Monday, March 13, 2006

Heather KNOWS

Submitted by Heather:

Black Moses - Thee Parkside, S.F. - March 11, 2006

OK, I have to tell SOMEBODY and that somebody is you.

I went (by myself) to Thee Parkside to see ex-Thee Hypnotics singer's band Black Moses. The Sermon opening. I like The Sermon. Anyways, I was in the same room with James Jones of Thee Hypnotics! Coolness Incarnate! He might be thee coolest rocker walking! I mean it. He's beyond cool. Someone should call TIME magazine.

Umlaut, it was the hardest hottest rock and roll I've ever experienced. Definitely a Top 5 experience. Everyone there (all 50 of them) were dumbstruck. James Jones is the hottest man alive! Which is weird because my Dad's name is James Jones. (he's called Jim. Jim Jones.) And I won't even speak to my Dad. And James Jones' wife's name is Heather Jones! And I couldn't wait to say "Hey! MY name is Heather Jones!", but their manager said that that's his EX-wife and he doesn't like to hear that name. Shucksies.

The sound was perfect (in that shithole!) and it was such an intimate setting with him there on the floor right in front of me singing passionately through two microphones wailing on his guitar doing rock-star moves pointing and screaming and gyrating, what a royal ruckus! It was heavy and loud and the most killerest grooves imaginable that one is in danger of breaking one's neck!

The only other time I got rocked that hard was at Orange Goblin, and that almost killed me. Black Moses could almost get you pregnant with how great they rock. Immaculate conception, my friend. Afterwords, I kissed him on the face and he gave me his pick. I got his rock-sweat on me!

Highlight: The doorman, while looking at me mind you, asked me if I was 21. I said "Hey! I'm twice that!"

Here's the poster:


One of THEE best Rock shows Umlaut ever saw was Thee Hypnotics at The I-Beam.. Here's the poster:

Thee Hypnotics - The I-Beam, S.F. - 3/21/92 (from the Umlaut Attic)

I tore the poster off the club's door as we staggered outside after being brought to our knees by the band's performance... or maybe it was the alcohol we drank... Either way, they did encore with a KILLER cover of Aerosmith's 'Sweet Emotion' that I remember to this day. Thee Hypnotics were a fookin' ace band, dontchaknow! Their Come Down Heavy and Soul, Glitter & Sin albums still hold up even after 15-16 (!) years.

Umlaut only wishes that Heather had told him about the Black Moses show in advance!