Monday, July 11, 2005

Gettin' Jiggy With It

Most of you probably aren't aware of the controversy surrounding this year's OzzFest (which kicks off this week). At first I thought it was one of those Internet jokes, but it turns out that Jada Pinkett Smith (aka wife of Will "The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air" Smith) and her "Metal" band Wicked Wisdom really are opening the OzzFest's 2nd Stage.

In early reports, Pinkett Smith said that her husband might join her band on the OzzFest stage and that "He's really become a real metalhead lately. He wanted to get in the pit. Now he's all excited and wants to be down with it."

"Wants to be down with it"?? Me thinks The Matrix went to Jada's head. We can only hope that Nu Metal versions of "Gettin' Jiggy With It" or "Parents Just Don't Understand" aren't in the works.

Reportedly, Wicked Wisdom's limited live experience includes a stint opening for Britney Spears' 2004 European Tour (Err.. note to self.. this is NOT the way to gain Metal Cred..). Sharon Osbourne responded to the Metal community's criticism by saying in an interview "I totally respect that the band wants to pay their dues playing the second stage on Ozzfest."

Sharon's definition of "paying their dues" sure is different than my vision of that term. A "friend of a friend" is on the OzzFest crew and reports that Wicked Wisdom are bringing their own chef, 3 tour buses, and 10 security guards. All for a 20 minute set at 9:30am in the morning.

As Tour Manager Doug put it "At least she can rest assured that 11 people will be watching her show."

I always thought "paying your dues" involved 5-6 people crammed into an unreliable van for 6,000 miles, meals at 7-11, head lice, having your equipment stolen while parked overnight at a Motel 6, and playing shithole dives in bumfuck nowhere. At least that's what Get In The Van told us... but of course Rollins is a mainstream media personality now so maybe he made it all up.

On that note:

Corrosion Of Conformity / Fu Manchu / Alabama Thunderpussy - Slim's, S.F. - July 10, 2005

I've lost count of how many times I've seen Fu Manchu.. but it's well into double digits. Still my favorite RAWK band and I was happy to say I was only there to see them. It seems like Umlaut and Lori Acid King are the only ones who fly the Fu Flag these days. I have no idea what the rest of you are doing now. It's like I don't even know you anymore! Fu still lays it down like few other bands so it's your loss, man. They also play songs that are shouted out from the crowd and I challenge you to name another band who still does that.

Watching some of the shaved head angry boys in the crowd I could tell they didn't like Fu 'cause you can't really beat up or date rape someone to their music.. However I did notice one shaved head angry boy start to nod his head to Fu after about 3 songs... Now all he's gotta do is grow his hair out and he'll be on the road to recovery.

We left before C.O.C... If you've seen C.O.C. at least once since 1996 that's about all you need IMO. Plus, I wasn't in the mood to get in touch with my inner shaved head angry boy. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. A surgically precise night: Walked into Slim's at around 9:15pm.. Walked back into the house at around 11:00pm. Ate a bowl of cereal, went to bed.

"King of the road says you move too slow..."