+1

The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways. Funny how things go around then come around... Green Day and Metallica are arguably the biggest bands in their respective genres. Both are rooted in the Bay Area and Umlaut was fortunate enough to have witnessed their infancies in divey clubs back in The Day(s). As the curtain began to fall on 2004, both mega-acts ended their respective tours at home.. And The Rock Godz sent forth Angels to assist Umlaut and his trusty confidante Skychick with each event.

Ready? Here we go:

Green Day - Bill Graham Civic, S.F. - Nov. 24, 2004



Twas the final show of the American Idiot 2004 U.S. Tour. Did you know that Green Day has sold 20 MILLION albums worldwide? That's basically equal to the population of Australia. Throw another studded belt on the barbie.

In 1991, Big Wayne told me to check Green Day out so I did. I think the first time I saw them was at a warehouse / art space in The Mission... I still root for the lads, even if they did spawn all of the gutless 3rd rate punk bands inhabiting MTV and Hot Topic these days... but you can't blame them for that. Good bands spawn crap bands.. Tis the Music Biz.

The 8,100 capacity Civic was sold out weeks in advance and tickets were going for up to $113 each ($30 face value) on Ebay. Punks Not Dead. It had been 12 years since I last saw GD and I actually dig their "critically acclaimed" new album quite a bit. However, despite that, I was still expecting the show to be a Hot Topic Mallrat faux punk show. 'Cause I've seen it all before, kids these days, a mile in the snow uphill barefoot, blah blah blah.

But you know what?? I realized what a jaded old fart I was for having that expectation. For one brief shining moment I had become my parents. Gee Mr. Umlaut, not ALL of the music The Kidz listen to today is crap.

Green Day were fucking GREAT GREAT GREAT on all levels. Showmanship. Musicianship. Songs. Pyro. Humor. And The Kidz LOVED them. They still had a bit of that East Bay attitude that people who remember Gilman St. before there was a yuppie brew pub across the street would appreciate.

(Note: I was once knocked off my feet by The Pit at Gilman... but I've also been to that brew pub. The fish 'n chips are excellent.. I sold out a long time ago, kids.)

Best Moments - The show opening blast of 'American Idiot'... The band's onstage musical versatility via some additional musicians (guitar / keyboards / horns) left me gobsmacked. A version of the Operation Ivy song 'Knowledge' with kidz pulled from the audience playing bass, drums, guitar. The song concluded with Billie Joe urging the young girl / bassist to stage dive, which she did after a nice running start. Basically watching the show from the lighting board and not breaking a sweat the entire night (Cheers to The Wag Man). A bitchin' (for lack of a better term) cover of 'We Are The Champions' complete with gonzo confetti cannons filling the Civic with red and white paper. Thousands of kidz singing along loudly to every song, even the new ones. The little 8-year old boy standing next to us with the green mohawk.

Best Quote - Me: "A punk band with pyro onstage?" Tour Manager Doug: "We like to blow things up."

Parking Lot Fee = $5. Some homeless guy tried to scam us in the parking lot before the show, but I would have none of it. On the way back to the car some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Thanks to old Umlaut friend Doug for the +1 into his All Access Pass World. Keep it real out there, for The Kidz.

The Kidz ARE Alright... At least the ones into Green Day. Hope I die before I get old.

Metallica - HP Pavilion, San Jose, CA - Nov. 28, 2004



Twas the final show of the Madly In Anger With The World 2003-2004 World Tour. Did you know that Metallica has sold 90 MILLION albums worldwide. That's basically equal to the population of Germany. Achtung Bundesliga.

In 1982, old Umlaut friend K.J. told me to check out Metallica's demo tape so I did. The first time I saw them was at a club in North Beach. That club is now a "high end" strip joint. For better or worse, I've seen Metallica more than any other band... This gig was approximately the 40th time I'd seen them dating back to the year of the Falklands War. When it comes to this band I'm like Smeagol / Gollum. As much as I fight it, sometimes I still clutch The Metallica Ring. "I am no man..." Filthy little Rock Star Hobbits.

Best Moments: Hunting for the VIP Room so we could use our drink tickets ("Hello Cleveland.."). The Biker wearing the “Nazi SS - Support Your Local White Boy” t-shirt in the VIP Room and the looks he got from the other racially mixed “VIPs” (Hmmm, which band member would have put him on the guest list.. Hmmm..). Basically watching the show from the soundboard and chatting with Old Metal friend John Marshall (An original Metallica roadie (now retired) and fill-in tour guitarist in 1986 and 1992 when James' arm was broken and burned). Noticing all of the crew people around the soundboard calmly reaching for ear protection simultaneously just prior to the SHITLOADS of pyro that introduced 'One' (THE best arena pyro display IMO) and then calmly removing the ear protection simultaneously after the final explosion.. Seeing Lars slither past with his actress girlfriend in tow (Seen Gladiator?). I'm happy to report no civilians or other unauthorized personnel interfered with their passage. Introducing Skychick to Kirk and chatting with him for, like, 10 seconds but having him tell me that he tried to get the band to play ‘Mercyful Fate’ as part of the night’s set but the rest of the band weren't into it. Posers.

There were a good number of empty seats way up in the nosebleed sections, so the 18,000 seat arena wasn't sold out. However, the sold out general admission floor tickets went for up to $124 each ($75 face value) on Ebay. Corporate Rock Rules. After all these years, seeing Metallica for me is like attending a performance of Cirque du Soleil. It's not about the content, but the spectacle. I must admit that I spent a good portion of their set trying to figure out the function of the PDA / Pocket PC plugged into the soundboard. I also found myself watching the guy working the high tech gear monitoring the mini-cameras positioned around the stage. (GEEK!)

Parking Lot Fee = $15 (Mofos!). On the way back to the car some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. For the Old School Bay Area concert goers: THE CAVEMAN was at the show (Note: The Caveman was seemingly at EVERY major Bay Area concert in the 70’s and 80’s.. The Caveman has bushy hair, beard, and always wore FUR shorty shorts and FUR boots and “danced” wildly during shows.. and in 2004 he hadn’t changed..)! The more things change, the more they stay the same. Thanks to old Umlaut acquaintance The Lead Guitarist for the +1 into his All Access Pass World. Keep having those champagne wishes and caviar dreams, for The Kidz.


If you had been on The Drummer's guest list you would have seen this sign outside of his personal VIP room (The sign was "acquired" by Umlaut on the way back to the car...).

Footnote for The Old School: Today is the 22nd Anniversary of Metallica's legendary Old Waldorf, S.F. "Metal Up Your Ass" show. Oh, The Rock Godz do like their irony, don't they? Time sure does fly when you're growing up.

Epilogue: Umlaut was struck by the contrast between the two gigs... The differences in energy, band performances, crowd vibe, etc. etc. were quite profound to me. To keep it short I will use the age-old music snob cliché of analogy: If each band were a drummer, Green Day would be Keith Moon (circa 1965-71) and Metallica would be John Bonham (circa 1979-Drinking Binge).

Enter night, Exit light.

The End.

Best DVD Ever

Before Harry Potter there was Eddie.

My best friend in high school and I stumbled across the Killers album in the import section of the local Tower Records circa 1981. We loved the cover so we each bought a copy. Between 1981-85 Maiden were just about my favorite band.. When they finally made their S.F. Bay Area debut in July 1982 (opening for Foreigner / Loverboy / Scorpions at Oakland Stadium) it was total godhead.

Oakland Stadium - July 18, 1982 (Pic by Timo)

Maiden ALWAYS did things right when it came to their fans. Their tourbooks from the 80's are still amazing to me, filled with minutiae that only a hardcore fan would appreciate. Their new DVD continues that tradition.



DVD = 5 hours of Maiden in their prime circa 1980-83. So fucking METAL. Everything else that came out this year pales in comparison. Why? This is an example of a band releasing something the right way: From the heart. Filled with minutiae that only a hardcore fan would appreciate. No footage of them with a therapist. Biggest Geek Moment = FINALLY seeing the 1980 promo video for the song 'Women In Uniform' that features Leslie Ash (aka Steph from Quadrophenia).. GEEK!

Maiden introduced me to English soccer after I learned the meaning of "Hammers Rule O.K.". The phrase was cryptically printed (at least to us Yanks) in their album liner notes. I used the phrase in my senior testimonial in the high school yearbook (GEEK!)... Which I closed with the promise of "England or Bust!."

Years later on my first visit to London I came across a West Ham team button. At that time, I hadn't listened to Maiden in awhile and seeing the button was a profound moment. It felt like a circle was completed... one that began in that Tower Records in 1981. That button is on my world-weary black Levi's jacket that's hanging on the coat rack in the next room (GEEK!).

I've seen Maiden on their past 2 tours (2000 and 2003) and they were still amazingly great even after all these years.

O.K.. I'll shut up now.

Up The Irons. Hammers Rule O.K.

You Gotta Have Faith

In these dark times, any reassurance that your faith is righteous is welcome. So it was for Umlaut at the local taqueria a couple of days ago:



Praise be.

El Diablo es mi amigo.

Nov. 16, 2004: 8:00pm... I'm just about to sit down on the couch with a glass of red wine to chill after another productive day at work. 8:00pm... and someone starts pounding on the front door and ringing the doorbell. What the FUCK?! The dogs are barking. The door is being pounded on.. This had better be good.

I switch on the porch light and open the peep hole door. Within 2 seconds I notice 4 things: (1) Two young white boys, (2) crewcuts, (3) dark conservative jackets and ties with white shirts, (4) name badges on lapels.

CHRISTIANS.

The next 3 seconds went like this: God's White Knights were able to blurt out "Sir.." but I cut them off with "NOT INTERESTED" and slam the peep hole door shut and turn off the porch light.. I hear one of God's White Knights say "Do you know anyone..." before I banish them from my evening. The dogs continue to bark at the front window until The Missionaries are out of range.

What the FUCK is it with Christians?!! How arrogant. Coming to someone's house unsolicited with their self-righteous "I must save you" / "Bearing witness for The Lord" bullshit. Fuck YOU. As much as I would like to I would never be so insolent as to go to one of their houses and ask if they'd be willing to accept Satan as their own personal savior. "C'mon!", I would say, "Satan's music is WAY better! GUITAHH!!" However, I have MUCH better things to do than worry about how someone else is living their life.

After this brief encounter I was again reassured that MY path is indeed righteous.. In hindsight I probably should have debated God's White Knights, but they were intruding on MY life so why should I stoop to their level and play their game?

W.W.J.D.?

Get off my property.

Nov. 17, 2004: The God Squad seems to be targeting my neighborhood this week. Operation Annoy Thy Neighbor. Perhaps taking a cue from the military operations in Iraq, they are going house-to-house during the night AND day attempting to root out Godless insurgents. Another God Squad assault team came to the door this morning, but they were quickly repelled. However, not before one of them started her sales pitch with the line "Conditions on The Earth..." (*slam*)

Of course, putting up a "No Solicitation" sign could be a solution... But that would be acknowledging the God Squad and I also dislike how cheesy those signs look on a front door. Plus, legally this is evidently an already much debated subject.

Umlaut's crack research staff found this online:

"Although Jehovah's Witnesses do not consider themselves to be "solicitors" because they make no charge for their literature or their teaching, leaders of the church testified at trial that they would honor "No Solicitation" signs in the Village. They also explained at trial that they did not apply for a permit because they derive their authority to preach from Scripture. "For us to seek a permit from a municipality to preach we feel would almost be an insult to God....."

However, then there was this:

"Seventh Day Adventists missionaries proselytizing door-to-door are not solicitors under the definition of the peddling and soliciting law and are not required to be licensed."

A call to City Hall elicited a response that pissed me off even more. When asked about any local city ordinance pertaining to door-to-door solicitors, the woman at City Hall said that she "didn't know".. She was also obviously not sympathetic and chimed in that The Missionaries had "A right to express their beliefs..."

WHAT THE FUCK?!

This was a representative of the local government saying this! Yes, of course, they have a right to express their beliefs.. But NOT on MY property without MY permission! God's Tool comes in all shapes and sizes.

I'm thinking that instead of a No Solicitation sign I'd be happier with a 12 gauge loaded with rock salt as a God Repellent. Seven Hail Marys and a hail of rock salt up your ass.

Amen.

Nov. 18, 2004: From Popbitch (Thanks to Mary K. for the heads up):

>> Shopping with Black Sabbath <<

Tony Iommi goes silver bible-bashing.

Tony Iommi from Black Sabbath was in a shop in Birmingham's jewellery quarter. After buying Ozzy a crucifix for Christmas he asked for advice on a present for a new baby. Iommi's wife suggested, "What about one of these silver fronted bibles?" "I can't buy that", replied Tony, "I'm in fucking Black Sabbath."

Satan laughing spreads his wings, oh Lord yeah...

Peel Sessions R.I.P. - Updated

Original post from Oct. 26th:

John Peel 1939-2004

Damn.. ANOTHER person who influenced my early music geekdom gone. The first Peel Session I remember hearing was a Billy Bragg 12" Peel Sessions EP around 1987. So many great Peel Sessions sit on my shelves: Birthday Party, Thin Lizzy, PJ Harvey, Nirvana, Joy Division, Nick Cave, Jesus & Mary Chain, White Stripes, etc. etc. etc.

Peel Sessions helped educate me in my Anglophile Rock ways during my formative years.

One of my favorite ones from recent years is a PJ Harvey session from his 'Peel Acres' show (which was done from his farm in Suffolk). At one point, he and PJ got all geek about Captain Beefheart and Peel offered to dub PJ a copy of a Beefheart bootleg she'd never heard.

Peace.
---
ADDENDUM #1:

Miatomic adds: "I have a copy of the Close Lobsters Peel Sessions. It's got a brilliant version of 'I'm Going To Heaven To See If It Rains'."

---
ADDENDUM #2:

John Peel was laid to rest today. Tijanna submitted her excellent Peel memories:

The first time I went to London I got to sit in on TWO John Peel Sessions. I saw him interview Brian May of Queen and I also got to see him interview John Entwhistle, who was one of my idols. I got John E.'s autograph and even asked him a question, which he answered!

The two 2-hour sessions were intimate and real and groovy maaaannnnn..... Yeah, there were these little advertisements in Time Out that were like, "Come on down and be part of the audience" type things. Like, "Run down to the grocery store for our special and bring this coupon with you."

I asked Entwhistle something about, since I'm small and have little hands, what type of bass would he recommend for me to play. He suggested a Steinberger. I tried one out shortly after that but they're too unbalanced for me (and really heavy). Too much on the body end and not enough on the neck."

Bleed The Geek

For better or worse, this blog is mostly Music Geek Land. P'raps in the future there will be more non-music content.. but til then this space will be more interested in 7" colored vinyl than possible election fraud on the Florida Panhandle. I leave political blogging to The Kidz.. Because I believe that children are our future.. Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Anywho...

The Brian Jonestown Massacre
Bottom of the Hill, S.F.
November 10, 2004

This was the type of gig experience that reminded me of being a young music geek. Carpe Diem Lock 'N Loll.. The show started at 9:30pm, but after watching 'Lost' I was on the verge of staying home. However, I did the 'ol Devil and Angel on opposing shoulders inner monologue and left the house at 10:44pm.

Back in 1992 a girl I sorta, kinda dated told me about a band called The Brian Jonestown Massacre who lived near her in The Haight. She was a photographer of genuine talent and showed me pics she'd taken of them. Fast forward 12 years and I have no idea what happened to that girl... but here I was leaving the warmth and safety of my home in the middle of the night to go see that same band.

As fate would have it, I finally saw the documentary Dig! the night before this gig. In my opinion, it's everything that Some Kind Of Monster wasn't.. Yeah, it depicts drug addict, unstable musicians. Yeah, it depicts egotistical, dysfunctional musicians. Yeah, but it also depicts two bands whose music I really dig (pun intended)... But ultimately the film is about "the music" and the eternal battle of Creativity vs. The Biz.. AND there are no millionaire Rock Stars whining about their lot in life while selling their Basquiat collections at Christie's.

The last time I saw BJM was 6 months ago and it was a MESS. Anton was out of it, the band was out of it, and they barely made it through songs. After 40 minutes I was already on my way back home after Anton jumped off the stage to fight a guy in the crowd.

Since that night, Dig! was released and it's received alot of attention. I'm sure folks are checking out BJM simply to see if Anton will lose it onstage like he does in the film. I'm sure folks are checking out BJM to badger Anton so he will lose it onstage like he does in the film. Sad that those expectations aren't based on the band's music, because I think Anton's songwriting and talent are fuckin' brilliant.

True to this line of thought, the Bottom of the Hill was packed. The show 6 months ago was rather empty. Waiting for BJM to get onstage I hoped they would come out and just kick ass.. I sensed that quite a few audience members had seen the documentary and were mainly there to see "that insane guy" Anton. I wanted Anton and BJM to let the music do the talking.

'Round 11:30pm BJM were onstage and blasted through 3 or 4 songs without Anton saying one word to the crowd. My brain was spinning. By 1:20am I was back out on the rainy streets of S.F. sort of dazed and reunited with the Jetta. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. BJM had played one of the best sets I'd seen all year.

They were all business for at least the first hour, then the alcohol started kicking in... but Anton and the band didn't fall apart like they might have in the past. Yeah, there were a couple of moments where you felt the crowd tense as Anton ranted about something or at someone... but he and the band held it together. After a tense (but ultimately funny) encounter with a heckler, Anton stepped to the mic and the band slammed into a roaring version of 'Going To Hell'. All I could say to myself was "Goddam, I'm glad I left the house tonight..."

"You live in a dream, and it's not going well.. Superman cannot save you 'cause you're going to Hell."

Hmmm... As I was typing this I had Hüsker Dü's 'Candy Apple Grey' album playing (on vinyl!)... I haven't listened to it in a LONG time. It still holds up.

Here's something for The Kidz: The other day on NPR, Terry Gross mentioned that U.S. Military Intelligence plays Metallica, Sesame Street, and Barney music to Iraqi prisoners to soften them up for interrogation.

Geek out.

Random Rock Star Moment #13: Eddie Van Halen

Note: This Random Rock Star Moment was told to Umlaut by a friend of this person, who we'll call "Jamie".

Jamie works at one of the major airports in the S.F. Bay Area as part of the ground staff. Earlier this year after guiding a private jet to the gate she was approached by a guy who had been on the plane. The guy said that his boss had seen her on the tarmac and wanted to meet her. She asked who his boss was and the guy answered "Eddie Van Halen".

Jamie was, like, "Whatever!" and told the guy she wasn't single and not interested. The guy went back onto the plane.

A couple of minutes later Eddie Van Halen walked off the plane. He handed her a note and said something like "If you're ever single again, call me".. Then the former Guitar God made his way to the terminal.

"Oh, whoa, whoa, Jamie's cryin'..."

The End.

Eddie circa 1978... When he ruled The School.

Obligatory Election 2004 Epilogue

"When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth."

I'm proud to say that Haggis Buffet / Umlaut stayed above the fray and only reported what Satan told us to:

Bloggers Said to Blame for Bad Poll Info

We now return to regular Umlaut programming.

-----

Submitted by Heather:

The Cramps
The Warfield, S.F.
Halloween 2004

The Cramps were cool as always. Lux is so HOT! I'm so in love with him. Ivy was gorgeous also.

I had an extra ticket with me and there was this (authentic!) tough punk chick that somehow got into that section and was in our seats. They tried to get her to leave and she wasn't gonna go down without a fight. When the bouncers came thay said "Lemme see your ticket!" and so I gave her the extra ticket. It was meant to be.

I had a bad cold and I put my back out sneezing and had to walk with a cane!

The unfortunate part was that the sound person fucked up the sound SO BAD that it was intolerable and people were leaving! I left early also and on the way out, I poked the sound person in the back with my cane to get her attention and I told her it sounded AWFUL and she flipped me off. I in turn, flipped HER off then went to find some management. They told me it was the BAND'S soundperson, and there was nothing they could do and that I should call The Guardian.

-----

ADDENDUM - Nov. 4, 2004

After a couple of days to reflect upon Election 2004, Umlaut felt it was time to make a change. So, I ditched the venerable circa 1992 7" single cardboard storage box:



For a sleek 21st Century corrugated plastic 7" single storage box that is chaste of any political affiliation:



As Bono once (sort of) said before he became UN Ambassador to Narcissus: "It's a box drained of all colors.." This 7" single storage box is not a rebel 7" single storage box.

-----

EPILOGUE TO THE EPILOGUE - Nov. 5, 2004

I suppose as a Lefty Liberal this week was a reality check. I guess God might not be a bargain bin act after all. Who woulda thunk?! He's been repackaged and rereleased with bonus tracks!

I suppose you could say I regained my perspective on life today... and I did so via an unplanned 3-point method:

POINT 1: It began with a leave-work-early screening of The Incredibles. Straight up: I LOVED IT.. which the Cheesehead Duo can attest to. It truly emasculated the silly new Star Wars trailer that proceeded it. Too bad their licensing doesn't include very cool action figures..

POINT 2: My journey then shifted to S.F.'s lovely Tenderloin and the Golden Era Restaurant. An incredibly great meal followed... Which included fine conversation and the sharing of Lock 'N Loll war stories and gossip with Merch Guy, Kamehameha, and Diamond Head ("The teacher?! Really?!") . An all around meal most excellent. A nice cherry on top was seeing the same guy I saw at Dio last week who was wearing the same denim vest with the large Slayer - Hell Awaits patch on the back. In Nomine Satanic Vegetarians! "Angels fighting aimlessly.. Still dying by the sword.." SLAYER... Now more than ever.

POINT 3: Then it was across town for the obligatory Rock Show:

DRUNK HORSE / ACID KING
12 Galaxies, S.F.

Two of S.F.'s finest kickin' it live in my old 'hood.. Acid King threw up a wall of sound unequaled by any band who are like family to me. So many beers and burritos have been killed in the bloody juggernaut I've cut with them over the years... Drunk Horse are Southern Rock without the Confederate inbreeding.. They're like the South back when the South voted Democrat (obligatory Election 2004 analogy). Earlier I said how this week had seen God rereleased and remastered... But so has Acid King, with their classic Busse Woods CD rechromed and detailed. Nice. Beer count = 2. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenage crack whores called me a fag. My trusty companion, the iPod, once again proved that it's my soulmate by randomly playing Black Sabbath / Dio's 'Heaven & Hell' once the Jetta was fired up... The lyrics were quite apt as the theme song for this week:

"They say that life's a carousel, spinning fast you've got to ride it well.
The world is full of Kings and Queens, who blind your eyes and steal your dreams.. It's Heaven and Hell..."

"They'll tell you black is really white, the moon is just the sun at night.. And when you walk in Golden Halls you get to keep the gold that falls.. It's Heaven and Hell.."

Today was also my mommy's birthday. Yes, I called her. She told me she loved me.

Peace out.

"You've got to bleed for the Dancer.."