The End Of The Road

Warbringer / Lazarus A.D. / Landmine Marathon
Thee Parkside, San Francisco
November 7, 2011

It's not often that I've witnessed the first show of a tour and the last show of a tour... but that's what happened with the America Torn Asunder Tour featuring this packaged bill. A little over a month ago I attended the tour's first date down in Hollywood. The bands were all fresh faced, their merch bins full, and their equipment prepped and ready for over a month on the road. Now 38 days later the tour steamed into San Francisco for the 37th and final show of the trek. Damn, 37 shows in 38 days. I expected the bands to look pretty crispy when I saw them again… and they were… and some of their equipment was no longer alive.. but their merch bins were almost empty… which is a good thing.

Thee Parkside is a special venue for Umlaut when it comes to my kindred spirit band Landmine Marathon because it's where I was first exposed to their blow torch ways onstage. Fast forward over 2 years and 12 shows later and it was cool to see Landmine within these familiar confines again. Tonight would be my lucky 13th time seeing the band. Landmine were welcomed back to San Francisco with the traditional box of Mission burritos that touring bands have coveted since time immemorial.

As Ryan Landmine and I went to the Prius that was parked on a dark side street to retrieve the foil wrapped jewels it felt like I was making a drug delivery to the band. For those who care, Landmine's burrito setlist was:

• 1 bean rice and cheese
• 1 chicken burrito with lettuce pico sour cream, etc
• 1 bean rice cheese lettuce tomato/pico
• 3 bean rice pico guacamole no cheese
• Hot sauce on the side

METAL.. Don't worry, the box was made from free range cardboard.

Truth be told, this was more of a hang out session than a gig… I was only there to see Landmine and the night took an unexpectedly old school social turn when I discovered that Rafa Black Cobra and Gary Holt and his entourage were in the house. Gary was literally just off the plane back from Austin where he had sat in with Slayer again at the final show of their World Painted Blood Tour. Much old school conversation ensued and I decided that Gary needs a History Channel show called You Weren't There where he will debunk all the myths about The Old Metal Days.

"Thrash started on the East Coast?! Bullshit.. You weren't there!!"

Landmine Marathon killed it. Tonight was the 13th time I've seen Landmine and they were firing on all cylinders from the opening notes of 'Three Snake Leaves'. The first night of the tour 38 days earlier had been somewhat shaky, but tonight the grueling 912 hours that had passed since that first show detonated for this last show. It was one of the most focused sets I’ve seen Landmine play... No bullshit... 7 songs… 40 minutes.. blow torch volume… decent crowd action.. Thank you, g’night! While I missed hearing some of the old set list standards, the 3 news songs were confidently brutal and felt broken in from the month of working them out on the road. I've said it before: Great band... great people... and Gary Holt even liked them. So there you go...

(Photo courtesy of Photo Ray)

Sorry, I don’t like Lazarus A.D... so the outdoor patio of Thee Parkside was a welcome refuge as they entertained the crowd inside. I don’t mind Warbringer; they seem like good dudes and they’re definitely Road Dogs when it comes to touring. I had heard they added a cover of Motӧrhead’s ‘We Are The Road Crew’ to their set since the opening night of the tour. When they started into that classic I went in to watch some of their set from that point. Again, Warbringer are a good band but it's just that I've seen it before... in 1983. Honesty is my only excuse.

If you bought one of every Landmine Marathon merch item you would have spent around $95. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. The burrito drop was handled the old fashioned way: Via the barter system.. will delivery burritos for t-shirts and vinyl.


Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from the night!

Street Of Metal

Warbringer / Lazarus A.D. / Landmine Marathon
The Key Club, Hollywood, California
October 3, 2011


As fate would have it I was in Hollywood for some work business on the same day as Sunset Boulevard was invaded by this Metal package tour. Prior to showtime Umlaut was able to have a summit meeting with a friend who used to live in S.F.; it was almost like the "old days" at Thee Parkside and DNA Lounge again. Then we few, we happy few, made our way to Sunset Boulevard and The Key Club.

Tonight was the first date of this 31-date package tour that ends on November 7th in San Francisco. The pre-show activities included witnessing an encounter between my friend and the gross lecherous father / manager of the local support band in front of the venue. I imaged the guy had prowled Sunset Boulevard back in the 80’s when he was maybe 50 pounds lighter and had hair. I’m sure it was hard for 80’s Hair Metal guys to age… Bummer, dude. No more Cherry Pie for you.

It had been 10 months since I last saw my kindred spirit band friends Landmine Marathon. Their new album (Gallows on Prosthetic Records) really captures the live fury of the current lineup and it's their best since 2006's Wounded IMO. Landmine are rooted in the Hardcore Punk scene and I wondered how they would fare on this bill featuring two bands from the current retro Metal thing. I was also reminded how problem-ridden the first night of a tour can be and the band’s 40 minute performance was somewhat affected by these distractions. This included the house monitor guy rudely walking onstage in the middle of the set to switch out Grace’s mic even though there didn’t seem to be any problem with the one she was using.

Despite the bumps, the setlist was a good mix of songs with 3 off the new album; opening with ‘Three Snake Leaves’ and closing with the old standard ‘Red Days’. It was also good to see Landmine fill a big stage again since the last time I'd seen them in a "major" venue was at Scion Rock Fest 2010 in Ohio over a year and a half ago. Since I had missed Landmine's last visit to San Francisco back in August, it's always a win-win when I can see and hang out with one of my favorite bands.. even on a less than perfect night.

The Key Club is one of those soulless venues whose interior looks more like a bad suburban strip club than a concert venue. However, one advantage of seeing a show there is that the legendary Rainbow is only a half a block away. It’s so easy to escape The Key Club and go to The Rainbow for a drink and hang out in between bands... which we did... twice. Unfortunately, Lemmy was not in the house tonight.

I’ve probably seen Lazarus A.D. before but they annoyed me a whole lot tonight. Lazarus A.D. are from Wisconsin (dontcha know..) and their choreographed headbanging (which included the drummer!) made me laugh out loud. It really did… which is a shame because the Midwestern kids have decent chops on their respective instruments. Still, it’s a fine line between being Metal and being silly looking. I also couldn't help wondering what hair products the band uses on the road to give it that silky smooth sheen.

Warbringer means well and I think their Metal heart is in the right place. It was cute how the band members lined up at the front of the stage during songs and their shirts looked like a page from the Rockabilia catalog: Discharge (guitar), Bathory (vocals), Carnivore (bass). Left out of the mix was the 2nd guitarist at stage left; he looked out of place with his short hair and non-band plain black tee. Note to 2nd guitarist: Grow out your hair and stop at Hot Topic and buy a Slayer shirt to wear onstage so you look like you belong at the party, ‘kay? The singer is also one of those vocalists who talks in a growling “Metal“ voice. It was cute how he sometimes slipped out of character and used his “normal” voice. Dude, if you just use your normal voice when talking to an audience it will make it easier for everyone.. Just saying. Still, I don’t want to bag on Warbringer too much because, out of all the current retro Metal bands going today, I do think they are one of the better ones. It's just that I've seen it before... in 1983.

All in all, my night on Sunset Boulevard was more about seeing friends and band friends than anything else. Thanks to Matt Landmine for letting me say I was in the band to the venue staff so we could get food inside the venue before the doors opened... 'cause food is where it's at..

I didn’t do a merch audit… but I did finally have a burger from Grill ‘Em All (a "Waste 'Em All" burger) and it was awesome. On the way back to The Bay Area, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. The next morning I flew back home and went straight into the office and put in a full 8 hours. No Sleep 'Til Casa de Umlaut.

Overkill... Literally..

Overkill / Vader / God Dethroned / Warbringer / Evile
The Regency, San Francisco
April 18, 2010


This was a weird concert lineup for Umlaut. Although the headliner is from *my* generation of Metal, I can't say that I've ever been a fan of Overkill. Full disclosure: When Overkill were starting up my head was starting to get out of Metal. Sad but true, but that's what happened to Umlaut. For around a 5 year period I turned my back on Metal and listened to alot of other Music. Of course, those years made Umlaut a MUCH more educated Music Geek; I can quote Bob Dylan AND Slayer lyrics at the drop of a hat equally well. However, once my Music Geek education was advanced enough, The Rock Godz led me back to METAL, but that's a story for another time. So, in hindsight, I have no regrets that I didn't see Overkill at The Stone in 1986 or whenever.

This was also one of those Metal package tours that are the industry standard now.. Which generally means too many bands playing sets that are too short. Tonight it was 5 bands with the first 4 allotted a paltry 30 minutes onstage while the headliner got 90 minutes. I know it's about economics, but I miss having 3 quality bands on a bill playing decent sets versus the talent show / battle of the bands lineups. Another thing these package tours take away is the Music Geek tradition of geeking out over the bands' equipment as they switch over between sets since everyone (except the headliner) uses the same backline. Although Umlaut friend Dave and I managed to make the best of it (noting the pentagram grill on the Peavey cabinets, etc. etc.) I had to be the buzz kill and tell him that ALL the support bands were using the same backline. Sorry, Dave. Anyway..........

Evile (England): To be honest, I don't know much about Evile other than their debut album was produced by Flemming Rasmussen and their bassist had passed away suddenly 6 months ago. They play solid retro Thrash Metal, but to be honest after 3 songs I was done and went to the lobby for a beer and meet up with some friends. For the newbies: You will find that Umlaut can be a very jaded Metalhead and I won't sugar coat that; sometimes I'm just not into watching a band after a certain point. It doesn't mean I think the band sucks (and I'd say so if I did), it's just how I keep my sanity by not forcing myself to watch something that I'm not engaged in. Sorry Evile, just being honest.

Warbringer (Southern California): Ironically, Warbringer were the band I wanted to see the most on the bill. Umlaut isn't really into Thrash Metal anymore (I'm more of a Doom / Death guy now..) because it sounds dated to me most of the time; it makes jaded Umlaut say "been there, done that". I have a hard time getting into the new bands who are recreating that sound, but Warbringer and a couple of other new bands (specifically 3 Inches Of Blood) do the retro thing well and I do dig them. Umlaut has listened to the their latest Waking Into Nightmares CD quite a bit and I keep hearing Death Angel in it, which is a good thing of course. Before Warbringer came out they inexplicably played 'Maggie's Farm' by Bob Fuckin' Dylan over the PA... Come on! Throw the horns with me! Anyway, Warbringer brought a strong set and the band has obviously watched all the right old Metal videos which translates into how they work a stage. At first I was getting annoyed by John's front man posing and the fact drummer Nic was using a click track via headphones to keep time... but I reminded myself these were just kidz onstage and I was watching them through jaded Umlaut eyes. Once I made that attitude adjustment it was all good. 'Prey For Death' absolutely killed live and at the end of their set, guitarist John jumped down into the photo pit to rage with the front row and vocalist John dove into the crowd:

Nicely done, lads. OH! During Warbringer's set a pair of skinny, probably 14-year old boys were standing next to me at the edge of The Pit gawking at the crowd action. One of them wanted to join The Pit so bad but he couldn't get his timing right to join in the mosh. Kid, you can't "wait" for The Pit to let you in! You just have to fucking GO!! At one point he turned to his buddy and I could see he was frustrated, but his buddy was a pussy and wasn't going to join him. When the kid turned back towards The Pit a 200 pound dude slammed into him. CUTE! Poor kid... don't take drugs.

God Dethroned (Holland): I was hanging in the lobby with friends when the Dutch took the stage.. They had already played a song and I was about to head back in to watch them when Photo Ray returned from the photo pit and said "One of the dudes is wearing a polo shirt..." That was reason enough for Umlaut to stay in the lobby with a beer and his friends. Sorry God Dethroned. One of the things Umlaut can't abide is a Metal band wearing polo shirts onstage.

Vader (Poland): As much as I like Vader, I've always been dubious about a band naming themselves after a Star Wars character, especially such an obvious one. Maybe Sarlaac was already taken?? However, I cut Vader slack because they have delivered the appropriate darkness that behooves that name. The Poles took the stage and their Eastern European Death Metal was EXACTLY what I wanted here in the 21st Century. Vader's most recent album Necropolis was in rotation on Umlaut's playlist after its release last Summer. Vader reminded me why, despite my wider Music Geek base, I will ultimately always bleed Metal. Dense and bludgeoning riffs speak straight to my soul. Vader are one of those bands who have been around so long that, aside from Peter, they've had too many members for Umlaut to keep track of and I'm not even going to try at this point. Anyway, with Peter leading the band as always, I think the lead guitarist on this tour is a dude named Marco and he brought the volume in a very workmanlike way. It was also nice to see the drummer (who I assume was Paul) bringing the thunder without the use of a click track like the youngster in Warbringer. During their set security shut a guy down for lighting up a bowl down front... and THEN THEY KICKED HIM OUT!!? WTF Regency Security!? I thought this was San Franfuckincisco!?? Way to harsh The Metal, man. We're NOT fuckin' Hippies! Anyway, despite the buzz kill, Vader owned the stage and wiped the floor with the rest of the bill. How do you say "buzz kill" in Polish?

Overkill (New Jersey): As I said earlier, by the time Overkill were hitting The Metal Scene in the mid-80's I was just starting my hiatus from Metal and was more likely to be found at a Jesus & Mary Chain show. Before they came on, Umlaut was back in the lobby when Dave came up and said "You gotta see this...." We followed him back into the venue and The Jersey Boyz had a rather silly stage that was a bit much for The Regency: ramps, stairs, strobe towers. I don't mean to be a dick because I understand this is the band's 25th Anniversary Tour, but if you took away some of props you might have been able to knock a couple of bucks off the ticket price and gotten a bigger crowd in the house. Just saying. Anyway, when the lights went down and the smoke machine kicked in it was the 80's all over again. The veteran band did sound and perform good... but I have to be honest and say vintage Thrash Metal sounds so dated to Umlaut and, in all honesty, it makes me feel old. It really does. Aside from a couple of key Thrash albums from that era, I feel no nostalgia for it...


Anyway, after 4 songs I headed out the door and back into the 21st Century. Evidently the final song of Overkill's set was.... their cover of.... 'Overkill' by Motörhead. Cheeky.

Over the past month, the Metal shows on Umlaut's calendar have featured some pretty great hang sessions with friends. In the past Umlaut has been more surgically precise with shows and the social aspect has been minimal. This evening turned out to be ALOT more fun than I thought it was going to be because it was a perfect balance of a couple of bands who I genuinely like and having members of the Umlaut Nation in the house to shoot the shit with... So a quick shout out to Timo, Dave, Photo Ray, Nikki Blakk, Sven, HRC, Taylor, and Alan.

Warbringer had 4 shirts for sale but only had them in size SMALL... Ooops. (Merch 101: Metal bands should ALWAYS have plenty of size XL in stock... 'cause alot of BIG BOYZ listen to Metal..). If you bought one of every Overkill merch item you would have paid $253 and if you bought one of every Vader merch item you would have paid $105. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. The next morning Alan told me that Jeff Walker of Carcass had been at the show! WTF!? He was stranded in the U.S. after his brief tour with Brujeria because of the Icelandic volcano eruption. That whole volcano thing is pretty METAL, right?