Auld Lang Syne

Sorry, guys... but December 2013 was my "lost" month as far as this blog goes.  For various reasons I didn't post show rants... but for the record these were the shows I attended:

12/11 - High On Fire / Kvelertak / Windhand - The Regency, San Francisco
12/11 - Fates Warning - DNA Lounge, San Francisco
12/18 - Megadeth - The Warfield, San Francisco
12/27 - The Oath - The Garage, London, England

Yeah, I've been sort of busy and distracted... blah blah blah.  In short:

• Windhand were great even if they channel Acid King a good bit IMO.  Kvelertak were awesome as usual (one of my fave live bands) and High On Fire were more thunderous than ever but I think I've seen them too many times and need a break, 
• Fates Warning was a nice face time reunion with old friend bassist Joey Vera (Armored Saint) and although I don't know anything about Fates Warning (aka I'm a poser) their Prog Metal was really good.
• Yes, 12/11 was a doubleheader night for Umlaut.  The last one was back in April 2012.
• Megadeth was another nice face time reunion with old friends Mr. Mustaine and Mr. Ellefson.  The band played basically the same set as I saw in September with Iron Maiden.
• The Oath were a nice cherry on the top of a great return Christmas visit to my spiritual home city of London (according to my passports it was my 15th visit to the birthplace of NWOBHM since 1995.. crazy how time flies..).  The Oath recently supported Ghost in Germany.  I'm glad I saw the band before their debut album, which is due out later this year on Rise Above Records.

This new year of 2014 marks the 10th Anniversary (TEN... YEARS) of this blog / rant space and at the moment I'm burned out on it.  Honesty is my only excuse.  We'll see if I can get inspired again in the near future.. Fingers crossed.  TEN.. YEARS.  Anyway, Umlaut's 2013 ended with..

Melvins / Redd Kross / Frightwig
Great American Music Hall, San Francisco
New Year's Eve 2013

This was a very special bill for Umlaut because the Melvins and Redd Kross were THE two bands I gravitated to the most after I fell out of love with Metal in the mid to late 80's.   These bands specifically helped me to regain an innocent love of bands and music again. I had burned out on Metal and was disillusioned as "my" bands (specifically Metallica) had suddenly become popular with the types of people (specifically jocks) who had previously belittled and marginalized me.  These were the types of people who had made me feel isolated in the world... and music became my best friend... and via this music I suddenly found kindred souls who became my friends.  Then that scene was "gone" in my eyes... and again I felt isolated... but thankfully I was introduced to bands like the Melvins and Redd Kross by roommates and friends and I became obsessed with bands all over again... for the first time.  The Melvins and Redd Kross are as sacred to me as Mercyful Fate and Motörhead; they represent another phase in my life.  Anyway...

Prior to the show I met friends, some of whom I've known for 20 years, for a nice pre-show Thai dinner at Lers Ros Thai... and then we few, we happy few, waded through the human detritus of The Tenderloin and around the corner to the venue.  Sadly, while we were having dinner a 6-year old girl was killed and her mom and younger brother critically injured by an SUV as they crossed the street just around the corner from us.  Awful.

I only watched Frightwig for a couple of songs before going downstairs to say "Hi" to the headliners. Frightwig had Eric Drew Feldman (Captain Beefheart, PJ Harvey) playing keyboards!?  Interesting.

According to the Umlaut Archives this was around the 10th time I've seen Redd Kross. They played the perfect setlist that had a song or so from their latest album Researching The Blues and a slew of their most beloved songs like 'Annie's Gone', 'I Hate My School', 'Frosted Flake', 'Pretty Please Me', and 'Jimmy's Fantasy'. When they careened into 'Annie's Gone' I had a profound sense of deja vu back to my late 80's days in San Jose when I was first introduced to Redd Kross by an old roommate in a house we rented on 3rd Street.  Good times.. ain't we lucky we got 'em.  Things came full circle 20 years after the fact when they brought Frightwig onstage to perform 'Crazy World' with them; Redd Kross covered the song back in 1993.   They then closed with a roaring version of 'Deuce' complete with Jeff / Steve recreating the Gene / Ace stage moves just like the old days.

According to the Umlaut Archives this was around the 37th time I've seen the Melvins. Tonight it was the bedrock Melvins / Big Business version of the band performing.  I absolutely love how the Melvins (aka Buzz and Dale) have 2 or 3 different versions of the band that tour and record now; eclectic versatility that keeps their output and performances interesting.  The Melvins (aka Buzz and Dale) have found a way to adapt and change; they are like the cockroach.

Instead of taking to the stage in 2013 and then stopping their set for the obligatory midnight countdown, the Melvins waited until the stroke of midnight and walked onstage in 2014. They were accompanied by a vintage recording of 'Auld Lang Syne' that segued into a loop of the coughing intro from Sabbath's 'Sweet Leaf' as the obligatory balloons fell from the ceiling. Perfect!

I thought it was a nice touch for them to open with the crushing epic 'Hag Me' since 2013 had marked the 20th Anniversary (!!) of the Houdini album.. and 75 minutes or so later the show ended with 'Hung Bunny' / 'Roman Dog Bird' from the Lysol record.  In between those vintage bookends the 4 Horsemen of the Rockalypse played their usual enchanting mix of newer songs (like 'A Growing Disgust'.. 'City Dump'..) as well as more ancient songs that old fans like Umlaut still geek out over (like 'Sweet Willy Rollbar'... 'Your Blessened'..).  The cadence call and response classic that is 'The Water Glass' was a perfect New Year's song. 

As I've probably said before in this space, at this point in my life a Melvins show in San Francisco is as much of a reunion as a concert.  There are at least a couple of old friends from back in The Day who I only see at their shows now... and after being around the band for 20+ years it's nice just to be able to casually chat with the Melvins (aka Buzz and Dale) about different shit now.  It's not like that with some other bands who I've know for that long or even longer.  Anyway...

Footnote:  I can't remember the last time I didn't drink alcohol at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve.  It wasn't by choice but because I didn't want to lose my cushy stage right spot and deal with the bar.  Priorities for 2014 have now been set.

I didn't do a merch audit.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags.  Then 48 hours later, one thing led to another, and I was at a San Jose Sharks game with this perspective:

[Pic courtesy of Old Man Moss]

Then this happened:

[Video courtesy of Umlaut's iPhone]

'Honeybucket' on Ice!  The song was selected by Sharks #22 Dan Boyle who is a big Melvins fan.  Pretty cool, right?   Also a damn fine way to start the New Year which, as I said at the start of this, is the 10th year of me doing this "blog".   Let's see what happens... THANKS for the support.

Mega Thanksgiving

AWWW! Dave Mustaine gave me a shout out in one of his Thanksgiving tweets:

Warm Thrash Metal fuzzies..  I listened to the Rust In Peace album after seeing this.  True.

Born To Lose - Live To Win

The great new Motörhead album Aftershock arrived in my mailbox today.. and this is album #3 by Lemmy, Phil, and Mikkey with this in the liner notes:

 

If you had told me when I was a teenager this would happen I would have thought you were insane...

"They might try and fence you in.. but you've only gotta Live To Win."

I'm Ready For My Closeup - Part 2

The exciting continuation of The 3D Horsemen,  Through The Never, and I'm Ready For My Closeup!  In this episode Big Mick, Goat Boy, and an Asian talk about The Old Days..


I also manage to perpetuate the myth that Lars Ulrich's AMC Pacer could actually tow things.  It could not... but it makes for a good story.  In all seriousness, being involved with this is pretty surreal for me.  If you had told me 30 years ago... etc. etc..

I'm Ready For My Closeup

The exciting continuation of The 3D Horsemen and Through The Never!  The video is most F-U-N at around the 0:11 to 0:30 second mark.


"Shitty smoke machine.."

Through The Never

Metallica
Through The Never Red Carpet U.S. Premiere
The Metreon, San Francisco
September 16, 2013

 

The Golden Ticket

Life is weird, man.  Thirty-one years ago I met and became friends with some band guys.  We were all teenagers... and then over the years these band guys grew up to become the Led Zeppelin of their generation.   Fast forward to the 21st Century and I received a nice e-mail invitation to attend the U.S. "red carpet" premiere of what is basically this band's multi-million dollar version of The Song Remains The Same.  Amazing.  

Click HERE to read about my adventures in Vancouver a year ago as Metallica filmed 2 shows for this movie.  It was one of the most epic and special Metal weekends, like, ever.

The tone of the night was quickly set as I entered The Metreon and met up with my Old Metal friends Cable Car, Mr. & Mrs. John Marshall, Paschke, and Ian "Rampage Radio / Metal Mania" Kallen in the lobby.   We were directed to the top floor of The Metreon complex where a Will Call table was set up and I collected my envelope with the fancy tickets to the screening and also the After Party.

The Golden Ticket #2

While waiting in the lobby I saw almost another double digit number of old friends and acquaintances; the vibe for me was very communal and familar... and guess what color 99.9% of the guests were wearing?  Nope, it was BLACK.  Plus, there was free popcorn and non-alcoholic drinks.  Fancy.

I couldn't figure out why the rail overlooking the escalator was jam packed and everyone was looking down.  Then a cheer broke out and the stars of the night (the band, the actor, the director) rode the escalator up from the ground floor and stepped onto the roped off red carpet area to face the obligatory gauntlet of press cameras and fan point and shoots and camera phones.  Rather funny if not obligatory.   Also, the only "celebrity" of note who I noticed in the lobby was... Sammy Hagar?!  C'mon Metallica and The Bay Area! I would hope we could do better than that in the "celebrity guest" thing.  Donde esta Robin Williams at least... Anyway, at this point ushers started moving through the lobby instructing us to proceed to the theater.

Evidently The Metreon's main IMAX theater was not big enough to accommodate all of the premiere's guests so we were split up for simultaneous screening in multiple theaters (at least 2 I think); Theaters 11 and 13 for sure.  I was in Theater "this one goes to" 11 and as the audience slowly filled the seats a soundtrack of classic Metal songs blasted over the sound system.  Nice.

As we walked in I notice that a pair of aisle seats were marked as reserved for Metallica's managers, which I took to be a good sign... and when they arrived and took their assigned seats it was time for the screening to begin.  The houselights were dimmed and 6 guys wearing nice clothes walked to the front of the theater to introduce the U.S. premiere of their $30 million DIY film project.  No one in the audience yelled "SLAAAYEER!" which I thought was polite and respectful. 

 [Photo courtesy of Cable Car]

Once the mic was passed down this row of gentlemen, the house lights went all the way down, we put on our 3D glasses, and for the next 94 minutes we were immersed in a cinematic juggernaut of volume.  I'm not going to review the movie... but I will say that part of me thinks it could be the greatest concert film ever made.  By that I mean I don't think any band has ever gone *all in* on a project with their own money and time to create something so over the top before... and that impresses me. 

Metallica never does anything half ass and this is the ultimate example of them doing whatever the fuck they want and they really don't give a shit what you think.  Seriously.  Yes, I liked the movie, but I also don't think I would like it as much if I had not been in Vancouver for the 2 shows they filmed there.  It was cool to recognize parts of the arena (such as the backstage hallways) but I don't think you can see me in any of the crowd shots.  Eye of the Beholder, I guess.  I also want to see it again properly on a ginormous IMAX screen.

After the credits ended we emptied out into the crowded lobby... and then those of us with the Golden Ticket #2 snuck away to a club a couple of blocks away for the After Party.  We arrived at the same moment as the film's actor Dane DeHaan got out of a black (natch..) SUV... which was funny since the club was only a couple blocks away from the theater.. but I suppose that is what you're supposed to do at your own film premiere.  Anyway, we probably broke some kind of film premiere etiquette by not waiting and walking into the club ahead of him.

Inside was 3 floors of open bar and delicious food.  As I said, Metallica does not do anything half ass.  For the next couple of hours I was able to mingle and socialize with some old friends and attempt to people watch.  To be honest, it was a pretty mellow affair... crowded... fun... but mellow... which was fine.  After 2 beers... food.. and some congratulatory conversation with some of the Metallica guys and chatting with at least one member of Death Angel.. it was back out into the San Francisco night since I had to work the next day.

Number of different types of sliders served at the party = 4.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag.  It was yet another trippy experience during this lifetime that Metallica have included me in...  Two days after this night was the 31st Anniversary of the first time Metallica ever played in San Francisco across town at The Stone (R.I.P.) and the day when I first met them.   Who would have thought that 31 years later those pimply-faced band guys would be members of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and also have their own version of The Song Remains The Same... and I would be able to witness it all firsthand.  Amazing!

"Twisting.. turning... through the never.."

Run To The Hills

The Battle of San Bernardino
Iron Maiden / Megadeth / Anthrax / Testament / Overkill
September 13, 2013

This show went onsale over 4 months in advance back in April, which seemed like a 100 years in the future back in the Spring... but now the day had finally arrived.  This was the type of bill that would only happen in Europe when I was a Teenage Metalhead in the 80's; one that we could only dream would happen in America.  That was over 30 years ago, so better late than never I guess.

After taking a late night flight out of Oakland I found myself in a hotel parking lot at midnight and it was still almost 80 degrees outside.  There was a car with Slayer, Anthrax, Exodus, Testament, Iron Maiden, and "All I Want To Do Is Listen To Heavy Metal" bumper stickers on it.  As I walked past this Metal Mobile I said "Hi" to the kid who was leaning against it.  He replied with "You going to Maiden?"... and I said "Fuck yeah"... and he nodded and replied with "Fuck yeah.." Then I walked past a car with 2 kids making out in it. Then I got into the elevator with 3 kids, one wearing a Metallica tee, who reeked of doobage. They suddenly bailed out of the elevator before it closed; maybe they thought I was a narc despite my Motörhead shirt. The kidz are alright.

The next day when we arrived in the amphitheater parking lot the Maiden tail gate parties were already in full roar with tents and even campers set up.  Gathering of The Tribe! The tone was set early on when we walked past a Maiden fan wearing a Maiden hockey jersey in the 90+ degree heat but who also had an artificial leg with The Trooper art painted on it (!).  Metal!  Despite how the day would unfold, I was overwhelmed a couple of times by a sense that I was amongst "my people".

Anyway, I became involved in some Will Call drama that makes this story kind of convoluted, so I'll try and relate this tale as organized as possible.   First off, we had tickets so English Bob and I made it inside and watched Overkill play on a small side stage crammed into a corner of the concourse.  More importantly, we made it inside to get a cold beer after standing in the hot sun at Will Call.  Unfortunately, Overkill sounded like shit and we couldn't really see them.  The next hour or so was a blur of heat and beer combined with some nice conversations with a couple of Bay Area friends who had also made the trip (Hey Liz and Tiyo!) and some other Metalheads who we randomly met.  One of them was wearing an Orchid tee and his friend without warning told me she had given the guy wearing the Orchid tee a copy of Murder In The Front Row for Christmas.  Wow.. They had given no indication they knew who I was up until then.. Thanks for the support! Then Testament opened up on the main stage.

Our Bay Area heroes unloaded into the sunburned face of San Bernardino with a short and concise 30 minute set.  The newer song 'Rise Up' opened things up followed by old standards like 'The New Order', 'Practice What You Preach', and 'Into The Pit'.   A half hour was criminally short for a band of Testament's stature but it was clear that the crowd understood it was quality over quantity this time.  Thankfully Chuck Billy & Company are hitting the road in the U.S. again this Fall because they were just getting heated up in San Bernardino when they had to unplug and head back to the comfort of backstage.

Anyway, back to my Will Call drama:  Yes, I had tickets but my name was not on a certain guest list for a pass as it was supposed to be.  Back in the ancient times before The Internets and mobile technology you couldn't call or text someone to help you with a Will Call problem.  You could try to slip a handwritten note to someone backstage via a security guard, but unless you were a cute girl the odds of that working weren't that great.  For all of the things technology has ruined here in the 21st Century (record stores, etc..) it's also made situations like this much easier to deal with... as long as you have a cell signal... which was very hit and miss at this venue (Trivia:  The US Festival was held on this same site in 1983).  So during the time after Testament played the following happened...

Despite my initial Will Call setback, the Metal Godz once again proved they work in mysterious ways.  One thing led to another and I contacted an old friend (via text) who lives on the other side of the country.  This friend (Hi Patrick!) contacted a mutual band friend (who we've known for years) whose band happened to be playing today.  Then this band friend passed on his contact info to me and I contacted him directly.  Then after trading messages back and forth with this band friend and his assistant this was delivered to Will Call for me:

Unfortunately I only saw the first song of Anthrax's set ('Caught In A Mosh') since I used the plastic to go backstage and thank my band friend before his set.  Considering that (1) his band was playing direct support at the show and (2) it was his birthday and he had his family with him, the fact that he went out of his way to help me was amazing.  Then this happened:

Pretty cool.  Anyway, after a short chat my band friend told me to come back after their set.  I just want to say this:  No matter what Dave Mustaine's politics or opinions might be, the bottom line is he still treats me like a friend after 30+ years... and that's all that matters to me.  He genuinely remembers the Old Metal Days... and he still shreds.

We stopped in Catering to grab some waters... and it was surreal seeing 2 members of Maiden casually hanging out with crew and guests.  I ran into another Bay Area friend who's on the Testament crew (Hey Walter!) and also managed quick chats with Alex and Chuck of Testament as well. We also finally met up with Photo Ray and the day's Bay Area circle of Metal was finally complete.  All of the earlier crazy from the heat Will Call drama was forgotten.

Right before Megadeth came on they played Diamond Head - 'Lightning To The Nations' and Exodus - 'Bonded By Blood' back to back over the PA... which was a nice old school touch.  Then the houselights went down and Megadeth tore into 'Hanger 18' and then 'Wake Up Dead'.  The band's production consisted of video screens behind them and on the back line which worked very well with the band's set of precise Metal.  Over the next 50 minutes Megadeth were my favorite band for obvious reasons.  The band executed a tight set that included a great version of 'In My Darkest Hour' as well as solid versions of 'Symphony Of Destruction' and 'Peace Sells' that closed the main set with the encore of 'Holy Wars' nailing it all down.  Solid.

I missed the first 3 1/2 songs of Maiden's set because I was at Mustaine's birthday cake party in his trailer.  The symphony of destruction of Dave's birthday cake:

For the record it was a chocolate cake with a creme filling shaped like a Flying-V.  Deliciously Metal.  Yes, we sang 'Happy Birthday' to him.  It should also be noted that Accept was playing on the stereo during the birthday cake party.

After the Mega-Birthday party we returned to our seats midway through '2 Minutes To Midnight'.  Ironically today was Friday the 13th... and according to the Umlaut Archives this was my 13th time seeing Maiden.  Trippy.   This was also the 3rd time I've seen Maiden on this tour and, despite having missed the beginning, it was the best performance out of all of them. Maiden were on fire, with Bruce sounding especially strong and the sound was pretty much perfect; the huge crowd sang along loudly to every song. Epic. The version of 'Wasted Years' was special.   As during the previous shows I saw on this tour last year, the middle section of 'The Trooper' into 'The Number of the Beast' into 'Phantom of the Opera' into 'Run To The Hills' had the most impact. However my favorite tonight was the epic complex progressive hammer of 'Seventh Son of a Seventh Son' while 'Wasted Years' and 'Aces High' were the emotional highlights for me. Is there any more life affirming concert moment than singing along with 30,000 other Metal fans to 'Aces High'?!  Nope.  "Fly to live!!  Do or die!"

There was a group of 4 young Hispanic Metal kids sitting right in front of me.. all decked out with denim vests, patches, and band tees... and they sang along to EVERY song. They were going nuts the entire time and knew all the songs and not just "the hits". I almost got teary eyed watching them sing along with Maiden during 'Wasted Years'.. They stood on their chairs every once in a while to bang their heads.. If it had been any other show I would have been the annoyed old guy, but they were just like me at their age. It was awesome. The kidz are alright.

The next morning I was preparing to return to The Bay Area when the Metal Godz provided us with one final blessing for the weekend.   While packing up I texted my farewell to a friend who then mentioned how I was only 15 minutes away from the grave of.... RANDY RHOADS.  WTF!?  Since we had time before our flight, English Bob and I found an awesome old school diner for breakfast (Tole House Cafe... Open since 1951!) and jetted the rental car towards Mountain View Mortuary & Cemetery... where we quickly found the final resting place of Randy Fuckin' Rhoads:

I was speechless.  I worshipped Randy Rhoads during his short time with Ozzy and had been lucky enough to have seen him onstage twice. However, it had been almost 32 years (!) since the last time I was in the same venue as him.  Seeing "1982" etched into his tomb profoundly reminded me how much time had passed since he left this world.  ALOT has happened since then and it felt like my Teenage Metalhead had come full circle (again).  Over the mountain, man... Over the mountain.

Number of strangers who told me they were Murder fans as I walked through the crowd at Maiden = 2.  On the way back to San Francisco, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags.  As with the epic Big 4 show a couple of years ago it took me a couple of days to decompress from this monumental day of Metal... but I didn't have a lot of time to reflect because a couple of days later I was attending the fancy U.S. red carpet premiere for the movie by a local Metal band called Metallica... but maybe I'll rant about that later.

"Run to the hills... Run for your life.."

Fairies Wear Boots

Black Sabbath
Shoreline Amphitheatre, Mountain View, California
August 26, 2013

I originally wasn't planning to see this tour due to all of the drama around this Sabbath "reunion" not including Bill Ward on the drum riser.  However, something clicked in my jaded old head when I thought how I'll never see Ronnie James Dio again.  I remembered how his final appearance in San Francisco with Heaven & Hell (aka Dio-era Black Sabbath) wasn't even sold out... which was fucking criminal when you think about it.  Then I reminded myself that Tony Iommi has always been my favorite guitarist.  My Inner Teenage Metalhead then chimed in that I needed to seize the moment and see my old heroes again since I might not have the chance again.  Dio never got his victory lap the way Ozzy is getting with this tour.  According to The Umlaut Archives, I've been in the same venue as Tony Iommi 12 times dating back to 1980.  The Hand of Iommi has guided me for so long, man.... so long.  I owed it to him to be at this concert.

At approximately 8:30pm Pacific Standard Time the piercing scream of an air raid siren blasted out of the PA to announce the arrival of Sabbath; the siren was like a call to arms and I got chills down my spine.  Yes, I'm a dork.  It was cool how understated Sabbath's arrival onstage was as they simply walked out to the wail of the siren and then lurched into 'War Pigs' and then kept steamrolling over The Bay Area with 'Into The Void' and then into... 'Under The Sun'!!?  Holy shite!  Even the most jaded hater could not possibly resist geeking out that they pulled that Vol. 4 deep cut out!  THEN then went into 'Snowblind' as Ozzy said "I don't do it anymore, man..".  COCAINE!

It's been very easy to be indifferent about Ozzy here in the 21st Century.  Back in The Day he was the Prince of Darkness but in recent years he's been the Court Jester.  However, maybe redemption is a real thing because Ozzy hasn't been this good in forever!  It was rather stunning to hear Ozzy sing so well.  I kept waiting for him to stumble into talking / mumbling the lyrics as he's done on past tours... but goddam if he didn't keep it together!  It was inspiring to hear Ozzy sing so well as he did his old man shuffle across the stage clapping his hands and flashing the peace sign like his younger self.  Oh Lord, yeah!

 [Photo courtesy of Cable Car]

Needless to say the rest of the band was spectacular and whoever is doing their sound on this tour should be considered a 5th member because the mix was the quintessential balance of pounding volume and clarity; the sound was absolutely perfect.   Geezer was as nimble and godlike on the 4-string bottom end as I've ever seen him... but I don't think I've ever seen Tony as engaged with the crowd as he was tonight.   Besides reaffirming himself as my favorite guitar player he was constantly smiling and playing at the lip of the stage.  Perhaps his brush with cancer has given him a renewed sense of purpose... and dog bless him for that!  Finally, and with no offense meant to Bill Ward, but Tommy Clufetos on drums absolutely killed it.  Although his drum solo (that began as part of an abbreviated version of 'Rat Salad') went on about 5 minutes too long.  Okay, you made your point Mr. Drummer... you are definitely heir to the Ward drum stool... but there's no need to beat Ward's memory to death with your 10+ minute solo spot.  Of course I understand that the solo was to give his aging bandmates a break, but 5 minutes would have gotten the point across.  Just saying.. but kudos to you Mr. Drummer. 

Also, aside from stylishly appropriate videos shown behind them, Sabbath played with minimum production and this no frills approach made the show even more amazing.  Without the standard pyro, inflatable props, or other distractions like confetti cannons the focus was entirely on the songs and the performance.   Other aging bands would wither under such naked scrutiny, but Black Sabbath seized their 2 hours onstage and made us all remember they were the first great Metal band and also how many bands basically copy their sound in one form or another even today.   My Inner Teenage Metalhead got all emo as he was reminded how much Sabbath meant to me as a kid and my adult Metalhead got all emo realizing how much Sabbath still means to me.

 [Photo courtesy of Tim Healy]

The setist included 3 songs off Sabbath's new 13 album... and they were alright... not terrible.. but the rest of the set was pretty unrelenting with ancient songs that have been seared into my soul and psyche since I was a teenager.  There was a stunning version of 'Black Sabbath'... Then another mind blowingly great deep cut with 'Behind The Wall Of Sleep'.. Then Geezer laying down his brief solo spot that slid straight into the eternal romance of 'N.I.B.'.. but it was 'Fairies Wear Boots' that crushed me the most tonight.  

I genuinely enjoyed the overplayed 'Iron Man' for the first time in ages and my Inner Teenage Metalhead was ready to fuck shit up to 'Children Of The Grave' all over again.  As on past "reunion" tours, 'Dirty Women' seemed like an odd song choice, but it still worked if only because it features one of Tony's longest guitar solos to end the song.  Sabbath teased with the intro of 'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath' before saying "Thankyougoodnight" with 'Paranoid'... and my Inner Teenage Metalhead banged his head to his original heroes to the song that I actually learned how to play on guitar once upon a time.

The last time I saw Ozzy with Sabbath (including Bill Ward) was at OzzFest 2005 when Iron Maiden completely blew them off the stage and on that night I left before their encore to beat the traffic because Sabbath were so listless and appeared to be going through the motions.   Fast forward to 8 years later and I wanted to stay until the final note of Sabbath's set rang into the night sky; I didn't care if I got caught in traffic afterwards.  This was also fueled by the realization that this might be the final time I would be seeing Black Sabbath ever again.  

[Photo courtesy of Cable Car]

I did get sad at one point during 'Paranoid' when I remembered that Dio-era Sabbath is now very much in the past.. and for a split second at the end of 'Paranoid' I half expected them to go into the 'Heaven & Hell' outro that they used to do when Dio sang with them.  Ozzy-era Sabbath was the soundtrack to when I first discovered Rock music.  Dio-era Sabbath was the Sabbath I actually grew up with and saw as it happened; it's always meant a little more to me.  Hell, I even saw the Ian Gillan-era Born Again lineup and the dubious Tony Martin-era Cross Purposes version of Sabbath.  I had also seen the first "reunion" tours with Ozzy (and Bill Ward) twice including the first time around in 1999.  However, after tonight's show I finally feel like I've seen Sabbath with Ozzy at their full power and glory together... and for that I'm eternally grateful.

If you bought one of every Sabbath merch item you would have paid around $600.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags.  As we made our way back to the car after the show I started to regret not bailing a little early to beat the traffic... but the Metal Godz work in mysterious ways... and it only took mere minutes to get out of the parking lot and onto Highway 101 back to Casa de Umlaut.  Oh Lord yeah!  Black Sabbath forever, man.  Forever.

"Fairies wear boots.. yeah.. you gotta believe... I saw it..  I saw it.. I won't tell you no lies!"

Then Sabbath posted this statement from Tony that confirmed what I felt watching them at Shoreline:

No Speed Limit

Hmm... Here's an excerpt from a new interview with Mr. James Hetfield from his band's official fan club magazine So What:

I only have a vague memory of this conversation, but it's very cool that James remembered it.  Of course... then his band recorded a ballad.

Fade. To. Black.

The Year Of The Snake

Whitesnake
The Warfield, San Francisco
August 9, 2013

There was a time before Hair Metal when I liked Whitesnake.  In the late-70's and the beginning of the 80's they were still David Coverdale's post-Deep Purple blues Rock band with a lineup that included other former Purple members Jon Lord and Ian Paice.  That early lineup was supposed to support Molly Hatchet in Oakland in 1980... and I was there.. but Whitesnake cancelled and didn't play.  Then Hair Metal happened and Whitesnake changed lineups, teased up their hair, and Tawny Kitaen did back flips on the hood of a Jaguar for them on MTV... and I hated them.  Fast forward to the 21st Century and Whitesnake have become a guilty pleasure for Umlaut.  Four years ago I saw them at one of the most fun shows ever when they supported Judas Priest at a fairground in the middle of California.

Before tonight's show I met up with Joey Acid King and our bros Bob Revolve and Eric The Woodman for some hardcore pre-show conversation about KISS over beers at an appropriately divey Tenderloin 'hood bar whose name I can't remember but that is only a block away from The Warfield.  Then we few, we happy few, made our way over to The Warfield for the big Rock Show.  Will Call was painless as my name was on the guest list as promised; I wish every show was this easy.  Thanks Bob!

In a nice marketing coincidence, this year happens to be the Year of the Snake but I'm not sure if it generated any spike in Whitesnake fandom, but it didn't matter.   For the next 80 minutes or so, Whitesnake managed to make me forget about the outside world and performed what was easily the most fun show of the year. Ironically, the former Beatle who is not George Harrison or John Lennon was headlining on the other side of town in Golden Gate Park in front of 50,000+ people at the exact same time, which Coverdale acknowledged mid-set.   He was a true English gentleman about it.  I will take 'Slide It In' over 'Hey Jude' any day.

David Coverdale still has *it* when it comes to being a frontman. He might not be able to hit all the notes like he used to but he makes up for it with that kind of vintage Rock Star charisma and swagger that bands today simply do not have. Thirteen songs... All the Whitesnake hits you'd want to hear were included: 'Love Ain't No Stranger', 'Gambler',  'Slide It In'... During 'Here I Go' I felt like doing the splits on the hood of a Jaguar... and then the show closed with the obviously appropriate 'Still Of The Night'.  The MILF energy in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife... and every cock-like stage move that Coverdale did with his mic stand made me laugh out loud.. but I was laughing with him and not at him.

It was a solid, no frills show.  It was the type of performance I appreciate more these days since it relies on the strength of good songs and good showmanship.  I will say that the guitarist wearing black leather pants who used to be in Dio did a better solo spot than the other guitarist wearing black jeans who used to be in Winger.  Also, I've seen Tommy Aldridge with the Pat Travers Band, Ozzy, Ted Nugent, and Whitesnake over the years and he did the same drum solo again... where he finishes by playing with his hands... but it's just about the only drum solo that does not bore me.  Aldridge is still a Drum God... and after the show this happened to Joey Acid King and I:

Two Drummers and an Asian

Yes, the evening ended with us drinking Whitesnake's beer backstage; not bad for a Friday night.  If you bought one of every Whitesnake merch item I think you would have paid around $180.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag.  My Inner 20-year old Metalhead and the ghost of Paul Baloff are appalled that I like Whitesnake here in the 21st Century... but the next day I hung out with my friend Adam Dubin and we talked about how the kidz these don't know as Nine Inch Nails played in a park in San Francisco.

"I hope no bad people show up.."

Adam still looks the same except without glasses and with long hair now:

Murder In The N.Y. Post

From today's New York Post gossip column:

[click for a larger image]

Next to a picture of a pregnant Kim Kardashian no less.  WTF... The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways, man.  Hopefully Donald Trump saw this and will buy a copy or a hundred since The Post called Murder a "sweet read".

If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York

For Victory

Bolt Thrower / Autopsy / Benediction / Noothgrush
Oakland Metro, Oakland, California
May 26, 2013

This show was sold out 2 months in advance and that says everything about the magnitude of this night.  Bolt Thrower last visited the West Coast 20 years ago and for years they have been the #1 band on my bucket list since I didn't see them back in The Day.  I was as giddy as a little school girl as this show drew closer.  In the days leading up to it I mentally prepared myself for the combat conditions that would await us inside the hardcore warehouse confines of the Oakland Metro.  It was going to be medieval.  Staying hydrated would be the key to survival.

As H-Hour approached, Team Umlaut infiltrated the 510 early to fuel up at Pacific Coast Brewing before the battle that lay ahead of us.  Despite some spotty table service it was quality face time with good friends (Hail to Sensory Abuse, Rich and Pam Cathead, and Valowar!).  Then we few, we happy few, made our way over to the dark den of sweat that is the Oakland Metro.  However, upon entering the space I was confronted by something that almost harshed my Metal buzz:

A BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN BACK PATCH?!   My only guess is that it's meant to be an ironic tribute to the 80's because there was a Twisted Sister patch on front of the vest.  Kids, irony should be left to the professionals.  Anyway, there would be no "dancing in the dark" tonight.

The local sludge of Noothgrush was probably out of place for some but having them on the bill was a good appetizer since their Doom casually set the table for the old school Death that was to follow.  Benediction were making their first visit to The Bay Area from Birmingham, England even though they've been around almost as long as the headliners.  Having them on the bill gave it that extra historic vibe as it felt like a true English Death Metal invasion and if I'm not mistaken their bass player was in Napalm Death once upon a time. They were great. Autopsy have headlined the Metro before and since this was a hometown show for the veterans they really kicked the energy level up a notch.

Sorry, but if it seems like I was distracted during the support bands it's because I was... I can't properly articulate how important seeing Bolt Thrower was to me.  During Autopsy I stood against a wall watching them, digging their horrifying mayhem, saying "Hi" and shaking hands with friends and acquaintances who walked past, but my head was already in the Bolt Thrower trench sharpening my bayonet. 

The energy in the room was so 1985 East Bay I almost couldn't stand it; the ghosts from Murder In The Front Row were alive again at least for tonight.  Time travel does exist, man.  I can't remember the last time I was in a room where everyone was so excited to see a band.  Umlaut rarely goes down front for big shows anymore, but as Autopsy finished and the crowd thinned out to visit the restrooms, bars, or smoking area I posted up to await the triumphant return of Bolt Thrower.

This is one of those shows where mere words cannot fully express my thoughts and judging from the crowd's reaction I know that the 1,000 other souls in the room felt the same.  Bolt Thrower has an unholy groove to their mayhem that penetrates your skull like a screwdriver between the eyes.  All of the Bolt Thrower fans reading this know what I'm talking about; what makes the band special is as much about medieval brutality as it is the subtle unholy melodies that drives their sound.  The headbanging, pit action, and stage diving were medieval and fantastic all night from the minute the band walked onstage.

[Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse]

Seeing Bolt Thrower only a couple of days after attending Jeff Hanneman's memorial really centered my head again.  After saying goodbye to Hanneman I had the feeling that *my* Metal was eroding and sliding into the ocean of time at a much faster rate.  However, seeing a veteran band like Bolt Thrower being more powerful and compelling than any other band I've seen in recent years calmed me down.  As if he was reading my mind, Karl dedicated 'When Glory Beckons' to Hanneman. 

A lot of people focus on Jo because they still find it a novelty for a woman to be a key member of such a brutal band... but Bolt Thrower are A BAND.  Besides Jo and Martin holding down the fortifications, the withering tone of Gavin and Barry is singular and unrelenting... and Karl is that old school type of frontman... aggressive but also gracious like a proper Englishman.  I loved this band before tonight and I will follow them into battle for eternity now that I've finally witnessed them live.  Bolt Thrower validated the special energy in Oakland by coming back for an unscheduled 2nd encore and laid down some old school with 'In Battle There Is No Law' from their debut album.  HAIL!

[Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse]

As the dust and sweat settled Bolt Thrower had pumped a selection of 16 songs into the collective skulls of Oakland.  The last time I felt as inspired from seeing a Metal band was after the now legendary 2009 show by Amebix when they played San Francisco for the first time ever.  Bolt Thrower and Carcass are the bands who brought me back to Metal after some years of wandering the wilderness of Metal indifference.  I'm a sucker for Grindcore and Crust.  Dirty.  Gritty.  Not pretty.  Also, combine that with the influence fantasy war gaming and military history has in their music and aesthetic and Bolt Thrower are my soul band in many ways.

If you bought one of every Bolt Thrower merch item you would have paid a mere $80 for 7 tees.  Prices were kept old school at $10 to $15; Umlaut went all-in for the $15 tee.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag.  Umlaut can be very jaded, so it was amazing to have a life-altering concert experience again here in the 21st Century... and I'm very thankful for that.  Ironically the day after the show was Memorial Day.

[Photo courtesy of Sensory Abuse]

"No Guts!! No Glory!"

Raining Blood

Jeff Hanneman Memorial 
The Palladium, Los Angeles, California
May 23, 2013

I still don't have my head around this yet and I might not for awhile: An original member of Slayer is gone.  Despite the usual band trials and tribulations over the years, Slayer have always been SLAAAYER.  When I first saw them at venues like Ruthie's Inn we were all still pimply-faced teenagers.  The Metal Godz work in mysterious ways and approximately 10,585 days later my professional life involves SLAAAYER. However, I was still shocked and honored to receive a VIP invitation to Jeff's memorial.  As I drove to the memorial this started playing on the rental car radio:

Amazing, right?  "An unforeseen future nestled somewhere in time..."

The sadness of this day was made at least a little bit positive by all of the old friends who were in one place again.  There were at least a half dozen people in the VIP area who I've known since we were all teenagers.  Many other friends and acquaintances were also in the house who have entered my life over the years.  One of those old teenage friends later spoke from the podium about releasing Slayer's first two albums on his indie record label that's still called Metal Blade Records.

I'm not going to detail who said what from the podium since you can see and read about that all over The Internets by now.  I'm not going to list what Rock Stars and Metal elite were standing around me up in the balcony.  This event was so much bigger than all of that.  Who would have thought a public event associated with Slayer could be so overtly emotional?

As I said at the start of this rant, I still don't have my head around this day.  However, while typing this, some order has started to come out of the conflicted chaos that are my current thoughts and old memories.  When Cliff Burton passed away a million years ago we were all still young and he wasn't a legend yet.  His death represents an unfulfilled future to me.  When Paul Baloff passed away I wasn't following Metal at that time in my life so unfortunately I wasn't completely engaged with him leaving. His death represents an unfulfilled past to me.  Jeff Hanneman's death represents an unfulfilled present to me.  Slayer are still relevant here in the 21st Century.  If you don't agree then just choke on some Halestorm MP3s.  No, I don't know how to perform the heimlich maneuver.  To quote SLAAYEER:  "Before you see the light you must die.."

Best Quote:  "FUCK SPIDERS!!" - A random fan during one of the testimonials after Hanneman's battle with necrotizing fasciitis was mentioned.

While the testimonials were all heartfelt and powerful, the emotional highlight of the service for me came when the retrospective slideshow began. It was an extreme honor and also very surreal to have a few photos and some flyers from Murder In the Front Row included in the slideshow... and then magic happened.

As 'Raining Blood' started playing over the PA a massive pit opened up on the floor with everyone singing along.  I must have had something in my eyes.. but I wasn't crying, goddammit... (Yes I was...).  "Now I shall reign in blood!" felt more like a prayer than a war cry at that moment.  Amen.

Of all the things that came full circle on this day, my favorite one was the profound irony that Hanneman's memorial was being held in the same venue that Slayer was banned from playing.  Local L.A. Metal veterans still tell the story of when Slayer played The Palladium on the South Of Heaven Tour in 1988 (with Danzig supporting).  Fans who couldn't get into the sold out show rioted outside and Slayer were banished from The Palladium... just like Satan being cast out of Heaven in that book of ancient stories.  Full circle AND Jeff got the last laugh.

Number of times the Krokus song 'Screaming In The Night' was played over the PA = 2.  If you bought one of every Hanneman memorial merch item you would have paid $25, but all of the proceeds went to Music Cares.  Rest in peace and thank you, Jeff..

"Rancid Angel of Death... Flying free..."

Norwegian Wood

Kvelertak
Slim's, San Francisco
May 7, 2013

Prior to the show I met some old friends for dinner on Valencia Street in The Mission.  It was a good time where the meal conversation started with cannibalism and went on from there.   I guess a few people looked at us funny because one of my dinner companions sings those songs they play on Rock radio all the time.  After dinner we few, we happy few, jumped into an SUV and headed to Slim's.  Unfortunately our meal ran late and we missed the opening bands... which was a bit of a bummer because I dig Black Tusk.  Sorry, guys.

Since all Norwegians look and sound the same to me sometimes, I kind of thought of Kverlertak as Turbonegro with better album art.  I now know that I was wrong.   We walked in the back door of Slim's to stand at stage left in the usual "guest" area.   However, in a surreal turn of events we were soon joined by a film crew and at least 3 normal looking press photographers.  We were soon informed that the Crown Prince and the Crown Princess of Norway were attending the show.  I shit you not.   We were told this at least 3 times and I got the drift that we were to keep the aisle clear for their arrival.  Then not long before Kvelertak's onstage time the backstage door opened and in breezed the royal couple from Norway!  WTF..

Kvelertak meets the Norwegian Royal Couple at Slim's

(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

Bizarre... but it must be kind of cool to live in a country with legitimate royalty that can be traced back hundreds of years... and that royalty will come to see your Metal band.   Also, to the royal couple's credit, they stayed for Kvelertak's entire set and watched from the crowd.  Impressive.

(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

Pretty cool royalty if you ask me... but they stole the thunder from the local Metal royalty who were also in the house.. namely the guy who sings 'Master Of Puppets' and that other guy who is also known as The General.

Call me a poser but I haven't gotten the new Kvelertak album yet, but enough material was played off of their debut album so my head was in the game.  Kvelertak seemed to step things up several notches and they put on one of the best sets I've seen in awhile.  I'm a sucker for the band's Punk Metal hybrid and having 3 guitarists is not overkill at all; it allows the band to be more frenetic onstage than a lesser band.   As the band flies around the stage there are 2 guitarists covering the sound if the 3rd axe dude messes up.   Combine that with awesome caveman vocalist Erlend Hjelvik leading the charge and Kvelertak are the type of band that makes me want to follow them around... because with that kind of energy no two shows can be alike.  Such a great live band, man... and another weird part of the night was that the band's temporary drummer on this tour is the son of Max Weinberg (Yes... Bruce Springsteen's drummer).. and the kid is great.  Crazy, man.

Umlaut is laughing with The Prince not at him..

I didn't do a merch audit and the merch line after the show was not moving fast enough so I gave up.  I had tried to beat the crowd and buy merch mid-set... but there was no one working the merch stand!  Oh well... I tried to give the Norwegians some American dollars.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag  As great as Scandinavia is for creating Metal bands have you ever had their salty licorice?  It's disgusting...  Anyway, cue this song of course:

Click HERE to read the official news report from Norway Today.