Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Does Anybody Remember Laughter?

I got home from work after being stuck in the worst commute traffic in recent memory and my mind was in overdrive. My head has been very random of late and from out of that mental smoke machine came this thought:


I hope no one mentioned here is embarrassed about being associated with Umlaut's borderline psychotic geek memories.. but it's only Lock 'N Loll:
  • Amy H. - Bob Dylan. The first and only "boss" I've ever had who understood when I said that 'Isis' is my favorite Dylan song. Also, the only person I've ever had conversations with about Tarantula while on a beach.
  • Big Wayne - Metallica. I was at my friend Rich's house circa 1982 and Big Wayne showed up; I can't remember how he knew Rich. Big Wayne had a boombox and was blasting a demo tape by a band called Metallica... Up until that moment I thought Rich and I were the only souls in the Silicon Valley who knew about that garage band from L.A..
  • Chris H. - Nick Cave. I was working at a pre-Dot.com database company in a sterile office building.. To brighten my 9-to-5 world I tacked up a Nick Cave promo poster in my cubicle. Not long after I that, Chris came to my cubicle to introduce himself because he'd noticed my poster and was a Cave fanatic too... and that's how I met Chris, a seasoned bagpipe player who later performed AC/DC's 'It's A Long Way To The Top' with another co-worker's band at the company picnic.
  • Dalia - Y&T. We met in the front row at numerous Y&T club shows back in our salad days... and we can still recite all of the lyrics from the Earthshaker album.. which is kinda frightening.
  • Drunk Ted - The Fluid. I had met Drunk Ted's then-girlfriend when she was visiting S.F.. If I remember correctly, she introduced Drunk Ted to the xeroxed Umlaut and also informed me that he was a big fan of The Fluid like myself. At the time Drunk Ted had a regular column in the legendary Flipside and he'd plug Umlaut at every opportunity (which I appreciate to this day); he also sent me some Fluid bootlegs and demos. In a crazy plot twist, 9 years earlier Drunk Ted had also read Umlaut's Metal fanzine Whiplash! The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways.
  • Ginger - Ramones. The only reason why I started talking to her in Lit classes at S.F. State was because she always wore a Ramones shirt.
  • H82WAD - Fastway. I was talking to his sister via cell while he drove them somewhere in the Midwest. She said they were listening to one of her brother's old mix tapes from the 80's and Fastway was playing... and I couldn't remember the last time I'd met someone who even knew who Fastway was...
  • Joey - Led Zeppelin. I went to a party at Jayne's old flat on Sutter St. in S.F.; she had been telling me for months that Joey was someone "I had to meet".. Joey was at the party wearing a Zeppelin t-shirt. Our first conversation was about John Bonham.
  • John Silence - Metallica. John was with Big Wayne on that fateful afternoon.
  • Lori - Melvins. I was sitting on a barstool at The Chameleon (R.I.P.) on Valencia St. in S.F. and Lori came up to me and said "I saw you at the Melvins show last night." Many adventures ensued.
  • Miatomic - The Long Ryders. We were co-workers on The Death Star and one afternoon we started talking about music... which inexplicably led to The Long Ryders... and I couldn't remember the last time I'd met someone who even knew who The Long Ryders were... Shenanigans ensued.
  • Skychick - Iggy Pop. I randomly sat down next to Skychick at Mad Dog In The Fog on Haight St. in S.F. because there were no other open seats. I had never met anyone in her profession before, let alone one who had met Iggy Pop... Many, many adventures ensued.
  • Ted - Nick Cave. Back in the days when Umlaut was a xeroxed 'zine, I made a friend at Kinko's named Jason (R.I.P.), who also happened to be program director at KUSF. One day I mentioned to Jason how I sure would like to find some "archival audio" of Nick Cave and Jason said he had a friend who could help me... Not long after that at Bottom of the Hill in S.F., Jason introduced me to Ted... and the rest is history.
  • Teri - Y&T. The lesson that I've learned from this space is that you never know who will read my rants. Case in point: I received an e-mail from someone named Teri responding to my Y&T rant. Long story short: In a crazy small world coincidence it turned out that Teri was old friends with Umlaut Nation officer Timo!! AND she hadn't been in touch with Timo in almost 20 years! Wow, right? To top it off, Teri and I had been at many of the same concerts back in The Day. It was definitely a very special episode of Umlaut.
  • The Sheriff - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. I'd corresponded with The Sheriff for almost 2 years (!) before we actually met face-to-face... and not long after that our mutual admiration for BRMC made itself known... and that's how I bonded with a real life Super Hero.
  • Todd - Neurosis. Todd was tour manager. I was a friend of the band. Todd enabled my behavior with the guest list and drink tickets while on The Road with that 'Lil 'Ol Band from The East Bay... I seem to remember Seattle > rental car > Vancouver > rental car > marijuana > Seattle > missing the flight home; I think that's what happened...
  • Tour Manager Doug - Krokus. The legend is that we met in line at a Krokus show... I honestly don't remember.. but I like that legend so I'll stick to that story.
  • Vickie S. - Cheap Trick. We met because of "another" band, but during a random conversation discovered our mutual geekdom about Rockford's finest. An epic night ensued.
Now, I know I've left people off this "list", but please don't take it personally! My memory can be scary, but it's not perfect. If it bothers you, just remind me of "our" special band and I'll add it to this space; I have a feeling this might be the start of one of those perpetual Umlaut posts.