Day On The WTF

Umlaut says this is the 21st Century equivalent of when Oakland Stadium hosted a 1987 Day On The Green featuring Motley Crue, Whitesnake, and Poison.

Snack Shack

Umlaut's brutha Mike put together a nice trailer for the 1st Annual Backyard Drive-In:


The drive-in of Umlaut's childhood was the Sunnyvale 1 & 2:

Sunnyvale, CA - Circa 1981-82 (Pic by Umlaut)

I have vague memories of seeing Tora! Tora! Tora! and Beneath The Planet Of The Apes at this drive-in... but can't remember what else. It was less than a mile from my parents' house; as a kid I was fascinated seeing the movies on the screens if we happened to be driving by the theater at night.. and it was cool how you could sneak into the theater during the day when it was closed (which is how I took the above pic).

Sunnyvale 1 & 2 has been gone for years, covered over by condos... Another time, another place.

The Good Samaritan

Umlaut would like to personally thank Mr. Green for being a compassionate human 'cause it saved my ass!

However, I will admit that I wondered about Mr. Green, a man who still owns an old typewriter, still has Liquid Paper to correct typing errors, AND who was in the "ARMY" (Which ARMY??).

I imagine Mr. Green being a 21st Century Travis Bickle, rescuing innocent mail from a sordid fate on the mean streets of Noo Yawk. You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here...

"I hope it don't cause any problems."

Green Grass And High Tides Forever

Hughie Thomasson of The Outlaws passed away over the weekend. Thomasson wrote and sang the band's trademark song 'Green Grass And High Tides', as well as other hits such as 'Hurry Sundown' and 'There Goes Another Love Song'.

Hughie Thomasson with The Outlaws
Cow Palace, S.F. - April 17, 1982
(Pic by Umlaut)

Umlaut saw The Outlaws in 1982 when they supported Black Sabbath, which still seems like an odd bill even now. The drunken Sabbath crowd didn't take very kindly to The Outlaws and at one point Hughie was hit in the face by something thrown from the crowd.... However, after going offstage for a minute to recover he was back out front and when the band launched into 'Green Grass And High Tides' the crowd loved it. Rock concerts used to be so much more fun.

Fast forward to 1997 and Umlaut caught a latter day version of Lynyrd Skynyrd in concert. The version of Skynyrd at the time was actually interesting to Music Geeks because it featured guitarists from 3 of Southern Rock's greatest bands: Gary Rossington (Skynyrd), Ricky Medlocke (Blackfoot), and Hughie (The Outlaws). I gotta say that in his later years, Hughie looked better than he did back in the 70's heyday of The Outlaws; sorta like a Southern Rock Lemmy.

Trivia: Name the song that both The Outlaws AND Nick Cave covered...

Answer: The 19th Century Appalachian murder ballad 'Knoxville Girl'.. The Outlaws in 1975 and Cave in 1996.

Anyway, another Rock Star gone... Long Live The Florida Guitar Army!

Click HERE for a free download of a live 1975 recording of The Outlaws from The Record Plant in Sausalito, CA.

Sin City

A couple of weeks ago I was in Las Vegas. Former S.F. Mayor Willie Brown (aka Dah Mayor) was on my flight with his tall blonde companion.

Willie Brown with companion Sonia Molodetskaya

Dah Mayor still kinda rules in that slimy playah sorta way.. but on the plane he was dressed like a dork (old man hat, polyester pants, etc. etc.).. but tall blonde women dig him, so what do I know. However, he did cut to the front of the line just as the plane started boarding, which was an asshole move.

The NDA I signed prevents me from full disclosure on what I was doing in Vegas, but I can say I was there attending a tradeshow for my profession. For better or worse I hadn't been to Vegas in 12 years and the 100+ F. weather (with occasional thunderstorms) didn't help to endear Sin City to me. Anyway, some random snapshots:

• Working my ass off with a trio of co-workers to set up at the tradeshow at 11:00PM on a Sunday night... Just as I was hitting the wall after hours of running around town via cabs getting supplies, carrying heavy shit, sweat and labor, The Boss plugged in a turntable, pulled out a stack of albums (vinyl!) and dropped The Cure onto the platter and the adrenaline rush pushed us through to finish the job... "Boys don't cry..."
  

• As I was walking past the security dudes to enter the showroom, one of the guards noticed my Iron Maiden Killers shirt and sang "Run to the hills... run for your liiives.." I laughed out loud; I probably should have high-fived him.

• Having a conversation with an Australian guy about Australian Rock bands; he "knew of" Rose Tattoo, but I could tell he had no idea who Radio Birdman, The Saints, or Angel City were.. However, he did know AC/DC... Nice save, dude.
  

• Being told a classic Old Metal war story involving being on Saxon's crew during their 1980 U.K. Tour... I wish I could retell the story here.. but I can't.. Hilarious stuff... trust me. Metal.
  

• I ran into several former co-workers from my last employer... Yes, the company that caused me considerable jaggedness earlier this year. The encounters confirmed for me that sometimes shit happens for a reason. Do you watch Heroes? Same sorta thing...
  

• I wondered what trade shows were like before Booth Babes... and also where are these mythical creatures stabled when they aren't pimping companies?? I'm sure the most magnificent ones are of the free range variety.

Anyway, that's my Vegas report... for what it's worth.. kinda boring, right? Cue AC/DC..

"So spin that wheel, cut that pack, and roll those loaded dice..."

15 Years Ago Today

The day I almost died.


To make a bizarre story short: I was driving on Interstate 280 in Daly City after Bar Time. I had spent the night in S.F. on a date with someone who was substantially younger than me... and eventhough I had met her in a record store and she was into Nick Cave, I realized that night it wasn't going to work when she said she'd never seen The Brady Bunch.

Anyway, as I was driving along in the fast lane, a car in the slow lane ahead of me decided to make a u-turn on the freeway. You read that correctly: A CAR IN THE SLOW LANE DECIDED TO MAKE A U-TURN ON THE FREEWAY.

Since the car was ahead of me, I watched as the driver made the left hand turn, crossed over the middle lanes, and came at me head on in the fast lane. I was, like, "What the fuck!??" I slammed on my brakes but we still collided at a good rate of speed.

After the impact, I was stunned (Thank Dog for seat belts...) and stumbled out of my car just in time to watch as 4 or 5 Hispanic dudes bailed out of the car that collided with me... They ran across the freeway and disappeared through the bushes on the far side of the freeway. Yup, the assholes abandoned the car after the collision and didn't even stop to see if I was okay. I was, like, "What the fuck!?? (I learned later that the car had been stolen in Marin City.)

I'm sure I was in shock, and my chest hurt, so I leaned against the guardrail on the freeway's center divide a few feet behind my car. A minute or so later another car traveling in the fast lane came speeding upon the scene and slammed into my car and the abandoned one (which were blocking the fast lane) and cars went flying everywhere.. The 3rd car went flying across the freeway and smashed into a light pole on the far side. I was, like, "What the fuck!??" I sometimes think what would have happened to me if I had stayed in my car... I probably wouldn't be typing this right now.

When the CHP arrived on the scene they were dubious about my explanation of events (u-turn.. on the freeway... head on collision.. Hispanics fleeing the scene... a 3rd car crashing into the scene, etc)... but their attitude changed since it was obvious that nothing else could explain the scene.. and I think my version of events was somewhat supported by the driver of the ill-fated 3rd car whose car was wrapped around a light pole.

Long story short: I declined an ambulance ride to the hospital (STUPID) but the CHP "kindly" said they could only give me a lift to the next freeway exit. I was, like, "What the fuck!??" So there I was at, like, 4:00AM in the morning at a Denny's in Daly City, my chest hurt, and no one I called from a pay phone (pre-cell phone days!) was answering (including my parents)... I was, like, "What the fuck?!!" Thankfully, Big Wayne answered his phone and he came to my rescue... and that's the night Big Wayne saved my life.

Long story short: Since I stupidly declined an ambulance ride on the night of the crash, it took me a day or so to discover I had a cracked sternum.

A week or so after the crash, I visited the carcass of my car (R.I.P. Festiva) at the junk yard to retrieve whatever crap I had in it... I pressed eject on the cassette player to retrieve the tape that was playing at the moment of the crash. It was a cassette of the Sisters Of Mercy - Vision Thing album..... and what song was playing at the moment of impact??

'Detonation Boulevard'

I shit you not.

At the junk yard the guy said how lucky I had been, because usually when a lightweight car like the Festiva got hit head on, the driver and / or front passenger would be crushed by the engine and dashboard smashing back into them.

Fifteen years later, and I'm just happy to be here. Cue Sisters Of Mercy.

"On Detonation Boulevard... Bang bang..."