Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Destruction / Krisiun
Slim's, San Francisco
March 23, 2009

Achtung! What should we do before seeing a legendary German Thrash Metal band like Destruction to celebrate a birthday (Birthday Boy = Umlaut's brutha Dave...)?? Why, have a pre-show dinner at a place called Schnitzelhaus of course! Which was the plan..... except Schnitzelhaus decided to close on Mondays and not announce it on their web site (Dummkopf!). However, a backup German restaurant popped into our heads and the Umlaut crew ended up at Walzwerk instead. It was funny that we had a "backup" German restaurant: METAL! After our triumphant Teutonic meal, we few... we happy few.. made our way to Slim's.

Of course, given the METAL nature of the show, the Umlaut Nation was out in force.. so a shout out to Birthday Boy Dave, Lori, Timo, Johnny, Rich, Ray, Alan, Taija, Tom, and Gary... and Jenn was in the house but I failed to see her. DOH.

To be honest, I was mainly there to see the Brazilian Metal Gods Krisiun, who I've never seen before despite the fact they've been pounding Metal for almost 20 years now (I know, I'm a poser!). Question for people my age: Remember the first time you saw Metallica, Slayer, or Sepultura back in The Day and they had that hungry look in their eyes that said "Day jobs are NOT an option for us!".. THAT'S what you see in Krisiun's eyes onstage... and the fact that the band is made up of 3 brothers makes their "us against the world" vibe all the more legitimate.

Another question for people my age: Remember the first time you heard or saw Randy Rhoads play back in The Day? THAT'S how I felt watching Moyses play; I can't remember the last time I watched a guitarist's fingers literally blur across his strings as he stabbed an audience with notes. Unbelievable.. It made me angry that so many people were at home on this Monday night pushing plastic buttons on a fake guitar instead of standing next to me supporting a legitimate Guitar Hero like Moyses and his brothers.

Destruction has been around forever and they sounded alright, but after Krisiun's Brazilian juggernaut I simply could not get into the old Germans. I spent most of their set chatting with Old Metal Tom, who I've known for over 25 years (!); we even talked through the drum solo... I know... drum solo?! What year is this again? Sorry, but I like my CHEESE on some nice crackers with a glass of red wine and not onstage these days. However, I was paying attention when the Germans dedicated a song to Baloff, which acted as a nice segue into me introducing Birthday Boy Dave to Gary Holt, who I've known for over 25 years (!). Yes, there were quite a few old Metalheads in the house.

The Guitarist > The Birthday Boy

It was a bummer that Slim's was only half full for these two veteran bands. When you see seasoned bands like Destruction and Krisiun you realize just how crappy most of the newer Metal bands are these days. Note to new bands: If you're in a Metal band you should have long hair. No haircuts! Long hair is what separates METAL from the Punks and Jocks.. There, I said it.

If you bought one of every Krisiun merch item you would have paid around $120. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. I just want to state publicly that I hope the rumors about Slim's closing are not true, but the fact that the club has to adhere to a volume restriction is not a good sign.

Click HERE to see Taija Lynn's Krisiun photos from the show.