Monday, July 23, 2007

Working For The Weekend

OzzFest 2007
Shoreline Amphitheatre, Mt. View, CA
July 19, 2007

I must admit that most of the time I like my job alot, but that doesn't mean I wanted to spend all day getting sunburned at an amphitheater for it... Which is why I chose to spend most of my day at the office instead of seeing any of the 2nd Stage acts. Besides, the 2nd Stage headliners Hatebreed are represented by an entity that contributed greatly to the jaggedness that dominated the first quarter of Umlaut's year, so fuck 'em.

Years of combat experience allowed Timo and I to time our arrival perfectly to coincide with the Main Stage starting... and for once Will Call was a completely painless experience. The successful planning made me feel like the 339th Squadron after they successfully intercepted Admiral Yamamoto in 1943.

I was wearing an Iron Maiden shirt (For The Geeks: 2006 Tour short sleeve. Benjamin Breeg art on front / tour dates on back..); as we walked through the concourse, a kid coming from the opposite direction saw my shirt and shouted "MAIDEN SUCKS!" Really?? I didn't get that memo, dude.. So, like, FUCK OFF 'cause, like, MAIDEN RULES!! Anyway.....

LORDI: They were the only band on the bill who had pyro, which I found odd... They had pyro AND they played in the middle of the fucking afternoon! Their stage show resembled a backyard barbecue gone awry; they could have saved on production costs and simply had a dozen Smokey Joes and some Roman candles onstage and gotten the same effect.

I think the coals are ready... Which one is the veggie grill?
(Pic by Umlaut)

If you're gonna rip off GWAR you gotta do better than that, stupid Finnish band.

I only saw them when I turned my head towards the video monitor at the bar.

LAMB OF GOD: LOG made my day away from the office worthwhile; a very brutalicious live band who completely owns OzzFest '07. A kid a couple of rows in front of us wore himself out during their set. Literally! After the band left the stage the kid passed out in his chair. Metal.

Next time pace yourself, kid!
(Pic by Umlaut)

I was thinking it must be easy for bands to play OzzFest since they don't have to remember what city they're in... They can simply scream "OZZFEST!! HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU!!?"... but at least LOG name checked some local San Francisco venues they played in the past, like The Pound and Slim's. The set closing 'Redneck' > 'Black Label' caused kids from the back rows to storm the prime seats, which was pretty Metal; I'm sure that bit of spontaneity helped LOG sell a few more t-shirts after their set.

OZZY: We bailed after 4 songs. The self-proclaimed Prince Of Darkness had water cannons mounted in the lighting rig to spray the crowd and he also blasted the front rows with a hose that shot soapy foam. Ozzy also had his now-trademark buckets of water onstage to throw on himself and the crowd... Was this a Rock concert or a fucking kids show on Nickelodeon?? Metal? Nope.

Yes, OzzFest 2007 was free.. but parking was still $20 and the crappy Shoreline concession "food" Timo and I ate out of hungry desperation cost $30. Still, the show itself was free, although the bill reflected the ticket price. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. A dude wearing a Nickelback shirt didn't get his ass kicked by anyone; my "Metal self" thought "WTF?" while my "Work self" thought "Whew!" since, for better or worse, Nickelback helps to pay my mortgage.....

"Everybody's working for the weekend, everybody wants a second chance..."