoring these instructions. The return of 'Here Comes The Sun' (The Beatles) to the setlist and the inclusion of 'If You Have Ghosts' (Roky Erickson) could not make it more obvious where the musical roots of Ghost lie.  The rapturous reception and response to 'Year Zero' was godlike and the crowd / band interaction during the show ending 'Monstrance Clock' mirrored that song's lyrics profoundly:

"To the sound of The End of Days.. Mesmerized the assembled sway.. Black candles burn all minds aligned.."

It was a perfect evening.

If you bought one of every Ghost merch item you would have paid around $500.  On the way back to San Francisco, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag.  Anyway, haters are still going to hate on Ghost but I still love everything about them.  Besides, how many bands quote Goethe on their day sheets here in the 21st Century:

Seasons In The Abyss

The lackluster sequel to South Of Heaven.

Yes, I attended the Comi-Con Geek Fest down in San Diego. Yes, I had a fun time. Yes, I'm glad I went. No, I'm not really motivated to write about it. Truth be told, my mood at Comi-Con was affected by the dark cloud that's been hanging over Casa de Umlaut all year and which is never far from my mind these days...

Anyway, for the newbies, Comi-Con is the largest annual gathering of Sci-Fi / Comic / Movie Geeks in the world; 100,000 people attended the 4-day event this year. One... hundred... thousand... people. Many... of... them... in.... costume.

I arrived the day before Comi-Con and I hit the ground.... uhhh... drinking. While walking around Mission Beach with Drunk Ted and Amy, some shirtless jocks saw my Motörhead shirt and one of them yelled "Motörhead is THE best band EVER!!" and pointed at me. I didn't know how to respond, so I simply raised my fist and said nothing. You know it's "over" when jocks like the same bands as you.

My introduction to Mission Beach was highlighted by an early dinner and beers at The Liars Club, which has a GREAT jukebox. I fed it money and punched up the likes of the Ramones, Replacements, Flamin' Groovies, Dead Boys, The Dragons, and The Germs among others. No bar in S.F. has a jukebox that good.

Later that night Drunk Ted took me to Livewire, where his buddies Rocket From The Crypt used to warm the barstools. Again, another excellent jukebox... and the bartender, after appreciating our selections, gave us money from the till to play some more tunes. Very cool of him! So we punched up the likes of Black Flag, Cheap Trick, Radio Birdman, The Bronx, Johnny Thunders, and the Supersuckers among others. No bar in S.F. has a jukebox that good.

To tell you the truth, although I'm still a Geek about some Sci-Fi / Pop Culture stuff, I'm more burned out on that crap than anything else these days. I do geek out over Lord Of The Rings and the new Battlestar Galactica, but I'm violently indifferent about Star Wars. I'm only slightly nostalgic about Star Trek, and I'm not really into comic books anymore. I also can't remember the last time I read a Sci-Fi or Swords 'n Sorcery novel. I know, I know... Hope I die before I get old... I blame George Lucas.

That being said, I DID have a good time before I reached overload with the nerds and dorks. Meeting Elvira (both with and without makeup) was very cool. The Battlestar Galactica panel was entertaining. Stalking Walter "Chekov" Koenig in the Exhibitors Hall was good sport. However, watching all of the fanboys taking pictures of the various booth girls (and girls in general) was creepy. Anyway, to make a long story short, here are my 3 favorite pics pulled from my trusty Canon SD600:


Glenn Danzig (aka Comic Book Guy). I dared Drunk Ted to ask him for his autograph and request that it be made out to his "Muuuthhhah!!"


Dorks Practicing. An Indiana Jones Dork with his whip. Jedi Dorks with their light sabers.


The Guy Who Played The Gorn in the Star Trek episode 'Arena'. "An incredible fortune in stones.. Yet I would trade them all for a hand phaser, or a good solid club..."

Thankfully the Rock Godz arranged things so that my Comi-Con trip had some much needed balance:

SLAYER
Sports Arena, San Diego, CA
August 20, 2006

This show was originally scheduled for June 6th ('06!) but was postponed due to Tom Araya's surgery (to implant more evil into his heart I think). The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways and the show was rescheduled to coincide with my visit to San Diego. METAL!

We geared up for the show in the bar of the Black Angus (METAL!) next door to the Sports Arena. Unfortunately, the bartender didn't know how to draw a proper pint of Guinness. I couldn't help but note that 28 of the 32 people in the bar were obvious Slayer fans.

The Sports Arena is so Old School I felt like I was in a time warp. From it's drab and dated interior, to the poor ventilation, to the pull-out side bleachers, to the lack of any luxury boxes.. It was like being in an arena circa 1979 again.

Trivia: Scenes from the movie Almost Famous were filmed in and around the arena, and Umlaut is a HUGE geek about that movie. I took pics of the backstage loading ramp that was featured in the movie. "Don't do drugs!"

The Men's Room was hardcore during Lamb Of God's set. A sink was COVERED in puke and the room was filled with smoke and the thick, acrid smell from a smoke bomb. I couldn't remember the last time I was at a show where a punter set off fireworks inside the venue. After we exited that little bit of Hell, Drunk Ted said "THAT was Old School!"

On the flipside, I've been seeing Slayer since 1983 and this was the first Slayer show I can remember where there was NO Slayer call-and-response in the parking lot or lobby! NONE. I was flabbergasted, and it wasn't for lack of trying on our part. As we walked up a crowded stairwell Drunk Ted yelled "SLAAYYAHHH!!!" and the only response came from ONE dude who responded with a lame "Yeeaaahh!"

WTF??!!

WRONG WRONG WRONG!! Note: When someone yells "SLAAYYAHHH!!!" at a show you, and everyone in the vicinity, are morally obligated to respond with "SLAAYYAHHH!!!" Also, DO NOT yell "Slayer" in a sentence at a show!! Do not attempt to say something like "Slayer fucking blah blah blah rules!!" and then expect a response from those around you. You're only identifying yourself as a poser worthy of having your ass kicked. K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid)!

Anyway, despite San Diego's lack of Slayer protocol, the crowd was still your typical Slayer crowd once the houselights went down. It was GREAT to see an old fashioned general admission Metal show in an arena again. It's been a very long time since I've seen steam coming off the crowd packed on the floor during a concert. The steam and the crowd looked medieval bathed in the blood red lights from the stage. Twas so Metal.

My inner Old Metalhead couldn't help but notice that at least 1/4 of the crowd was female (back in The Day it would have been 1% female). I suppose it was only a matter of time until a love song like 'Dead Skin Mask' would appeal to chicks. Awww, that's really sweet...

SLAYER RULES. Their backline featured two sets of 11 Marshall cabinets hanging from the ceiling on either side of the drum riser. The cabs were hung to form a pair of upside down crosses!!! Brilliant. NONE. NONE MORE METAL!!

The biggest "DOH" moment of the evening came when Tom Araya dedicated a song to the troops serving in Iraq. In a military town like San Diego you would think it would be 'War Ensemble'.. but, nope, he dedicated 'Mandatory Suicide' to them! Discuss amongst yourselves how that plays in Red States vs. Blue States.

During 'Chemical Warfare' there were no less than 5 pits going at once; a pentagram of Metal Mayhem! As always, the pit action during 'Seasons In The Abyss' was sublime; a ballet of sweat and bruises... and the unholy trinity of 'Hell Awaits' > 'Antichrist' >'Angel Of Death' as the encore was pretty gosh darn good. Gosh darn it!

If you bought one of every Slayer merch item you would have paid $586. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. The next day at Comi-Con, Slayer shirts ruled the school and clashed nicely with the dorks dressed as Star Wars Stormtroopers.

The most amazing event of my Comi-Con 2006 experience happened when fucking United Airlines cancelled my flight home at the last minute and rebooked me on a flight 6 hours later. Rather than spending all day trying to fly standby, I was unexpectedly able to return to the Con. Once there I had a COMPLETELY random meeting with Mary and Ted (yes, the "other" Ted) in the Exhibitors Hall! It was so completely random and unexpected that the odds of it still boggles my mind.

Captain's Log, Stardate 54666.5: I think Comi-Con can best be described in the words of Slayer: "Chaos rampant, an age of distrust. Confrontations, impulsive habitat... On and on, south of Heaven..."

The Geeks shall inherit The Earth, but Slayer will always rule.

Captain's Log, Supplemental: A HUGE THANKS to Drunk Ted and Amy for showing me a good time and for the hospitality! Drunk Ted and I have been friends since back in The Grunge Days and it's cool we're still friends in the 21st Century. For the newbies, click HERE and HERE for some Old School Drunk Ted moments. Grunge lives in our hearts... where no man has gone before.

20+ Years of February 1st

Tour Manager Doug ("TMD") and Umlaut have been friends since before the dawn of Christianity. He roams the Earth enabling Rock Stars to be Rock Stars. Umlaut lives vicariously through his Lock 'N Loll lifestyle and wants to write TMD's memoirs.

Submitted by TMD:

20+ YEARS ON TOUR ON FEBRUARY 1st:

21 years ago this past week we all saw Slayer open for Laaz Rockit at the Keystone Berkeley and then with Exodus at Ruthies' Inn and Wolfgang's.

• 2/1/83 - Living in Cloverdale, CA - Working at Shop n' Save.
• 2/1/84 - Slayer / Laaz Rockit was 4 days ago - This is where it all starts.
• 2/1/85 - Cotati, CA - Veteran's Building - Laaz Rockit +2
• 2/1/86 - San Diego, CA - Adams Ave Theater - Slayer / D.R.I. / Bloodcum / Legion / Rigor Mortis
• 2/1/87 - Saw Paul Dianno's Battlezone a couple of days ago at Jezebel's in Anaheim. Trevor and I singlehandedly kept the opening act from doing their encore.
• 2/1/88 - Off day in Charlotteville, VA on the Game Theory tour
• 2/1/89 - Windsor, Ontario - California Club - A Flock Of Seagulls
• 2/1/90 - Off day in Amsterdam with Mordred prior to the tour with Overkill .
• 2/1/91 - Vicious Rumours played the 'Real Rock' in Oakland last night.
• 2/1/92 - Chicago, IL - The Avalon - Savatage
• 2/1/93 - Portland, OR - Roseland - D.R.I. / ProPain
• 2/1/94 - Visiting the parents in Cloverdale.
• 2/1/95 - Columbus, OH - Alrosa Villa - Skrew / Spudmonsters / Overdose +1
• 2/1/96 - Springfield, IL - Convention Center - Mortal Kombat
• 2/1/97 - Home in N. Hollywood with the lovely wife prior to the Ben Folds Five European Tour.
• 2/1/98 - Home in N. Hollywood with the lovely wife prior to the Ben Folds Five U.S. Tour with Robbie Fulks.
• 2/1/99 - Home in N. Hollywood with the lovely wife prior to the Jude tour opening for Train and Better Than Ezra, BTE headlined.
• 2/1/00 - Home in the house I just bought with the lovely wife before going on tour with Stir.
• 2/1/01 - Home on a break during the Eve 6 tour.
• 2/1/02 - Home on a break during the first Ben Folds solo tour.
• 2/1/03 - Home on break during the Beck tour. Saw Stir a couple of nights ago.
• 2/1/04 - On vacation
• 2/1/05 - Off day in Dublin, Ireland on the Green Day tour. Going to dinner with friends.

10 years ago today I was in the club where the Pantera guy was killed. Looks like my timing was good.

"This is dedicated to a fine body of men...It's called 'We Are The Road Crew'..."

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ADDENDUM:

The world of Umlaut can be so small! Old Umlaut friend Drunk Ted was once part of the mighty Flipside magazine staff... In that magical year of 1986, Tour Manager Doug and Drunk Ted were in the same place.. and didn't even know it. Such is the Magic of METAL.

Submitted by Drunk Ted:

Holy crap! Doug was at the Slayer show at Adams Ave. on 2/1/86? I was there too!

VERY memorable show. Jeff's amp blew up during the 3rd song and so he took Tom's bass and finished the show with that. Didn't miss a note, either. That's pretty impressive! This was also the show where a kid (I can track him down too... met someone last year who knows him) jumped off the balcony and went THROUGH the stage. Slayer still mentions this in interviews (in Kerrang way back when, and as recently as the documentary on the DVD that came out last year).

I remember I was supposed to interview them for my radio show. Metal Blade set up the interview, but when we got there (drunk on stolen beer since we were under 21), Slayer knew nothing about it.

Before the show, I tried to get them to do the interview, but Tom wanted to drink and I wasn't old enough. He went into the Elbow Club (which is now the Ould Sod, an Irish Pub I frequent to this day. They have the Elbow Club sign on the inside of the pub now. I often think "Slayer drank here!" when I'm there looking at that sign.) and left me stranded. I was pretty freakin' drunk at this time too, so I don't know if they really wanted to be interviewed by some drunk kid.

I also helped Kerry (who I hear wasn't drinking in those days) load up his amps while trying to tell him about the interview I had set up. Didn't seem to want to do it. After the show, I was still bugging Kerry for an interview, as we were walking to the 7/11, and people kept screaming "SLAYER" to him. He would just respond with a "slayer" in a girly voice under his breath, mocking them.

As the night went on, Kerry finally said "Ok, I'll do the interview when I get back." and he went back into the club. By this time I had sobered up and said "Wait a minute, if it's this hard to get an interview out of them that was approved by Metal Blade, and they don't want to do it, why should I waste my time either?" So I left before he came out. That would've been my very first interview and had it bombed, in my insecurities back then, I probably would've given up interviewing bands. Instead, my first interview was with Dave Mustaine a month later, and it was AMAZING. He was so friggin' cool and I learned alot from it in regards to interviewing bands. Still one of the best interviews I ever had. It sparked a "career" where I've since interviewed about 75 bands, maybe more.

I'm sure me & Kerry could easily do a great interview now just talking about pro-wrestling!

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ADDENDUM 2:

Cue up either the Bob Seger or Metallica version of 'Turn The Page' and gasp in awe at Doug's All-Time Band / Gig List. He ran, he ran so far away. He just ran, he ran all night and day. He couldn't get away.

Submitted by TMD:

Doug On Tour (1984-Present)

Note: Ben Folds is on the list 3 different times, so he is WAY out in front. Yngwie opened for AC/DC on the 'Fly on the Wall' tour in 1985. So, I only missed 1, maybe 2, shows to do Slayer shows in NYC. This is when I was working for Boutwell.

# Of Shows Attended / Band:

363 Ben Folds Five
233 Warped Tour
171 D.R.I.
164 Cannibal Corpse
140 A Flock Of Seagulls
125 Rising Force (Featuring Yngwie Malmsteen)
116 Dirty Looks
105 Mortal Kombat
101 Eve 6
91 Vicious Rumors
87 Jude
82 Savatage
77 Slayer
72 Stir
68 ProPain
65 Samael
64 Beck
63 Train
61 AC/DC
54 Green Day
54 Exodus
53 Ben Folds Band
50 Ben Folds Solo

"There I go, turn the page..."