Co-Worker: "Wasn't Kennedy shot in Dallas?"
Me: "No, he was shot in the head..."
My co-worker kinda didn't laugh.
Ooops.

"Kennedy’s shattered head hits concrete.. Ride, Johnny ride.."
- From 'Bullet' by The Misfits
I'm going to Hell, aren't I?
Back in the 20th Century, ümlaut was a xeroxed fanzine that existed from 1992-95. Despite limited distribution, loyal readers ranged from coast to coast and included Rock Stars of various credibility, including Neurosis, Sonic Youth, Melvins, and Metallica. This 21st Century version of ümlaut has been ranting since 2004 and is also the co-author of the book Murder In The Front Row.