Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Dead Flowers

"When you’re sitting there in your silk upholstered chair, talking to some rich folks that you know. Well I hope you won’t see me in my ragged company..."

Back in May, Umlaut was amused by the announcement of the latest Rolling Stones Tour and the ridiculous ticket prices:

Rocks Off

Keith Richards with Jack & Coke - U.S. Tour - 1972

While flipping t.v. channels last night I caught a commercial for the upcoming Stones U.S. Tour sponsored by...... Ameriquest Mortgage!?? Lock 'N Loll?

Ameriquest lends Stones tour support

Now, Umlaut isn't opposed to a band getting money via sponsorships. Hey, if it helps them stay on the road instead of flipping burgers that's cool. However, when a band associates itself with something that is so horrifyingly unrelated to music, then you know how far that band has gone terribly wrong.

I mean, OzzFest is underwritten by Jaegermeister... but you must admit that it makes far more sense for fans to get promo OzzFest Jaeger shots at a concert as opposed to promo Stones mortgage amortization schedules... Right?

Really, how Lock 'N Loll does this sound:

"It has advertising, event marketing, and you'll see different PR, promotion and direct mail components," he says. "This has a lot of touchpoints with the consumer, and each one of these cross-pollinates very well."

Perhaps the underlying message here is that in order to afford 2005 Stones tickets you should take out a 2nd mortgage on your house.

This is the same band who, in their heyday, released albums titled Goat Heads Soup and Their Satanic Majesties Request and who sang lyrics like "You're a starfucker, starfucker, starfucker star (yes you are)...".

I doubt the executives at Ameriquest are even aware of the inner sleeve of Goat Heads Soup with the glorious color photo of a goat's head boiling in a pot of blood and offal.

I know, I know.. It's only the Stones. Black Sabbath meant FAR more to me growing up than the Stones ever did. Also, since we're all friends here (and in the spirit of full disclosure), I will freely admit that while I worship Iron Maiden, my current favorite album is the new one by Oasis... So p'raps this is all a case of the pot calling the kettle black? Discuss amongst yourselves.

"Say it with dead flowers at my wedding, and I won’t forget to put roses on your grave..."