At Dawn They Sleep

Slayer  
San Jose State Event Center, San Jose, California
Roctober 30, 2013

 

This might have been the last show I go to in San Jose on a week night.  It took Umlaut 2 1/2 HOURS from driveway to parking space; this drive should only take 45 minutes given the distance.  Rush hour traffic through Silicon Valley here in the 21st Century is ridiculous.  Anyway...  If only all shows were this easy:

Once inside I had to take care of a work related task that basically involved me carrying a 30 pound box across the San Jose State campus... but after that it was Metal.  Unfortunately, I missed Gojira because this was happening:

Ruthie's Inn Reunion

[Photo courtesy of Cable Car]

For the newbies that would be 2/5 of the Bonded By Blood-era Exodus lineup (Rick Hunolt, Tom Hunting) and Mr. Tom Araya.  Crazy how time flies. It's funny how a Slayer show is like a high school reunion for me now.  Double digit old friends are always in the house and the vibe is very tribe-like.  Slayer shows are supposed to be angry affairs but I find myself laughing and smiling almost the entire time.  Since I was caught up in socializing it didn't hit me right away that this would be my first Slayer show since Jeff Hanneman passed away.  Reality check..

Yes, there is much debate about Slayer these days, but I really don't care what anyone else thinks.  The bottom line is that Slayer are on fire again. Yes,  it's only 1/2 original members now but the other 1/2 are guys who were there in the beginning too. The current version of Slayer is so heavy with history and bonds of blood it gets me all emo. Slayer is now 1/2 L.A. Thrash and 1/2 Bay Area Thrash.  It's all a direct line straight back to Ruthie's Inn and San Pablo Avenue circa 1984.. and the band guys know it. Their nod to the Bay Area by playing 'Strike Of The Beast' (EXODUS!) in the middle of the set unannounced and with zero fanfare is proof of that.  I was standing next to 2 current members of Exodus as this happened, watching their Exodus brother Gary onstage, and it was special.  SLAAAYER!!  In fact the entire set was all old school vintage material with nothing post 1988 performed... 19 songs that kicked off with 'Hell Awaits' and they played 'At Dawn They Sleep'!!
 

 [Photo courtesy of Cable Car]

There is a different energy with Slayer onstage now.  It's not better or worse than the old days.  It's just different.   Tom smiles onstage now and I like how it's obvious he is watching the crowd and paying attention to the other side of the barrier.  Gary and Kerry bring a special volume storm to things that is unrelenting both sonically and historically; so much history is shared by those 20 fingers now channeling their departed brother.  Hanneman is definitely a spirit in black that hovers over it all now and if you don't believe that then you're way too jaded to be reading this blog.  Bostaph is the logical drummer now and he really does hold it down great for the most part, but I will say that 'Angel Of Death' is not the same. Some things can't be replicated or summoned again, but that is not Paul's fault.  Haters will bitch and rant about why Slayer should call it quits, but why should they?  Umlaut is old.  My Metal heroes are old.  Alot of my old Metal heroes are gone.  I'm thankful for who is still here and I'm thankful Slayer can still deliver us to evil.  I've been supporting them since literally Day One and I have no reason to stop supporting them now.

  Holt Awaits
[Photo courtesy of Cable Car]

Maybe I should grow a beard. It's funny how the Slayer front line (Kerry, Tom, Gary) is now the Beard Wehrmacht.  I dance with the beards in my dream.. Listen to their hallowed screams.. the beards have taken my soul....

Anyway, if you bought one of every Slayer merch item you would have paid around $600.  On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags.  Who knows what the future holds for Slayer.. but for now I say just cherish them because there are a lot of kids out there who think Avenged Sevenfold are, like, the best band ever.

"An unforeseen future nestled somewhere in time.."

Then 24 hours later it was... 

Danzig / Butcher Babies / Ghoul / A Pale Horse Named Death
The Warfield, San Francisco
Halloween 2013

Unlike the night before, tonight's trek to the show was much more tolerable and realistic.  Twenty minutes from driveway to parking space is more like it... Oh yeah, it was also Halloween.  When did Halloween become a 2 week "holiday" and just another reason for douchbags to get fucked up?  However, seeing Danzig on Halloween had a nice, nostalgic ring to it... and if only all Danzig shows were this easy:

Yes, liking Glenn Danzig is problematic here in the 21st Century but as soon as I hear any of those old Misfits or Samhain songs or the first pair of Danzig albums I remember how great he used to be.  Then I see that video of him getting punched in Arizona and the reality of today returns.  Oh Glenn...

Halloween... and tonight was also the last night of the tour.  There were a surprising number of Umlaut Nation friends in the house tonight, which was a nice surprise.  Evidently the first band, A Pale Horse Named Death, included Danzig's drummer and a former member of Type O Negative... but I didn't pay attention to them.  Honesty is my only excuse: I was never a Type O Negative fan.  However, also on the bill were local Thrash Horror kings Ghoul!

Maybe I was caught up in Halloween or something, but I assumed that Ghoul's East Bay-centric fanbase wouldn't be at the show in force due to the pricey ticket.  Wow, was I wrong!  Naively we made our way to the front and as soon as Ghoul hit the stage some nice pit action immediately opened up and the drinks we were holding were knocked out of our hands.  Sadly Ghoul were denied from using their usual blood-colored liquids by the headliner so their stage show was neutered... but the hooded locals and their mechanical and diabolical stage friends made up for it with one of the best sets I've seen them play.  Their 30 minutes was quintessential Halloween mayhem.

Uh, yeah... Butcher Babies.  I will be polite and only say that I had a wonderful conversation with a cold beer during their set.  Anyway, there was a very strict "No Photo" policy in effect tonight, which included phone cameras.  However, one thing led to another and I ended up watching the headliner from this vantage point:

Twist Of Cain

Long story short, "Danzig" here in the 21st Century does feel like a cover band who are required to dye their hair black to be in the band, but Glenn was better than I expected.  It still surprises me how I know the lyrics to almost all of his songs.  'Twist Of Cain'... 'Dirty Black Summer'.. 'Mother'... but it was the Misfits set with Doyle that was the obvious draw tonight.  Danzig and Doyle playing 'Halloween' on Halloween was cool.. but not as entertaining as the guy wearing the gorilla mask who randomly attacked a guy in zombie makeup right in front of the soundboard.  Security!  I will admit without any guilt that 'Skulls', 'London Dungeon' and 'Bullet' made me smile.  All in all it was a fun, easy night and I must thank Wedge for sorting me and letting us watch the show from his office.  Cheers, brother!

If you bought one of every Danzig merch item you would have paid around $260.  On the way back to the car, some-pimply faced teenagers called us fags.  Actually, on the way back to the car I saw Ross of Ghoul and he gave me a hug when I told him how our drinks were spilled by the pit mayhem during his set... Then we passed a new Prius on Market Street that was basically surrounded by 8 (EIGHT) SFPD officers wearing riot helmets.  Hybrid Horror!

 "I remember Halloween.."

28 Years Ago Today

Umlaut's First Backstage Pass!
(From the Umlaut Archives)

Halloween 1983.. The Keystone in Palo Alto, California. Metallica had finished their debut U.S. Tour supporting Raven almost 2 months earlier with a trio of triumphant hometown shows in Palo Alto, Berkeley, and San Francisco; this was their first headlining hometown area gig in 7 months. It was also the first time 'Fight Fire With Fire' and 'Ride The Lightning' were played live... A rather historic moment, right? The show was a Metal Monday show sponsored by local Rock radio station KOME 98.5 (R.I.P.) and the ticket price that night was $5.98 (geddit!?).

There was a costume contest before Metallica went on, but I can't remember what the winning costume was and, NO, Metallica did NOT wear costumes onstage like every other band who plays on Halloween. However, for those who care the setlist that night was:

• Hit The Lights
• The Four Horsemen
• Jump In The Fire
• Fight Fire With Fire
• Ride The Lightning
• Phantom Lord
• When Hell Freezes Over
• No Remorse
• Seek And Destroy
• Cliff solo
• Whiplash

'When Hell Freezes Over' was an early version of the instrumental 'Call Of Ctulu' that ended up on the Ride The Lightning album. Less than 3 months after this show Metallica left for their first European Tour... and things were never the same.

Shameless self-promotion: Live and backstage photos from this night will be seen in Murder In The Front Row...

The Healing Power Of Metal

Halloween 2006

This has been a weird and stressful time for Umlaut and Skychick, with a dark cloud of bullshit hanging over Casa de Umlaut for the entire year. Thankfully, the sun finally broke through and the sword of justice smote our enemy upon the ruins (or something like that). However, despite this victory, our world is a changed place.

As a reaction to the chaos swirling around me, I religiously embraced Metal again because it gave me comfort in these dark times. Metal is familiar and it served the same purpose when I was a weird and stressed teenager. I don't know what other dudes my age do when their lives become weird and stressed (God? Golf? Hookers?), but it was cool that I could find solace in something "normal people" can't comprehend and that's not self-destructive (unless I want my soul to go to Heaven of course): The Healing Power of Metal.

The Healing Power Of Metal wasn't simply listening to the music; it also included many ironic and positive events that happened to me this year. Most of these events have been chronicled in this space and they all had one thing in common: METAL. Events such as this one:

A year ago my Mom gave me a box of crap she'd collected from my old bedroom at my parents' house; I stuck it up in the attic and forgot about it. Last weekend I was looking for our Halloween decorations and came across the box and finally opened it. Most of the contents were trivial, but there was also a strangely familiar blue folder. On the cover was a late-70's / early-80's decal from local Rock radio station KSJO (R.I.P.). When I opened the folder I almost screamed like King Diamond.

Inside the blue folder was pure gold: The original layouts for Issue #1 of my Metal fanzine Whiplash, which I thought were long gone. Also inside were notes and typed articles that had been intended for the ill-fated Issue #2 that was never published. There were also some vintage live photos that penpals had sent me of Metallica, Randy Rhoads, and Lemmy amongst others. It was like finding my own personal Ark of the Covenant.

Sidebar: Other mom's would have chucked this stuff in the trash, but not my mommy - THANKS MOM! It almost makes me forgive her for making my original Mercyful Fate shirt "disappear" back in The Day...

One of the lost articles in the folder was a piece I wrote about a Swiss band called Hellhammer. For the newbies: Members of Hellhammer subsequently formed the legendary Metal band Celtic Frost, whose resurrection was one of the high points for me this year. Celtic Frost 2006 + Finding This Article = The Healing Power Of Metal!

Judging from the dates in the article, I wrote it in early-1984 and I have a vague memory that the band sent me their demo tapes after they'd read a copy of Whiplash #1. Because they had made the effort, I felt obligated to write something positive about the band eventhough they sounded so primitive to me.  Hellhammer were ahead of their time and my ears weren't quite there yet.

I'm rather gobsmacked how relatively focused my writing was back in those salad days... Especially since any reader of this space knows that I tend to rant and meander now in my old age. I'm also struck that my sense of humor about Metal had already developed eventhough I was still a fanatically dogmatic 20-year old who lived and bled Metal 24/7.

On a historical note, it's interesting how the cross breeding of Punk and Metal was already being acknowledged in the underground scene eventhough the Punk / Metal crossover "officially" was still a good 2 years away. Also, how can you not love the band's personal aliases!?

I must also mention that had Whiplash #2 been published we could have been the first Stateside Metal publication to cover Hellhammer / Tom Warrior / Martin Ain. Alas, what could have been.... Anyway, enjoy this trip down Old Metal Memory Lane.

Your's In Metal,
Brian Umlaut (alias "Flayed Obliteration")

HELLHAMMER

Switzerland is the home of the appropriately named HELLHAMMER, one of those rare bands that come along now and then to enrich society. Originally called HAMMERHEAD, the band was formed in May, 1982 by Tom Warrior (alias "Satanic Slaughter") along with his brother Steve (alias "Savage Damage") and Grave Hill, who was sacked shortly afterwards.

During the first months the lineup continued with Pete Smith (alias "Bloodhunter") on drums, but according to the band he wasn't good enough, so he was replaced in November, 1982 by Bruce Day (ex-MOORHEAD), alias "Denial Fiend". More recently, HELLHAMMER underwent another facelift as Steve Warrior was replaced by Martin Ain (ex-SCHIZO), who goes by the alias of "Slayed Necros".

Although the band lists their influences as VENOM, ANGEL WITCH, RAVEN, and EXCITER, their sound can easily be defined as a cross between VENOM and those punk / metal fiends THE MENTORS (What a hybrid!)! In June, 1983 HELLHAMMER recorded their first demo, which turned out very badly and was never released. This abortion was followed closely by the "Triumph Of Death" 13-song cassette. As a result of some terrible production, a casual listen comes across as an earful of rumbling incoherency. Still, those with patience enough to listen to the tape will find tracks like "Maniac", "Reaper", "Power Of Satan", and "When Hell Is Near" promising. If the songs themselves are forgettable, their titles are certainly classics: "Decapitator", "Blood Insanity", "Death Fiend", "Ready For Slaughter" to name a few. Excellent stuff - right out of a Herschell Lewis Film Festival! Too bad the music doesn't quite live up....

Mercifully, HELLHAMMER were able to return to the studio in late-'83, which resulted in their third demo, "Satanic Rites". This tape is a definate improvement over the previous one, and features new versions of "Triumph Of Death", "Maniac", and "Crucifixion". The production is much better as well, although you still can't understand a word Mr. Warrior is saying and absolutely no bottom end is present (Why have a bass player if you can't hear him???). All qualms aside though, the three "re-done" tunes plus the five new ones [Editor's Note: This sentence is incomplete, its conclusion lost in the fog of time..]

HELLHAMMER is punk / metal, no doubt about it. Along with such tried and true masters as DISCHARGE, G.B.H., and THE ANTI-NOWHERE LEAGUE, they fall into that "no man's land" which lies between Punk and Heavy Metal. These Swiss maniacs are not something you'd listen to all the time, but their [sic] fun as hell to thrash to when the situation arises! The so-called "proper" headbangers will hate this band, but they'll have the Top-40 "heaviness" of QUIET RIOT, DEF LEPPARD, VAN HALEN, et. al. to dance along with. But for all you militant bangers out there, give HELLHAMMER a listen! The musicianship is pretty pedestrian, but with this band, musical competency is sacrificed for brute power! VENOM are still #1, but if you don't want to overkill on Chronos & Co., HELLHAMMER should fit right into your playlist.

You can summon the band by sacrificing a virgin or a suitable farm animal and chanting the following verse:

HELLHAMMER
P.O. Box 12
CH-8309 Nurensdorf
SWITZERLAND

Or, if you're the squemish type, just write the same verse on an envelope (Red ink will suffice...) and let the postman take care of the rest.

I returned to the attic and found one of the Hellhammer demo tapes I received back in 1984 (Demo #2 = "The Triumph Of Death" recording). I can safely say I hadn't listened to this cassette since 1984-85.

As I listened to the tape for the first time in at least 22 years several thoughts came to mind:

• The recording sounds like crap... but that's how demo tapes sounded back in the days before digital technology and home computers. In my old age I find the crappy sound charming and endearing.
• I have no idea why I compared Hellhammer to The Mentors back in 1984.
• It's interesting to hear the embryonic version of Tom Warrior's trademark vocals and guitar style that he perfected with Celtic Frost.

To quote Celtic Frost (from the song 'Return To The Eve'): "Could I ever return, it would be doom, obsessed by the nightmare's sound..."

Indeed, I can return... again and again. Never underestimate the Healing Power Of Metal.

Updated on 2/13/08:

From the Celtic Frost web site:

With the release of "Demon Entrails" on February 18th in Europe and February 26th in the U.S., the days of numerous sub-standard bootlegs of the classic Hellhammer demos - "Death Fiend", "Triumph of Death" and "Satanic Rites" - are finally over! "Demon Entrails" will also be available as an opulent oversized double CD media-book packaging and as a gatefold triple vinyl album. Both versions will feature a lavish booklet and a poster. A bare-bones lower-price CD version will be available.

To celebrate this pinnacle release, the official "Demon Entrails" microsite has been launched at www.demonentrails.com. Fans can pre-order all three versions at a special price for a limited time only. The site also features album cover art and complete track listings.

"Demon Entrails" has been specially re-mastered from copies of the original master tapes under the supervision of founder Tom Gabriel Fischer, and the demos now represent Hellhammer exactly as the band sounded when recording these songs in June and December of 1983. Drawing from a wealth of previously unknown historical liner-notes, material and artwork, as well as plenty of unreleased Hellhammer photos from 1982 to 1984, "Demon Entrails" features all lyrics and essays detailing the individual demo recording sessions.

All Hallow's Eve 2005

Umlaut LOVES Halloween!

Casa de Umlaut's neighborhood is pretty jumping with the Halloween spirit every year. What's more fun than drinking red wine while wearing Devil horns and giving kids candy? NOTHING.


Umlaut's front yard... Glowing skull in a bird bath. SPOOKY!

How can you not love the irony of kids coming to the door while The Birthday Party's "Release The Bats" blared from Umlaut's stereo and Nick Cave screamed "Sex vampire.. Bite!"... followed by B.O.C.'s "Don't Fear The Reaper". Umlaut's Halloween Mix played on shuffle proved to be very sublime... especially when combined with a red wine buzz and sugar rush from Halloween candy.

Appropriately, as Bauhaus' "Bela Lugosi's Dead" hit the stereo a massive group of 15 kids hit Umlaut's front step at once. "Undead, undead, undead.."

Click HERE to read about last year's Halloween in Casa de Umlaut's hood. Eerie and macabre.. but the old lady's daughter and son-in-law recently moved into her house. The cycle continues.

The final Trick or Treater tally = 91 kids. Not bad, but there was only ONE Mummy. I was disappointed. However, the coolest thing was that practically all of the kids (and parents) who came to the door said "Thank you".. I was impressed. Perhaps there's hope for this society yet.

"Bonfires burning bright,
Pumpkin faces in the night,
I remember Halloween."
- The Misfits

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Halloween / Dia de los Muertos 2005

Umlaut got carried away while making a Halloween compilation CD. Actually, that's an understatement.. but the end justifies the madness... 60 songs and a running time of 4 hours. All killer, no filler IMO:

1. Highway To Hell - AC/DC
2. Welcome To My Nightmare - Alice Cooper
3. Little Demon - The Amazing Crowns
4. Devil In My Car - The B-52s
5. Bela Lugosi's Dead - Bauhaus
6. Helter Skelter - The Beatles
7. Release The Bats - The Birthday Party
8. Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath
9. (Don't Fear) The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
10. A Fistful Of Terror - The Bomboras
11. Werewolves On Wheels - The Born Losers
12. Scary Monsters - David Bowie
    
13. The Munsters Theme - Comateens
14. Creature From The Black Leather Lagoon - The Cramps
15. I Put A Spell On You - Creedence Clearwater Revival
    
16. Smash It Up - The Damned
17. Black Shuck - The Darkness
18. Extrasensory Deception - Dave Allen & the Phantom Surfers
19. The Creature Stole My Surfboard - Dead Elvi
20. Halloween - Dead Kennedys
21. Psychic Voodoo Doll - Deadbolt
22. The End - The Doors
23. Halloween - The Dream Syndicate
24. Ribcage Mambo - Frenchy
25. Banshee Beach - The Ghastly Ones
26. Evil - Howlin' Wolf
27. Killer Wolf - The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
28. Dead Souls - Joy Division
29. Spooks Night Out - The Legendary Invisible Men
30. Jack The Ripper - Link Wray
31. The Munsters Theme - Los Straitjackets
32. Everyday Is Halloween - Ministry
33. Halloween - The Misfits
34. 19 Witches - Monster Magnet
35. Halloween - Mudhoney
36. (You Must Fight To Live) On The Planet Of The Apes - The Mummies
37. Teenagers From Mars - The Network
38. Frankenstein - New York Dolls
39. Up Jumped The Devil - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
40. Dead Man's Party - Oingo Boingo
41. Burn The Witch - Queens Of The Stone Age
42. Pet Sematary - Ramones
43. The Halloween Dance - Reverend Horton Heat
44. Dragula - Rob Zombie
45. Halloween (She Got So Mean) - Rob Zombie w/ The Ghastly Ones
46. I Drink Blood - Rocket From The Crypt
47. The Time Warp - The Rocky Horror Picture Show
48. Creature With The Atom Brain - Roky Erickson
49. Sympathy For The Devil - Rolling Stones
50. Gravewalk - Satan's Pilgrims
51. Halloween - Siouxsie & The Banshees
52. This Corrosion - The Sisters Of Mercy
53. Halloween - Sonic Youth
54. The Witch - The Sonics
55. Werewolf - Southern Culture On The Skids
56. Born With A Tail - Supersuckers
57. No Costume No Candy - Swingin' Neckbreakers
58. Boris The Spider - The Who
    
59. Werewolves Of London - Warren Zevon
60. The Number Of The Beast - Iron Maiden
    

As if to celebrate the season, Bauhaus are back on tour after 7 years. I'm sure alot of the local Goth Kidz spent their meth money on tickets for all 3 S.F. shows (including a Halloween shindig at The Fillmore), but one night of Goth was enough for Umlaut:

Bauhaus
The Warfield, San Francisco
October 26, 2005

Umlaut blew off the 1998 Bauhaus reunion tour and regretted it afterwards. It seems like alot of folks go through a "Bauhaus phase" during their formative years. Umlaut's "Bauhaus phase" was when I was a hungover English / Lit Major in the mid-80's. Baudelaire 'N Bauhaus. I was so fucking *deep* and reeking of LI-TER-RAH-CHA. I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.

You'll NEVER guess what color most of the crowd was wearing.... NOPE! It was BLACK. However, I committed a major Rock fashion faux pas by wearing a Who t-shirt to the show. Obviously, I had inadvertently aligned myself with The Mods, but no Brighton-style fisticuffs erupted. Thankfully, like North and South Korea, the uneasy truce between Mods and Goths remains intact.

Something else that wasn't very Goth was The Sheriff & Friends telling Umlaut about a fantastic new restaurant (Medicine on Sutter St.). No matter, Umlaut will dine there soon and will wear BLACK. That being said, have you noticed that most Goth musicians seem to age better than Southern Rock musicians? Discuss amongst yourselves.

The opening shot of Burning From The Inside > In The Flat Field made me want to break out the black lipstick. The band was amazingly tight and sounded phenomenal. I was completely locked into Daniel Ash and David J.'s musicianship. Damn if Daniel Ash isn't my new Guitar God after all these years.

It was cool to see the original Bauhaus lineup onstage with the original Love & Rockets lineup and 2/3 of Tones On Tail. I wonder how many smartass hipsters shouted out "Kundalini Express!" during the show. Leather jackets with the Love & Rockets Express artwork painted on the back = 1.

She's In Parties set off a frothy Goth frenzy that was made more entertaining by a trio of Goth girls on the main floor singing along, complete with Goth hand gestures. It's in the can. During the storming encore of Bela Lugosi's Dead > Slice Of Life > Telegram Sam > Ziggy Stardust I had a brief but very profound flashback of being 25-years old again. I was so fucking *deep* and reeking of LI-TER-RAH-CHA back then. However, I wasn't happy like I am now. I love when music reminds you to have perspective like that. I am your slice of life.

This was my 29th concert this year and I'm 5 behind my pace from this same time last year. I must be getting old. If you bought one of every Bauhaus merch item you would have paid $190. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. A girl on the main floor had a bright red mohawk and a boy had a bright purple mohawk. Too bad they weren't together.

Since Halloween comes but once a year, Umlaut should recount the Halloween gigs he's seen over the years:

Y&T / Motley Crue - Concord Pavilion, Concord, CA - Halloween 1982 - This was a couple of years before Y&T started wearing stupid stage clothes and writing stupid songs. I hated Motley Crue. My friends hated Motley Crue. We had front row seats and were flipping the Crue off as soon as they hit the stage. After several songs, Nikki Sixx stopped trying to win us over and flipped us off and challenged one (or all of us) to come onstage. None of us were that stupid. We continued to flip him off until one of their roadies came over and told us to stop or we'd be kicked out! What the fuck?! I still hate Motley Crue.

Metallica - The Keystone, Palo Alto, CA - Halloween 1983 - The show was sponsored by local Rock radio station KOME (R.I.P.) and a DJ hosted a lame costume contest. Cliff Burton (R.I.P.) watched it from the side of the stage. At the conclusion of Metallica's set, S.F. major rager Rich Birch (R.I.P.) came onstage with a sledgehammer ala the cover of the Kill 'Em All album (Pic by Umlaut). A classic moment. Old Metalheads will remember Rich's quote that was immortalized on the back cover of Kill 'Em All.

Sonic Youth - The Warfield, S.F. - Halloween 1990 - The band came onstage in costume. Kim was dressed in a tight catsuit. Thurston was a mummy. I can't remember how Steve and Lee were costumed. Thurston's costume was simply toilet paper wrapped around his head and street clothes. He started spinning around and around during a solo and the paper started unraveling off him. It looked cool. The lobby of The Warfield was filled with dry ice before the show and the inside was decorated for the occasion. They even handed out souvenir buttons at the door.

The Mummies - The Chameleon, S.F. - Halloween 1991 - The Mummies in The Mission on All Hallow's Eve! While making my way to the gig there was a mini-van on Mission St. that had obviously stopped for a traffic light when something went terribly wrong. It was abandoned in the middle of the street and all of its tires were slashed and all of the windows had been smashed. TRICK! The Mummies ruled.

The Cramps - Bimbo's, S.F. - Halloween 1993 - They were billed as The Creatures from the Black Leather Lagoon (HA HA). A guy in the crowd was in costume as a giant can of beer. The costume was made out of cardboard and at one point he jumped into the pit and started dancing / thrashing around. The band even took notice of the giant dancing / thrashing can of beer as they played. A few moments later there was a small eruption in the crowd and the cardboard came flying up in the air and landed on the stage at Lux's feet. I didn't see what happened to the guy. Twas one of the funniest things I've ever seen at a show.

The Strokes / Mooney Suzuki - Bill Graham Civic, S.F. - Halloween 2001 - Miatomic and Umlaut made fun of Mooney Suzuki (for good reason). The Strokes played their hits. We sat next to Electra Woman but the dominant costume seemed to be Aloof Scenester with cigarette.

Trivia: Umlaut has dressed in drag twice for Halloween. Once as Yoko Ono and another time as a Flight Attendant (complete with fishnet stockings and makeup). Yes, there are pictures. No, you can't see them.


The Halloween Monster House of San Rafael (Pic by Umlaut)

"Bonfires burning bright,
Pumpkin faces in the night,
I remember Halloween."
- The Misfits

Obligatory Election 2004 Epilogue

"When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth."

I'm proud to say that Haggis Buffet / Umlaut stayed above the fray and only reported what Satan told us to:

Bloggers Said to Blame for Bad Poll Info

We now return to regular Umlaut programming.

-----

Submitted by Heather:

The Cramps
The Warfield, S.F.
Halloween 2004

The Cramps were cool as always. Lux is so HOT! I'm so in love with him. Ivy was gorgeous also.

I had an extra ticket with me and there was this (authentic!) tough punk chick that somehow got into that section and was in our seats. They tried to get her to leave and she wasn't gonna go down without a fight. When the bouncers came thay said "Lemme see your ticket!" and so I gave her the extra ticket. It was meant to be.

I had a bad cold and I put my back out sneezing and had to walk with a cane!

The unfortunate part was that the sound person fucked up the sound SO BAD that it was intolerable and people were leaving! I left early also and on the way out, I poked the sound person in the back with my cane to get her attention and I told her it sounded AWFUL and she flipped me off. I in turn, flipped HER off then went to find some management. They told me it was the BAND'S soundperson, and there was nothing they could do and that I should call The Guardian.

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ADDENDUM - Nov. 4, 2004

After a couple of days to reflect upon Election 2004, Umlaut felt it was time to make a change. So, I ditched the venerable circa 1992 7" single cardboard storage box:



For a sleek 21st Century corrugated plastic 7" single storage box that is chaste of any political affiliation:



As Bono once (sort of) said before he became UN Ambassador to Narcissus: "It's a box drained of all colors.." This 7" single storage box is not a rebel 7" single storage box.

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EPILOGUE TO THE EPILOGUE - Nov. 5, 2004

I suppose as a Lefty Liberal this week was a reality check. I guess God might not be a bargain bin act after all. Who woulda thunk?! He's been repackaged and rereleased with bonus tracks!

I suppose you could say I regained my perspective on life today... and I did so via an unplanned 3-point method:

POINT 1: It began with a leave-work-early screening of The Incredibles. Straight up: I LOVED IT.. which the Cheesehead Duo can attest to. It truly emasculated the silly new Star Wars trailer that proceeded it. Too bad their licensing doesn't include very cool action figures..

POINT 2: My journey then shifted to S.F.'s lovely Tenderloin and the Golden Era Restaurant. An incredibly great meal followed... Which included fine conversation and the sharing of Lock 'N Loll war stories and gossip with Merch Guy, Kamehameha, and Diamond Head ("The teacher?! Really?!") . An all around meal most excellent. A nice cherry on top was seeing the same guy I saw at Dio last week who was wearing the same denim vest with the large Slayer - Hell Awaits patch on the back. In Nomine Satanic Vegetarians! "Angels fighting aimlessly.. Still dying by the sword.." SLAYER... Now more than ever.

POINT 3: Then it was across town for the obligatory Rock Show:

DRUNK HORSE / ACID KING
12 Galaxies, S.F.

Two of S.F.'s finest kickin' it live in my old 'hood.. Acid King threw up a wall of sound unequaled by any band who are like family to me. So many beers and burritos have been killed in the bloody juggernaut I've cut with them over the years... Drunk Horse are Southern Rock without the Confederate inbreeding.. They're like the South back when the South voted Democrat (obligatory Election 2004 analogy). Earlier I said how this week had seen God rereleased and remastered... But so has Acid King, with their classic Busse Woods CD rechromed and detailed. Nice. Beer count = 2. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenage crack whores called me a fag. My trusty companion, the iPod, once again proved that it's my soulmate by randomly playing Black Sabbath / Dio's 'Heaven & Hell' once the Jetta was fired up... The lyrics were quite apt as the theme song for this week:

"They say that life's a carousel, spinning fast you've got to ride it well.
The world is full of Kings and Queens, who blind your eyes and steal your dreams.. It's Heaven and Hell..."

"They'll tell you black is really white, the moon is just the sun at night.. And when you walk in Golden Halls you get to keep the gold that falls.. It's Heaven and Hell.."

Today was also my mommy's birthday. Yes, I called her. She told me she loved me.

Peace out.

"You've got to bleed for the Dancer.."

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Umlaut celebrated All Hallow's Eve at The Amazing Monster House:

Umlaut with The Host.....

"Bonfires burning bright,
Pumpkin faces in the night,
I remember Halloween."
- The Misfits

Thanks to dear Umlaut friends M. & S. for hosting another great Halloween! It's not often you see small children terrified to approach a house because they think it will eat them... Excellent.

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Halloween 2004 Epilogue

The old lady who lived across the street from us died at around 8:00pm on Halloween night. She passed in her sleep while her live-in caretaker handed out candy to kids.

She was 98 years old and the quintessential scary neighborhood old lady. Whenever someone parked in front of her house she would come out and yell at them. When she talked I could hear her clearly from across the street since she always talked in an extremely loud, high pitched voice. The guy who lived next door to her said she didn't want him touching the fence in between their houses. If she saw him touching or working near the fence she'd yell at him. She used to wander up and down the street, stopping to stare at people or houses. Sometimes I'd see her gazing ghost-like out of her front window.

Soon after we moved into the house I was in the front yard mowing the lawn or something. I had my back to the street and kept hearing this scraping sound. I didn't pay attention to it since I was preoccupied, but the sound continued for awhile and then stopped.

I turned around and almost had a heart attack because the old lady was standing right behind me. She held a shovel in one hand...

The lady stood under 5 feet tall and talked VERY loudly to me. She began a rambling monologue that careened from yard work, to her dead dog, to some past event in the neighborhood, to her dead son. I noticed she was missing a thumb on one of her hands.

Our "conversation" lasted several minutes and I couldn't figure out if she was welcoming me to the neighborhood or asking me to dig a hole for her with the shovel. Whatever the case, she turned around and made her way back across the street, dragging the shovel behind her... The sound of the metal on asphalt echoed in her wake.

I hope she rests in peace.