Back in the 20th Century, ümlaut was a xeroxed fanzine that existed from 1992-95. Despite limited distribution, loyal readers ranged from coast to coast and included Rock Stars of various credibility, including Neurosis, Sonic Youth, Melvins, and Metallica. This 21st Century version of ümlaut has been ranting since 2004 and is also the co-author of the book Murder In The Front Row.
Showing posts with label Cannibal Corpse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cannibal Corpse. Show all posts
To observe International Day of Slayer 2010, Umlaut wore a Slayer shirt as he ran errands on a muggy Sunday. Nobody acknowledged it all afternoon... until the final stop of the day at Whole Foods:
Teen Whole Foods Bagger: (Looking at my Slayer shirt) Do you like Slayer?
Umlaut: Yes... Do you?
Teen Whole Foods Bagger: Not really...
(At this point I was about to blow the kid off when...)
Teen Whole Foods Bagger: They're too Thrashy for me. My favorite band is Cannibal Corpse.
The kid then went off about why Cannibal Corpse rules as he efficiently put our groceries into bags; the 2007 Slim's show with The Black Dahlia Murder was the best concert he's ever seen. I was impressed... but I think Skychick's eyes started to glaze over because she's not Metal.
The Man (TM): Hey, where did you get that shirt? Do you mind if my girlfriend takes a photo of it?
Kid Vendor: I got it on Haight Street. Yeah go for it.
Kid Vendor: I hate all that shit they sell at Hot Topic; I like the album tee shirts.I'm looking for a Reign In Blood tee. (Puts his iPod earbuds back in..)
TM: What are you listening to?
Kid Vendor: Cannibal Corpse.
Umlaut says: Ummm, maybe June 6th should be Cannibal Corpse Day next year... Just saying.
I know... The title of this post is way too obvious but what else do you expect on THE Hispanic day of the year? Plus, there's something ironic about seeing a group of drunk white guys wearing sombreros and fake moustaches waiting to get into a Metal show. Anyway, this was a rock solid bill on paper and it would have been hard for it to fail in real life. As I arrived at Slim's there was a parking spot on the street, but I noticed some shattered car window glass in the gutter. A voice in the back of my head told me not to park there, so I opted for the pay lot instead... and the lesson here is to listen to those voices in your head... but more on this later.
Slim's was jam packed sold out and you knew it was going to be a "good" night in that room because the floor was wet from condensation and spilled drinks. However, a bullet belt made out of small caliber bullets isn't really a bullet belt even when it's worn by a skinny girl.. I'm just saying.
Skeletonwitch: Skeletonwitch and Umlaut haven't been in the same room since they played a "secret" show at The Knockout on Mission Street back in, like, November 2008... so it's been awhile. I have to say 'Beyond The Permafrost' was the song highlight of the night for me; the song's intro plays to a Metal hungry crowd perfectly... and the guys from Ohio are a good example of a band of Road Dogs who have sharpened their craft through months of touring and drinking beer on and offstage. Chance was equally impressive working the crowd as he was chugging Budweisers onstage. Although Skeletonwitch were my favorite band of the night, I hate to say it, but watching Chance chug Budweisers was like watching a dude chug bottled water... but that's because Umlaut is a Beer Snob. In between bands I discovered that Ted of Death Angel knows me by name... Kill as one!
1349: 1349 and Umlaut haven't been in the same room since they opened for the mighty Celtic Frost at The Fillmore back in, like, October 2006... so it's been awhile. 1349 exudes that real deal Norwegian vibe but, let's be honest, if they were from Sacramento and came onstage dressed like that they'd be hilarious. However, since everyone knows all men in Norway wear corpse paint (and every woman in Norway is tall and blond) their vibe is legit. It was funny watching Frost set up his drums wearing his corpse paint and then Seidemann arrived onstage wearing a robe with the hood pulled over his corpse painted face and Ravn came onstage wearing the same vintage Celtic Frost shirt that he wore onstage in 2006 at The Fillmore. Like I said, if 1349 were from Sacramento the costumes would not be as effective.
Unfortunately, as I've said in this space before, Slim's has probably the worst sound of any venue in town because of the restriction they have on their volume levels; it's ridiculous. A show like this should have a volume level that you can feel in your clothes, but generally it's so low you can literally have a normal conversation with someone, especially at the back of the room. Archaon's guitar tone was lost in the ether most of the time, but the band's Norwegian Star Power carried the set. Yes, I couldn't put a title to any 1349 song if I heard it (Sorry.. just being honest..) but it's not often you get to see real life Norwegians up close on this side of the planet. The only real bummer during the set was Robb Flynn of Machine Head invading my personal space... but it was all good. Have you ever had Norwegian black licorice?? It's NASTY. In between bands, Machine Head bought me a beer.
Cannibal Corpse: Cannibal Corpse and Umlaut haven't been in the same room since the 48 Hours Of Mayhem last Summer since I missed their set at Scion Fest in March... so it's been awhile. As Cannibal Corpse took the stage I pulled out my camera and I had 666 shots left on the memory card... METAL! The last time that happened was at Tidal Wave 11. CC always bring it live but Pat was especially on fire with his lead work... and as he lit up the hot and sweaty crowd with his fretboard brutality I couldn't help thinking back on how cool he'd been to Photo Ray and I at Scion Fest. Also, the audience participation at Cannibal Corpse shows are always heartwarming reminders of how Metal can bring sweaty people together.
(Yes, I know... Umlaut needs a new camera.. one that does low light situations better, etc. etc.)
FYI: Umlaut is NOT going to be like everyone else and make a comment on the size of Corpsegrinder's neck or how much he headbangs onstage. Old news, kidz. Every Metalhead knows that Cannibal Corpse loves and respects the ladies... and it was fucking romantic when Corpsegrinder did the unexpected and dedicated 'Priests Of Sodom' to all the ladies in the room instead of 'Fucked With A Knife'. Do you hear that? That's the sound of the 6 or 7 females in the room swooning...
There was a Jello sighting (the first in awhile) and I also witnessed an awkward Machine Head sandwich; I felt kind of sorry for "the meat" in that sandwich, but it was special I guess. As I was leaving I stopped to say "Hey / Hi" to my old Metal brutha Gary Holt... who happens to be on the cover of the current issue of Decibel. You gotta support the locals, man... Always.
If you bought one of every Cannibal Corpse merch item you would have paid around $400. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. As I said at the start of this rant, when I arrived at Slim's there was a parking spot on the street, but I noticed some shattered car window glass in the gutter. A voice in the back of my head told me not to park there, so I opted for the pay lot. After the show I noticed that the car that had taken that parking spot had its passenger side window smashed. Thank you Inner Voice! Wait... what are you saying now? Kill!? Kill who?? Oh..... Okay!!
Mayhem Tour Sleep Train Amphitheatre, Marysville, CA July 10, 2009
A Metal Road Trip with Umlaut's music journalist friends Photo Ray and Hard Rock Chick (HRC)!! SPECIAL! Sometimes arriving early at a big festival seems like a good idea until you actually do it... especially when you have to travel over 100 miles to bumfuck Marysville and its scorched Earth Summer heat. I think the weather forecast for the day was "blow torch with a chance of lava.." I was too fried from spending all day under the hot Marysville White Trash Summer Sun to do a "proper" review of this day, so I'm simply going to do a Harper's Index style list:
Times I heard a band say "pit" or "circle pit" to the audience = 7
Behemoth: I was half expecting the Poles to melt under the intense heat of the afternoon, but their Black Metal makeup didn't run and they blasted through a great set. However, I have to admit it was almost more entertaining seeing them backstage afterwards sans makeup... and I know HRC will agree with me.
Bullet For My Valentine: My 4th time seeing the Welsh Rock Stars and I still like them despite the fact they tend to remind me of my past professional history. No, Bullet are not Emo despite their name... and '4 Words (To Choke Upon)' is still a good song. Does that make me a Poser? Oh well...
Cannibal Corpse: This was the best set of the day for pure uncut Metal brutality; the pit action was intense and magnified by the heat like ants under a magnifying glass. At one point it was obvious someone was down in The Pit, but it took forever for the medical staff to arrive with a stretcher and fight their way to the injured. It was the only time during the day that the intensity of the crowd matched the intensity of the music.. cue 'Fucked With A Knife'.
Killswitch Engage: I watched their set on the t.v. monitors in the VIP bar... unlike the last time I saw them, at least the guitarist didn't brag about being a pedophile in between songs.. but I can't imagine they were much better in person versus the t.v. monitors. Plus, they somehow think it's cool to wear those novelty t-shirts with a tuxedo printed on the front onstage.. NOT Metal. Slayer: The masters opened with 'God Hates Us All' > 'War Ensemble'... AND they're playing 'Ghosts Of War' on this tour! Despite the GA floor, this was probably the tamest Slayer crowd I've ever seen; about 1/2 of the people around me were sitting down! WTF... but the band's solid 60 minute set was awesome as usual.. There were no Marshall cabinets arranged into upside down crosses onstage this time, but they made up for it with FIRE:
Slayer!! Fire! (Vid by Umlaut)
I've been following Slayer since Day One... and I still love them long time. Awww...
(Sidebar: Umlaut needs to upgrade his point & shoot camera to one with (1) a better microphone that can handle high volume levels and (2) one that is good with low light situations sans flash. If anyone has brand / model suggestions please e-mail me!)
Marilyn Manson: I completely missed his set because Paschke invited me to visit the Angel Of Death's tour bus with him, where that band's new album was played for us. Yes, it's FUCKING GREAT!!!
For the second time within a week this concert was also punctuated by a weird encounter with an "ex" from my professional life... which was a bit awkward.. but it was a good thing I had business cards with me. Fook 'em.
Holy shite, the drive back from bumfuck Marysville is brutal... Cheers to Photo Ray for driving; I owe you one! I didn't even bother doing a merch audit. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. As I pulled off the freeway towards Casa de Umlaut my normal route was blocked by some heavy police activity around the local gas station... Friday Night Crimes!
Mayhem Tour Shoreline Amphitheatre, Mountain View, CA July 11, 2009
Since I wanted to coordinate my arrival with some colleagues, I was able to hang out and chill at Casa de Umlaut for most of the afternoon. Although the previous day had been good, this was a different Mayhem experience than bumfuck Marysville.. It was a more relaxed day for me, mainly because some underlying professional drama that had distracted me in bumfuck Marysville was basically resolved in Mountain View. Longtime readers know that I live to see concerts, but I can't remember the last time I was in such a good mood at a show. Anyway, here's the long and the short of the day from my perspective:
Behemoth: I arrived too late to see their set, but as I entered the backstage common area the Poles were eating sans makeup. I was taken aback that these beings, who appear to be inhuman Metal Gods onstage, eat common food like mere mortals and even use common human eating utensils. Shocking...
Job For A Cowboy: They're not necessarily bad, but I've never been able to get past their name...
Trivium: I've never liked this band, even when they were helping to pay my mortgage... and I thought it was funny that the bassist is all short-haired and GQ now when he used to try so hard to be Metal.
Bullet For My Valentine: While attempting to get to the side of the stage to watch Bullet's set we had to deal with a clueless venue security person who didn't understand the meaning of "All Access". However, Bullet's set paled in comparison to their bassist's chick stalking moves later that night...
Dude, the crowd was out of control!! It was the only time during the day that the intensity of the crowd matched the intensity of the music.. cue 'Fucked With A Knife'.
Killswitch Engage: I watched their set on the t.v. monitors in the Angel Of Death's dressing room... but I can't imagine they were much better in person versus the t.v. monitors. Plus, they somehow think it's cool to wear those novelty t-shirts with a tuxedo printed on the front onstage.. NOT Metal.
Note: At this point I must give a HUGE THANKS to HRC for upgrading me to the 3rd row!
Slayer: They say a picture is worth 1,000 words... well here is one thousand words about Slayer from this night..
Kerry King amid fire and smoke onstage from the 3rd row (Pic by Umlaut)
I can't remember the last time I watched Slayer from this close with the volume from the PA moving my clothes.. According to the Umlaut Archives this was at least my 17th time seeing Slayer dating back to 1984... and I'm pretty sure I said "Amazing!" out loud after almost every song.. with the set closing sprint of 'Angel Of Death' > 'South Of Heaven' > 'Raining Blood' being one of the highlights of my year. In addition to my senses being assaulted from the stage, my head was spinning (in a good way) about the professional drama that had basically been resolved during the day. I actually got kind of emotional as I thought about that drama and the juxtaposition of it with fucking Slayer being onstage right in front of me again. Yes, I'm the type of sensitive guy who can get emotional about Slayer. Does that make me a pussy? If so, then let me be guilty..
Marilyn Manson: I hadn't seen Manson live in 12 years and was not planning to watch his entire set, but since I found myself in the 3rd row I got caught up in the moment. I suppose Manson is trying to create theater onstage, and since I was in such a good mood I went with it. Some of the shtick was silly of course, like having a roadie give him a bottle of water, take only ONE sip every time, and then either throw it down or give / toss it to someone in the front row; I regret not counting how many times he did that. Kudos to any of the Manson Kidz in the front row who got one of the water bottles;they now have some Manson DNA for their collection and / or Ebay.
Manson amid confetti and smoke from the 3rd row (Pic by Umlaut)
There were also a couple of "wardrobe people" onstage who would alternately bring Manson different stage clothes or props and / or an oxygen tank so he could take a hit. Silly.. but in the end I was surprised that I actually enjoyed his set, although I only knew 2 songs.
For the third time within a week this concert was also punctuated by a weird encounter with an "ex" from my professional life... which was a bit awkward.. but it was a good thing I had business cards with me. Fook 'em.
Then it was time to go home and sleep! I didn't do a merch audit again. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. As I started the drive back to Casa de Umlaut, my iPod on shuffle played 'South Of Heaven'. So... fucking... perfect.. Dude, the lyrics perfectly reflect events that are going on in Umlaut's World right now. To quote the mighty Slayer:
"An unforeseen future nestled somewhere in time.. Unsuspecting victims, no warnings, no signs.. Judgement Day, the second coming arrives..."
Kid Vendor: I hate all that shit they sell at Hot Topic; I like the album tee shirts. I'm looking for a Reign In Blood tee. (Puts his iPod earbuds back in..)
